Celebritology Live: 2009 Lizzies; Mackenzie Phillips; Duchovny & Leoni

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Liz Kelly
washingtonpost.com Celebritology Blogger
Thursday, September 24, 2009; 2:00 PM

Join Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

Celebritology Live Archive

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Liz Kelly: Apologies for the delay on today's main post, but we've had a few little technical hitches on this end. Hopefully, though, it'll all be worth it because, without further ado, I give you this year's Celebritology Honors. This year, we cover everything from phoniest celebrity couples to lamest celebrity Tweeters and everything in between. Cast your vote and pass on the link to your friends. Or coworkers. Or family. Or all of the above.

Let's get started...

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John Phillips: I've been hearing some criticism of Mackenzie for revealing this when her dad is dead.

Well, let me tell you all, John Phillips was a real scumbag. This may be a new chapter but it's the same book.

Liz Kelly: You're not the only one who has expressed a similar opinion about Papa John, but Michelle Phillips -- for one -- is claiming Mackenzie fabricated her incest allegations. Of course, one astute Celebritology commenter pointed out that she (Michelle) almost had to deny the story -- if true, it probably happened partly on her watch.

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Cleveland Park: I just came back from Paris. Prepping for the trip, I was refreshing my French and reading various phrasebooks and came across the phrase "I'd like my pants with a pleat." Eiik! Pleated pants are officially a global scourge!

washingtonpost.com: Zut Alors!

Liz Kelly: Les pantelons c'est fou! Dommage!

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Annandale, Va.: In our daily column you sometimes put in items under -NOT NEWS- Why?

Liz Kelly: Not News is a category I added not long ago as bucket for stories in which someone denied a story that had previously been reported, usually something of the Rumor Mill variety. For instance, earlier this week there was an erroneous report buzzing around the net about Jacklyn Smith having committed suicide.

She, or her rep, was quick to come forward and give us this Not News: Jacklyn Smith is not dead.

The criteria is that the word "not" must appear somewhere in the headline.

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Lizzies -best dressed category: should stars w/ stylists be allowed?: A recent episode of the Rachel Zoe show focused on how Rachel and her team dress Anne Hathaway from head to toe for big events, given that should she really be in contention for a "best dressed" Lizzie since she doesn't pick out her clothes herself?

Liz Kelly: I think celebs with stylists are fair game since we need to assume that once stars reach a certain level they are all equally capable of hiring and paying a stylist. So the fact that Anne Hathaway (or "Annie" as our bananas friend Rachel calls her) hired a stylist is really just her taking full advantage of her options, right?

Also, Jon Hamm is included. He's hot, impeccably dressed and we needed men in the category. But really it's Don Draper and the "Mad Men" costumers who should be getting the credit. If we're splitting hairs, that is.

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Oxford, Ohio - Dustin Diamond's lame "Bell" revelations: I was hoping for something more salacious - or fictitious!- from Screech's tell-all. Instead it sounds like lame highschool hookups and weed.

la-ame.

Exclusive: Dustin Diamond Alleges Hook Ups, Pot Smoking on Saved By the Bell Set

washingtonpost.com: Would you prefer that he had slept with John Phillips?

Liz Kelly: I'm not sure I would put much trust in a man who tried -- and failed -- to make a viral Internet sex tape. Need I say "Dirty Sanchez?"

Diablo Cody had this spot on Tweet to add to the dialogue earlier today:

On today's Oprah: Mackenzie Astin discusses his ten-year ordeal with Mrs. Garrett.

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Red Line Metro - Are Duchovny and Leone back together?: I thought she kicked him to the curb after the sex addiction revelations? Can you illuminate?

Liz Kelly: I have heard from someone who claims to have sources close to the couple in question that Tea and David are in fact back together. In fact, I'm wondering if this is said source writing the question. Hmmm.

In other important breaking news: My back yard is currently filled with scads of birds. I think they're brown cow birds and I'm guessing they are flocking for the fall in order to head south or somesuch. It's freaking me out a bit. Hitchcock and all.

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Lizzies: What does "dippiest" celeb couple mean? Most annoying? Weirdest?

Liz Kelly: I think "dippiest" is pretty self-explanatory and allows for some personal interpretation.

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Washington, D.C.: I voted for Jon Hamm for best dressed because Don Draper=the hotness. But Jon Hamm in real life is not a sharp dresser to me. His hair, when not in Draper slick bad mode, is kind of a floppy mess and he dresses sorta 1995...baggy jeans, flannel, leather jacket, baseball cap. I dunno, he could do better. But all that is forgotten when he's Don.

washingtonpost.com: AP Photo

Liz Kelly: Yep. As I said above, Jon Hamm's hotness is in large part directly attributable to his alter ego, Don Draper. But he's learning -- he had the hair slicked back and was rocking a very classy tux at the Emmys on Sunday.

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Washington, D.C.: Soooo, today is my last day at a terrible, terrible job that I endured for the past year. This chat is the only thing keeping me going until happy hour margaritas at 5.

Liz Kelly: Congratulations. I know this is no margarita, but I hope we keep you distracted for a little while longer. If you're still looking for something to kill a little time in the 3 o'clock hour, you can always join the "Lost" chat.

Okay, the armada of Brown Cowbirds just took off en masse. Maybe a birdseed truck jack-knifed on 66.

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The Lizzies!: They look beautiful! Well, except for Lady Gaga.

A question: In the category "Celebrities You'd Most Like To See Go Away And Never Come Back," why did you split the Gosselins? I had trouble on that question because I loathe them both so equally, it was hard to choose one over the other.

Liz Kelly: Good question -- I thought long and hard over that one, but ultimately decided to split them because I think all of us -- in our heart of hearts -- loathe one side of that equation just a tad bit more than the other and because we may end up stuck with one, if not both, for a long time. So, it's kind of a "Sophie's Choice," I guess.

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Re photo of Don Draper: I'm sorry was Hamm in that pic? All I saw was January Jones.

Liz Kelly: Does anyone else have a desire to reach out and smack the TV every time that ice cube Betty Draper dismisses her daughter?

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Re: Scary Birds: Isn't that what the cats are for?

Liz Kelly: They're indoor cats.

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Has Schneider or Ms. Romano weighed in on Mackenzie Phillips yet?: When the "Diff'rent Strokes" kids had a run of bad behavior in the '90s I always wondered what Mr. Drummond (Conrad Bain) thought of it. Now I want to hear from the adults on the "One Day At a Time" set. Are you aware of any quotes?

Liz Kelly: I am not -- so far Bonnie Franklin and Pat Harrington have remained mum. Nor have I seen any comments from Valerie Bertinelli.

Me, I was wondering what the cast of "Alice" had to think about the whole thing. They were on TV around the same time, right?

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Just wonderin': Hi Liz - what's your feeling about Joel McHale ("The Soup," "Community")?

Liz Kelly: I heart him. Very much.

Sadly, I haven't yet had a chance to watch "Community." I'm also slightly worried that it won't be good and that I'll lose some slight modicum of respect for Joel. Anyone care to disabuse me of that fear?

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Seth Green: I used to love this guy. What happened to him. He's only done stupid stuff lately and always comes off as a jerk.

Liz Kelly: He's still around. He had small roles in "Heroes," "Gray's Anatomy," "My Name is Earl" and "Entourage." But he seems to be doing more off camera these days than on. He's one of the co-creators of Adult Swim's "Robot Chicken."

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Glaring Ommission: Heincer from the list of celebs we'd like to see go away and never come back... They'd be the first, second, third, fourth and fifth choices on my list.

Liz Kelly: Well, but Heincer -- or Speidi -- is included in list of Dippiest Couples. So you do have a chance to vote for them. Or against them. You know what I mean.

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Washington, DC: I've had a very stressful day. Do you have any photos of mellow Andy?

Liz Kelly: I can offer this in the Andy flavor. But if you're looking for something a bit more mellow, perhaps this yawning Page might be more to your taste.

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Plastic Town, CA: What did you think of "Cougar Town"? I liked it.

On another note, living in LA sucks sometimes. I may as well be a dead cougar at 28 because as I walked my 2 dogs in my cut-off sweatpants made into shorts, sports bra, and jimi hendrix tank top I felt like transporting myself back to the safety of NOVA because a gorgeous woman in a sleek dress, big sunglasses and high heels, probably some actress, walked by and charmed my damn dogs with her pearly white smile. They probably like her because she doesn't pick up their poop.

I am going to put my zit cream on now. By the way did I mention there is a lovely beach a few blocks away? Bah humbug.

Liz Kelly: Wow. Just wow.

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Jay Leno?: Wondered why he was on the list of nominees for Celebrity Most Wished to Disappear? He doesn't seem as aggravating as the rest of the group--or was it in response to his hogging five nights of primetime tv for a flabby version of his former late night show?

Liz Kelly: Exactly. It was a reference to him not going away when he'd previously promised he would. And, I'm sorry, but I just can't stand Jay Leno. Never have. He's cheesy, hacky and has far too high of an opinion of himself. He's truly the luckiest man in showbiz.

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Don Draper costume vs pleats: So I want to be Joan from Mad Men for Halloween (I found a cute 60s style conservative sheath dress from H & M that will work great). I have red hair, it's going to work perfectly.

I want my boyfriend to be Don Draper but he does wear pleated, poorly fitting dress pants and I don't know where to get him something better - he's tall and skinny (size 30x34 if it matters) and it's impossible to find stylish pants in his size. He can't wear pleats and be Don Draper. Since we all love Draper and loathe pleats I thought I could get some help from chatters?

washingtonpost.com: Does he have a three-piece suit? He can go as Roger.

Liz Kelly: I'd recommend Nordstrom -- they have a big selection and a wide range of styles.

Or, wait, H&M used to have a nice selection of men's suiting -- especially at the Fair Oaks store. And the price is usually right there, too. You might be able to find something that comes close enough on fit and since you've got about a month, plenty of time to have it altered, too.

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Heart-ing Joel McHale : He is especially great when he co-hosts the "Loveline" radio show with Dr. Drew - his off-the-cuff answers to America's nutty sex questions are brilliant.

Liz Kelly: I'm pretty much a fan of anyone's off-the-cuff answers to America's nutty sex questions.

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Arlington, VA: Valerie Bertinelli actually came on Oprah with Mackenzie yesterday to "support" her. Of course this support had to be announced on national television. At least she wasn't in a bikini. Valerie Bertinelli is over, people need to stop trying to make that happen.

Liz Kelly: Thanks -- I was driving back from the Eastern Shore yesterday while the show was airing. My bad.

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Joel McHale: I think he is craptastic on The Soup. I saw a few minutes of Community and it was painful. His sometimes deadpan, scripted banter for The Soup does not translate to a sit-com. So sad.

Liz Kelly: Wait -- so are you saying you like him on "The Soup" or not?

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Anonymous: LIZ!

More dramatic Twit re-enactments, PLZ, PLZ, PLZ. LUV THEM! Also, more Rachel Manteuffel, she is crazy/sexy/funny! K, thx, bye.

Liz Kelly: Thank you, thank you -- Twits will be back next week. In the meantime, we had some really nice press for the show this week at NewTeeVee.com and Mashable.

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Tara Reid's appearance career abroad: I just saw pictures of her in full-gear hosting an Oktoberfest party in Germany, and occasionally you still hear stories about her Australian appearance fees:

1) Can you make a living based on foreign appearance and hosting fees?

2) Why does Tara Reid's appeal endure abroad - is it a David Hasselhoff/Jerry Lewis thing?

washingtonpost.com: Heh: Tara Reid puts the ho into lederhosen.

Liz Kelly: Ick. Just ick.

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Community: It's funny!! I was nervous too, and while it's not the best writing ever, I laughed out loud at least 3 times at a few of the funniest things I've heard on TV in quite a long while (and that includes "Glee," "30 Rock," and "The Office"). He's no Greg Kinnear, but I added it to my Tivo list.

Liz Kelly: Okay, I'll have to give it a try.

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Valerie did comment: See link:

Valerie Bertinelli on Mackenzie Phillips: I Regret "I Wasn't There for You"

Liz Kelly: Thank you!

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"what the cast of "Alice" had to think": Flo would probably tell John to "Kiss my grits!"

Liz Kelly: True. Flo did like to keep it real.

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Liz Kelly: And, sadly, it seems John Phillips may have actually taken her up on that offer.

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Suri Cruise: Why wasn't she on the list to write a tell all?

Liz Kelly: Things have been pretty quiet in camp TomKat this year and -- aside from pix of Suri being a toddler -- whereas all the other kids on that list had a pretty eventful year:

Michael Jackson's three kids lost their dad, Jon and Kate continue to put their brood through a very public break up, Britney took the boys on tour, Madonna adopted daughter Mercy James and the Octo-mom is kind of self-explanatory.

TomKat and Suri just seemed downright boring compared to all of the above.

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Silver Spring Clarification about Joel McHale: I LOVE him on The Soup.

Liz Kelly: Okay. Whew.

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Hackery: Your comments about Leno suggest a poll for next year's Lizzies--What celebrity has come the farthest with the least amount of talent? I'll bet there's a fair gaggle of nominees!

Liz Kelly: Or that might could make a good Friday List...

Hmmm.

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Is there a new "Brangelina" on the horizon?: Isn't it time for a new white-hot supernova couple to hit the tabloid stage?

Liz Kelly: I dunno. The tabs seem pretty content to keep beating the Brangelina bush.

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Jon or Kate: So Liz, which is it for you?

Liz Kelly: I think Kate.

Jon I can deal with -- he'll turn up less and less frequently in the tabs and maybe surface for a brief run on Celebrity Fit Club -- but Kate is making a play to ingrain herself in the national dialogue (inane as that dialogue may be) by attempting to launch her own TV talk show. No thank you.

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Bon Temps, LA - Where was Anna Paquin on Sunday nite?: I loved seeing the super dreamy Stephen Moyer on the Emmy red carpet Sunday, but where was his fiance Anna Paquin?

Liz Kelly: I noticed her absence, too. I was a little bit concerned until Giuliana Rancic started asking Stephen about the engagement and it sounded like things are fine.

Unfortunately, Giuliana didn't ask after Anna's whereabouts.

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Kate attempting to launch her own TV talk show: At least she has enough people in her house to fill the studio audience!

ba-dump-bump! -hits cymbal-

Liz Kelly: Nice.

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Arlington, VA: Thanks for posting the pet pix. That picture of (yawn) Page (stretch) certainly has done (yawn) a number on me (head on desk - zzzzzzzzzz)....

Liz Kelly: Her evil plan is working.

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King of the Hacks: Leno is so awful it's not even campy fun. Just groaning hackery. (don't get me started on the lame Tom Cruise satellite interview...)

Liz Kelly: Dude, you're preaching to the converted.

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Community: Forget that other poster. The pilot of "Community" was great. Not "30 Rock" great but still. Even Chevy Chase is funny. Looking forward to episode 2 tonight...

Liz Kelly: Sometimes it takes a few episodes for a show to find its groove, too.

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Pleated Peached?: I was browsing a popular store, I'll call it the Zoft, and noticed they sell shorts that are "peached." Not quite pleats, but puffy and unattractive on anyone heavier than an Olsen twin. Want to make you aware of the Ick Nast at a mall near you.

Liz Kelly: Thank you, I have seen similar shorts and stayed well clear of them.

Another alarming trend -- the '80s appear to be back. I keep running into skinny jeans with asymmetrical stitching and patches and over-sized graphic printed t-shirts. Not to mention primary color -- think royal blue -- sweater dress looking things. Am I exempt from this trend if I had to live through it the first time. When it wasn't ironic?

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"Cougar Town"? : OMG it was So so so so so so bad. Not funny bad, but bad bad. Bad acting, bad timing, bad lines, bad plastic surgery. sad and scary

Liz Kelly: Man, poor Courtenay Cox. She just can't seem to pick a winner.

There was a commentator on NPR last night or this morning with an interesting take -- he was asking when Hollywood was going to get over the idea that stars like Cox and Juliana Marguiles can carry a new show just because they once happened to be part of a successful ensemble cast.

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Anonymous: I don't trust M. Phillips at all. She has a long and well documented history of drug abuse. I hate to cast the burden of responsibility on any victom of rape or abuse. But she continued using and abusing drugs with and around her dad, knowing that it compromised her safety and led to the kind of behaviors she's alleging.

Liz Kelly: I'm assuming you refer to Mackenzie here, not Michelle -- just for clarity's sake. I'm sure the book was fully vetted by lawyers and since Papa John isn't around to give us his side of the story we may never know.

But one thing to consider -- sexual abuse, like say your dad raping you on the night before your wedding -- can lead to future self-destructive behavior, like drug abuse.

And Mackenzie says she was 19 when the abuse started. Legally an adult, but still not the responsible adult party in the equation. No matter how mature she should have been at 19, her father was the person in a position of power here. And that doesn't just apply to where the blame should be placed (with him) for any abuse, but also for any drug use. With apologies to people who had solid, but permissive, parents -- I'm pretty thankful that mine were total squares who regularly rained on my parade.

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the '80s appear to be back: I know! I saw Anna Lynne McCord in a magazine wearing ACID WASH JEANS!

Leave that corpse in the cemetary fashion industry, please!

Liz Kelly: I meant to add "Is acid wash next." Apparently the answer is yes.

I refuse to go there. Again.

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Tuesday 9 29: Will you and Gene be at your computers for the monthly chat that morning?

washingtonpost.com: Chatological Humor

Liz Kelly: Ayup.

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Paquin and Moyer were out on the town last night: They hosted a fundraiser for an animal shelter, so don't worry about the True Blood duo - they seem fine.

True Blood Wedding Going to the Dogs

Liz Kelly: Danke.

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Liz Kelly: Okay, I have to run. Time for the "Lost" chat and I'm being terrorized by a stink bug. Part of the usual fall invasion here in my neighborhood.

Don't forget to vote in the Celebritology Honors.

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