Washington Sketch Live

Post columnist Dana Milbank serves as the capital's foremost critic of political theater.

He was online Friday, Oct. 9 at noon ET to take your questions and comments about the things politicians say -- and the absurd ways they find to say them.

A transcript follows.

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Dana Milbank:

Dear Reader:

All I can say is, "wow." When I did last week's webchat, little did I know it would cause me to win the Nobel Prize in Literature. Some would say that I have not been doing webchats long enough, and the results have not been impressive enough, to merit such a high honor. But I am truly grateful to the Norwegian Nobel Committee, which saw fit to recognize my "extraordinary efforts to strengthen interaction between columnists and readers" and attached special importance to my "vision of and work for a world without earnestness."

But this is no time to rest on our laureates. Let us now, dear reader, continue our mutual work over the next hour toward this shared vision of a world of absurdity.

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DC: Not sure if you are a fan of the Simpsons, but I thought today of Sideshow Bob:

"Do they give a Nobel Prize for -attempted- chemistry?"

Dana Milbank:

The committee has determined that you get a Nobel Prize for Comic Trivia for that one.

Am not seeing much support for Obama's Nobel in the question queue, even those coming, apparently, from the left. Anybody want to attempt one?

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April 1968: Interested to see in your Wikipedia bio that we were born about two days apart. Quick historical trivia: what three major events occurred in the US in the 90 days around the dates we were born? We had a contemporary US history class with an assignment to read the NY Times for any 90 day period post WWII and write an analysis. Imagine future students stumbling across your sketches on a similar project 40 years from now--whiskey tango foxtrot indeed...

Dana Milbank:

You are probably thinking of assassinations, but I think the greatest significance is that we were both conceived in the Summer of Love. In retrospect this has much to do with me being awarded the Nobel this morning.

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Fairfax County, Va.: I would also point to your tireless advocacy for world peace. And oral consumption of Purell.

Dana Milbank:

Yes, how about a Nobel Prize for Public Health? Speaking of which, I have written a piece for the op-ed page for the weekend on my favorite obsession.

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D.C.: So, how far do you think the pieces of Bill Clinton's brain scattered this morning when his head exploded?

Dana Milbank:

You know, that was the first thing I thought of: poor Bill Clinton. Carter gets the prize, Gore gets the prize, and now Obama gets the prize. I'm betting Hillary gets it next year and the invitation to Oslo is addressed to "Ms. Hillary Clinton and Guest."

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Great Neck, NY: I can mix powdered ice tea and water and make iced tea does that mean I'm eligible for the Nobel Prize in chemistry too?

Dana Milbank: No, but I have the pleasure of reporting that you are a finalist for the Nobel Prize in Bartending.

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Arlington, Va.: Well, now we know long Republican Schadenfreude lasts: less than one week. Lose the Olympics, win the Nobel Peace Prize. Sure, it may be too soon for Obama to receive this award, but if the main reason Obama received it was that he wasn't Bush, why can't the 60 million Americans who voted for Obama get the Peace Prize as well?

Dana Milbank: What, it's not good enough that I'm sharing my Nobel in Literature with you?

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Herndon, Va.: If you can handle a non-Peace Prize question, what has been the general reaction to your "Old Boys Club" column? Has there been much/any anti-feminism backlash?

washingtonpost.com: So Much for Shattering the Glass Backboard (Post, Oct. 9)

Dana Milbank:

How noble of you to change the subject to today's column, which of course has been entirely eclipsed. I believe there has been very little reaction one way or the other because all eyes (with cocked eyebrows) are on Oslo. But there is one question about it in the queue. I will go find it now.

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Omaha, Neb.: Because 50's and 60's style sexism isn't in (great) evidence, it's so easy for detractors to claim "sexism is behind us, those rabid-feminists are over-reacting because they hate men, (probably because they can't get a date.)" As your column points out, gender still has a heavy hand in the way we, or in this case our leaders, think and behave. Thank you so much for writing it.

-a young feminist

PS: what the #$@# is up with that Peace Prize?

Dana Milbank:

There we are.

I have a feeling that any criticism of Obama for playing basketball with the boys will probably be lost in history to the Nobel prizes we both have won today.

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Arlington, Va.: As he now has the Nobel Peace Prize, will next be the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, Massachusetts?

Dana Milbank:

I believe they are already hanging his Punahou jersey (#44) from the rafters.

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Another first thought: My first thought was the University of Arizona not giving Obama an honorary degree. I love the sound of heads exploding in the morning!

Dana Milbank:

Another fine point! This is why you all have won the Nobel Prize in Literature with me. So it can now be said with perfect accuracy that the University of Arizona (and the International Olympic Committee and the New Hampshire Democratic electorate) all have higher standards than the Nobel committee.

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Am not seeing much support for Obama's Nobel in the question queue, even those coming, apparently, from the left. Anybody want to attempt one?: Be glad to. By convincing the American people to elect him, Obama made it far less likely that the U.S. would create false or weak reasons for invading and occupying another country, thus destabilizing virtually every country in the world and increasing the threat of terrorist activities in other countries on the periphery of the action (see England and Spain). He made it more likely that the leaders of other countries could at least consider the option of working with the U.S. on international issues without being tied to Iraq, Abu Graib, Gitmo, etc. By making it clear the U.S. would be willing to negotiate with countries such as Iran, the President gives the world at least some hope that military actions can be avoided or delayed in trouble spots. How's that?

Dana Milbank:

That's pretty good. But what happens if, between now and the time he accepts the award in December, he sends another 40,000 troops into Afghanistan? Maybe they should have an understudy, just in case. I think WJC would be willing.

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Washington, DC: Look, if you were Obama, you would want to play basketball with Hillary? Something tells me that her elbows are sharper than anybody in the NBA . . .

Dana Milbank:

Sebelius is the one he's afraid of. Did you see the way she beckoned into the camera on Leno when she said to Obama "bring it on"?

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Chattanooga, Tenn.: And I thought we were shooting for the stars with the Pulitzer.

Dana Milbank:

Winning the Nobel has been all the sweeter because of my persistent rejection at the hands of the Pulitzer Committee. It must be how Obama feels about being rejected by Arizona State (not Arizona, as it said in an earlier exchange).

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And the nominees are....: Doesn't the staff of whoever is President routinely submit their guy's name for the Nobel Peace Prize? Just like the Washington Post would routinely submit your name for the Pulitzer or People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive contest.

Dana Milbank:

This reminds me: Obama's prize winning streak began when he was shown shirtless in the Hawaiian surf in People magazine and called one of its celebrity "Beach Babes."

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Lansdale, Pa.: Dana: Frankly, by giving him the Prize, hasn't the Nobel Committee did all it could to ensure the failure of his presidency? Will Republicans work with him and justify the Prize or block his every move to make sure that he will be known as the Marissa Tomei of the Nobels?

Dana Milbank:

This assumes that they had some plan of working with him in the first place. Mitch McConnell is already a finalist for this year's Academy Award in Obstruction and John Boehner has won a MacArthur Genius Grant for Intransigence Research.

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My share: I agree that Obama should share the prize with everyone who voted for him. But that's just my $.02. Literally.

Dana Milbank:

Yep. That and $828,999,999,999.98 will buy you health-care reform.

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Charlottesville, Va.: So who was egregiously overlooked for the Peace Prize? Who shoulda won?

Dana Milbank: Olympia Snowe, for her role in the Group of Six?

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Leesburg, Va.: Dana,

How are Republicans going to spin this against Obama? I mean, it's not like he gave himself the Nobel Peace Prize.

It would be like getting mad at the "Chocolate Rain" kid because the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences gave him a Best Picture Oscar for that YouTube video.

Dana Milbank:

True. Also if you think about it, there were some pretty major peacemaking moves that weren't even mentioned in the Oslo citation, such as the beer summit at the White House.

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Levi/Dana spread: We heard Playgirl asked Levi to pose only after you rejected them. True?

Dana Milbank:

No, my shoot was with Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Review.

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Ex-Pat, Canada: Me, I am pleased as Punch that Obama won the Peace Prize. Or will win, whatever.

Question - has he indicated -what- he plans to do with the prize money? I can see that issue being fraught with controversy as well.

Dana Milbank:

I'm thinking a donation to the Clinton Foundation would really rub it in.

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Olympia Snowe, for her role in the Group of Six? : That sounds like something you shouldn't Google at work.

Dana Milbank:

I'm nominating you for some sort of prize for that.

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Silver Spring, Md.: How did we get to this place where the majority opinion of five well-connected Norwegians means so much?

Dana Milbank:

This is huge!

Silver Spring, your question made me think of something from earlier in the week, so I went back through my email to double check, and sure enough: JUST TWO DAYS AGO, OBAMA ISSUED A PRESIDENTIAL PROCLAMATION DECLARING IT "LEIF ERIKSON DAY" IN THE UNITED STATES. This is an obvious quid pro quo. I think we have solved this whole Nobel mystery -- and I expect we will win prizes for this.

Here is the entire text of the proclamation:

For Immediate Release October 7, 2009

LEIF ERIKSON DAY, 2009

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BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

A PROCLAMATION

On this day in 1825, the ship Restauration landed in

New York City after sailing for 3 months from Stavanger, Norway.

The 52 passengers aboard represented the first organized

emigration of Norwegians to America. These brave individuals

set to the seas, following in the grand footsteps of the famous

Scandinavian explorer Leif Erikson. Over a millennium ago, Leif

Erikson -- son of Iceland and grandson of Norway -- arrived in

North America and founded the settlement Vinland, located in

modern-day Canada. Today, we celebrate his historic voyage and

remember those who journeyed to America from far-away lands.

Our Nation's founding history is marked by millions of

individuals who faced great hardship and difficulty as they

pursued a brighter future abroad. As explorers, they did not

know what they would find, but they were determined not to turn

back, in order to learn what lay beyond the setting sun. This

same spirit lived within Leif Erikson, and it has inspired

countless others who venture from their homes in search of

opportunity, uncertain of the possibilities and challenges

that await them.

Today, our Nation continues to welcome those descendents of

Leif Erickson to our shores. Nordic Americans have contributed

immeasurably to the success of America. Their cultural

accomplishments have enriched the diversity of our country.

And their pioneering spirit continues to embody our Nation's

unbounded enthusiasm for discovery and learning.

To honor Leif Erikson and celebrate our Nordic-American

heritage, the Congress, by joint resolution (Public Law 88-566)

approved on September 2, 1964, has authorized the President to

proclaim October 9 of each year as "Leif Erikson Day."

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the

United States of America, do hereby proclaim October 9, 2009,

as Leif Erikson Day, and I call upon all Americans to observe

this day with appropriate ceremonies, activities, and programs

to honor our country's rich Nordic-American heritage.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this

seventh day of October, in the year of our Lord

two thousand nine, and of the Independence of the United States

of America the two hundred and thirty-fourth.

BARACK OBAMA

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Silver Spring, Md.: "Obama made it far less likely that the U.S. would create false or weak reasons for invading and occupying another country"

Uh, that seems to run counter to what I'm seeing in Afghanistan, Pakistan and even Somalia. Though we've talked about it, we haven't yet pulled out of Iraq nor have we closed Gitmo. All the while we're rattling our sabers at Iran.

I agree he's not GWB. But..

Dana Milbank:

I'm telling you: It's all about Leif Erikson.

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Blown, Mindville: MLB commish just named Obama 2009 World Series MVP!

Dana Milbank: It's going right up there on his shelf next to the Heisman Trophy and the Stanley Cup.

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Evanston, Ill.: I don't get all the surprise. If Obama is the Messiah, doesn't that make him the Prince of Peace? It only seems fitting.

Dana Milbank:

Evanston, I am nominating you for sainthood.

Thank you all for chatting today. Speak to you next week, and remember, you heard it here first: It's all about Leif Erikson.

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