How to Deal Live

Surviving Your Workplace

Washington Post job expert Lily Garcia discussed workplace issues on Tuesday, June 30 at 11 a.m. ET.

The transcript follows.

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Lily Garcia: Good morning, and thank you for joining today's chat. I look forward to answering your career- and workplace-related questions. Let's begin.

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Fairfax, Va.: I was hired to do public relations, but now it seems all my team wants me to do is be their secretary, and any public relations work I do is seen as irrelevant. Although the customer raves about my performance, my boss treats me like I'm his daughter (I'm half the age of everyone on the team), yelling at me outright in meetings, and when I pass on compliments from our customer, he says things like "that person's opinion doesn't matter." (He seems to do this with both females on the team.) The only saving grace is the money, which is substantial, even though the benefits are terrible. However, I've been offered another job by a friend of a colleague at a start-up company. The only catch - I'd be taking a 35% pay cut. However, the company does offer much better benefits, including employee ownership and stock options. Not to mention the much healthier environment, and that they want me to grow with the company. I told them no in hopes that perhaps I could find something closer to my current salary or get hired by the customer, but in light of some recent events, I don't feel that I'm secure in my job. Any thoughts?

Lily Garcia: Never underestimate the power of a negative work environment to erode your self-confidence and threaten your health. Like a lobster in a pot of boiling water, you may not start to feel the full brunt of these negative effects until it is too late. If you are offered another opportunity with better benefits in a supportive environment, even if it is a pay cut, you should seriously consider making a change.

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Sterling, Va.: Hi Lily, I have more than 5 yrs of experience & its all with good companies but still I can't find a job. Is it because I am not a U.S. citizen? Or I don't have any U.S. degree?

Lily Garcia: It is possible that your lack of experience with US companies or lack of a US degree is hampering your search. However, there is no reason that this should preclude you entirely from consideration. Like all job seekers, you will greatly enhance your prospects if you take the time to draft a resume that clearly conveys skills and experience and not just job title and employer. If need be, include a section at the top of your resume that lists detailed, measurable professional accomplishments (e.g., "Reduced administrative costs for fortune 500 company by 20%"). If you also take the time to tailor your resume to the specific position for which you are applying, you will significantly increase your likelihood of being selected for an interview.

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Anonymous: How to prepare for an interview?

Lily Garcia: In a moment, I will post a link that may be helpful to you.

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washingtonpost.com: Interview Survival Kit

Lily Garcia: Here is a link to our "Interview Survival Kit," which is a good read for anyone looking for guidance on how to improve his or her interview success.

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Forestville, Md.: I have been unemployed for over a year. Should I mention this in my cover letter? If so, how? If not, what should I focus on in my cover letter.

Thank you.

Lily Garcia: Your cover letter should focus on exactly how your skills and experience match the requirements of the job. If you have been unemployed for a year, it cannot hurt for you to mention in your cover letter, by way of explanation, that you are in transition following a layoff, etc. Don't dwell on it, however. Focus instead on what you can do for this employer.

In a moment, I will post a link to a past article that might be helpful to you.

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washingtonpost.com: How to Write a Cover Letter

Lily Garcia: Here is a link to an article offering further guidance regarding cover letters. Best of luck.

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Great Falls, Va.: I can't find a job at all! It has got to be personal, how can I find out what is going on? I have to get a job soon but can't.

Lily Garcia: I caution you not to assume, without any objective evidence, that your difficulty in finding a job is personal. In all likelihood, you are suffering from the typical deadly combination of a soft job market and less-than-impressive application materials. You can always improve upon your resume and interviewing skills. Every job seeker, no matter how senior or experienced, should be taking active steps to constantly fine-tune these tools. As part of this process, you could also ask for feedback from prospective employers who passed on your application regarding why they decided to go with another candidate. You will not often get candid or helpful answers, but it is still worth asking.

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Florida: My field sputtered out and after a long job search I called it quits. I am now getting a master's in special education, with at least 18 months to go. Meantime I am using a scholarship, savings and child support to live. How can I deflect the "keep trying" crowd, who recall my love for my first career field. I have made peace with my choice but firmly announcing this gets me nowhere. Out of patience and almost out of savings... need a non-defensive comeback to cork the peanut gallery. I am looking ahead, friends weigh me down with vibes....

Lily Garcia: Tell the nay-sayers, flatly, "I am happy with my choice." Do not engage in a dialogue on the subject.

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Washington, D.C.: I would like to echo a sentiment from Fairfax. I'm turning 30 soon and I'm completely surprised how little respect I get from my coworkers due to my age. I have been yelled at like a child, and told that since I "haven't been through much" I should expect this behavior. I'm also currently being treated... I do not disclose this at work, but it kind of toasts my cookies that older people in the workforce feel that it's OK to be unprofessional to younger employees. Most of us ceased to be "kids" years ago.

Lily Garcia: Thank you for sharing your perspective. I am surprised to hear that you are disrespected because of your age since 29, frankly, does not sound that young to me. Have other readers had similar experiences?

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To Fairfax Va.: I'd include a disclaimer for Fairfax VA-- her current employment may be bad, and her friend's company may seem like a viable option, but she should consider a third option (another employer). Start-ups are notoriously unstable, and it's quite common for people to miss paychecks or get laid off in a few months' time. It's entirely possible that she could jump on her friend's endeavor and find herself out of work after a few months, left without unemployment in an unstable economy.

Lily Garcia: That is a good point. Thank you.

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Washington, D.C.: My boss often asks me casually, "what's the gossip?" whenever we are having coffee or lunch. What she is really asking me to do is rat out anyone who is criticizing her or her network of friends whom she has planted throughout the agency, or to 'tell on' people I have worked with, reveal their weaknesses, give her ammunition to get rid of them, etc. I am not comfortable with the idea that people could be ruined by a casual comment of mine, but it is also clear that my stock is falling fast due to my non-responses. Now what?

Lily Garcia: Could you come up with a few harmless "decoy" responses?

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Bully Boss update: I turned him in. Go me.

Lily Garcia: Well done.

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Lorton, Va.: My brother recently had an altercation with his assistant manager, two days later he was fired for "theft" and the police questioned him. The major retailer (non-union) has since dropped the charges, but my brother is out of a job and cannot find work in his field because of this stain to his reputation. Is there any hope in taking action against the company and/or having them retract their false claim?

Lily Garcia: If the false claim is affecting your brother's ability to obtain other employment, he should try to persuade his former employer to provide a neutral employment reference. He can ask that all calls regarding his employment be referred to the HR department, which will only provide confirmation of last title and dates of employment. If his former employer will not agree to do this, your brother should consider consulting with an employment attorney to ascertain whether he has any leverage in the situation.

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Anywhere, USA: I am a receptionist... yes I answer phones... but yes, I also need to pick up printing and go to the bathroom and perform multiple other office tasks so you can understand my surprise/hurt when a recent co-worker launched into a tirade when asked to answer the phones in my absence. The tone was that answering phones was not what she was hired to do... and that being a receptionist was on par with a lower life form. I was stunned and simply did not know how to respond. What is your best advice for me if this happens in the future? FWIW, I did speak to my manager regarding this but no action was taken. What makes it even more difficult is that the office is very, very small!

Lily Garcia: If I were you, I would share with your coworker how her response made you feel. Remind her that answering phones may not be in her job description, but that it is no less dignified than what she does for a living. I am also left to wonder whether your co-worker's reaction was based on something more than her apparent disdain for answering phones. Are other employees in the office also asked to cover for you? Perhaps she is feeling singled out for extra work.

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Reston, Va.: I am a mother of small children and an engineer with 10+ years experience. I resigned from my engineering job about a year ago to take care of our children. Could you discuss how long is too long to stay away from the corporate world if you want to get back to work? In today's trends, does the break in career affect finding a job one or two years later? How about salary-wise?

Thank you.

Lily Garcia: If you are re-entering the workforce after a child-care-related absence, you should try to bridge the experience gap in your resume. What I mean is that you should think about what you have been doing during your time away from regular full-time employment that could constitute experience relevant to a future job. Perhaps you have been managing projects for your children's school or you have been volunteering your services to an area nonprofit. Whatever you have been up to, do your best to translate these activities into a list of accomplishments to add to your resume. The more time you spend away from regular full-time employment, the greater the challenge of bridging the experience gap. With skillful resume writing and networking, however, even a gap of 10 years is not insurmountable. Also consider reaching out to recruiters, such as Momentum Resources and Mom Corps, who specialize in placing women in your situation.

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For Fairfax: If your bully boss treats women employees worse than he treats his male employees, than that is a potential Title VII discrimination suit in the making. I'm sure HR (not to mention the EEOC) would like to hear about that.

Lily Garcia: I agree. Thank you for pointing that out.

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Washington, D.C.: Well, I may be 29, but I've been told I look like I'm straight out of school. I would think holding my own in meetings would be enough to change minds, but sometimes I think my older coworkers are just as guilty at dismissing the younger employees as the younger employees are with dismissing the older ones.

Lily Garcia: Depending on the size of your office/team, an honest group discussion on this subject might prove productive.

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Falls Church, Va.: I was laid off in November and accepted a lower level position in February. The environment is great but the financial stability of the company seems like very familiar territory from my previous company. Will a hiring manager not be interested if I start applying for new positions after being with this company for only five months? Financially, I cannot sustain another layoff.

Lily Garcia: You will not be dismissed outright, but you can expect a hiring manager to ask you why you are on the market again after such a short time. In this economy, you can expect people to be understanding if you explain that the financial future of your employer in not secure.

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Arlington, Va.: How do you deal with a supervisor who is afraid to take a stand on matters? The current supervisor of my team is VERY afraid of those in a higher position of power over her, regardless of how nice they are, how easy they are to work with, or how little it takes to please them. Her approach is that she has to please EVERYONE above her, and as such, this is often exploited by the people who see my team as a dumping ground for work that either isn't part of our job description or our qualifications. And since our supervisor is afraid to take a firm stand and actually say no, team morale has suffered.

I know I can't change my supervisor's approach of pleasing everyone, but how can a person get out from under this, short of leaving the company or going over her head?

Lily Garcia: I unfortunately don't have any bright ideas for you. Short of leaving the company or the team, your only option is to grin and bear it. Sorry!

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For Non-citizen: Also, keep in mind that most jobs in the federal government or with companies that are contractors for the federal government, require citizenship. So might need to do some research to find companies or positions that aren't related to federal contracting (which can sometimes be difficult to find in this region!)

Lily Garcia: Thanks for the tip.

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Frederick, Md.: How does one get a better job in the federal government when one is 54-years-old and already working for the federal government?

Lily Garcia: I would imagine that you go about it in the usual way, i.e., review job postings and apply. I am not an expert in the federal employment application process, but I imagine that there may be opportunities to network internally to improve your odds of getting noticed. Does anyone have more concrete advice for this reader?

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Frederick, Md.: Good morning. Our non-profit agency has recently encountered the problem of employees with asthma bothered by contact with the smell of smoke clinging to other employees who smoke (only outside the premises of course). What are our options? Thank you.

Lily Garcia: If the distress to the employees with asthma rises to the level of a health concern, then you should take measures to minimize its impact. Request a physician's note if you are not sure about the severity of the problem. Also ask the affected employees for their suggestions regarding how the problem could be handled. It is possible that a very simple solution, such as the use of an air purifier in the office, will resolve the issue.

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Re: receptionist: Seems like the office needs to have an official policy on who covers when receptionist needs a break. In a small office you often have to do double duty, and if that message comes from the office manager it's easy for employees to swallow.

Lily Garcia: That seems like a good solution, assuming the problem is that the offending employee felt unreasonably imposed upon.

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Central Mass.: Hi Lily, I just wanted to underline the importance of adapting your resume and cover letter to the job you're applying for. It may seem like a no-brainer, but I've been appalled at some of the materials that cross my desk when we have an opening (and I'm in a field that requires a Master's degree).

Given the software available, there is no excuse for not tailoring your cover letter to each job. You may want to consider tweaking your resume to highlight the portions that relate to the job in question.

I have mentally crossed candidates off my list when I see application materials that scream: "I'm lazy, sloppy, and I just couldn't be bothered." Because believe me, a lot of people do work at it, and it gets results.

Lily Garcia: Thank you so much for sharing the perspective of a hiring manager. It is much appreciated.

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Bully Boss update: I turned him in. Go me.: Is there a link to the original question?

Don't Be Bullied Into Silence

(Post, May 24, 2009.)

Lily Garcia: Here you go.

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RE: Receptionist: Thank you for answering the phones! I always dread having to fill in for our receptionist... not because I think the job is "below" me, but because I hate dealing with the people who call. So know that at least some people truly appreciate your contribution to the office!

Lily Garcia: Thanks for that.

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Major Change, D.C.: Hi Lily... I've decided that I need to make a major change in my life, now that at 40, I've squarely hit my mid-life crisis. I'd like to enter GIS, or Urban Planning - something geography related. What's the best way to determine the best path for transitioning into a new field? There are so many options for me to consider, and I'm at a total loss as to how to proceed. Intern or entry level job? What kind of training do I need? Can I learn on the job, and/or do I need to learn something (background, software) on my own? When going back to school, do I get a bachelor's (I have a bachelor's in another field), or go into a master's program?

Lily Garcia: A great place to start is by networking with people who have the job that you want. In a moment, I will post a link to an article containing more advice on this subject.

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washingtonpost.com: Changing Fields in a Rocky Job Market (Post, December 25, 2008.)

Lily Garcia: Here is the link. Best of luck to you.

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Washington, D.C.: My boss is planning on firing one of my friends at work and has asked me to help find a replacement. I feel really awkward because I don't think my friend knows what's coming. How can I handle this ethically?

Lily Garcia: I am sorry to hear that you have been placed in this awkward situation. You need to do your job (help find a replacement) without betraying the trust of your friend. You are probably wondering whether you should tell your friend what is coming. If you do and your employer finds out, you could find yourself on the job market, too. However, it would surely help your friend tremendously to have some advance warning. You should only pass along the tip if you have absolute faith in the ability of your friend to keep the information a secret.

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Age Disrespect: When I started my first job after college, I had some trouble with this. Because of the nature of my profession and the kind of weird chain of command at my office, even though I was the youngest/least experienced person there, I was pretty much my boss go to person, and it wasn't unusual for me to be delegating responsibilities to people (usually 40+ men) with much more experience. Sometimes I would have to ask people in the team I was put in charge of how to do something because I had never done it before. For the most part, the people in my department were fine with it and always helpful, but people in other departments had a lot of trouble excepting that the 23-year-old (who looked like she could still be high school) was giving them orders. The thing that really helped was my boss and the others in my dept encouraging me-and between me standing up for myself and my boss reminding them I was in charge things eventually got a lot better.

Lily Garcia: Thanks for sharing your perspective on this issue. As with many workplace dilemmas, the support of an understanding boss can help enormously.

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Anonymous: Here's an example of what I'm seeing a lot of lately:

"Local candidates preferred and considered first."

Now relocating is discriminated against as I see it, but is not unlawful. But they cannot advertise:

"Baptist preferred" or "Latinos preferred" or "Ages 25-30 preferred".

What's your take?

Lily Garcia: Unless the age, religion, and/or race criteria listed in a job posting are somehow related to bona fide requirements of the job, they are inappropriate.

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Lily Garcia: Unfortunately, we are out of time. If I was unable to get to your question, please email me at hradvice@washingtonpost.com.

Thank you for your thoughtful questions and commentary. Please join me again for our next live chat on Tuesday, July 14th.

Lily

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