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Celebritology Live: More Twits, Jon & Kate, Roman Polanski, More...
You've Been Served... a Heaping Plate of Gossip

Liz Kelly
washingtonpost.com Celebritology Blogger
Thursday, October 1, 2009 2:00 PM

Join Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

Celebritology Live Archive

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Liz Kelly: Okay, before you settle in to this afternoon's discussion, please take the time to watch this week's episode of "Twits." Not because it is funny, witty and possessed of a really neato intro animation. No, you need to watch because Producer Paul is featured in this week's episode -- he's the second reader, aka Katy Perry.

I'll wait. Okay, good. Now you all have a face, voice and demeanor to associate with his witty mid-chat asides.

In other big Celebritology News, the winners of the 2009 Lizzies were announced today. We can talk about them here, too.

In other news, Jon Gosselin has forced a shutdown of "Jon and Kate Plus 8" by trying to block camera crews from filming his kids. One can only imagine this is a response to the announcement that as of November the show would be called only "Kate Plus Eight," though I wish it were because he finally realized he is a low-life exploiter of his own children.

Ah well, good times. Let's get started...

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What happened to the A-Rod & Kaballah romance?: Did he give up the red-string religion after Madge left him, or is he still a follower?

Liz Kelly: I'm guessing the Kabbalah thing was purely Madonna-inspired for A-Rod and, now that Madge has moved on, so has he. Never fear, Madonna has got Jesus (Luz) wearing the red string now, so it's a one-for-one replacement.

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So EWWW think you can dance: WHY is America dissecting icky up-skirt pictures of a "So You Think You Can Dance" contestant? And why didn't the editors catch the shot in post-production?

So You Think You Can Flash

Liz Kelly: I'm waiting for Lisa D to weigh in, but my guess is that Fox isn't too upset about the crotch shot. Look at all this free press.

But I have to second your "ewwww." Talk about a wardrobe malfunction.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Wow, could things be any uglier with the Gosselins? If I didn't think his motives were completely selfish, I'd be happy with Jon for putting a halt to the farce.

Liz Kelly: Agreed. Just got this statement from TLC:

We are aware of Jon Gosselin's recent statements, and remain deeply disappointed at his continued erratic behavior. He and the family were shooting as recently as last Friday, without incident, and his latest comments are grossly inaccurate, without merit and are clearly opportunistic. Despite Jon Gosselin's repeated self destructive and unprofessional actions, he remains under an exclusive contract with TLC. Direct filming of the children has been currently suspended, pending further conversations between both parents.

Translation: Jon, you bonehead, our lawyers will be in touch. You will feel a bit chapped afterwards.

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The Twits with Rev. Run: Rev. Run was my favorite of the set. I like the acting choice Ryan Taylor made to play him as pinstriped, sipping, playa.

Liz Kelly: Thanks Ryan's mom. Ryan was super-prepared for the taping. He showed up with changes of costume and was convinced that he had to play Rev. Run as an angry Don Draper.

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Liz Kelly: Just in case you don't want to navigate to another page, here's this week's Twits:

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Wes Anderson Confuses me: I love most of Wes Anderson's films, and I'm excited to see "Fantastic Mr. Fox," HOWEVER I am really bummed by his decision to sign the pro-Roman Polanski petition to the Swiss. Which raises two questions for me:

1) Doesn't it seem like a weird move to publicly come out to support a guy who raped a child when Anderson himself has a CHILDREN'S MOVIE coming out?

2) Will any of the filmmakers/actors face the wrath of American audiences for signing a petition that says America has a justice system gone amok, and praises Polanski?

Liz Kelly: This is a good question. Many actors, directors and even Post Op-ed writers have come out to condemn the arrest of Roman Polanski. I imagine largely inspired by the fact that the man is a great director and, many feel, was just in fleeing from a man seen as a publicity-seeking judge prior to his sentencing.

Whatever the case, a backlash is already building for Anderson and "The Fantastic Mr. Fox," with several bloggers -- like this one (found in a random Google search) already calling for a boycott of the movie.

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Nerve.com: Are you aware that you've made it onto Nerve.com?

Video: Celebrity Tweets Read Out Loud/

Liz Kelly: Neato. I was not. Though I know we did make Mashable and YesButNoButYes last week. "Twits" is an unstoppable train of tweety goodness.

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Washington, DC: Please tell me Jon's real name isn't "Johnathon."

Liz Kelly: Okay. Jon's real name isn't "Johnathon."

This is hardly definitive, but according to Wikipedia, it is "Jonathan."

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James Franco is joining Genreal Hospital?!?: This has got to be a hoax, right?

Did the guy lose a bet or something? Does he have large gambling debts to pay off?

James Franco To Star In 'Lengthy' Arc On 'General Hospital'

Liz Kelly: This I have got to see. Maybe he was looking to pick up a little extra cash while in New York for school.

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Arlington, VA: Yeah well, I remain "deeply disappointed" with the greedy swine at TLC who think it's okay to make money off of the Gosselin children. Take the show off the air permanently and don't give either of the parents talk shows. Let them fade into oblivion now.

Liz Kelly: Hey, I'm with you. But not sure I'd go so far as calling the TLC suits "greedy swine." I mean, the biggest portion of disgust here has to be reserved for the actual parents who would sign their kids up for 24/7 invasiveness. TLC is just profiting from their greed.

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Whoopi Goldberg on sexual assault sensitivity: Whoopi, Whoopi, Whoopi what on earth is "rape-rape"? The days that Sherri makes the most sense on the panel are the ones that fill me with the most confusion.

washingtonpost.com: Whoopi On Roman Polanski: It Wasn't 'Rape-Rape'

Liz Kelly: I don't know what the right answer is for Roman Polanski, but I think we can all agree that he was, in fact, convicted of raping a 13-year-old girl. I don't think it gets any more "rape rape" than that.

Please make "The View" go away.

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John Cusack and the aging of other 80's icons: Liz - I loved your piece on the John Cusack's disappointing career choices since '00 in the blog. In addition to bad films, is it possible that some of the disappointment comes from seeing our adolescent crushes age?

For example: seeing Val Kilmer and James Spader take the fast train to let-yourself-go-ville is a real bummer. But in general I think it's just hard to see the march of time affect former youthful figures like Anthony Michael Hall, Judd Nelson, Andrew McCarthy, etc. (What's really weird is that Robert Downey Jr. was a contemporary and after all the drugs and trouble he looks the best and has the hottest career right now!)

washingtonpost.com: Remembering John Cusack (No, He's Not Dead)

Liz Kelly: I dunno -- there's a difference between aging and completely selling out. I think I'm much more comfortable with the former, as far as that goes.

Val may no longer have the body to wear Jim Morrison's leather pants, but I'm much more dismayed about his errant career choices ("Island of Dr. Moreau") than I am about his waistline. In fact, I enjoyed the heftier Val in "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" a couple of years back.

For Cusack there is simply no excuse. He had already handily made the transition from teen movies to grown-up fare with movies like "Grosse Point Blank" and "Being John Malkovich." I can only assume the "2012" thing is about a paycheck. And I don't begrudge John or anyone else the ability to make some money, but I do reserve the right to criticize you if I think you've chosen a particularly lame path.

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Polanski defenders - the "artiste" defense: After reading the long list of Hollywood creative types who signed the to free Roman Polanski, I'm a little chagrined that they are using as a defense the reason that he is, "a renown and international artist." Um, okay so all Oscar and Palme D'Or winners should be immune from prosecution and conviction?

I doubt the petition supporters would feel the same way if Polanski were a priest who had fled the country after drugging and sodomizing a 13-year-old!

washingtonpost.com: O.J. would like you to include Heisman winners to your list.

Liz Kelly: Thank you Paul for, as usual, defusing a heated discussion. Not.

And I have to agree with the questioner here that being an artist of renown doesn't exempt one from following the letter of the law and facing the consequences of one's actions. As I wrote earlier this week I can't imagine this same debate would be going on if Polanski were just some average Joe who forced himself on a 13-year-old neighborhood kid.

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RE: twits: I have spent months saying I have no idea why Twitter appeals to people and now, after watching this week's edition...I stand corrected. These things are brilliant little nuggets of fun! Of course I'm sure their original authors never meant them to be seen quite like this but hey, that's why they rock! Keep 'em coming!

Liz Kelly: Thank you! I think we may need to have Twits Awards if this thing makes it to a year.

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Ordway St NW - Can We get a Kardashian family ban on Celebritology?: Liz, you are waaay better than most at keeping the Kardashian coverage to a minimum. Everywhere I've looked tis week it's been Khloe this and Kim that. Can we make Celebritology a Kardashian-fee zone? They are just awful.

Liz Kelly: As much as I'd like to grant your wish, I just can't promise not to cover anyone -- let alone the Kardashians. Like it or not, they are part of the new definition of "celebrity" -- you can thank Paris Hilton for that -- and therefore merit inclusion in Celebritology. Now, I do try to limit my Kardashian doses to truly big stuff (marriages) and ridicule, so that should help somewhat.

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Please make "The View" go away: Seconded!

And Elisabeth Hassebeck returns this month! Can anything stop this abomination?

Liz Kelly: The only thing I see capable of stopping it is some kind of post-nuclear event in which electronics no longer work.

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Twits for Pets: Are there any famous animals with Twitter accounts? I'm not thinking Mister Ed, but actually cats or dogs. Paige, Andy and Opie could be stars too!

Liz Kelly: Hmmm, not that I know of... anyone?

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Slow, yes?: It seems like the celebrity gossip mill has been interminably slow lately. Can't Brad leave Angelina for . . . I dunno . . . Miley Cyrus or someone? Can't Ryan Reynolds leave ScarJo for a non-famous blonde in DC (me)?

Liz Kelly: It's hardly been slow -- why we're in the midst of a possible Justin Timberlake/Jessica Biel breakup, Jude Law is busy trying to deny he fathered some one-night-stand's baby and Britney Spears is being left largely to her own devices again -- meaning her clothing choices are quickly deteriorating.

Not to mention we've had one of the biggest years for celebrity death counts in recent memory.

This is a great gossip year.

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Liz Kelly: Okay, Weingarten is harassing me -- in the middle of my chat, no less -- to help him write one of his columns again. So, being the pushover I am, I told him that not only would I help, but I would ask you for help. Here is his request:

please give me the names of three hot female celebs, not pure trash, but not rocket scientists either, whom it would be funny to link romantically with Dr. Sanjay Gupta.

Anyone want to help Gene out? This will appear in the PostMag, or so he claims.

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So, what's the answer on dealing w/ the "long list" of Polanski defenders?: If I boycotted everyone on this list, there would be no movies to see this fall. (Also, I'm sort of uncomfortable w/ a McCarthy-like list of people to blacklist.)

BUT this Polanski thing really bothers me, as do these people supporting him. What do I do?

Liz Kelly: I'm not sure there's anything you can do. This is a matter for the legal system, not popular vote.

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James Franco: Didn't his career start on soap operas?

Liz Kelly: I thought it started on "Freaks and Geeks," but a quick check of IMDB reveals he did guest star in one episode of the short-lived "Pacific Blue," which was more of a "Baywatch" variety soap.

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River City, Va.: My favorite thing about the new Jon Gosselin story is how it is clear he can't even spell.

Liz Kelly: And you're surprised?

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Silver Spring: Rachel Zoe comes to mind. Perhaps he could get her to eat something.

Liz Kelly: Okay, good. Keep 'em coming.

You realize, of course, that Gene will have no idea who Rachel Zoe is... along with most of the other names we provide.

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Washington, D.C.: re:Polanski -- I just want to add, he was not only convicted of drugging and raping a 13-year- old, he ADMITTED it. There is absolutely no question. I find all these petitions, etc. to be appalling.

washingtonpost.com: Also, could there be a less surprising piece of information than that this occurred at Jack Nicholson's house during the '70s? I can't imagine what would follow the words "So I was at Jack Nicholson's in 1977, and you wouldn't believe what happened" that I actually wouldn't believe.

Liz Kelly: I was at Jack Nicholson's house in 1977 and we had a three-hour talk about the Bicentennial, which had happened the previous year.

I'm guessing you wouldn't believe that, Paul.

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Harrisburg, Pa.: I would love to hear the poetry of Gene Weingarten's tweets.

Liz Kelly: He Tweets regularly. You should be able to find him in a search of Twitter.

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Washington, DC: It was spelled "Johnathon" on the sign he put up at the house to keep the film crew out.

washingtonpost.com: True

Liz Kelly: Right, but I'm guessing he didn't print that sign himself.

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Blacksburg: Speaking of Paris Hilton...has she been purposely flying under the radar, or have we as a country just gotten bored with her antics?

Liz Kelly: She's been quiet this year, though she did win the celebrity-made satire video category in the 2009 Lizzies.

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Jon & Kate Can't Relate: Don't you think TLC missed a big ratings boost opp when it jettisoned Jon in favor of just Kate & the kids? What previously netted them big viewing numbers was the split up and all of the drama & ugliness that went with it; focusing on that again as they move forward in their post J & K & 8 lives would keep people watching, not the celebrity career that Kate Hairdo is trying to launch.

Liz Kelly: I dunno. As I recall, numbers were already slipping for the "Jon and Kate Plus Eight (Separate)" episodes. I'm guessing this was a) designed to get them back in the tabloids, boost ratings. Remember, TLC made it clear that they still have an exclusive contract with Jon, too. I doubt he would have disappeared completely.

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Twitter for Animals: Yes! Charlene Butterbean of The Itty Bitty Committee blog has her own twitter. Butterbean is one of the two adult cats in a house where the owners often foster kittens for the Tacoma Humane Society. Butterbean loves the kittens and gets lots of pictures with the teeny furballs. Definitely worth checking out for the cuteness :)

washingtonpost.com: charlene butterbean (kittycommittee) on Twitter

Liz Kelly: Wow.

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three hot female celebs: Padma Lakshmi

Drew Barrymore

Penelope Cruz

Liz Kelly: Okay, thank you.

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Sanjay Gupta: Isn't he married?

Okay fine, how about Catherine Deneuve, Aishwarya Rai and hmm, claire danes, no, January Jones, shark saver.

Liz Kelly: Thankew.

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Gupta hottie: Obviously Jennifer Aniston - she's allegedly dated everyone else, why not Gupta as well?

Liz Kelly: Good one

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Gene--Gimme a bre, AK: Gene is cheating! He takes the buyout and quits half his duties for the Post, and he still can't do his own research!?

Liz Kelly: Hey, this is research. He needs celeb names he goes to the celeb experts.

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three hot female celebs for Dr. Gupta: Well..duh..

Kim, Khloe & Kourtney.

Liz Kelly: Hahaha.

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Woody Allen comes out for Polanski: C'mon, even the Woodster has got to know by adding his name to the Zurich petition 1) he's making it a walking punchline, 2) he's not doing any good to his pal Polanski.

Maybe if the petition succeeds, Woody and Roman can team up on a joint project about John Philips?

Liz Kelly: Mayhaps a "Three Amigos" update? (Though Phillips would have to be portrayed ala "Weekend at Bernie's")

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Definitely Anonymous: Okay, I am ducking behind the door, BUT...

Didn't the 13-year-old's mother bring her there with the express purpose of getting on Polanski's casting couch?

Did he KNOW the girl was 13?

Isn't the mother guilty of anything? Who brings their kid into that kind of siutation (i.e., people doing drugs)??

One person on the scene said that the girl seemed much older. I am not blaming the girl though! I'm just saying that I'm not sure he knew.

Liz Kelly: Here we go.

Yes, the mother admitted to bringing her daughter there. Not the best parenting, but it still doesn't change the fact that what Polanski did was illegal. He has variously claimed he didn't know she was 13, but where it counted -- in Polanski's plea transcript, he said he did know she was 13. Scroll down here and you'll find the admission at about mid-page.

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Hey Soaps were good enough for Joan Crawford!: In addition to Franco and Crawford, 5 other soap guest- spots starring actual stars:

In Honor of James Franco Joining the Cast of General Hospital: Five Other Superstar Soap Cameos

Liz Kelly: I'm not sure one-offs -- like Snoop Dogg and Lily Allen -- should count. We're talking a multi-episode arc here.

And re: Joan Crawford, according to "Mommy Dearest" (which must be right because it is on film), she stole that role from her daughter.

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Raleigh NC: I just wanted to thank you for your John Cusak update this week. Not because of John per se, but because it made me think of Joan Cusak. While watching the Grosse Pointe Blank clip, I couldn't help thinking of the scene in the same movie, where Joan is gleefully dancing through her office, dousing it with gasoline, then taking a call from her boss to be gifted with big cash. I LOVE Joan Cusak! If I ever have a drink with a celebrity, she's definitely my top choice. A bit obscure, true, but often so wacko in such a good way.

Liz Kelly: Well, you're welcome. I love Joan, too. Especially in 16 Candles.

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For Sanjay: I second Drew Barrymore, though I think she is actually pretty smart. Maybe Keira Knightly? But I'm having trouble with the basic premise, as Gupta is uber-married (by which I mean, constantly breeding, it seems).

washingtonpost.com: I've been thinking about this, and I nominate Carrie Underwood, Queen Latifah and Tricia Helfer.

Liz Kelly: Okay, I'll pass those along. Queen Latifah? Really?

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Olney, Md.: Why does everyone pick on Elisabeth Hasselbeck? I saw her on Survivor: the Australian Outback, and she was quite possibly the NICEST contestant ever. My insurance agent went to Boston College with her and played on the softball team with her and said that she was one of the sweetest girls she knew. To me it's like kicking a kitten. BTW I work during the day so I don't see "The View."

Liz Kelly: Hmmm, where should I start? Well, watch this, then get back to me.

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"Three Amigos" casting: John Cusack as John Phillips. It works on so many levels.

Liz Kelly: Hmmm, if the script is penned by Charlie Kaufman it could be Cusack's comeback role.

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Darien, Conn - The Craziest Headline I've Seen This week: Courtesy of E!Online's Ted Casablancas:

Is Drew Barrymore the Next Spielberg?

Um, no.

Liz Kelly: Hey now, don't be a hater.

Drew is a pretty talented cookie and has a lot of get up and go, to boot. She pretty much raised herself, overcame addiction at a very young age and has proven herself to be a woman of diverse skills -- not only acting, but running a production company and now directing her first feature film, "Whip It," which I understand garnered much critical praise at the Toronto Film Festival. Also, as for the acting bit, she did a pretty fab job of playing Little Edie Beale earlier this year in HBO's "Grey Gardens."

Also, I have the biggest girl crush on Drew.

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Lost without Lost: No Lost discussion today? What gives?

washingtonpost.com: The 'Lost' Hour: Season 1 and 2 Review

Liz Kelly: We'll be talking Lost tomorrow, fear not. And we'll have a super-special surprise feature to go along with the discussion.

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Oh, it has to be hot starlets that Weingarten would know?: Well then: Rita Hayworth, Bettie Page, and Betty Grable.

washingtonpost.com: Is Gene down with the talkies?

Liz Kelly: Tee hee.

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Arlington, VA: "Three Amigos" remake?! OMG, I practically choke on my yogurt, I was laughing so hard-- especially with the "Bernie's" plot wrinkle. Sounds like "Oscar" to me!

Liz Kelly: We could throw in a few plot elements from "Look Who's Talking" for good measure.

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atlanta: Sanjay: married, lives down the street, and just had his third child.

Liz Kelly: I'm guessing that is neither here nor there as far as Gene's concerned.

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General Hospit, AL: Is actually one of the few soaps filmed in California - so no New York connection for Franco.

Liz Kelly: Well, scratch that idea then.

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That elusive silver linings: Spencer Pratt's self-proclaimed steps to avoid paternity show that he has been paying attention to the Gosselin melodrama and wishes to assure his continued notoriety in other ways (no less sleazy, but at least not at the expense of small, innocent kids).

Liz Kelly: I can't fault your logic.

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Long Island, N.Y.: Now that Kate is free from Jon, can we at least expect a new hair style? I'm not asking for much: One color, more symmetic, and less like the plumage of a barnyard rooster.

Liz Kelly: I'm hoping for piercings.

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washingtonpost.com: twitter.com/geneweingarten

washingtonpost.com: twitter.com/geneweingarten

Liz Kelly: And there you go, a link to Gene's Twitterings.

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Watching "The View": Watching "The View" is a reminder that I should start taking Viactiv or other bone-density drugs immediately.

Liz Kelly: It's a reminder that I should gouge my eyes out. Actually my ears... I can look away, but I can't listen away.

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To Behind the Door: I don't know enough details about what the mother's intentions were supposed to be, but supposing they were the worst possible, this is what the 13-yr-old child said: No. No to oral sex, and still Polanski did it. No to vaginal sex, and still Polanski raped her. No to anal sex, and still Polanski sodomized her.

Sorry, but the grand jury testimony shows no gray lines here. He did those things all by himself to a child.

I'm hoping this is a great opportunity for America to wake up and stop taking looking up to Hollywood for life guidance. Wishful thinking, eh?

Liz Kelly: I don't think we need to make this issue bigger than what it is: a man who admitted to raping a minor, was convicted and went on the lam prior to his sentencing. Now he's going to have to face the music in some, probably small, way. End of story.

And anyone idiotic enough to depend on Hollywood -- or any other single source -- for life guidance deserves what they get.

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Darien, Conn - I like Drew too!: I'm not hating on her, but Spielberg is a great director (schmaltzy endings and all) you'd have to have at least 5 great films under your belt to deserve that comparison. I just think Casablancas's sucking up knows no bounds.

Liz Kelly: Well I believe the story called her a budding Speilberg, right?

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Washington, D.C. : Condoleeza Rice and Sanja Gupta would make an interesting couple.

washingtonpost.com: You mean Jack Donaghy's lady friend?

Liz Kelly: Hahaha. Nice, Paul.

And I'm informed Weingarten has made his decision and requires no further nominees.

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Twits: I'm surprised Danny DeVito's tweets didn't make this installment. His tweets are a thing of beauty.

PS - I second the Kardashian ban. I choose not to pay attention but somehow I know there is one with a sex tape, a pregnant one with a deadbeatish boyfriend, and a married one. And somehow they are connected with The Hills...

Liz Kelly: Stay tuned for DeVito in next week's episode.

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"Did he KNOW the girl was 13" - Cue the Chat's team of lawyers: As Liz pointed out he DID KNOW she was 13, but under the theory of Statutory Rape laws - She could look 45 and have a fake ID to boot, but it doesn't matter b/c a child (regardless of how old they look) is unable to give consent.

I'm sure the 9,000 attorneys who frequent this chat can back me up.

Liz Kelly: Thank you.

And I think maybe attendance at the weekly Celebritology chats should be some kind of required membership for lawyers, like being in the bar association or something. We already have 79 percent of the D.C. area lawyers in here anyway.

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Twitter Kitty: Sockington. Slightly alarmed by how engaged I am.

Liz Kelly: And he has 1.2 million followers. Clearly I need to rethink my career.

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Liz Kelly: Alrighty, that's it for this week. We'll be back next week with another chat, another Twits and -- doubtless -- more Kardashian news.

Losties -- don't forget that the chat has been reskedded for 2 p.m. ET tomorrow (Friday). I'll see you there.

Oh, and if I didn't already mention it, Twits.

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