Celebritology Live: Train wrecks of the decade; Gyllenspoon split; Courtney Love loses custody
Thursday, December 17, 2009; 2:00 PM
Join Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly LIVE every Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones), and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.
Liz Kelly: Welcome to the last chat of the year. So fitting that we're discussing the biggest train wrecks of the decade. If you haven't yet had a look at the list, go ahead and take a peek now. Then come back and tell me who I left out, who should have ranked higher and -- if you're feeling frisky -- who you think is headed for the next decade's list.
In other news -- we apparently have an actually Gyllenspoon split, Tiger has been golfing at night to calm himself down and Courtney Love finally lost control of Frances Bean.
Speaking of Tigers, Andy the cat is here with me. In fact, he's mounting an assault on the keyboard as we speak. I'm guessing he wants to make sure one last pic of him is posted before we close out our 2009 chats. Well,
... and it's classic Andy.
And with that, well, let's get started...
Quatch Cave: Liz, are you planning on emulating Erykah Badu and Tweeting on your progress during the delivery?
Liz Kelly: No. In fact, I plan to be far away from coputers -- except the one necessary for regulating important things like my epidural -- on delivery day.
In case anyone hasn't yet seen it,
, resting comfortably on Friday.
Portland, Ore. - Britney for biggest Train Wreck - hands down: From the Vegas quickie marriage, the matchy denim outfits w/Justin, head shaving, K-Fed, barefoot trips to the gas station bathroom, stuffing her kids faces with Cheetos, destroying clothes on magazine shoots, badmouthing her mother, taking on a British accent when she dated the foreign paparazzo, good and disastrous MTV Awards performances, and finally being put into conservetorship -- the dictionary should formally change the work "train wreck" to "Britney Spears '00-'09."
Liz Kelly: Agreed. And now that our poll results are working again -- or so says Producer Paul -- we can see that Britney is ahead in the voting, though Tiger is giving her a run for her money. I think the Tiger stuff is just so fresh in our minds, it's hard to put in perspective. But 14 mistresses kind of pales in comparison to Brit's escapades.
The cool thing about Brit, though, is that she
to be back on track. So we get a happy ending.
Liz Kelly: If you haven't yet voted -- do it now. Or just view the results.
Part Celebritology/Part Lost question...: Any idea if Maggie Grace will be returning to shot the last year on "Lost"?
Liz Kelly: Last I heard, producers had not been able to come to terms with Maggie Grace for a return. But why not ask again in the 3 o'clock hour when Jen Chaney and I will be talking about predictions for "Lost's" sixth season with special guest, blogger DocArzt.
Kudos to Bullock - Sandy speaks the truth : Whether this was PR-prattle or her honest belief, kudos to Sandra Bullock for this dead-on truism quote: "Being a movie star is a joke, it's all such a crapshoot."
Liz Kelly: Well, she's always been good at the self-deprecating thing, no? Has anyone seen "The Blind Side" -- is her performance really worthy of the Oscar buzz?
Liz Kelly: Enh. I don't put much credence in it. There's no actual evidence. At least with John Edwards, they had pix of the guy visiting his (now-confirmed) love child.
What's the nitty-gritty on the Courtney Love/Frances Bean restraining order?: Judging from her tweets and Facebook screeds, CL has been off her rocker for a while now, what was the incident or substance that led to Frances going into the custody of her grandmother and the court putting a restraining order out on CL?
Liz Kelly: Kurt Cobain's family has been working for some time to wrest Frances Bean away from her mother's clutches. So this wasn't necessarily set off by one event, but a series of bad decisions on the part of Love. I'm sure it hasn't helped her case at all to be so accusatory and vocal in public venues like Facebook and Twitter. And apparently some of Love's facebook tirades -- in one she called Frances Bean "clearly deluded" hastened the judges decision to excise Love from her daughter's life.
Nosy Parker: As an alliteration maven, may I propose that for the interim we Lizards refer to the baby-to-come as Kid Kelly? Punchy, no? And no sexism involved!
Liz Kelly: I kind of like that. Reminds me of Kid Coconut.
Houston we have a problem: Wait: we have a list of worse train wrecks of the decade and there is no mention of Whitney Houston - one of the greatest voices in history - who sat the decade out smoking crack or appearing in her husband's reality TV show?
washingtonpost.com: When you narrow it to 10, many worthy candidates will get left out.
Liz Kelly: Right you are and Whitney came thisclose to making the list. I'm interested in hearing others who all of you think might have made the list if we'd expanded to, say, 20.
Confused, VA: Where is Elin?
From the US Weekly linked this morning: "She's planning to go somewhere warm and Tiger-free for Christmas."
From the Hollyscoop link this morning: "According to People, she's taking the two children and flying to her native Sweden for the holidays. "
Liz Kelly: Well, she could be going to a sauna in Sweden which would then render both of those statements correct.
DC: With all due respect to Britney '00-'09, Anna Nicole Smith -died- from her trainwreck. #1.
Liz Kelly: You've got a point there.
Epochal trainwrecks: Was suprised not to see Michael Jackson on the list?
Liz Kelly: True, though he largely led a life outside the spotlight in the '00s. And a lot of his more controversial stuff -- including one of his sexual molestation trials -- took place in the 1990s. It wasn't until after his death that we learned the extent of just how bizarre his life had become.
Hannah, Montana: Miley Cyrus will be the next Britney/Lindsay train wreck. Assuming Disney let's her stop doing the Hannah Montana thing before she turns 30.
Liz Kelly: And perhaps little sister Noah will be close behind, considering her "Smack That" performance.
"Enh. I don't put much credence in it. There's no actual evidence. At least with John Edwards, they had pix of the guy visiting his (now-confirmed) love child.": Liz I'm confused - was that in response to the Bulock question, or a different question that did not go up on the chat?
Liz Kelly: That should have followed a question asking about Angelina Jolie and the National Enquirer's claim that Brad saved her from a suicide attempt.
Paul, did we have a glitch in the matrix?
Andy the Cat: Who's this Liz, Junior, person? I didn't approve of any additions to the family. You need to ask me for permission before doing things like this.
Liz Kelly: Oh just wait until Kid Kelly is waking up Andy at 3 a.m. I can't wait.
Chicago: I ranked my gossip of the decade based on how criminal their acts were, and how despicable I found the crime. Thus, Chris Brown ends up at the top and Pitt-Jolie-Aniston at the bottom. Seems reasonable to me.
Liz Kelly: That's one way of creating a heirarchy. Mine was based more on who got the most tabloid mileage + the shock factor. As in "14 mistresses? What the what?" or "Shaved her head? What the what?"
Wilmington, Del. - The real deal on Jake and Reese: What's the word on the fact that ALLEGEDLY she was his beard, and a breakup was necessary because if he were to ALLEGEDLY come out in the next 3-5 years, it would reflect negatively on her as manipulating the press and being complicit in the lie -- ALLEGEDLY.
washingtonpost.com: And now it's not going to reflect negatively on her because huh? Seems like closing the barn door after the cat's out of the bag.
Liz Kelly: Thanks for adding that bucolic turn of phrase, Paul. I feel like we're at Shrute Farms now.
As for the question, I'm with Paul. If Jake comes out at any point, we're all going to assume she was play-acting the relationship with him -- whether the news were to break tomorrow or 10 years from now.
My argument for Whitney: So while Britney was crazy or Lindsay was trashy, what did we really lose? Some stupid pop-sexploitation songs and some bad movies. But with Whitney Houston we lost years of terrific music.
Liz Kelly: Well, but we don't know what we lost with Brit and Lilo. And, in fact, Lilo may have been shaping up into a pretty darn good actress there. She was awesome in "Mean Girls" and seemed to be attracting interest for higher calibre projects until her private life began to eclipse her career.
One for the Celebritology legal team: what was the best legal scandal?: My first nominee would be the whole Anna Nicole circus trial with that crying judge, w/2nd place going to Paris Hilton's in then out of jail hokey-pokey.
washingtonpost.com: Over the Jackson trial? Or Martha Stewart's?
Liz Kelly: Or the in-and-out of jail hokey not just for Paris, but alos for Lilo and Nicole Richie.
Or we could make a case for the O.J. memorabilia theft trial.
New Hope, PA: Honorable Mention: What about that guy from Seinfeld, you know, Kramer?
Liz Kelly: Yep, another contender who didn't make the cut. Mainly because his star wasn't quite as big as the others on the list. Not quite as far to fall, you see.
Speaking of which, did anyone else catch the deft way that was handled on the most recent season of "Curb Your Enthusiasm?"
Gyllenspoon: I read somewhere that Jake wanted to get married and Reese did not, hence the breakup.
Liz Kelly: Yes, that's one rumor floating about. Another is that Reese didn't think Jake would make a good stepdaddy.
Your kitties aren't 3 a.m. rabblerousers?: Isn't Andy awake at 3 a.m. anyway, running through the house with Opie like a herd of elephants? Or is it just my cats that do that?
Liz Kelly: Nope, Andy and Opie tend to settle down by midnight. But, trust me, there's plenty of thundering up and down the stairs and wrestling up to that point.
Washington DC: For Trainwreck of the Decade, I think we need to consider not only impact, but also longevity. For that reason, I nominate Tom Cruise. He spent 15 years building one of the most visible and lucrative careers in entertainment history, and then spent the last 10 years systematically destroying any appeal he once had. His very public divorce, even more public remarriage to a woman half his age, the nutball Scientology rants on the biggest media outlets in existence, insults leveled directly at the hundreds of thousand movie-goers who take psychoactive medication, the weird obsession about his height (that wedding picture of him and Katie, where she's sagging at the knees? ick)-- all of it adds up to "what the hell did I ever see in him?"
Liz Kelly: Yep, good one. The Matt Lauer interview, in particular, was a low point.
But the guy is still making big studio movies with other mainstream stars and pulling in decent, if not huge, box office hauls.
Union Station: Where did you read the news about Tiger playing golf at night? I haven't seen that tidbit of info?
And about the Reese/Jake thing, why is she called a beard? I hear that alot.
Liz Kelly: Tiger Woods Has Been Golfing Alone at Night, (UsMagazine.com)
The Blind Side: As a big Ravens fan, I saw The Blind Side despite some so-so reviews. I really enjoyed the movie and thought Sandra Bullock did a really good job. It's not her typical role - not sure if it's Oscar worthy, but I think it took more talent than her usual romcom actressness.
Liz Kelly: Okay, good to know. I'm trying to think of a role in which Sandra Bullock really stretched and didn't play her usual dippy, happy-go-lucky self. I'm coming up empty. Anyone?
Jake and Reese: Did you see this People Mag article from a couple of weeks ago? Was so disappointed when I clicked on it. I have never laughed so hard at an unintentionally funny headline.
Liz Kelly: Nice.
LiLo: While "Bobby" was really hit-or-miss as a movie, Lindsay Lohan was terrific in it. I remember when that film came out Lindsay and her handlers said that she was ready to take her career in a different, more serious direction. It's so sad that she self-destructed.
I also feel this way whenever the Disney Channel replays the "Parent Trap." At one point she was an incredibly talented actress. I can't believe she's only 23.
Liz Kelly: Well, here's to hoping she gets herself back on track before too much more time passes. Hollywood can be incredibly forgiving if there's real talent hidden under all the mess. Look at Robert Downey Jr.
Arlington, VA or AKA I've Been Living in a Cave: Congrats on Liz Jr. (news to me! How did I miss it?!)!!!
And thanks for the picture of Andy - how does your menagerie deal with your holiday decorations (if you have any)?
For us, the movie line "everytime a bell rings, an angel get his wings" becomes "everytime the Xmas tree moves, the cats get to meet Mr. Water Spray".
Q: Huffington Post reports that Robert Downey Jr. is being detained in Japan. Rut row. What have you heard?
Liz Kelly: Thank you! As for the cats, so far they're leaving the holiday decorations alone, but ours are minimal - no tree so no alluring ornaments to tempt them.
Re: RDJ -- he was detained for a short time in Japan because of his
record as a felon. Here's what he had to say when asked about the incident by David Letterman earlier this week:
"I probably should have seen there was a sign that said 'No Felons Allowed' in English and Japanese and I haven't had that expunged yet," he told David Letterman this week. "You can actually get things expunged but I've been pretty busy. So I was detained, I was interrogated. It was a blast."
Pregnancy munchies?: Any interesting foods you're craving? Pickels, ice cream, grapefruit juice, soda crackers?
Liz Kelly: The only craving I've had is for grape fruit. I am going through them like water.
Baltimore: Re Courtney Love: After she did a star turn opposite Woody Harrelson in "The People vs. Larry Flynt," it looked like Love might have a real movie career. Then, as far as I can recall, there was no followup. I mean, not even a straight to video project, or a Lifetime movie, or anything. She just seems to have been determined to make her life a train wreck. Either that, or she has some serious mental health issues.
washingtonpost.com: To be fair, she did play a drug-addled stripper in "Larry Flynt." Not really a stretch.
Liz Kelly: She also had a role in that Andy Kaufman biopic, "Man in the Moon," right?
And, yeah, she seemed very at home with acting. And let's not forget the success she had with Hole's first two albums. The woman has talent.
Mens Wear Dept, Tysons Corner: If there is a celebrity train wreck, and there are no paparazzi to document it, does it really happen?
Liz Kelly: Okay, now my head hurts.
Hugh Grant: Doing lots of press for his new movie with SJP, and comes across as an attractive, aging, verging on eccentric British bachelor. But the Divine Brown incident hints at another much wilder guy beneath the surface.
washingtonpost.com: I think being British implies surpressed feelings beneath the surface.
Liz Kelly: Right. Cheerio. Keep calm and carry on. Don't mind the prostitute in the passenger's seat.
Sandra Bullock: Ms. Congeniality-- she was more of an insecure dorkus.
Liz Kelly: Oh, but come on, that was classic Sandy. I'm talking about really stretching out -- where's her obligatory shot at a British accent, ala Julia Roberts's horrid "Mary Reilly?"
Washington, DC: Congratulations on the new addition to the family. I hope you have told Gene that you will name the baby, Madyson!
Liz Kelly: I did not and would not even joke about such a horrible thing. Gene is telling me I MUST name the baby -- if a girl -- Molly. Nevermind that his own daughter is named Molly.
Oxford, Ohio - Key criteria when determining biggest trainwreck.: Besides the big indiscretion(s), the key factors in determining a trainwreck is 1)how far did they fall? 2)where did they land?
Although she was always Z-list, Anna Nicole's death was gruesome and sad: a far fall down ending. In terms of falling from great heights Britney and Mel surely qualify.
This is why I don't think the Brangelina triangle qualifies as a trainwreck: all three continue to milk publicity out of a long dead story, and it didn't cost anyone roles or box office.
Liz Kelly: You have a point there re: Brangelina. Maybe they would have made more sense on a list of the Most Over-Covered Stories of the '00s.
Washington, D.C.: Sandra Bullock had her few moments being serious when she portrayed Harper Lee in the Truman Capote film with Phillip Seymour Hoffman a few years ago.
washingtonpost.com: She was in the other one, Infamous. Catherine Keener was in the Hoffman one.
Liz Kelly: Right -- I forgot about that. Thank you.
Mel: I voted Mel pretty high because you didn't mention the "Passion" (movie) controversy, or the passion (Russian baby momma) controversy. He was married for nearly 30 years - that's unheard of in Hollywood. And then a random Russian girlfriend. Extreme train wreck.
I put Anna Nicole lower because she died. She didn't have 10 whole years to screw up.
Liz Kelly: Re: Mel's marriage. Don't forget that they'd been basically separated for at least two years when the whole Russian love child store broke.
I'm trying to think of a role in which Sandra Bullock really stretched and didn't play her usual dippy, happy-go-lucky self. I'm coming up empty. Anyone?: "A Time to Kill" and "Murder by Numbers." If you haven't seen them, you should. Like, yesterday. She was amazing in both of them. And they were very definitely not happy-go-lucky characters.
Liz Kelly: Why thank you. I'll add both to my Netflix queue.
Jake G.: Let us hope Reese fares better than Jake's other former long-time GF, Kirsten Dunst. What ever happened to her after that awful turn as Marie Antionette?
Liz Kelly: Maybe she's hiding under a rock with Joaquin Phoenix.
Nosy Parker: If Andy doesn't like Kid Kelly, may I adopt Andy?
Liz Kelly: Sorry, if Andy doesn't take to Kid Kelly at first, he will just have to learn to make the best of the situation. Anyone who comes into this family -- two-legged or four -- is staying for the long haul.
Tiger: Perhaps he would have fared better had one of the many lovelies threatened to extort money from him and he could have put himself in the aggrieved, scared victim category rather than the tasteless hound category?
Liz Kelly: Or he could have maybe stopped hiding behind heavily massaged Web site statements and actually made an effort to defuse some of the hype with a sincere mea culpa.
It's still not too late for that, in fact.
Washington, DC: Why have there been so many rumors about Jake G over the years? Was it because of Brokeback Mountain? There was never any speculation about Heath Ledger.
Liz Kelly: I believe the Jake speculation predated "Brokeback Mountain."
Arlington, VA: I nominate Robert Downey Jr. for comeback celeb of the decade.
Liz Kelly: Totally agreed. RDJ wins, hands down. Caught an old "Inside the Actors Studio" with him earlier this week and the coolest thing about it was the obvious love and regard he and his wife (she was in the audience) have for each other.
Possible daughter name: Jean Kelly.
Dances off the tongue, doesn't it?
Liz Kelly: Enh. I've got enough Genes in my life.
Friends: Friends and I were laughing last night about "Christmas letters" and riffed on which celebrity (family) we'd like to have a letter. For the kind among us, the "Obamas" and for the more cynical, the "Lohans." My personal vote would be for the Kardashians. Yours? And why.
washingtonpost.com: "It's been an interesting year for us Gosselins..."
Liz Kelly: Oh, I think it would have to be the Woods-Nordegrins for me.
Alec Baldwin: A few weeks late, but do you really think he's retiring? My husband thinks it was a bit of a joke, since Oprah announced she's retiring in a million years, he announced he'd retire in a million + 1. I hope it's not true. I heart Jack Donaghy. And I can't wait for "It's Complicated" and the Oscars!
Liz Kelly: Like your husband, I'll believe it when I see it. He does seem to be branching out and doing other things, though. I particularly enjoy the movie intros he's been doing with Robert Osborne on TCM lately.
Washington, DC: I thought I was a devoted reader, yet I totally missed this! When/where did you announce?
Liz Kelly: In the blog on Monday or Tuesday, morning. I kind of snuck it in there, though.
Tiger's mea culpa: What about the statement he issued about the trangressions and apologizing for such? Seemed simple enough, yet didn't get much traction.
Liz Kelly: I think there's a big difference in impact between a written statement and one actually enunciated by the transgressor.
Another Sandra: She buckles her dogs up when she takes them in her car. That makes her one of the greatest actresses I can think of. I love her movies even if most of them seem fluffy.
Liz Kelly: I think that's great that Sandy buckles her dogs up, but that doesn't add much to her acting for me.
Liz Kelly: This just in to my mailbox:
On tomorrow's edition of 'The Martha Stewart Show' (syndicated, check local listings), rapper Snoop Dogg will join daytime host Martha Stewart in the kitchen to bake chocolate brownies with green sprinkles.
Green sprinkles, eh?
That is so Gene: Gene is telling me I MUST name the baby -- if a girl -- Molly. Nevermind that his own daughter is named Molly.
You know this is so Gene won't forget little girl Kelly's name, right?
Liz Kelly: Good point. Hmmmm.
Arlington, Va.: I've never really thought that much about how people praise the pre-trainwreck Lindsay Lohan's acting skills. She gets a lot of credit for "Mean Girls," but in my opinion, she may have been the "star" but that movie belonged to everyone else. How often do you hear people quote one of her lines? How often to you hear people quote EVERYONE else's lines? That movie belonged to Regina George. Lindsay was just a prop.
Liz Kelly: Or, one might argue, it belonged to the movie's mastermind: Tina Fey.
Comeback celeb of the decade nomination: Drew Barrymore.
Liz Kelly: Good one. I heart Drew.
How far they've fallen: If a longtime freefall is part of the train wreck, I'd have to say Michael Jackson wins. The guy was spiraling downwards for many years: the freakish plastic surgery obsession, the dollies, the kids, Blanketgate, the random surrogate mom, Neverland, bankruptcy, squatting in random Middle Eastern royalty's palaces, using a general anesthetic (!!!) for insomnia ... and then death by said anesthetic. Serious train wreckage.
Liz Kelly: Another vote for Jacko...
What about Hasslehoff for Z-list trainwreck?: How many times can that guy get rushed to the hospital (for probable alcohol poisoning)?
washingtonpost.com: Well, I mean, his car does drive itself...
Liz Kelly: But would a trainwreck be making bank selling personalized pictures of himself as a surfing Santa online?
Liz Kelly: Okay, that's it for 2009. Thanks for making this the best hour of my week for another year. I'll see you back here on January 7th. A fabulous holiday season and new year to all.
Oh, and stay tuned for a new Twits episode tomorrow!
Losties -- jump on over to
. We'll be discussing season 6 predictions with blogger DocArzt.
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