OnLove: TheKnot.Com Advice for Weddings on a Budget

Get Tips on How to Budget for Your Wedding and More

Are you footing the bill for your big day? Get tips on planning your wedding without going broke.

Rebecca Dolgin is the executive editor of TheKnot.com. Prior to joining The Knot, she was the executive editor of Life and Style magazine, and was also the beauty and fashion director for All You magazine.

She took your questions and comments, and discussed how to plan your wedding without going into debt.

For more advice and to see how other couples said "I do," visit our new Weddings: OnLove section.

The discussion follows.

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Northern Va.: Is it ok to skip favors for the guests? My view is nobody cares about them anyway and they just add cost.

Rebecca Dolgin: Of course, a favor isn't a must. A great way to minimize costs is doing one per couple. I love the idea of a DIY favor too, such as homemade cookies from a family recipe.

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Washington, D.C.: My fiancee is not supportive of the 'wedding machine' that seems to consume the wedding planning process, and would prefer to do a more casual, laidback wedding (the idea of too much organized 'eat now,' 'dance now,' etc. gives him heartburn). Do you have any suggestions about how to do something like that? And what kind of venue to target? Everything we have looked at feels incredibly formal... it seems hard to break the mold! Thanks!

Rebecca Dolgin: You don't have to have a huge formal event to have a great time. One fun idea is to do a champagne toast and dessert bar after a simple (short) ceremony. City Hall weddings are even a huge trend right now. Another option is to do a mid-afternoon brunch. It's more casual, but you can still include all of the wedding details like favors, cake and signature drinks.

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Washington, D.C.: How can you save on the dress?

Rebecca Dolgin: March and November are great times to go dress shopping. It's when most shops are turning over their inventory to make room for the next season's collection--you can save as much as 75%! You really don't have to spend a fortune on the dress to get something you'll love. In fact, check out our slideshow of dresses under $500. We even put a dress on our latest cover that's under $2000. (See page 91--one of my favorite dresses is just $300!)

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Arlington, Va.: My sister-in-law wants to use an ipod to provide wedding music. Thoughts?

Rebecca Dolgin: Although it may seem really easy to use the Ipod, the sound may not be great. There are tons of great DJ's out there--and this may be a better option. You won't have to worry about set up or manning the Ipod and making sure everything works.

Besides, it's nice to have someone, like a DJ, who can work the crowd and keep the day on track.

An Ipod may be a fine option for the cocktail hour, but not the recpetion.

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San Diego, Calif.: Re: the Favor question: I just had my wedding in April, my budget was only $15K for 100 people in San Diego. In lieu of favors, we did a donation to a non-profit organization. It cost less than favors, and it was in honor of all my guests. I received a lot of positive comments about it from guests.

Rebecca Dolgin: That's a great idea! We just launched charity favors in our online store, The KnotShop.com. It's so easy because you can make the donation right there, then you can choose from several cool cards that you can personalize so your guests know that you made the contribution.

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Falls Church, Va.: Getting married in September. Right now the big bill we are looking at is for rental of plates, glasses and flatware. Any hints on cutting costs there? We're having about 70 guests.

Rebecca Dolgin: Stick to the basic linens and plates and let your flowers and centerpieces steal the show. Keep costs down by going with more candles.

One clever idea we heard about from a fellow Knottie is to have all four sets of grandparents (and parents) lend you their fine china. It gives a personal, pretty mismatched look; and is a great conversation starter.

Be sure to dress up the table with paper products: the menu card and table number can really make a big statement even if the plates are plain.

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Capitol Hill, D.C.: Hi, Rebecca. I am about to pop the question to my long-time girlfriend. I have no idea where to start looking for an engagement ring under a relatively tight budget. Someone recommended I go online (e.g., bluenile.com) to buy the diamond sales tax-free and then go to a jeweler for the setting. Another friend told me they "have a guy" from whom I can buy a diamond. Do you have any recommendations on how I can save a little bit of dough on a diamond engagement ring. I know it is going to hurt my wallet regardless, but any tips you have would be appreciated.

Thanks!

Rebecca Dolgin: How exciting! Go to a variety of stores to figure out what style ring you want to buy. It will also give you a good idea of what you'll be able to find for how much you're planning to spend.

A local jeweler is usually the best way to go--they'll work with you, you might be able to get a better price.

Good luck!

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Washington, D.C.: How do you be a bridesmaid without going broke? I'm particularly concerned about the bachelorette party. It seems like it used to just be okay to go out a party the night before the rehearsal dinner, but now everyone wants a full-on long weekend destination "event" bachelorette party. Thoughts?

Rebecca Dolgin: Don't worry, as long as you're upfront with the other bridesmaids and the bride about your financial concerns--and still remain involved in the planning process--it's okay to bow out of the bachelorette party weekend. Be sure you attend the other events you can make it to.

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Centerpieces: For an anniversary party, not wedding. Where can I buy inexpensive vases for centerpieces? It's an outdoor party and I'd like to keep the tables simple & clean with a small vase of daisies on each. The tableclothes will be yellow. Is there anything else (easy & inexpensive) that I could add to make it look more professionally done?

Rebecca Dolgin: Check out our Trash to Treasure message board on TheKnot.com. Recent brides post everything from vases to lanterns, linens and more!

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Philadelphia, Pa.: I'm all for the "less is more" approach to my wedding, but I'm having trouble figuring out what to cut out. What can I axe in order to save money? The cake? The centerpieces? I want my wedding to be high-quality and classy without being over-the-top.

Rebecca Dolgin: The biggest way to save is to cut the guest list down. It effects every wedding cost--food, tables, flowers. Another big way to save is to go with in season blooms. We've even recently featured carnations--when they're tightly bound, the resemble roses.

Another trick: Cut down the number of players in your band--or opt for a DJ.

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Springfield, Va.: Hello. I'm planning a dinner reception for 200+ people. Some of the hotel banquet rooms I've been going to want to charge over $50 per plate! That will definitley add up. Any thoughts on how I can cut the cost of dinner?

Rebecca Dolgin: YOu can cut down on the number of courses. Go with a salad, skip the app. Then, have the entree and use your cake as dessert.

Also, only allow white wine and red wine for drinks. Skipping the hard alcohol can actually save you a bundle.

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Harrisonburg, Va.: Do you have tips on buying a wedding dress online? Where I live, there aren't many options for buying a dress in a shop and I have seen some things I like online for good prices... but it's hard to tell how risky it is and how hard it will be to get alterations, pressing, etc.

Rebecca Dolgin: Although hunting online is a great way to do research, we don't recommend buying it online. It's better to try the dress on in person so you can really see how it looks. TheKnot.com offers a gown finder tool searchable by proce, silhouette and designer--it's a great place to start, and you can see which stores in your area carry the designers you like.

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Columbia: What are some of the coolest innovations you've seen as ways to have a great event without spending much?

Rebecca Dolgin: We've seen so many great ideas lately. Check out our $10K wedding section. We've asked wedding planners from all over the country to come up with creative wedding ideas for under $10,000.

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Bethesda, Md.: Hi Rebecca! My fiance and I are looking for wedding bands. We'd like to browse through the stores to try them on, but some places are very overpriced! Any suggestions for finding affordable wedding bands? Thanks for your help.

Rebecca Dolgin: Wedding bands can add up. Look into white gold instead of platinum. Classic, simple bands are really making a comeback now too.

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Washington, D.C.: I'm throwing a shower for my friend a week before her wedding, and want to keep it on a low budget (since we'll all be spending a lot of money for the wedding itself and bachelorette party, which is also that week). I'm having friends help out with food, decorations, etc, but what are some good favor ideas that won't break the bank? There will probably be about 15 women at the shower, both family and friends.

Rebecca Dolgin: We love food favors--they're versatile, you have hundreds of options from cupcakes and cookies to mixed drinks or even mini jams.

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Washington, D.C.: My fiance and I are definite foodies and although want to have the traditional ceremnoy and reception - are not liking the menus we've seen at many of the venues. I've read that asking to bring in your own food for the reception can cost a lot, that is of course if they allow it altogether. We expect no more than 40 guests, so is this something we can still do on a budget at a nice reception -- without having to rent out a restaurant? Any other suggestions?

Rebecca Dolgin: Try working backwards here--rather than looking at venues first, make a list of your top caterers. Once you find one or two you love, ask them which venues they work with.

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Big or small weddings: Hi, Rebecca. I'm helping my friend plan her wedding in N.Y. She wants the whole nine-yards. It's her day so she should have what she wants, even though it might be viewed as insensitive given the state of the economy. Can you do small weddings and still have them be extraordinary or is big really the way to go?

Thanks

Rebecca Dolgin: Of course, you can do something small and still have it be extraordinary. In fact, New York, is a perfect place to do a small, but gorgeous wedding. There are so many intimate venues to pick from--museums, galleries, loft spaces, gardens. One of my favorite places right now is the New Museum. It's modern, eclectic--has a great view--and is perfect for smaller parties.

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Atlanta, Ga.: My fiancee and I are getting married in October. We both wanted a larger wedding where we can invite all of our friends and family (between 300 and 350 have been invited), but given the adverse economic conditions, we and our parents can't afford to have a "nice" and large wedding. As a result, we are having our wedding at a still-lovely summer camp in north Georgia.

The most important cutback we've had to make is on food. Given that we are inviting so many people, even a slight increase in the $-per-person makes a huge impact, and we have had to keep prices very low. I don't anticipate that food will necessarily be bad, but it won't feel great. Unfortunately, I keep feeling guilty about this. That I should somehow tell my friends and guests not to expect the greatest food in the world, that I should lower their expectations. Thus far, I have tried to ignore these voices in my head. Is this the right approach?

Similarly, I feel guilty about the accomodations. All of our friends will be asked to stay in camp cabins (nice cabins, but bunkbeds nonetheless), to the tune of $50 a night. I keep thinking that this is too expensive, that I should at least send out a disclaimer to all my friends, explaining the rationale behind our decisions. Again, I've decided to ignore these feelings -- is that the right call?

Rebecca Dolgin: I'd just add that info to my wedding website and then maybe have your bridesmaids spread the word. $50 is not too much to ask people to spend, but you don't want it to be a surprise.

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