Celebritology Live: Kate Gosselin's Hair, George Clooney's Girlfriend, More

You've Been Served... a Heaping Plate of Gossip

Join Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

Celebritology Live Archive

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Liz Kelly: Afternoon. Today I need to ask you all a huge favor. From now on, please address only as "Elizabeth" and not by the offensive diminution "Liz." I can hardly believe that only yesterday I was happily blundering through life allowing people to refer to me by that three-letter abomination. Thankfully, a fellow Elizabeth -- one Elizabeth Becton on the staff of Rep. Jim McDermott (D-Wash.) -- opened my eyes to the name-ism I had been victimized by for so many years. Read her brave story here.

In other news, possibly trying to check the ratings freefall they've been in since the big season premiere, Jon & Kate claim they'll make a major announcement on Monday's show. Lock up your daughters -- Billy Joel is on the prowl again. And, in weather news -- here in Arlington, Va. we just went from torrential downpour to sun in a matter of 30 seconds.

Special note to last week's prize-winners: I've been a very bad Celebritologist. I plan to get to the post office tomorrow morning to send your booty.

Let's get started...

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Arlington, Va.: So, walking through the lobby of the Fairmont Hotel on Monday evening, I noticed a guy out of the corner of my eye who looked just like James Naughton. Looked again, and sure enough, he was standing near the bar talking to Wendie Malick.

Now, I know most of y'alls who are reading this are thinking, "Who?" But then that's what I thought when I read that Chace Crawford is the hottest bachelor.

Liz Kelly: Nice catch. And I'm sure just as slobbered over as Chace in certain circles.

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Uptown, Girl: Can I invoke the "Billy Joel is single" clause in my marriage now? I'm just a few years older than Katie Lee! I could heal his pain!

Liz Kelly: Well, if you're willing to take one for the team who am I to stop you?

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Seattle: Summer is so boring in the world of celebrity, unless you count all of those reality stars (which I generally don't). Here's how bored I am: I have started to watch "The Bachelorette"! On the issue of recent heart-throbs, what is it about Bradley Cooper I don't trust? Yes, I know he is good looking, but something about his very short-lived marriage to another Hollywood type (whose name escapes me) makes me very suspicious of his bona fides. Have you ever heard any dirt on why that marriage lasted like ten minutes?

Liz Kelly: Well, there's always "True Blood" on HBO if you're looking for quality-ish TV.

RE: Bradley Cooper. That short-lived marriage you remember was to Jennifer Esposito. He's also been linked to Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Aniston and our own Jen Chaney:

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C'mon, lets dish dirt...: Kate Gosselin hairstyle - chic & stylish, or makes the Dennis the Menace cowlick look tame? I vote the latter. It makes me want to comb the back of her head down with dippity doo..

Your best guess on WWKD after the marriage (inevitably collapses) - continue hosting a reality show on her own, start a talk show (ooohhh please nooooo), write more books? What do you think? Lady will have to keep the money flowing in with her more affluent tastes in things..

Liz Kelly: I'm not a fan of the 'do. It reminds me of Salt n' Pepa circa 1989. I mean, if you're going to go for the whole "signature hairstyle" thing, at least come up with something original.

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Hollywood age police: In general I am highly skeptical of actor ages (C. Zeta Jones, I'm looking at you!), but there seems to have been less fudging since the dawn of massive internet coverage. HOWEVER, on what planet is "90210's" AnnaLynne McCord born in 1987 = 22? I just don't buy it....

washingtonpost.com: This could require a lot of research.

(AP Photo/Evan Agostini)

Liz Kelly: And I hereby deputize Producer Paul to pursue the truth.

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Nicknames: I have a name that is easily truncated to a nickname. While I still find it a little assuming when people I don't know call my by said nickname, I get over it quickly. Why, because what they say after the name is probably WAY more important. People need to get over themselves. I would suggest we start a file of such cases, but I fear we would run out of space and interest very quickly.

Liz Kelly: Agreed. Good for the recipient of her name-calling vitriol for paying her back with a nice juicy Politico blog item.

I'm guessing the net result of Becton's outing as a self-absorbed, self-important rageaholic will be being referred to as "Liz" more than ever.

As a proud Liz, I'm not sure we want her. Maybe the Betsy camp will be more welcoming.

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"Lost" analysis, Va.: Very excited about the analysis of season 1 and 2! Will you also be doing an analysis or just the chats? either way, we really appreciate it!

Were you able to watch "Top Chef: Masters" last night on Bravo? They had Lindecuse and the "Lost" writers as the judges! They even mentioned when "Top Chef" started getting good, the writing went down a bit (could explain the problem with some seasons), though I'm sure they were being modest. But it was pretty neat to see them in a different setting! Anyway, can't wait for next week!

Liz Kelly: Just the chats. Jen and I figured we probably won't have as big of a crowd playing along during the summer and thought it would be fun to collaborate on the analysis in chat form rather than just pontificate.

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Joel/Rourke: Ellizabeth, please 'splain why one of these slimy little characters is considered hott and the other one is just slimy.

Liz Kelly: Okay. Let's re-calibrate this question to, say, 20 years ago.

Bill Joel

Mickey Rourke

Write back in with your opinion in light of these illuminating pix.

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I like Kate's hairstyle too.: She may be a freak, but I have to admit I like her style, especially when you see what she used to look like. Makes me wish I had a television production team to give me a make-over.

Liz Kelly: Okay, just putting this out there -- one vote for the Kate team.

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I could heal his pain! : Nobody can heal Billy Joel's pain. It's what sustains him.

Liz Kelly: Hey, he didn't start the fire.

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Cary, N.C.: If Megan Fox keeps talking like this I might start finding her hot: Megan Fox: Transformers "Is Not A Movie About Acting"

(Don't ask me how that would work. I don't think I even know.)

washingtonpost.com: I think Megan is right that her performance is about two things, but they aren't "running" and "screaming."

Liz Kelly: Did we share this last week?

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Speaking of locking up your daughters: Please tell George Clooney that his 23-year-old cocktail waitress puts him firmly on the exit ramp to Pathetically Ick Nast and has seriously diminished his charms to me, a former loyal fan.

Liz Kelly: Well, I'm not one to judge--

Who am I kidding?

I think George is a really good actor and -- from most of what we hear -- a down to earth kind of guy, considering that for him normal includes owning several homes on Lake Como and cavorting around places like Cannes with Brad Pitt and Jay-Z.

That said, I have to admit that it does diminish him just a bit to think that his type is basically "Girls Gone Wild."

Maybe he's a late bloomer? Or, as I suspect my friend Gene would say, would all men jump on the chance to date a busty 23-year-old given the chance?

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Liz Kelly: Okay, let's make the Kate Gosselin thing a bit more scientific -- poll to follow...

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washingtonpost.com:

poll by twiigs.com

Liz Kelly:

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Washington, DC: My son's name is Edward. I don't really like Ed, Eddie, or Ted, so I call him Edward.

Can I taze the ass of any stranger who dares to call him Ed.

Liz Kelly: That's fine and all -- as long as you taze them enough to avoid their calling the cops and you realize that as Edward grows up he may decide that he wants to go by Ted or Ed.

I had an Uncle Eddie. My father called him Oddie. Not that your son would suffer the same fate.

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Gene's right: Why does George Clooney date these types? Simple. Because he can.

Liz Kelly: Okay. I suspected as much.

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Arlington, VA: Gene would not jump at the chance to date a busty 23-year-old, because he is on record as preferring less in the bust area.

Is it sick that I remember things like this about a man I've never even met?

Liz Kelly: Well, right re: Gene. In his case, we'd have to sub in a small-chested 23-year-old. Blonde. Short.

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Washington, DC: Why does Weingarten answer so many more questions than you? You're younger, and he probably needs more bathroom breaks.

Liz Kelly: Listen, he's a freak of nature. No one can answer that many questions without the help of performance enhancing drugs. Not that I'm suggesting he should be investigated...

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J&K+8 Hair Hun: so I was at a wedding last month and there was a totally bitchy bridesmaid there with kate's exact haircut and terrible streaky dye job. So my friends and I started calling her Kate all night...anyway, fast foward a few weeks and we've all started to see that hair cut everywhere! So much that we now have a fun game going where the first person to shout "Kate Hair!" when you see the bad hairdo wins. It's pretty fun when you are at the bars people watching on the weekends...

Liz Kelly: Wow -- could "Kate Hair" be the new "tumble weave?"

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Nosy Parker: OK, I'll bite (because I'm a fan of hers ever since she was second-wife Claire Lowell on "Kate and Allie"): What's Wendie Malick doing in town?

Liz Kelly: I believe she was performing a short run in the play "Don't Blame Me, I Voted for Helen Gahagan Douglas."

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Washington, DC: Ooooh. I am SO going to call him Oddward when he does something goofy. Thanks! Can I fling virtual boxers at you, or does it not work in reverse?

Liz Kelly: Bring em on.

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Washington, D.C.: I hope that this "very special announcement" is them announcing that the show is taking an indefinite hiatus, they're going to pull themselves out of the media spotlight as much as they can, and try to salvage things privately. They need counseling, stat.

Liz Kelly: Somehow I doubt it, but we can dream.

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You Can Call me Al: My mother's name was Elizabeth but is called Betty.

can we call you Betty, as in Betty Bacall ?

Liz Kelly: I'm used to Liz, but in order to avoid being categorized with the picky Ms. Becton, I'll say sure. Go for it.

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Pet Contest: OMG Liz - I was totally going to write in making fun of the inane pet contest (doesn't the Washington Post have better things to do?) BUT THEN I realized you are actually organizing the whole thing....um...awkward.....

washingtonpost.com: Best Pet Tricks

Liz Kelly: No, no, no -- I didn't organize the contest. I was just asked to appear in a short video with Andy, Opie and Page introducing it since I talk about them ad nauseum anyway.

It's a cute vid if you ignore my blathering.

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Bon Temps, LA - Your Take on True Blood? (Possible Spoilers): This chat got me hooked on "True Blood" last season, so I'm dying to know what you thought of the premiere - Lafayette lives, Hooray!

Liz Kelly: I thought the premiere was good, but was a little turned off by them going back to the Sookie being disappointed in Bill well again. They need to figure out a new way of creating tension in their relationship -- like having the new young Lindsay Lohan-ish vampire make a pass at him or something.

I'm wondering if Lafayette will end up a vamp.

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I hope that this "very special announcement" is them announcing that the show is taking an indefinite hiatus: My bet is on they will be getting marriage counseling, and we get to watch.

Liz Kelly: Well TLC has already said they'd commit to a sixth season chronicling a separation and divorce. So I would rule that out.

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Elizabeth: My name too. Been called 'em all: Beth, Betsy, Betty, Becky, Liz, Eliza, Bev (where did that come from?). I'll respond to anything, especially when food is involved.

Liz Kelly: I have to admit Bev is a new one for me. I'd assume that to be short for "Beverly." Don't forget Bitsy. Which is so fabulously '50s kitsch.

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hooray tumbleweaves!: I was wondering when we'd talk about those again. I saw one stuck in a metro door the other day and thought of you, Liz.

Liz Kelly: Okay, that's it. I hereby ask all of you to take pictures and send them to me anytime you see a tumbleweave. We'll start a gallery. This important phenomenon must be chronicled.

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too weird: Usually distinctive hairstyles that become hot fads are taken from beautiful, fashionable, popular stars (The Rachel, The Farrah, The Dorothy Hamel) -- not middle aged moms!

washingtonpost.com: I'm in the process of re-watching "Twin Peaks" and her is very similar to the character of Jerry Horne's, but I can't find a good picture of him...

Liz Kelly: OMG -- you're so right, Paul. Jerry is like the male Kate and just as diabolical.

By the way, I have had a hard time watching the actor who plays Jerry -- David Patrick Kelly -- ever since he played a guy who turned into a snake in the 1984 movie "Dreamscape." It should also be noted that Horne was a member of the cast of the deliciously bad 1979 gang movie, "The Warriors."

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Seattle, too much Liz: Can't call you Elizabeth - I work with a Beth, an Elizabeth, and a Liz already - will you settle for Liztastic?

Liz Kelly: Sure -- I also respond well to "Lizzie."

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I hereby ask all of you to take pictures and send them to me anytime you see a tumbleweave. : Should we also send you the actual tumbleweaves? You could do a show at Artomatic next year.

Liz Kelly: Hmmm. That would be pretty awesome, but I'd feel bad asking you guys to actually touch these things.

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I'm used to Liz, but in order to avoid being categorized with the picky Ms. Becton, I'll say sure. Go for it. : No. Stand your ground, Liz. Betty Kelly just doesn't sound right. And Ms. Becton is not a Liz. She may get called Liz for awhile in jest, but from now on I'm going to call her Ms. Becton and pretend she doesn't have a first name. If I ever have to contact her, Ms. Becton it will be even if she says "Oh, my name's Elizabeth."

washingtonpost.com: I now associate "Betty" with "Betty Draper" and am appropriately scared of it.

Liz Kelly: Though sometimes Don does call Betty "Bitsy." Which I should've mentioned above as the probable source of my finding it kitschy cool.

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Bethesda: I've always found a little odd when parents give their kid one of those "classic" (meaning common, old, and usually English) names that are so commonly converted to nicknames -- James, Robert, William, Edward, Michael, Jennifer, Katherine, Elizabeth, Margaret, etc. -- and then get SO annoyed when people assume the nickname applies. I mean, really, what did you expect?

(To be fair, I have a name that is un-nicknameable -- so as a kid I desperately wanted a nickname, and tried to make one out of my initials -- turns out it's really hard to give yourself a nickname and have it stick.)

washingtonpost.com: Un-nicknamable is the way to be!

Liz Kelly: Well, if you've got a short name it can always be made nicknamable by expanding rather than contracting.

For instance, "Paulie" for Paul.

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Okay: what is a tumbleweave?

Liz Kelly: The shed remnants of hair weaves usually found in gutters and on sidewalks after a weekend night.

I wonder if bars sweep up a lot of tumbleweawves.

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re: Well TLC has already said they'd commit to a sixth season chronicling a separation and divorce: Oh good, because it doesn't suck enough when your parents get divorced. You really need to have it televised to get maximum emotional trauma.

Liz Kelly: Right. Without question. If they do decide to go down that road, maybe a boycott is in order.

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Ryan Reynolds: Charcoal grillin' hot or nicely basted vanilla?

Liz Kelly: Somewhere in between. I'm not a huge fan, though his abs (if they're real) are looking pretty good on that EW cover.

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I'm in the process of re-watching "Twin Peaks" and her is very similar to the character of Jerry Horne's, but I can't find a good picture of him: and THERE Is the prize-winning coffee-spewing-on-keyboard post of the day! mwahhaha!

Liz Kelly: Thanks Paulie.

And I'm jealous. I'm about two years out from my every five years watching of "Twin Peaks."

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Pilot Sighting, Dharmaville: Just talked with my husband who saw Frank Lapeidus near the cafeteria in the Captial building. He wanted to say hi, but then realized he doesn't know the actor's real name.

Liz Kelly: Jeff Fahey -- aka Lawnmower Man.

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Psycho Hose Beast: I watched a few episodes last week to see what all the fuss was about. Wow. Has she always been this heinous? Or are the producers just shooting for drama, since that's the pull now? There must have been SOME point at which she was endearing. I can't believe the show (let alone the marriage) lasted five seasons if she's always been such a hot sack of mean. I mean WOW. Oh, and did she ever explain why she didn't give her daughter a drink of water? I'd LOVE to hear the rationalizing.

Liz Kelly: I have never been a regular J&K watcher, but from what I can tell she started out the show with tendencies towards shrewishness. I'm guessing it was encouraged by the producers and she's now become the monster we see splashed across the cover of Us Weekly -- I mean Jon & Kate Weekly -- every week.

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Chastity/Chaz Bono Confusion: Okay I'm confused. Has CB had the actual operation yet, or has CB just started the hormone therapy to facilitate the operation down the road? Or will CB skip the operation the way Alexis Arquette has and live as the other gender without making a genital reassignment?

Liz Kelly: I found conflicting reports this morning about Chastity/Chaz. He is either in the process of or just completed the surgery.

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washingtonpost.com: "Warriors - come out to play-ay!"

washingtonpost.com: "Warriors - come out to play-ay!"

Ben and Jerry Horne

Liz Kelly: Fabulous. Thanks Paul.

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Clarendon: Speaking of boycotting, I read that E might stop covering Speidi if readers so vote... could this be? Is such a thing even possible?

Liz Kelly: Do you really think they'd force Joel McHale to stop covering them?

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the awfulness of Billy Joel explained: From Slate: The Worst Pop Singer Ever: Why, exactly, is Billy Joel so bad?

He's ugly AND his music blows

Liz Kelly: Ahhh. Okay.

But I'm conflicted. I don't like the guy, but I do like some of his music in a nostalgic classic rock kind of way. I mean "Piano Man" is pretty good stuff for cheese and since "Glass Houses" was one of my first cassette tapes ever I have a soft spot for it.

Thanks for the link, though.

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Also not forgetting¿: Bess, Bessie, Bette, Bettina, Lib, Libby, Lisa, Liza, Lizbeth, Tibby

Liz Kelly: Tibby? That's a stretch.

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Virtuality: Do you prefer virtual boxers or virtual briefs? (Presuming, of course, that virtual commando doesn't enter the picture.)

Liz Kelly: Virtual boxers please.

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Arlington Gay: Liz, in this day and age of the Internet, why don't you start a trend and go by the obvious... E-Liz.

washingtonpost.com: Liz 3.0?

Liz Kelly: Liz.com

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George Clooney: I hear the whole "because he can" argument. You'd just think he could find a beautiful woman that was a bit more well-rounded. You know, someone who could balance him out intellectually. Not necessarily (though probably) someone older than 23, and not anyone less beautiful (busty)...but, you know? Maybe a grad student or something. FYI, I start grad school in the fall.

Liz Kelly: Right a beautiful MIT wunderkind who is busy studying nuclear fusion by day and clubbing with George by night.

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In defense of Kate: (Can't believe I just typed that.) But about giving the kid a drink of water, anyone who has a small child knows that the kid will ask you for the same thing 9 times in a row, and only actually want it one of those times. Maybe not ever. Mine asks for cheese, constantly. She rarely eats it. So, yes, I've stopped giving her cheese. I'm actually an awesome parent. I just don't like wasting my time. Or my cheese.

Liz Kelly: I'm not a mom, so I don't come from a place of knowledge on this -- but it struck me as pretty bad when she not only denied the kid water, but then asked for -- and received -- a bottle of water for herself.

Here's a link to the water-denying incident.

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Washington, D.C.: This has not much to do with celebrities, but I wanted to share: SEXY PEOPLE. Cringe-worthy. Talk about a trip down Amnesia Lane.

Liz Kelly: That's so mean. And some of those pix -- especially of the kids -- are fine. Cute even.

And is it possible that the site creator doesn't realize that the pic of "Bret and Jemaine" is a photo of the "Flight of the Conchords" stars?

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Slightly off-topic, but: I had a brief but entertaining conversation with a friend recently in which he stated with great confidence that Billy Joel had performed "White Wedding."

Of course, we eventually figured out that he meant Billy Idol, but in the interim I gained some mental images that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Elizabeth (not Liz) Kelly: You know, you're onto something there. There may be something in this about stars who should never be confused.

I will leave the chat today with a mental image of Billy Joel dressed in bondage gear. Thanks.

That's it for today. Thanks for playing along and thank you to the 85 percent of you who voted that you dislike Kate Gosselin's asymmetrical helmet hair.

See you here next week.

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Washington, DC: Did you watch the finale of Housewives of New Jersey? What did you think?

Liz Kelly: Oops -- just saw this. I did watch. Found it predictably explosive. I enjoyed the combustion, but it did seem totally manufactured.

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