How to Deal Live

Surviving Your Workplace

Washington Post job expert Lily Garcia discussed workplace issues on Tuesday, July 14 at 11 a.m. ET.

The transcript follows.

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washingtonpost.com: We are facing some technical difficulties and Lily Garcia will be online shortly.

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Lily Garcia: Thank you for joining today's chat. I look forward to answering your career- and workplace-related questions. Let's begin.

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Washington, D.C.: I am the office manager in my organization, but some colleagues constantly refer to me as "our secretary" or "my secretary" in conversations with other colleagues or clients. I have tried to politely correct them but it doesn't work with some people.

After so many times, it upsets me. There is a wide range between what I do and what our actual office secretary does. I have nothing but respect for our secretary (it was my first job out of college), but I would just like to be called by my correct title.

Do you think there is anything else I can do to drive the point home, and do you think I am justified to feel put off by this?

Lily Garcia: You could ask for your supervisor or a few well-placed friends to assist you in politely correcting people when they refer to you by the incorrect title.

As to whether you are justified in feeling upset, that is not for me to judge. Clearly, what bothers you is that people are referring to you by a title that is of lower rank than the job you actually perform. I imagine that many other people in your situation would feel similarly irritated.

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Working World: Hi Lily. I recently moved into a new position and realized that it created a change in my work schedule from being very deadline driven (works well for me) to having basically no deadlines (very, very bad). I know I'm going to have to adjust, but, any tips on how to go about that? I'm also not sure how up front to be with my boss about the difficulty of this part of the transition and how much to just deal and if something falls apart, deal with it then. Thanks for any tips.

Lily Garcia: Before you present this to your boss as a problem, you should try setting deadlines for yourself. See if an internal deadline can motivate you as well as one that is externally imposed.

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washingtonpost.com: We are facing technical difficulties. Lily Garcia will be online shortly.

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Philadelphia, Pa.: Hi Lily, I graduated college four years ago. Is it still relevant or important to include Latin honors received at graduation on a resume?

Lily Garcia: Summa cum laude, etc., always remain relevant in my view.

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Baltimore, Md.: Hi Lily (Great name by the way, we just named our daughter Lily after my grandmother.) Can you tell me what employers really think about degrees from those big, online colleges, like University of Phoenix or Walden? I'm interested in finally getting my grad degree, more to beef up my resume and move jobs, not so much for internal promotion. It seems like online is a great way to go to school (did I mention the new baby) but do employers value it as much as a degree from a "real" school? Thanks.

Lily Garcia: I think that there is definite employer bias in favor of the big Ivy League names and such, but I am not sure that the opposite is true regarding lesser known or online institutions. I would be interested in knowing what some of our readers have experienced in this regard.

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Arlington, Va.: How to get a job while in college with no experience?

Lily Garcia: Be willing to intern without pay to get experience first. If you qualify, participate in your school's work-study program and reach out to your professors to see if they need assistance of any sort. If you need money, be open to taking less glamorous jobs that can help you to make ends meet (e.g., server, babysitter, etc.).

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Washington, D.C.: Hi Lily! I've been having trouble finding a job for well over a year now. I get interviews, and even call backs (and sometime even 3rd and 4th call backs!), but I don't get ANY job offers. I would guess that my resume and background are great - I'm told so at my interviews - otherwise, they wouldn't have called me. My best guess is that someone is bad mouthing me. Is there a service to check my past employees to see if anyone has something bad to say about me? I carefully choose my references and trust they give good recommendations. How do I find out if other info is getting out about me?

Lily Garcia: Why would you assume that your inability to get a job is due to a negative reference? Many, many people are in the same position as you -- i.e., getting multiple interviews, but no offers. Many others cannot even get prospective employers to acknowledge their application. What you are experiencing may just be a sign of the times.

Now, if you have burned bridges in your past employment, then you should specifically follow up with those people you may have crossed to try to mend fences in case they are contacted by a prospective employer of yours.

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Bethesda: How do you nudge a supervisor to stop micromanaging every bit of work and exactly how it must be done?

Lily Garcia: You are not going to be able to change your supervisor. You can only find ways to work with or around his or her micromanaging tendencies. One approach is to try to get ahead of your manager by getting your work done so quickly and effectively that there is little room left for comment. Another approach is to directly address your sense that your supervisor is perhaps looking a little too closely at your work. Explain how that makes you feel (demoralized is my guess) and ask whether there is anything that you could be doing to help boost his or her level of confidence in you. Your supervisor might be very well intentioned and might feel like he or she is just doing his or her job my scrutinizing you. Don't expect results overnight and be patient in managing this relationship.

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Herndon, Va.: My girlfriend has a law degree and works for a legal publisher. She left her old firm because she had no desire to work 12-16 hour days. But, her new job has her working the same number of hours 12-16, for 25% less pay. She wants to bring this up with her boss, but isn't sure how to tell them she doesn't want to work the hours, or wants to be compensated for it. It seems like it is a no-win situation for her. Any advice/ideas?

Lily Garcia: It does not sound like your girlfriend has been in her current job long enough to have earned the right to complain about hours. In every job, there is a ramping up period during which one can reasonably expect to work longer hours. As you become more seasoned, you learn to work more efficiently and usually find that you can get things done in a shorter amount of time. I would advise your girlfriend to give the job a good six months. If she still finds that she is working an inordinate number of hours, she should speak with her supervisor about how she could structure her workload to accomplish what she needs to accomplish within a shorter period of time.

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Stifled in Shaw: Thanks for the chats, Lily. I respect and admire my boss, and the feeling appears to be mutual -- so mutual, in fact, that he's blocked several opportunities for me to move out of his department and into one where I can grow and where my job would be more secure. The argument has been "this department needs you in it," but others have come and gone in the time I've been here. (One other department manager in particular has expressed a desire to have me, but my boss holds sway over this person, too, and has forced him to back off for "the time being." But who knows how long that will be?) I enjoy being appreciated, but is there anything I can do to assert myself here without stepping on toes?

Lily Garcia: You need to let your boss know that, if he does not allow you the opportunity to transition into another role, then you will leave the organization altogether. There might be no diplomatic way of doing this, but that is the unequivocal message that you need to send. Otherwise, I doubt that your boss will ever loosen his death grip.

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Georgetown: Hi Lily,

Thanks for taking my question. I manage a small team, and for several months now, one member has been underperforming. He's been given extra training, warnings etc, but it is pretty clear that he just needs to go. Everything is documented, and my boss says that the call to terminate this person is mine. I've never fired anyone before. How do I work up the nerve to make the call and set things in motion? I know he needs to go but I can't bring myself to do it.

Thank you.

Lily Garcia: You need to realize that you are not doing this person any favors by allowing him to languish in a role that is a bad fit. If he is failing as miserably as you say he is, then the chances are good that he knows it, too. Now what you need to have is a respectful conversation in which you and he acknowledge the elephant in the room and talk about an appropriate plan for transitioning him out of the organization. If you believe that you can trust this employee and it will not otherwise be a liability to the organization, consider giving him a couple of weeks of notice that his employment is terminating. This will allow him to exit gracefully. If you don't feel comfortable giving him a positive letter of reference, you can offer to provide a neutral reference (confirmation of title and dates of employment only) to prospective employers so that his chances for re-employment are not hampered in any way.

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For the office manager: You might make more headway in enlisting support for others to correct those who call you the secretary if you phrase it some way that indicates that those who do so are slighting the secretary, not you. For instance, "Actually, our secretary is the wonderful and efficient Peggy; I'm the office manager."

Lily Garcia: Great advice. Thanks.

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Repeat Column?: Is this another cost-cutting measure? Your July 5 column was essentially the same as one that ran in June. :-(

Lily Garcia: I am regularly "reverse-published" in the print edition of the paper with a one-week delay. This is why you saw the online article in print.

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Oakton, Va.: My partner's mother recently passed and the company I worked for allowed me bereavement leave though he and I are not spouses (illegal for gay men to marry you know). This acknowledgement of our relationship and non-traditional family was greatly appreciated. I sent a thank-you note to my boss, but is there any other way I can get my company recognized for this?

Lily Garcia: You could apply to have your company considered for Washingtonian Magazine's "Great Places to Work" award. Here is a link: http://www.washingtonian.com/articles/businesscareers/5262.html

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New York, N.Y.: Hi Lily. I'm really upset. Last year, I interviewed with a company and did not get the job. I did my research in the company directory, and it turns out that they hired an internal candidate instead. They sent me some vague response (after a couple of follow up emails), which never really said one way other other what they did exactly. But I know what happened because I always like to research, if I can, who got the job over me. This year, I got my hopes up when they called me for an interview again. They didn't remember me, but later on I found out that there's yet ANOTHER internal candidate up for consideration. GAH! I'm sure I have no chance. Why do companies do this? I feel like such an idiot. I understand that have some sort of legal obligation to fulfill, but if the end result is the same why even bother? It seems like companies, and the federal government for that matter, are going to game the system and default hire internal candidates anyway. Why not just go with thinly-veiled favoritism from the start? My question to you is what can I do in the future? I suppose I could just not go at all. Can I bring such an issue up in the interview by saying something like, "I'm sure you have an internal candidate in mind but here's why I'm qualified."? Will this put them off? My time is very important to me, and I just don't want to waste it on interviews like this.

Lily Garcia: There is generally not a legal obligation for employers to advertise their vacant positions to the general public. The legal obligation is to hire people without regard to protected characteristics (such as race, sex, etc.). To the extent that employers do conduct broad external searches, they can usually make a better case that they did not display illegal bias in the process. This is the reason why some organizations, as a matter of policy, post every position externally.

However, this is not always the case. If it makes you feel any better, I have been involved recruiting for many positions for which the internal candidate was most definitely not the top choice. In fact, this is why the process was opened up to external contenders.

So, when you know that an internal candidate is under consideration for the job you are seeking, I would caution you not to go into the interview assuming that it is a lost cause. I also think that it would be inappropriate for you to point out the fact that you know that internal candidates are under consideration. All that you can and should do is put your frustrations aside and do the best job that you can of selling your skills and experience.

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Syracuse, N.Y.: An Associate Academic Dean of Enrollment recently ordered the admissions department that no one was allowed to take vacation in the month of August. There are two unions involved in this department and there is nothing in either handbook stating there are no vacations in August. Is the Dean allowed to do this and if not should a grievance be filed with their unions?

Thank you.

Lily Garcia: The union is there precisely to advocate for you in these types of situations. Before you file a grievance, however, I would suggest checking with your union representative to see whether he or she believes that the dean has done anything that would violate the collective bargaining agreement.

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Pittsburgh, Pa.: For the woman who can't deal without a deadline, you should absolutely deal with this problem yourself. It's a personal issue, and not something the boss should have to be involved in. Getting your work done is your responsibility. If I were your boss, and you came to me with this problem, I would seriously start to doubt your abilities.

Lily Garcia: Thank you for sharing your perspective.

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Re listing Latin honors received at graduation on a resume: I once encountered a resume of someone who listed Latin honors for his two post-graduate degrees (as well as for his Bachelor's degree). When confronted with the fact that Latin honors not granted beyond the Baccalaureate level, his alibi was that while this was true, he had listed the ones that corresponded with his grade point averages for his coursework for each those degrees. What a jerk.

Lily Garcia: Do keep the information in your resume truthful!

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HR Pro here: The University of Phoenix has the reputation (not saying it's deserved, just saying what I know) of being nothing but a diploma mill. It is not highly viewed in my field.

Lily Garcia: Thank you for sharing your views.

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Washington, D.C.: Dear Lily, I would like to join Face book, but I have some concerns. I am a part-time law student who will graduate in December 2010, and I am beginning my job search this summer. I am 30 years old -- older than most recent law school grads -- female, Caucasian, recently married, and without children... yet. Granted, employers will likely be able to deduce my age from the graduation dates on my resume, but I'm reluctant to hide certain things on Face book. These include my interracial marriage (my husband is also on Face book), my race (which can be assumed from photos), and my appearance (again, from photos). I would never post compromising photos on my profile, but what about those other fundamental pieces of personal life that employers would never be able to ask about on a job application or in an interview? I haven't been able to find any information that addresses these concerns. Could you please advise me?

Lily Garcia: Many hiring managers Google the names of job applicants and they do take what they find into consideration. Of course it would be inappropriate for a prospective employer to take your age or your interracial marriage into account in deciding whether to hire you. If you are uncomfortable sharing this information, however, either make sure that you apply appropriate privacy settings to your Face book profile, limit what you post, or stay off of Face book altogether. LinkedIn is a good online professional networking alternative for people who are less comfortable divulging personal details.

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Lily Garcia: Unfortunately, we are out of time. If I was unable to get to your question today, please feel free to email me at hradvice@washingtonpost.com.

Thank you, as always, for your thoughtful participation. I look forward to our next conversation at 11:00 a.m. on Tuesday, July 28th.

Lily

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Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.