Celebritology Live: Jackson Coverage, Kevin Jonas Engagement, Bradley Cooper Analysis, More

Liz Kelly
washingtonpost.com Celebritology Blogger
Thursday, July 2, 2009; 2:00 PM

Join Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

Celebritology Live Archive


Liz Kelly: Afternoon -- welcome back. Grab your libation of choice and settle down. Much has happened in the past week, so we have a lot to talk about. In last week's chat we were all specualating about the rule of three celebrity deaths and wondering who would follow Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon to the grave. It was about an hour after this chat ended that we first started getting word that Michael Jackson was on his way to the hospital after being found unresponsive. And within a couple of hours we had confirmation that he was dead.

Let's try to not replicate that experience this week.

In case anyone is still interested, Us Weekly is pointing out that Angelina Jolie out earns Jennifer Aniston. They didn't add the bit about Angie taking Jen's man, but there is a link to "See Brad and Angie's family album -- including adorable photos of the twins." And that Bradley Cooper, of whom we had high expectations for Jen, was spotted dining with Renee Zellweger this week. Sigh.

In case you missed it, themegnapkin's won yesterday's Lindsay Lohan birthday poem contest:

Lindsay, you think you

Work hard? Come to my law firm

for forty-hour days.

Meg, I'm still waiting for you to send your address to me at liz.kelly@wpost.com. This Tiger Beat won't find it's way to your house itself.

And, finally, as a bonus I'd like to offer a sampling of celebrity tweets I found this morning while procrastinating. Nothing special, but taken together they give an interesting snapshot of the celebrity mind:

don't you hate when you eat dinner (that sucks) and then friends invite you to dinner at a really yummy place! ughh so frustrating! -- Miley Cyrus

i hope all my followers can forgive me for all the negative energy i put in the media with all my evil quotes and statements. -- Spencer Pratt

I am so gay for my wife! -- Rainn Wilson

I'm thinking of getting a dog from the local shelter, naming him Nostalgia & letting him run away. -- Dane Cook

Man val kilmer is so fake stoned in the doors. Like a dude who's never ever been stoned before. Definitely lame. -- Pete Wentz

North Korea is nothing but hot air !!! drunk cowboys with a gun full of blanks..... it must be pay day.. diversion tactic LOL. -- MC Hammer

MY soul mate is a really wealthy lemur who wears blue suede shoes and plays the guitar and looks good in a tux or nude...and is funny. -- Kirstie Alley

Being inside of a Virgin America plane is like being inside a douchey iMac. -- Mindy Kaling


Let's get started...


washingtonpost.com: Let's try to get through today without any deaths, 'k?

Liz Kelly: You said it, buster.


Sick of the coverage: Have you heard if any of the network suits are getting the message that we're all sick of MJ all the time?

Liz Kelly: Someone's pants are on fire because earlier this week when I wrote about my worries that I was over-covering the Jackson story, the majority of you said you were eating up the story with a spoon. A gold spoon. With a cherry on top.

Has something changed in the intervening two days or were you sick of it by last Friday?


RW at the WH: Heard that the "Real Worlders" are going to get to meet the Prez. I'm really angry about that. "RW" is so sleazy, and not that popular anymore, so why would the White House need to stoop to that level when they are in D.C.?

Also, any word on the "Real Housewives of D.C."? I am so looking forward to that.

P.S. -- Glad I don't have to pay to participate in this part of The Post.

Liz Kelly: I hope everyone noted that Weingarten has offered access to himself. From today's Gene chat update:

Gene Weingarten: Important Update! Readers can have access to me for $79.95. Dana Milbank's price is $135, so I am the better deal.

As for the Real Worlders meeting the president, I can't get my panties in a bunch about that when there are so many other things I'd like to have a word about with Mr. Obama. Things like the environment and DADT and the DOMA.

Pardon me. I seem to have had a slight seizure. I'm not sure what the "Real Housewives" sked is, but I'll try to find out.


From a building over 100 years old: Can we start a petition to revoke Paltrow's American citizenship? She clearly doesn't like us and seems to think Thomas Jefferson was living in Monticello only 17 years ago.

Liz Kelly: I have to admit that since I've lately been warming up to Gwyneth, I was disappointedwhen I saw Gwyneth's latest foot-in-mouth incident this morning.

For anyone who missed it, Gwynnie basically repeated her "England is better than the U.S." gaffe of a few years back, but this time subbed in Spain for England. Hmm. I wonder if Spain beats England in her hierarchy, too.

I'm not trying to defend her, but I honestly don't think she means any harm. She's just not much good without a script in front of her.


Cleveland: Did you ever choose Creative Captioning winners for the pic of Paris and the camel? I can never find the winners -- I usually check the original post, is that the wrong place?

washingtonpost.com: Paris Hilton's New BFF?

Liz Kelly: I did not. I am a menace to society and should probably be penalized in some way. I won't even bother blaming Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson for distracting me.

In any case, I want to give the entries a good going over, so I'll announce the winning captions on Monday. Howzat?


The lame future: Liz, what will you be doing next Tuesday morning at noon? Will you be staring at your computer with a wistful smile and a rueful sigh? I will.

Liz Kelly: Oddly, this job has a way of filling any void created so I'm sure I'll be as busy as ever, but yeah, I'll probably get a bit misty at 11:50.


Arlington, Va.: Liz, I would like to follow the chat today, but my head just exploded after reading your selection of celebrity tweets.

washingtonpost.com: I want to know what Young MC thinks about Afghanistan.

Liz Kelly: Wait -- did everyone see this recent Barbara Walters tweet? I didn't include it because Gene beat me to it and used it in his update today:

If u see ads for products with Resveratrol showing my photo and name they are false. Also isn't it great twitter helped uprising in Iran9:48 AM Jun 16th


Seattle: Liz, Has Michael Vartran had some work done? I keep seeing him on the promos for "Hawthorne" and can't even really recognize him... he used to be so handsome!

washingtonpost.com: You be the judge. Vartan '09 on the left, Vartan '06 on the right.

Liz Kelly: My god -- are you sure that isn't Christopher Walken on the left? Could it just be a receding hairline issue?


Arlington, Va.: Liz, Is Producer Paul single?

washingtonpost.com: I have asked my girlfriend, and she says no.

Liz Kelly: There you have it.


MY soul mate is : a guy who does laundry, makes funny sounds to make the baby laugh, and buys me flowers. He doesn't have to look good in a tux or even nude.

Liz Kelly: Yes, yes -- but what kind of animal does he most remind you of?


Liz Kelly: Just did a quick search. Could hockey injuries be to blame for Vartan's changing mug?


Gwyneth: Regarding her Spanish host family: "Her success as an actress, she says, hasn't impressed them."

Yeah, me neither.

Liz Kelly: Heyo!


Bradley Cooper: Dating choices starting to look a tad suspicious--attractive women a few years older who perchance recently appeared in a film with him and are likely to garner papparazzi notice. I next look for him to dine with that fetching tiger he seemed so fond of in "The Hangover."

Liz Kelly: You make an excellent point. Who is this man's publicist, I wonder.

Here's the thing -- I really want to like Bradley Cooper. He's smart. He's funny. He's hawt. Is it wrong that I want him to surprise us all by romancing Sarah Silverman and foregoing the usual Hollywood merry-go-round?


Alexandria, Va.: I am boycotting "Today." They led this AM with another 20 minutes of Jackson crap. I mean, really, wasn't there anything more important, like a soldier in enemy hands in Afghanistan or a major offensive there?

Liz Kelly: They led with Jackson? That does seem a tad too much at this point. I could understand that maybe Tuesday when the memorial service is expected to draw (possibly) a crowd of 1 million mourners/gawkers to L.A., but today makes no sense. It isn't as if it's a slow news day otherwise. Did that Ann Curry have something to do with it?


Don't Stop Til You Get Enough!: I for one, can't understand my OWN fascination with all things MJ. I'll be 50 this year so I grew up listening to all his music. Loved his dancing but like a friend with nothing in common anymore, completely lost touch with him except for his lawsuits in the 90s.

Now, I just feel sad and stay up to watch "Nightline" if they are going to have any new info on him. I actually watched Larry King for g-d's sake! LARRY KING!! Watched my dvd of "The Simpsons" with MJ voicing a fat mental patient and singing Lisa It's Your Birthday and had tears in my eyes. Why is this happening to me??

Liz Kelly: This probably won't help, then.

I think the combination of Jacko's former dominance of the pop charts and his later descent into an utterly bizarre lifestyle -- not to mention the plastic surgery and child molestation charges -- have all combined to make this gripping viewing. Oh, and of course the fact that he died from what we assume to be unnatural causes.

A comparison has been made between Jacko's death and Princess Diana's, but I think we need to add a smattering of Anna Nicole Smith into that equation to get at the truth. We loved him, we hated him, we were fascinated by him. So we watch.


I am a menace to society and should probably be penalized in some way.: Lizard Island General District Court hereby sentences you, Liz Kelly, to create an annotated bibliography of Marc Fisher's blogs.

Liz Kelly: So breaking rocks in the hot sun isn't an option, then?


Paltrow?: Are people really upset about this? I don't get the impression she thinks every building in the US is 17 years old. Rather, I get the impression that she was using hyperbole to make a point. Are American's really so self-centered that they can't accept the fact that someone may prefer ANOTHER country to their own?

Liz Kelly: Some yes.

And I got what Gwyneth was saying with that statement. Whenever I go to Europe I am struck by the awesomeness of being able to walk where Michelangelo walked or get a beer in a pub that has been in continuous business since the Middle Ages. It's just a different feeling from the United States where most of our antiquities don't predate the 18th century.

Sadly, many of the ancient civilizations of the Americas -- and they were copious and built really cool and efficient cities and settlements -- were constructed of materials that didn't stand the test of time. Things like wood, so we have to read about them rather than actually walk through them.

Maybe Gwyneth should hire me to think these things through for her.


Hoya Saxa: According to the bio on IMDB, Bradley Cooper rowed crew at Georgetown. (So he's by definition hawt; and arguably yes, he's smart.) Isn't he therefore constitutionally incapable of declining to "ride the Hollywood merry-go-round" if it's offered to him? Or any other merry-go-round, for that matter?

Liz Kelly: Okay, that makes me feel old because I rushed to Wikipedia to find out when he graduated from Georgetown -- 1997. Which means he was out on the river exactly 10 years after me (I rowed Crew in high school). I was hoping that perhaps our eights had passed each other under the Key Bridge.


Marc Fisher reference: I don't get the Marc Fisher reference, but I would break rocks in the hot sun all day every day if I could be there with Sawyer!

Liz Kelly: Which reminds me -- I hope the "Lost" watchers out there plan to stick around for the 3 p.m. "Lost" Hour chat.


Omaha, Neb.: I asked Ruth Marcus if she could remember any previous lyin' cheatin' politicians who have gushed sooo much about the new love in their life whilst not yet divorced from the previous love of their life.

She couldn't come up with any, but surely the ranks of celebrities has more to offer. Liz, can you think of any celebs who haven't just dumped/stepped out on their SO, but really went off the bleeding rails while doing so?

Liz Kelly: Well, Mel Gibson isn't gushing, per se -- but he seems to have dispatched with any pretense of allowing a reasonable amount of time to go by after his wife's divorce filing before taking his relationship with that Eastern European model/"singer" public. And their expected baby is kind of a slap in the face.

Oh, and of course the Jon and Kate stepping out rumors if they're indeed to be believed.


Bethesda, Md.: Amy and Roxanne opined as to why Kate Gosselin was eating lunch in Rockville yesterday. (Raising hand) - a coincidence that Thai Pavilion is a few blocks from Kate's favorite bodyguard, Steve Neild's office? I think not. He's been MIA ever since they returned from N.C. in May.

Liz Kelly: Or maybe because the Discovery Channel -- of which TLC is a subsidiary brand -- is based in Silver Spring?


Bradley Cooper rowed crew at Georgetown. (So he's by definition hawt; and arguably yes, he's smart.): He also spends time teaching acting workshops to inner-city kids, so he's also has a good heart. Hawt, smart and nice.

Liz Kelly: And he is also a good sport.


Not sick of Jacko yet...b, UT: I am sick of

  • Al Sharpton
  • Martin Bashir
  • Corey Feldman
  • Larry King
  • MSNBC special reports
  • CNN's "Man In the Mirror"
  • the unflattering picture of Debbie Rowe that everyone uses
  • aerial shots of Neverland

Liz Kelly: Noted.


MJ and women: Should we find it odd that many of Michael Jackson's songs were about love and women, yet he seemed to have so few love interests during his life? I mean, I guess he and Brooke Shields sorta "dated", but the marriage to Lisa Marie Presley seemed like a farce from the get go, and who knows what he had going with Debbie Rowe, other than he wanted her to bear children.

I bring this up because most songwriters write about their own experiences, but there seems to be a disconnect on this regarding MJ.

washingtonpost.com: Well, it does validate that Billie Jean was not his lover.

Liz Kelly: Indeed. And Billy Jean was based on a real experience, supposedly (from Wikipedia):

The song's lyrics refer to a real-life experience, in which a mentally ill female fan claimed that Jackson fathered one of her twins.

Generally, though, I think artists -- especially pop artists -- write to the market. I mean, look at the very adult songs tween artists like Miley Cyrus belt out.


Gibson: Maybe not gushing, but wasn't there a story that he helped "compose" the songs his paramour was crooning on her new CD? (hard to imagine him composing something that didn't involve gunfire or bombs going off--maybe she sings the "1812 Overture"?)

Liz Kelly: Yep, according to People he did in fact help her to write this song.


Maybe Gwyneth should hire me to think these things through for her.: You should, because when I was first reading this post I thought you were quoting her and I was thinking, hey Gwynnie is actually saying this quite coherently, what is wrong with that statement?

Liz Kelly: See -- I hope someone in the Paltrow camp is reading this.


the unflattering picture of Debbie Rowe that everyone uses : hey, if you can find a flattering one, let us know.

Liz Kelly: I'm just putting this out there. Just in case someone has one handy.

I'll wait.


Jon and Kate: See, the person talking about the location of the bodyguard's office in Silver Spring or wherever is part of the problem. Why do you care? Why do you even know where this person works? I love celebrity gossip as much as the next person, but these people are not celebrities and this kind of stuff seems absolutely ridiculous to focus on. Find something important to post to every chat and comment board.

Liz Kelly: Yeah, there's that, too.


I broke up with NBC this morning: I also couldn't believe "Today" led with Jacko given that it was decidedly NOT a slow news day. Not to get all Paltrow here, but I'm glad I upgraded my cable and now have BBC America to give me actual news in the morning (you know, non-celebrity stuff like North Korea missiles).

Liz Kelly: My mother watches CNN, Fox, French News, BBC and now the Al Jazeera English news broadcast every day. I'm proud of mom.


The lame future: Liz, what will you be doing next Tuesday morning at noon? : OK, I'll be the idiot. What happens on Tuesday at noon?

Liz Kelly: Well, until yesterday, Gene Weingarten's weekly chat.


Washington, DC: So, actors from two of my favorite TV shows have, in the last 2 weeks, eaten at the pizza place two blocks from where I live (Comet Ping-Pong, and the shows are "30 Rock" and "Lost"). When will someone from "Mad Men" be dining there? Preferably John Hamm?

washingtonpost.com: Would you play Ping-Pong with this man?

Liz Kelly: Paul, now you're just trying to bait us.


Kal Penn?: Looking at the salaries of highly paid White House aides reminded me, did Kal Penn ever take up employment here?

Liz Kelly: As far as I know he hasn't surfaced yet, but Amy and Roxanne would probably have the latest intel.


Washington, D.C.: You know you are going to do it eventually, Liz. Just go ahead and post the required photos of your lovely four-legged beasties now.

Liz Kelly: I haven't got a good new pic of Page, so I won't just send out any old thing -- but here's one I took of Andy and Opie this morning.


Alexandria, Va.: Saw the Billy Mays tribute last night. Leave it to Billy to add to the troika of death of McMahon, Fawcett, and Jackson a FOURTH DEATH ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!

Liz Kelly: Well, and then we have Karl Malden and, today, word that we lost the indomitable Mrs. Slocombe.


Arlington, Va.: "The Other" Jonas brother is getting engaged? I thought he was the gay one.

Liz Kelly: Either you thought wrong or he's going to great lengths to throw us all a curve ball.


Washington, DC: If Kate were visiting the Discovery building, she should have had lunch up the block at Lebanese Taverna then go shoe shopping at DSW. Trekking all the way to Rockville is too much.

Liz Kelly: Maybe she really likes Thai. But she really should try Leb Tav. One of my faves. Lucky for Mr. Liz and I we live about a half a mile away from the Lebanese Taverna Market. So we can get our falafel fix any time.


washingtonpost.com: Gushing: Eric Clapton writing "Layla" about George Harrison's wife?

Liz Kelly: Ooh -- good one.


Arlington, Va.: I submit that lighting and makeup are playing a role in that Vartan before-and-after.

washingtonpost.com: True. '09 is at an event and '06 is a publicity shot. (I was in a rush, sue me...)

Liz Kelly: I may sue you, Paul. Watch yourself.


celebs who haven't just dumped/stepped out on their SO, but really went off the bleeding rails while doing so?: Eddie Fisher when he dumped Debbie Reynolds for Liz Taylor? Then a few years later Liz Taylor when she dumped Eddie Fisher for Richard Burton?

Liz Kelly: Yeah -- Carrie Fisher still hasn't gotten over that one.


Darboy (Wisc.) Chickenfest: Hi Liz- Last week, the missus and I went to the Darboy Chickenfest. The fact that Brooke Hogan was the headliner was too much irony to pass up.

Darboy, btw, is a former farm town that's been gobbled up by suburban developments. It's like 40 minutes south of Green Bay.

We expected Brooke to at least try (with the help of her AutoTune). Um. No.

She lip synched to an Invisible Orchestra while strutting around in her sequin number. Something was wrong with the first track and she got discombobulated.

Everyone was just there for the beer- anyway and didn't seem to notice. She lip-synched three more identical songs and scrammed, Diva-style, to her elegant white limo.

Beer was $7 a PITCHER!

Liz Kelly: Oh man, I wish I could see video of this.


Atlanta, GA: I would play ping pong, beer pong, Pong, read the book "Ping: the story about a Duck" while feeding him dim sum, if it was Jon Hamm. Sign me up!

Liz Kelly: I know ping and pong are perfectly legit words, but something about the idea of "playing ping pong with Jon Hamm" just sounds dirty.

Maybe it's just me.


Not Missing MJ: Showing my age, but I'm still torn up about Farrah. Not to get all Mark Sanford TMI-ish, but that poster helped get me through puberty.

Liz Kelly: Thanks for sharing. And that's not Sanford-ish at all. Unless you happen to have been president of your student council and disappeared to "go hiking" with your poster.


Pete Wentz: is so wrong about Val Kilmer in the Doors. He has definitely been stoned before. A lot. (And also, does a pretty dead-on Jim Morrison, so not lame.) Did he miss Val as the pot-selling Sherpa on "Entourage"? That may be my favorite episode of that show.

Liz Kelly: I know. Wentz is such a tool. If he knew anything he'd know that Kilmer took his portrayal of the Lizard King to an extreme and even creeped out co-star Meg Ryan (who so should not have been cast as Pamela Courson) because of his insistence on staying in character even when the cameras weren't rolling.


Jonas brothers: So which one is supposed to be the "cute one." I keep hearing people talking about the cute one, but naming him. I've seen photos of them and can't tell.

Liz Kelly: I don't know what the conventional wisdom is, but if you ask me Joe Jonas is the only cute one. The other two look like cheap Adrian Zmed knock-offs.

On that note, I'm out of here. Have a safe and relaxing holiday weekend. Be good. See you back here next week.


washingtonpost.com: Please join Jen and Liz for The 'Lost' Hour: Season 1 and 2 Review

Liz Kelly:


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