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Celebritology Live: 2009 Lizzies, RIP Les Paul, Mad Men Anticipation
You've Been Served... a Heaping Plate of Gossip

Liz Kelly
washingtonpost.com Celebritology Blogger
Thursday, August 13, 2009 2:00 PM

Join Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

Celebritology Live Archive

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Liz Kelly: Afternoon. Tomorrow in the blog I'll ask you to submit category ideas for this year's Celebritology Honors (aka The Lizzies). In past years we've tracked "Biggest Trainwreck," "Datingest Celeb," "Must-Read Celebrity Blogger," "Scariest Celebrity Family" and more. I'm pretty sure Twitter is going to figure in the mix somehow, but am looking to you for inspiration on the rest of the categories. So feel free to start submitting now. The bringer of the best category idea during today's chat will win a vintage copy of the book "It's Pat: My Life Exposed" -- an official SNL book released to build on the popularity of Julia Sweeney's androgynous Pat character.

I can't link directly to the masterpiece that is Heidi and Spencer Pratt's interview in September's Playboy, but strongly urge you to make your way there via some other avenue to read about Heidi's claims of extreme sexual satisfaction, her plans for future plastic surgery and why she didn't mention the Playboy gig to her dad.

Okay, let's get started -- and keep those categories coming...

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Cleveland Park NW: This came out a month ago, but is especially timely given Hughes' passing and memorial:

The Ups And Downs Of Having A John Hughes Boyfriend (jezebel.com)

Did guys in the '80s really wear linen suits (esp. white ones!) to high school? Or was that just a James Spader thing in "Pretty in Pink"?

Liz Kelly: Not my high school. They would've been beat down. And I went to high school right here in Arlington, Va., so I don't think we were too out of touch.

Thanks for the link. I'll add this one, to an essay written by a D.C. lawyer and former White House speechwriter who thinks he may have been the inspiration for Ferris Bueller.

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Arlington, Va.: Jennifer Anniston a microsurgeon? Isn't that kind of like Dick Cheney as a circus clown?

Liz Kelly: Let's see.

Jennifer Aniston is to microsurgery and Dick Cheney is to hunting.

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Arlington, Va.: Welcome back Liz! And thanks for pulling me away from the Cheney chat -- too many bad memories!

Liz Kelly: Thanks and happy to oblige, though as you probably just noticed not even Celebritology is safe from Dick.

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the fate of entertainment weekly: Is EW's fate linked to Twilight? It seems like they run a different cover about that franchise every 3 weeks!?!?

This week's cover: 'New Moon' and our Fall Movie Preview

Liz Kelly: "Twilight" is to EW as Jon & Kate are to Us Weekly.

Is this annoying anyone yet?

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Category: Celeb whose kids' tell-all you most want to read.

Liz Kelly: I think that's a no brainer for me: Francis Bean Cobain. Tho I should add that her book would only be the first of many of that genre in my library.

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Categories: How about Most Auto-Snarky(iest) and Least Aware of Self-Irony?

Liz Kelly: I like Least Aware of Self-Irony.

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Arlington, VA: As a 1981 graduate of New Trier, located north of Chicago (Ferris Bueller territory), not once did I see any guy where white linens to school...

Liz Kelly: I also didn't have any guys in my high school that looked like James Spader or Michael Schoeffling. They were like, you know... men.

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The Lizzies: How about something along the lines of Best Fake Romance (Best Wrong Romance Rumor?)? Nominees could include noncouples such as Bradley Cooper & Jennifer Aniston, Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart (though that one may be real)...

Liz Kelly: Ooh -- I like that. Something like Best Fabricated Romance.

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Nosy Parker: RIP Les Paul, genius of the electric guitar and pioneer in overdubbing.

Could Producer Paul locate and post the link to Les's (beer, possibly Coors?) commercial from a few years ago, where a younger man is playing a Les Paul guitar, then Les (whom the younger man doesn't recognize) shows him how it's really done?!?

washingtonpost.com: Les Paul (the legend!) in cool "Coors" beer comercial

Liz Kelly: Ask and ye shall receive.

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ishkabibble: I loved your "what the celebrities are tweeting" post - and it looks like someone has turned the same concept into a channel on youtube.

I dig the idea, but his humor ranges from fantastic to cringe-worthy. As a veteran Celebritologist, what is your opinion of this recent venture in the field?

Liz Kelly: I'm glad you asked because here at Celebritology HQ we're just putting the finishing touches on our own video pilot inspired by the surreal world of celebrity Tweets. It's a bit different from what the Tweetboxx folks have done. We don't offer commentary, but rather let the celebs speak for themselves. Turns out that is plenty entertaining. Should be up sometime in the next week. Watch for it...

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Shia Swooners: Alas, this young man makes me think of a half-baked muffin with some unidentifiable crunchy bits sprinkled within.

Liz Kelly: That's an interesting take. You must be a foodie.

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Boulder, CO: I'd like a category along the lines of "Celebrity We'd Most Like to See GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK"

Liz Kelly: I think we've covered that in past years, but we may have to revisit. Since things don't change that much from year to year I want to avoid having the same winners every single year.

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Burke, VA: Liz:

Heading down to Isle of Palms, SC, tomorrow, right NEXT to Sullivan's Island, where (ta-daaaaa) Jenny Sanford is now in self-imposed exile from the Luv Guv.

Any Jenny Sanford sightings in the local restaurants and pubs, we'll report back ASAP!

Do we get bonus points for actual (polite) contact?

Liz Kelly: Sure, if a hearty "thank you" here in the chat qualifies as bonus points. Don't ruin your vacation celeb-stalking, though.

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John Quade Died: WHO ?

Click on link to AP Obit.

Doesn't Help Much.

Google Images John Quade.

Oh, that guy !

Liz Kelly: Oh, that guy!

He's been around a long time. Looks like he has been steadily working since the "Gunsmoke" days. And that's not actually the easiest thing to do for a character actor. He'll be missed.

Think he'll show up in the "Those We Lost" Oscar montage next year?

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Washington DC: Do you watch True Blood? Does the actor who plays Bill ever turn up in the tabloids? I'm a little sweet on him.

Liz Kelly: Ahhh, you're a Vampire Bill girl (or boy), eh?

Stephen Moyer actually engaged to on-screen love interest Anna Paquin (who plays Sookie Stackhouse). So if you were wondering why their love scenes seemed particularly intense, now you know.

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John Ha, MM: I watched Seasons 1 and 2 of Mad Men this summer and totally get the obsession. I wish I were still a teenager and could put a poster of John Hamm on my wall...I think it would just be creepy and sad at 31. He is a perfect specimen. Can't wait till Sunday's premier!

washingtonpost.com: Best scene ever: Mad Men: The Carousel

Liz Kelly: This is what computer wallpaper is for. Most of the time it's covered up by other windows, but when you need it Jon will be there peeking back at you.

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Abbie Cornish - Bad Idea Jeans spokesmodel?: So Abbie Cornish is about to break into the art-houses and Oscar race as the lead in the lushly romantic "Bright Star," and she has been named as one of the reasons Reese Witherspoon's marriage broke up. America loves Witherspoon, why on earth would she bring up her role in the affair with Phillippe in the press launch? It strikes me as a bad idea - no one will ever feel sorry for her, it just reminds them that Witherspoon was cheated on.

Abbie Cornish Discusses Early Romance with Ryan Phillippe

washingtonpost.com: Kudos for the Bad Idea Jeans reference, but does America really love Reese Witherspoon?

Liz Kelly: Maybe for the same reason we can't seem to ever be shot of the Jen-Brad-Angelina triangle story -- because it builds buzz around projects.

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Spawn: Celebrity least likely to have an unplanned pregnancy in the coming year (must be a living celebrity).

Liz Kelly: Okay, that's interesting.

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Odds/Examples of an on-set couple marriage lasting: Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are super cute on and off "True Blood" - for their sake and that of the show, I hope they make a lasting union. But...when I started to think about Hollywood marriages in general and on-set marriages in particular the odds lowered: For on-set marriages that have lasted I came up with Connelly and Bettany ("Beautiful Mind"), Garner and Affleck ("Daredevil"), Newman and Woodward ("Long, Hot, Summer") Ed Harris and Amy Madigan ("Places In the Heart"). Can you or the chat gang come up with any others?

washingtonpost.com: Warren Beatty-Annette Benning in "Bugsy."

Liz Kelly: Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton ("Cleopatra" among other things).

For non-wedded relationships, I'm thinking Meg Ryan and Russell Crowe ("Proof of Life"). That didn't turn out so well.

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Not News: This is getting old, Liz. Aren't you embarrassed about giving out false information? Just because you quoted another source does not make it okay.

Liz Kelly: Nope, not at all. The Timberlake purchase report appeared in Wednesday's Rumor Mill section of the blog -- a section of the blog where we know that there's a possibility that some of the stories may not be credible.

Why include a Rumor Mill at all? Some of the stories are just downright funny, some are often the first sparks of stories that later move up into the confirmed realm of Headlines and others are notable only for their idiocy.

Bottom line, if something out there is being buzzed about I don't want you to miss out on it. Rumor Mill allows me to include some items that wouldn't usually pass muster for the blog. They are to be taken with a grain of salt and, yes, they sometimes turn out to be bogus.

Sosumi.

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James Spader/Chuck Bass highschoolers: Much like that annoying PC kid on Bravo's "NYC Prep" I think characters who wear suits in high school are shorthand messages to the audience that the guy is 1) growing up too fast, 2) a massive tool who cares too much about fashion, 3) will be a mean/blase jerk to any girl who crosses his path.

Liz Kelly: That guy is out of control annoying.

Duckie Dale wore suits to school in "Pretty in Pink." They weren't linen, but they were technically suits. He wasn't a jerk or a tool.

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Category:: This is sorta snarky, but... "Celebrity most deluded about how attractive they are." Your quick mention of Heidi made me think of this...

Liz Kelly: Hmm, I think that would be a hard one.

What about worst plastic surgery?

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Inquiring Minds: "Dumbest Career Move"

Joaquin Phoenix's rap career comes to mind.

Liz Kelly: Ooh, that's a v. good one.

And I have been checking from time to time -- Joaquin is way underground right now. No mentions, no sightings, no nothing in months.

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Lizzies suggesti,ON: At risk of being crass, "best outfit worn to Michael Jackson's funeral." So many to choose from: Mariah, the Jackson brothers, Joe Jackson, Corey Feldman.

Liz Kelly: I think that one missed its window of opportunity.

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I got one!: Cutest celebrity baby! And you'd have to post photos for us to coo at before voting. Please find us a photo of Jennifer Hudson's baby, I bet he is adorable.

Liz Kelly: We did that a few years back. I think Suri Cruise won if I remember correctly.

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Lizzies category proposal: Most controversial jeans: President Obama (mom), Jessy Simp (high water waisted), etc.

Least real reality show - The Real World (snort), anything with Gosselins in it (snort snort)...

Liz Kelly: Nice.

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Lizzie Awards: "Scariest Celebrity Arms": Madonna, Carrot Top and . . . Oh, who am I kidding? Madonna in a landslide.

Liz Kelly: Scariest celebrity body part, maybe?

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Dorkus: Given recent events, for the Lizzies, how about a category about the children of celebrities and their altercations with the law? Worst celebrity offspring offender, perhaps?

Liz Kelly: That is a good one. We did best celebrity mugshot for the inaugural Lizzies, but this is a nice spin.

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Thank you!: A few weeks ago, I wrote and said I was bored with my netflix queue and asked for suggestions. I re-tried "Mad Men" on your suggestion (I saw the first episodes before and didn't like it). Anyway, my husband and I are hooked and have 5 more episodes to watch before Sunday's premier.

(Second season much less nauseating than the first. Sterling with the Twins episode is the epitome of Ick Nast)

Liz Kelly: So excited about "Mad Men." I'm thinking that "True Blood" and "Mad Men" both in one evening may cause me to spontaneously combust.

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The Lizzies: How about Best Celebrity Self-Parody/Satire Video (think of a better name, though, please!). I'm thinking any number of Funny or Die clips, YouTube vids, etc. could be nominees.

Liz Kelly: This was a big year for those, especially with the election. I like the idea of including videos.

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Rick Pitino: I realize you don't usually deal in sports celebrities, but just had to say "Ick. Nast." to Un. of Kentucky Coach Pitino and his "indiscretion."

Liz Kelly: Please to explain.

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More Lizzies suggestions: How about teaming up two celebs that have the opposite problem: Like Kelly Clarkson & Tori Spelling for weight issues, Drew Barrymore & Victoria Beckham for wardrobe malfunction & function, etc.

Liz Kelly: Hmm, I'm trying to think how that would work.

What about a video category where I ask you to submit 30 second videos of celebrity impressions?

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Ohio: Biggest Freak Out on a Reality Show

Real Housewives of NJ? Stephen Baldwin?

Liz Kelly: Spencer Pratt? Tho his was so obviously manufactured.

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washingtonpost.com: Would Jude Law's sperm be eligible for "scariest celebrity body part"?

washingtonpost.com: Would Jude Law's sperm be eligible for "scariest celebrity body part"?

Liz Kelly: I'm thinking no since it isn't really attached.

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Pretty In Pink: Pretty In Pink is one of my favorite movies (terriffic soundtrack and Andrew McCarthy!) but aside from Molly Ringwald and Jon Cryer everyone looked about 35.

I mean really, James Spader and Andrew McCarthy? In high school? In the '80s??

Liz Kelly: Yeah, but there's a long tradition of popping fullly grown adults (with wrinkles even) into teen roles. I mean look at Olivia Newton-John, John Travolta and Stockard Channing in "Grease." And Gabrielle Carteris on the original "90210" -- she was practically menopausal.

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Ohio: Maybe I'm just jealous....no, no maybe. I am jealous. Why does Ann Curry always get to interview Brad Pitt? If I were Meredith Viera, I would be ticked!

Liz Kelly: Oh no -- did I miss a new Anne Curry Brad moment?!

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Stepping out on the Side Cover-up: a la a certain politician and "hiking the Appalachian Trail"

Liz Kelly: I think that might be more of a political category.

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Rockville, Md.: I saw a commercial the other day for a Jon & Kate full season DVD set. Is there a possibility that someone would actually buy AND watch this?

Liz Kelly: Let's ask for a show of hands. Anyone out there willing to buy and watch a "Jon and Kate" DVD set?

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Gossel, IN: According to the cover of that well-know publication of record, "In Touch," Jon Gosselin is tired of being blamed, presumably for the J&K+8 breakup. Maybe if he'd stop (expletive deleted) women half his age, he'd get more sympathy.

Liz Kelly: I gotta tell you, I don't have much sympathy for either of them. Neither of them come off as particularly sympathetic characters. She's controlling and ill-tempered and he seems to have forgotten he has eight children as he Ed Hardy's his way through some kind of Courtney Love phase.

The best thing that could happen to these people is for that show to be canceled.

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J&K DVD: Is that one set, or two?

Liz Kelly: I believe it includes eight DVDs.

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The Lizzies: How about celebrities we wish would do a project together? And another for celebrities we're tired of seeing together?

Liz Kelly: Sounds more like a Friday list, but I like that idea v. much.

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washingtonpost.com: I thought his answer about running for mayor was pretty clever.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Liz Kelly: Ick nast.

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Rick Pitino's "indiscretion": Basketball head coach, age 56, University of Louisville, married with five kids. Six years ago had a one-night stand (or commited rape, according to the woman) consummated at a restaurant after hours, then when the woman contacted him two weeks later to report she was pregnant by him, she demanded $3,000 for "health insurance" (read: abortion), which he supplied despite being such a devout Catholic that he often has a priest traveling with him as a spiritual advisor. This past April word came out that someone was being investigated for attempted extortion of a large amount of money from Pitino, allegedly the woman in this case.

Liz Kelly: Ahhh. Thanks.

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Celebritology Award - "Ick. Nast": "Best quote that turns into a phrase in our cultural lexicon" (It should be called the "Carm Down Fatty" Award)

Clearly "Ick. Nast." is the one to beat.

Liz Kelly: Hmm, that could work, but I think they would have to have been coined by celebrities.

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Washington, DC: Hello Liz. I think it is time that you harness the power of the Post and put the Tom Cruise-has-a-house-on-the-Outer Banks rumor to rest. I traveled to the Outer Banks a lot as a kid. Around 15 years ago when I was in high school, a local car service picked me up in Norfolk airport for the ride to Nags Head. On the ride, the woman driving the car told me that she had also picked up Tom Cruise from the airport previously, and that he an Nicole had a house near Duck. My parents used to live there for part of the off-season, and also heard those rumors. Do you think you could put in a call to Tom's "people" and find out the truth? It would be fun!

I would also like to note the following: (1) I was also at the Outer Banks last week - looks like you were there at the same time! Wasn't the water cold?; and (2) I love the song "Brandy," and you are the only other person I am aware of who shares my feelings for that song.

Liz Kelly: Ya know, that one is resting pretty comfortably with me. The fact that no one can actually place Tom Cruise in the Outer Banks at any time in the last 10 years is telling. It may be possible that some kind of Cruise-related holding company owns investment property there, but if so it's clearly not meant for personal visits from his Tom-ness.

Here's the piece I did on the subject earlier this week: Vacation Tall Tales: TomKat on OBX?

As for "Brandy," it's kind of odd that you should mention that song because Mr. Liz and I actually caught it on the radio while cruising back to the beach house from mini-golf one evening.

Did you know Brandy wears a braided chain made of finest silver from the north of Spain?

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Jackson and Andy: I just pulled a tissue out and a huge cat fluff ball was nestled inside it. I think my cat Jackson may be smarter than me. He looks like Andy. Can we have our weekly picture?

Liz Kelly: It's not the best picture ever, but here's one of Andy helping me work on Monday.

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"True Blood" and "Mad Men" both in one evening may cause me to spontaneously combust: I too am a little unreasonably excited about the next 4 Sundays - that's a lot of top-quality eye candy and juicy story lines packed into 120 minutes!

Liz Kelly: It is a fantasy line-up, but I hope I don't start mixing up my story lines... like thinking Don Draper's a vampire or that Sal Romano should be dating Lafayette.

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Seattle, WA: How obvious can that Kardashian girl who is pregnant get? The E! channel is all over Kendra's pregnancy and so now this chick sees that pregnancy is a good reality show gimmick. So she decides that forgetting to take her pill might work for her too. Who are these people?

Liz Kelly: I dunno. I think maybe the pregnancy was, as Kourtney said, unplanned -- but she's making lemonade here, dude -- why waste a perfectly good nine-months of bump pictures? One critique: She should've amped the anxiety angle and left us wondering for a while.

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And a locket, that bears the name of the man that Brandy loves: Darn you Liz - that song will be in my head for the rest of the day!

Liz Kelly: You're welcome.

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Lizzies suggestion: How about a positive/non-snarky/uplifing category: Celeb with greatest image rehab potential or accomplishment: Lilo (well..maybe not), Jaylo (yeah..she has made a comeback with motherhood & seemingly stable marriage to Skeletor), Jen Anniston (it's mid August already and she has not yet dated John Mayer again this month..)..

washingtonpost.com: Calling Marc Anthony "Skeletor" never fails to amuse me...

Liz Kelly: We usually do Biggest Turnaround -- Britney Spears won last year, I believe.

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Lizzie category: Best overseas adoption by a celebrity?

Liz Kelly: Heh.

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If Warren Beatty can be tamed anything is possible.: I forgot about Beatty! He was the player of his day for two decades! I guess his lesson is "don't settle down until you are ready."

washingtonpost.com: You forget the part about "with a smoking-hot Oscar nominee."

Liz Kelly: Simmer down, Paul. Go get an iced tea and clear your head.

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Liz Kelly: Speaking of Paul, a round of applause for his fab Celebritology guest post last week. Anyone who can work Arm Fall Off Boy into a blog about celebrities deserves some kind of award. Maybe I have an extra "It's Pat" book around here somewhere.

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Boston, MA: Liz: Angelina at the Inglorious Basterds premiere in the tight black leather dress--awesome hot or trashy? Or am I just jealous that she has 6 kids, been pregnant 3 times, is in her 30s and still looks awesome?

washingtonpost.com: Yowza! Angelina Jolie

Liz Kelly: Awesomely hot. Angie has this amazing ability to look dangerous yet still completely high fashion. If I had that bod, I'd wear the same thing.

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Andy pic: That link above doesn't work for me (Access Denied!). Stupid government job.

Can we have a beaurocracy-safe link, please? I don't want to go more than 2 weeks without seeing Andy!

Liz Kelly: Maybe you can access it from home? The pic is on facebook, which probably explains why it is blocked for you. Next week I'll return to posting them elsewhere.

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High school outfits: Oh, guys in my school all dressed like John Hughes' characters! Oversized boxy blazers, linen, pastel - it was a mix of preppy and Miami Vice. Liz, you are probably a bit too young to have seen it in your school - I graduated in 1987 - prime Hughes years.

Liz Kelly: Hold on there -- I graduated in 1989, so I think there would have been some residual linen still working its way into the lunch room.

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J&K dvd set: I am embarrassed to admit that I would watch the DVD set. I've actually enjoyed the series up until this past spring when things blew up. However, I would not actually buy the DVD set. If it were given to me as a gift or freebie, on the other hand...

Liz Kelly: Maybe if it was on sale?

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Andy Griffin at the Outer Banks: Andy Griffin got his acting start at that very long play that is presented every year in Manteo.

Liz Kelly: I know you mean Andy Griffith. And yep, he still lives close to Manteo.

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If Warren Beatty can be tamed...: Yeah, but what about George Clooney? Do we think he will finally marry some young thing and pro-create in his decreptitude. Do we blame his only ex-wife Talia Balsam for turning him off on marriage? Or was she the victim?

Liz Kelly: I'm thinking George is enjoying frolicking with various young hotties too much to settle down. This week it's 30-year-old Elisabetta Canalis.

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So excited for: "Mad Men's" return! I've got to get on the "True Blood" train too. Anyways, I was wondering what your fave John Hughes' movie was? I am partial to "Sixteen Candles" and in fact my 16 y.o. daughter and I had our own version of the Paul Dooley/Molly Ringwald talk the other day when some boy broke her heart. By the end of the talk, we were laughing because of how lame we were.

Liz Kelly: Oh, this is well trod territory.

My favorite was the not-quite-so-popular "Some Kind of Wonderful." It just spoke to me. Maybe it was a young, hot Eric Stoltz that spoke to me.

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It is a fantasy line-up, but I hope I don't start mixing up my story lines... : Tara could give Peggy some choice comebacks, and I'm sure Betty Draper could find some odd jobs for Jason to do around the house...

Liz Kelly: I could probably find some odd jobs for Jason to do around the house.

How awesome was Jason in last week's episode?

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Pretty please: No Lizzies about celebrity babies. Unless they've done something interesting (a.k.a., gotten arrested), I couldn't care less about celebrity offspring. Cute or not, they're just not interesting.

Liz Kelly: I know -- that's a hard one. And it feels kind of weird asking people to rank the relative cuteness of babies anyhow.

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Virginia: How about the "most generous" celebrity as a category? Brad Pitt has done a lot for New Orleans, Oprah for South Africa, etc.

Liz Kelly: I like it, but I think that one is more a matter of tallying donations than asking people to vote.

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Herndon, Va.: What about Best Career Since Starring in a John Hughes Movie?

Liz Kelly: I love it.

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Miley at the Teen Choice awards: Cool or inappropriate? Or just more of the same of what we've seen from her?

Liz Kelly: I think it was about what I'd expect from Miley now. I don't think the pole dance was quite as shocking as was reported, though. It still probably wasn't something most parents would want their teen girls emulating, though.

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Liz Kelly: Okay, thanks for all of the Lizzie category nominees. Lots of good stuff there, but the "It's Pat" book goes to the person who suggested "Best Fake Celebrity Romance."

Send in your name and address and I'll get the book in the mail.

See you here next week and, of course, in the blog tomorrow. Or, if you're a "Lostie," right now in the "Lost" chat!

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