Celebritology Live: 'Real World D.C.' Tagline?; Letterman vs. Palin
You've Been Served... a Heaping Plate of Gossip

Liz Kelly
washingtonpost.com Celebritology Blogger
Thursday, June 11, 2009 2:00 PM

Join Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

Celebritology Live Archive


Liz Kelly: Breaking news: David Beckham has posed for a new Armani underwear ad. I hardly need explain to anyone importance of this event.

In other supposed breaking news, reps are denying a report that honorary pet sitter Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt had a clandestine meeting at a New York hotel. I'll bring you more non-news throughout the hour if and when it breaks.

But let's talk about Shia LaBeouf, who this week tells Parade Magazine that he got his sense of humor from watching his parents have sex. In what world is that possibly normal? Or mayhaps Todd Palin, who responded thusly to David Letterman's intimation that Palin's daughter had sex with Alex Rodriguez: "Any 'jokes' about raping my 14-year-old are despicable. Alaskans know it and I believe the rest of the world knows it, too." Letterman, btw, apologized and said the comment was pointed at 18-year-old Bristol. Did the Palins overreact?

Finally, I've got a giveaway. One lucky chatter today will be able to claim a coveted "House Husbands of Hollywood" -- coming to Fox Reality Channel (who knew?) in August -- metal lunchbox. I know, I know -- calm down. I only have one, so the winner will be the person who submits the best tagline for the just-announced "Real World D.C." You know, something along the lines of "Real World D.C.: MTV's Lowest Ratings Yet" (my entry) or "This is the true story, of seven strangers, picked to work at an NGO, live together, and have no one talk to them for fear of future political ramifications." (Paul's entry)

Obviously there's room for improvement.

Let's get started...


Tampa, Fla.: The "are they or aren't they splitting up" about Pitt and Jolie has taken an interesting tone recently. The couple, who in the past have responded to such talk by not responding at all have, in the past week, not only had a spokesperson for them make a statement that they aren't splitting, but now People magazine's cover story is about the same thing.

Could it be that this time the smoke may actually be covering up a fire?

Liz Kelly: Well, consider this pure speculation -- Brad and Angie's kids are also getting to ages where they could start hearing scary rumors about mom and dad. When they were younger there was no need to make a definitive statement, but now it may make sense -- if only to reassure their brood.

Still -- anything's possible. I mean, if Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt can't stay together, what chance do the rest of us have?


Lost update? Withdrawl symptoms are getting worse... : Hi Liz - Can we pretty, pretty please have an update on when the Lost chats will begin again? I believe we will be starting from the beginning - should I start rewatching season 1 yet? Thanks!

Liz Kelly: I'm glad you asked. We'll kick off our summer-long re-watch (and chat) of seasons 1 and 2 on June 25th. Here's a link to the first chat. Come prepared with the first four eps of season 1 fresh in your mind.


Nosy Parker: From a strictly show-biz perspective, who's the winner in this week's David Letterman-Sarah Palin flap? I'd guess Letterman.

Liz Kelly: Especially when you consider that Letterman for the first time this week beat Conan O'Brien's ratings.

But as a Conan fan, I'd like to ask that we not count him out yet. He needs to find his sea legs. I'm sure Jay Leno's core audience isn't much impressed by this young whippersnapper. Give his natural audience a chance to build back up.


Palin Jokes...: Can we please discuss the ridiculous outrage over the Letterman's Palin jokes? I am a long time Letterman viewer and find them no worse than anything he's hurled at Hilary or any man on the show. I thought it was completely obvious that he was talking about her 18 year old (legal adult) daughter. And the idea that he implied raping a 14 year old is beyond ridiculous.

Even the slutty flight attending joke was funny. Was it over the top? of course! But anyone who's watched Letterman knows he's no Jay Leno. Jay is a nice guy who tells nice jokes. Letterman is a jackass and throws zingers. That's why we love him!

Liz Kelly: Agreed. Personally I think Sarah Palin (and Todd Facebook Palin) are reaching a bit with this one. Implying that Dave was talking about 14-year-old Willow was a convenient, yet dishonest, way for them to get some mileage out of this.

Were Dave's remarks crass? Absolutely. That's why we love Dave.


Real World DC..: Real World DC: Lots of Conflict w/o 8 kids!

Liz Kelly: Nice.


Alexandria, Va.: Just read the "Twilight" series and saw the movie for the first time over the weekend. I suddenly find myself VERY interested in all gossip "Twilight" related, especially if it involves Robert Pattison or Kristin Stewart. Please tell me this obsession will pass...I'm in my late twenties, this must make me certifiable!!!

Liz Kelly: Oh, trust me, there are women in their 50s who are similarly afflicted. So I wouldn't feel too bad. Besides, Robert Pattinson is 23, so you're hardly robbing the cradle.

The latest scuttle from Robert and Kristen's drummed up relationship, btw, is that Robert is losing patience because Kristen won't come out and dump her boyfriend. Owe the humanity!


Andy and Opie: After viewing the photo of them together in last week's chat, what famous duo would you compare them to? Laurel and Hardy? Bill and Ted? Sinatra and Dean Martin? FDR and Churchill?

Liz Kelly: Man, that is a great question. They're constantly working against each other, yet underneath it all there is nothing but love. Let me think on this one... I would say Nick and Nora from the "Thin Man" movies, but then Opie would need to be a girl.


Bainbridge Island, Wash.: Now that Carrie Prejean has been, as you so elegantly put it yesterday "stripped" of her crown, does she have to give her boobs back?

Liz Kelly: Good question. If anything, I'm sure the Miss California Pageant organization would make her pay them back for the expense.

And can we please call them "bubbies?" One "Geeky Dreamboats" book to the first person who guesses the provenance of "bubbies."


Alexandria, Va.: That Brit tabloid you always send us to says that Megan Fox has a "clubbed thumb." Is that why she has to suck it during her press junkets? (This sounds really dirty, doesn't it? But everything about Megan Fox sounds really dirty.)

washingtonpost.com: Word.

Getty Images

Megan Fox's Press Junket Success Tips

Liz Kelly: I've seen her thumbs before and they are, well, unique.

But as someone who has talons for baby pinky toenails, I can't fault her for her thumbs.


Nosy Parker: "Real World: DC" where the high ponytail is still considered unprofessional.

Liz Kelly: Hmmm, or "Real World D.C.: Single Handedly keeping Ann Taylor in business."


Arlongton, Va.: I, for one, do not think Letterman needs to apologize. I mean the jokes were not funny and tasteless, but that is what I expect from Letterman. I do not think the children of politicians are off limits if they give tons of interviews and pose for the cover of PEOPLE magazine! Bristol is marketing herself as a commodity at this point, and she is fair game. Obviously, he should not be talking about a 14-year-old in such a way, but I think it is disingenuous of the Palin camp to claim that they thought he was talking about her other daughter. The second I saw that People cover, I thought "Bristol is fair game now" and sure enough, Letterman took a (albeit unfunny) swing.

Liz Kelly: Well said.


Real World D.C.: Because nothing screams "Real" like eight beautiful twentysomethings with no jobs living in a multi-million dollar mansion.

Liz Kelly: Nice -- but not necessarily D.C. specific. (And I'm sure the show will invent some kind of quasi-project or job for these people)


Baltimore: I'm really feeling sorry for Jennifer Aniston. She's really getting a lot of bad press just because she and Brad used to be together. It will always overshadow her current work and I just think it's unfortunate that she has to live with that. We should all move on already.

Liz Kelly: It does seem that way, but -- and not to open up this old wound -- could that have something to do with the fact that she herself mentions Brad and their split in every single profile article written since their separation five years ago?


Benjamen Bratt: I saw him at a golf course...he is super hot. On another note, "The View" is on and I really think Elizabeth Hasselbeck is annoying.

Liz Kelly: Has anyone watched that Benjamin Bratt show, "The Cleaner," on A&E? Any good? I have to say the ads look pretty cheesy.


Quash Cave: Real World DC: They're real. And they're spectacular.

Liz Kelly: Ha!


Kindness gene: Some pundit opined that Leno, Fallon and Conan all share a kindness gene that Letterman lacks. Discuss, and for extra credit detail Jimmy Kimmel's genetic structure.

washingtonpost.com: They're all from the wussy Northeast. Letterman, like certain chat producers, is from Indiana, where only the tough survive. And move to the Northeast as quickly as possible.

Liz Kelly: Oddly, Paul is also a ruddy white guy with reddish hair. Hmm... small gene pool in Indiana?


Washington, D.C.: In what alternative universe can anybody believe that Letterman was thinking of the 18-year-old Palin daughter, instead of the 14-year-old WHO WAS ACTUALLY AT THE BASEBALL GAME WITH HER MOTHER? Letterman claiming, after the fact, that oh, I really meant the older girl is just not credible in the least. He might as well have claimed that he meant Hillary Clinton. Come on, let's get real here. He meant what he said, he's not stupid.

And, by the way, for anybody who actually thinks those jokes are funny, try substituting Michelle Obama for Sarah Palin and Malia Obama for Willow, and THEN tell me how funny you think the joke is.

Liz Kelly: Okay, another view.

But, again, this isn't the first time Letterman has crossed what most would consider to be the line. I can't imagine what would happen if the Palins suddenly started listening to Howard Stern. I mean, come on, these guys are known for their edginess.

And I have a hard time believing that even Dave would make those jokes at a 14-year-old's expense.


Bubbies: Pretty sure that was the term used in Shakespeare in Love

Liz Kelly: Not it.


Real Housewives of NJ!: Bubbies! Book please!

Liz Kelly: You got it. Please write in with your name and address and Producer Paul will see that I get it.


Thumbs!: Wow. What IS the deal with Megan Fox's thumbs?

washingtonpost.com: I don't think most of her fan base is looking at her thumbs.

Liz Kelly: You are so not a girl, Paul.


Real World, DC: We're not at liberty to say.

Liz Kelly: Ooh, now this is a contender.


methinks: Shia should be hereby banned from telling us any more about his family life. It's all very ick nast.

And I have a question, why would the Carradine family want any more investigation into the way David died? Do they honestly suspect murder?

Liz Kelly: The last statement I saw from the Carradine family indicated that they suspected David was murdered by a group of martial arts assassins whom he was investigating.

Apparently that investigation required him to wear a wig and pink fishnets.


Quatch Cave: Real World DC: As Real as You Want It To Be

Liz Kelly: Not bad.


That Guy: Real World DC: They think they're important and they aren't even interns

Liz Kelly: I appreciate the sentiment, but the wording needs some polish.


Lance Armstrong biopic: Reportedly in the works again. Will one of his bromantic pals (Matthew McConaughey or Jake Gyllenhal) play the title role? Or will they go for an unknown?

Liz Kelly: According to the speculation here (NSFW pic, FYI) both Matt Damon and Jake Gyllenhaal were attached to past iterations of this project. But maybe what this project needs is a boost from ick nast wunderkind Shia LaBeouf.


Nosy Parker: Real World DC, where wet T-shirt contests in summer require no added water.

Liz Kelly: I'm not sure anyone outside D.C. would get that.


Andy & Opie: Have Andy and Opie been friends from the start? Or was there an adjustment period?

Liz Kelly: Andy was wary for the first week. Since then, tho, they've been inseparable.

As for the comedy duo they most remind me of: A little Tom and Jerry, a little Smothers Brothers, a little Liam and Noel Gallagher.

And before anyone asks, here are the weekly kid pix: Andy | Opie | Page


Falls Church, Va: Real World, DC: I did not have sex with that woman.

Liz Kelly: Another good one, but a bit dated.


Shakespeare in Love: No! No! They are right! The urchin that outs Gwyneth as a girl says, "He was kissing her bubbies" in relation to Joseph Feines.

washingtonpost.com: Darn urchins!

Liz Kelly: Okay -- but in this case, the provenance was "Real Housewives of N.J." and I find it hard to believe that Teresa -- she of the bubbies -- has ever seen "Shakespeare in Love."


Real World DC: We act important but we aren't.

We act important so you don't have to.

Real World DC - it's not just for old white guys anymore.

Liz Kelly: I like no. 3. Another possible contender.


washingtonpost.com: Book winner -- we got your address. Andy and Opie will be by to drop off the prize soon.


Washington, D.C.: What's happening with the Jon & Kate saga?

Liz Kelly: The latest:

Jon was spotted dining with yet another woman who is not his wife (though she is the daughter of his wife's plastic surgeon).

Despite that, ratings continue to drop.


The kids: Andy, Opie and Page ... could they BE any cuter?!

(Impressive tongue, Page.)

Liz Kelly: I know.


Cougars: What is the male term? I am no longer with this man, but I was a 25-year-old dating a 38-year-old man. I need a name for that. Cheetah?

washingtonpost.com: Congressman?

Liz Kelly: Dirty old man?


Falls Church, Va.: The Cleaner is hokey. If you're into that sort of thing, watch Intervention for the real thing.

Liz Kelly: Oh, I do. Every week.


Washington, D.C.: Real World DC: Electoral Boogaloo

Liz Kelly: Okay, but only if Ozone, Turbo and Kelly make a guest appearance.


Real World DC: Real World DC: The B---ch Set Me Up

Liz Kelly: Again, too old a reference. If only they'd filmed here in the '90s.


Real World, DC: We can neither confirm nor deny the truth of the story, regarding seven strangers, picked to live in a house ...

Liz Kelly: Ha ha ha. Okay, another contender.


Real World DC: where your job title had better sound important!

Liz Kelly: Another one...


Real World DC: Real World DC: Taxation w/o Representation

Liz Kelly: If only. This one goes into the winner's circle, too.


Shia LaBeouf: Would make a great Lance Armstrong. If you look at all of Lance's "serious" romantic relationships, the women all bear a disturbing resemblance to Lance's mother.

Liz Kelly: Ick nast!


Baltimore, Md.: Letterman/Palin imbroglio: A couple of points. One of the jokes talked about Palin trying to keep her daughter away from Eliot Spitzer. Since Spitzer was disgraced over his taste in prostitutes (not teenaged girls) that pretty much amounted to calling Palin's kid a hooker. Can we agree that was uncalled for?

Secondly, I can bet you there have been some uncomfortable moments in the writers room with Letterman asking, "Did any of you X-@-%$& know that Palin was traveling with her 14-year old!!!"

Liz Kelly: I think it's a stretch to say that implies Palin's daughter is a prostitute. Does it imply that she's a young woman who Spitzer might find attractive? Yes.

Wait -- I'm suddenly finding myself in the position of defending David Letterman's indefensible jokes. This ends now.


Atlanta: Liz, In Letterman's defense, I would say that his trademark is sarcasm, which sometimes goes too far and is hard to take. That said, I think he is a genuinely nice guy who is very sincere about serious stuff (post 9/11, his family, etc.) Just my .02

Liz Kelly: Thanks for weighing in.


Washington, D.C.: Real World DC: Because 26 seasons just weren't enough


Real World DC: Please stand to the left

Liz Kelly: Hahahaha.


Arlington VA: Real World, DC: Code Orange Alert!

Liz Kelly: That almost gets there.


Parents in bed: Yuck. I will forever be scarred by witnessing this. I thought I heard my mom crying, and both my brothers came out of their rooms as well. I crawled into their room to make sure she was ok and then I saw it. 8 year olds don't need to see it and I have slept with a fan to cover noises for the past 19 years because of that awful experience. Ew.

Liz Kelly: I never walked in on my folks, but I can assure you I was similarly traumatized by that Chloe Sevigny/Vincent Gallo scene in "Brown Bunny."


Equal opportunity offenders: Is it possible to find both Sarah Palin and David Letterman offensive simultaneously? She is impossible to take seriously for a variety of reasons and he was over the line with some of his comments about her child.

Liz Kelly: Sure, why not. Not saying that's how I feel, but I think that's a fair compromise.


Despite that, ratings continue to drop. : yeah, i realized they were REALLY desparate when they did the crossover with Emeril.

Liz Kelly: Well to be fair, I'm sure that was taped weeks ago.


Actually: it is stand to the RIGHT, walk on the left.

Liz Kelly: Maybe the writer was trying to sabotage the Metro system.


Real World DC: As inane as Congress, just younger.

Liz Kelly: Or maybe "lame as" would be a more MTV-friendly term?


McLean: Real World DC: Undisclosed Location.

Liz Kelly: Okay. This moves to the top of the list.


Real World DC: Mistakes will be made.

washingtonpost.com: "We will not recall the events of this season."

Liz Kelly: I hope the producers are reading. This is pure gold.


Washington, DC: I can understand the Palins being protective of their daughters re: Dave's inappropriate jokes. But when they insist that the joke was about the rape of a 14-year-old, it indicates they are more interested in being aggrieved parties than in protecting their daughter.

Liz Kelly: Well, this is the same woman who, on the campaign trail, hinted that Barack Obama was a terrorist.


Real World DC: Real World DC: If you don't get it, you don't get it..

Liz Kelly: Brought to you by the Washington Post.


The real Entourage Ari: So Rahm Emanuel's brother, Ari, is the inspiration for Ari in "Entourage"? A bunch of the "Entourage" plot seems to be pulled right from the real Ari's Hollywood agency powerplay life (from a recent NYT profile). Help me on one thing though -- what is the difference between what Ari on the show does and the star's agent? They both seem like agents, no?

Liz Kelly: I haven't watched for a couple of seasons now, but you're asking what the difference is between Ari and Eric, right?

Ari is Vince's agent -- the one who is supposed to be making the deals, getting him work. Eric is Vince's manager -- who is supposed to work with Ari to ensure the deals keep coming, but also to wrangle the talent.

They are pretty similar, though, yes.


Real World DC stand to the Right.: Golden. Best. Entry. Ever.

Liz Kelly: That is pretty real for D.C., isn't it?


Carradine Update Breaking News: This just in:

LOS ANGELES (AP) - The independent forensics expert who examined David Carradine's body says the actor didn't commit suicide, and Carradine's brothers are asking for understanding as Thai authorities investigate... The family also released a statement from Dr. Michael Baden (BAH'-den), who said Carradine's death wasn't a suicide. He said further information from Thailand is needed for a final determination.

Liz Kelly: Didn't we already pretty much know this wasn't a suicide? This is about as revelatory as Adam Lambert's coming out in Rolling Stone this week.


Were Dave's remarks crass? : Yes, That's his job and he does it well. Real fans will admit he has no bias: he's nasty to all genders, religions, incomes, etc.

Liz Kelly: One view. Another follows...


Alexandria, Va.: Letterman is a "genuinely nice guy"? In what universe? Okay, maybe he was traumatized into some acts of humanity and kindness way back in 2001, but he's usually mean and self-absorbed. Sometimes funny, sometimes not. He meant what he said about Willow Palin.

Liz Kelly: The other...


Sarah Palin: I can't remember if I saw this from a link you posted, but did you see the photo in the Huffington Post of Palin's wacky pedicure? Sarah Palin's Toenails: What's Painted On Them? (PHOTOS, POLL) Why would she think that is appropriate for a governor?

Liz Kelly: Well. I dunno. I'm no Sarah Palin fan, but I'm all for breaking the boring and de-feminizing women in politics image conventions.


Real World DC: To the Best of Our Recollection

Liz Kelly: Haha.


David Letterman: The Palins should have done the smart thing and just ignored Letterman instead of going way overboard with this rape crap. How an unfunny joke can be twisted to infer child rape is just mind boggling. If anybody should have been offended by the "joke" it's Alex Rodriguez.

Liz Kelly: Agreed -- that's what took it too far. It's exaggeration of the highest order.


Owen Wilson in DC: I saw Owen Wilson eating lunch at Founding Farmers this afternoon. Do you know why he might be in town? Is he filming a movie?

washingtonpost.com: From FishbowlDC: Owen Wilson Shows DC Journos Some Love

Liz Kelly: He's in town filming with Reese Witherspoon and Paul Rudd.


Andy and Opie: I thought it was obvious: Andy and Opie ARE Andy and Opie. (Taylor, that is. Mayberry RFD)

Liz Kelly: They're not really father and son, though. Opie is hardly willing to sit still for life lessons from Andy.


Shia: Shoot, Liz, now I'm remembering that awful day when I walked in on my parents 20 years ago. ick nast ick nast ick nast

Liz Kelly: Celebritology: Helping You Relive Your Childhood Traumas. Next week we can all relive our biggest high school humiliations.


Hartford, Conn. (insurance capital to the nation): Re: Carradine cause of death. It plays a big role in whether his life insurance policy pays out (assuming he has one)

Liz Kelly: Thanks, Hartford. I visited your fair city a couple of years back for a writing convention. Nice little town.


Sarah Palin: We could make up some mean thing about her here in your chat. Make sure she knows. Then she will make a lot of noise about it, your chat will be famous and, again, for her, it will be all about Sarah Palin.

Liz Kelly: Wait -- my chat's not already famous?

Another bubble burst.


Real World DC: The Lame Duck Season

Liz Kelly: Again, a year too late.


Andy: Is a shelter cat, right? Somehow he gives the impression that he is feline royalty--the long-lost heir to an imperial cat throne in an impossibly rich European duchy.

Liz Kelly: He is a shelter cat, but I agree. He's got some pedigree. This week the animals had occasion to be filmed for an upcoming project and Andy kept busting in on Opie and Page's scenes to get in front of the camera, prompting the videographer to call him a ham.


Real World DC: Do you have clearance?

Liz Kelly: Bear with me here -- Paul and I are noodling over the entries.


Wash, DC: Can you please discuss what part of Carrie Prejean's "contractual obligations" went unfulfilled?

Liz Kelly: According to Prejean, she refused offers to pose for Playboy magazine and to join the cast of "I'm a Celebrity."


Liz Kelly: Okay, Paul and I have had a heated debate about the winner. We both really liked the "Stand to the right" entry, but no one actually sent in that exact entry. We received "Stand to the left," which was then corrected by another reader.

So we've arrived at this excellent copy for the winning entry, which gets at both the spirit of the show and D.C.:

Real World, DC: We can neither confirm nor deny the truth of the story, regarding seven strangers, picked to live in a house ...

Winner, please send in your address and we'll get the lunch box to you ASAP.

See you here next week and in the blog tomorrow!


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