Michaele Salahi vs. Whoopi Goldberg, LiLo's free again, more -- Celebritology Live

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Jen Chaney
Thursday, August 5, 2010; 2:00 PM

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Jen Chaney: Plenty to discuss today, including Mary Hart's upcoming departure from "ET," Paul's attempt to assess celebrity booty and the fact that I just got off the phone with Connie Britton of "Friday Night Lights" (interview to be posted tomorrow). And, as always, we can discuss whatever's on your mind.Let's rock it. Or -- to put it in "Scott Pilgrim" terms -- "We are Sex Bob-Omb ... 1, 2, 3, 4!"

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Guilty until proven celebrity: Raise your hand if you're surprised LiLo got out of jail early.

Jen Chaney: I'm going to guess no one is raising his or her hand...

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Chelsea Clinton's wedding: OK, I'm just going to come out and admit it. I loved the photos of Chelsea Clinton's wedding and did get teary-eyed. They just seemed so happy. Maybe I enjoyed it so much because it was a nice antidote to how cynical I have become about celeb relationships (not that Chelsea is a bona fide celeb, but close enough).

Jen Chaney: Hey, that's okay. This is a place of love and acceptance, so it's fine to admit it.I didn't get teary-eyed, but I definitely thought the photos were lovely and that they seemed genuinely happy.

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Skeleboobs: Why is Angelina so skinny? She's soooooo skinny!

Jen Chaney: She might be one of those people who is just naturally a very skinny person. I don't understand how or why the universe makes some people svelte with little effort, but for some unfair reason it does.

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the photos were lovely and that they seemed genuinely happy.: If there's one thing I hate it's those couples who fake happiness at their wedding.

Jen Chaney: Har har.What I meant was the photos seemed "real," as opposed to the overly posed and excessively orchestrated celeb wedding photos that sometimes get released.

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Celeb cabooses: If it was Paul doing the assessment, where was Scarlett's booty? Can't believe he'd leave her out (and she has a nice booty).

Paul Williams: You know, since it's not her most notable asset, I didn't think it made sense to include her.I can assure you I put a lot of thought into this.

Jen Chaney: Paul did indeed put a lot of thought into this. But Scarlett's omission is still, indeed, surprising.I think it shows a certain measure of journalistic objectivity. When testing the celeb booty reader, Paul Williams does not play favorites.

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Too skinny: If Angelina looks skeletal in photos, just think what she must be like in real life. The camera adds 10 lbs. I have seen a few thin female celebs in person and was struck by how really teeny they actually are.

Jen Chaney: I have seen her in person and she is definitely thin, but she didn't look skeletal to me. I won't disagree with those of you who contend she has gotten skinnier. She probably has. But I don't think it's necessarily evidence of an eating disorder or anything.

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Assess-ment: Let's be clear. Producer Paul did an amazing amount of celebrity booty research, but the actual asses-ment was conducted by online software. Thus we were assured that any cracks in the research would be suitably exposed.

Paul Williams: I can't rebut this. I'm behind this 100 percent.

Jen Chaney: Baby, I've got your back.This punny exchange has been brought to you by Sir Mixx A Lot

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high brow low brow: People were a bit over the top last week with the snark. This is the only chat where I could think of saying the following: I just reread Anna Karenina, and every time there was a chapter on Levin, I couldn't get an image of Zach Galifnakis out of my head. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.

Jen Chaney: Again, this is a place of love and acceptance. Thank you for sharing.

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RHODC: What are your predictions on tonights premier? Scandal or snooze-fest?

Jen Chaney: I predict one thing almost for certain: I will not be watching.

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Salahi vs Goldberg: Sounds like a heavyweight prize fight except one isn't anywhere near a heavyweight. I didn't see the episode (bummed) but hoping to find it on youtube when I get home. Was Whoopi really out of line of did Michaele characteristicly over act (I mean over react)?

Jen Chaney: I also have not watched the episode, just read about the fracas. To me, this all seems like drummed-up controversy for the sake of getting people to talk about the show and potentially watch it.

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Love and Acceptance: Even for pleated pants wearers ?

Jen Chaney: Look, I don't condone pleats any more than Liz does. But all are welcome here.We can't get the pleats people to change if we don't accept them into our hearts first, right?

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Barbra Streisand: Any idea why anyone would think to compare Jennifer Anniston to Barbra Streisand?

Jen Chaney: For the sake of a magazine shoot? Honestly, comparing Lea Michele to Barbra makes a lot more sense to me.

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What is up with Adam Lambert fans?: Do you now write columns about him knowing they'll descend within minutes like a pack of overly-offended, flaming, screaming banshees? I mean I like the man's music too, but jeez, people.

Jen Chaney: I did not know they would descend, as you put it. I noticed that the Lambert people were getting fired up shortly after the VMAs were announced. And I wanted to post something on the VMAs that wasn't just a regurgitation of who was nominated. So I focused on the "what's ticking people off" angle.And clearly the Lambert people were really ticked off.

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Skinny Joli: OK, I accept the naturally thin thing..some people are just born that way, lucky dogs. But why does she ALSO get naturally full lips. No fair.

Jen Chaney: I know. It really isn't fair. She is truly stunning in person, and she didn't look like she was even wearing much make-up when I saw her.Life gives beauty riches to some, taketh away from others...

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Biggest celebrity news of the summer..?: Chelsea's nuptials? Lilo's jail time? Sandra Bullock's marriage?

Jen Chaney: Well, I'd rule out Bullock because that whole situation broke in the springtime.Actually, I'd opt for door No. 4: Mel Gibson. That situation really seemed to capture the imagination (Is that the right word? Probably not.) of the public in a way that even Lilo did not.

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Skeloina Jolie: I don't know that there is anything 'naturally svelte' about AJ - she was not this skinny years ago, she's gotten much thinner... Yeah she was always slim, now she is emaciated, veiny and lollypop-ish - (for those that remember the Ally McBeal term)

Paul Williams: Angelina: Then | Now

Jen Chaney: Paul has produced comparison photos here. Honestly, she doesn't look emaciated in the Now photo. Thin, yes. Not emaciated.

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Mens Wear Dept, Tysons Corner: And what is wrong with pleated pants? Maybe it's time to start a movement to ban women's pants that have elastic waistbands.

Jen Chaney: That also would probably be a good idea.

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Any Desmond news?: Have you talked to Liz lately? How are she, baby Desmond, Mr. Liz, Andy, Opie and Page all doing? They're like family to us (sniff).

Jen Chaney: What does that make me, a distant second cousin?Serously, though, I talked to Liz last week and all are doing well. Still adjusting to life with Desmond but doing well. She definitely says hi and is thinking of all of you.Meanwhile, I am counting the days until she returns from maternity leave...

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Glee!: I cannot think of anyone more perfect to play Sue Sylvester's mom than Carol Burnett. Genius casting. I'm really looking forward to that episode. And I would love to see Kurt do a version of "Nasty." That would make my year.

Jen Chaney: Same here. The more I think about that Janet Jackson option, the more I like it.Although last I checked, Mariah Carey was dominating the poll asking which pop artist should be featured on the Super Bowl episode.

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Emaciated: President Clinton at Chelsea's wedding? Too thin?

Jen Chaney: I noticed that he looked thin, too. Again, though, probably not emaciated.I think we're using that word a little too liberally here.

Paul Williams:

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Angelina Then & Now Photos: Keep in mind when looking at celeb photos: AIRBRUSHING and PHOTOSHOP.Nobody's tummy looks like that naturally. I mean, c'mon. Those photos are obviously altered.

Jen Chaney: Exactly. Which is why I am going by what I saw in person, when I was sitting a couple of feet from her. She is thin, but not emaciated.Her fingers are also very long, and so are her eyelashes. Fascinating, isn't it?

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The Lambert People: Is this an official term for the fans? Like dead heads?

Jen Chaney: Ha. No, it isn't. I think the ofifical name is Adam's Family.(Boooo....)

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Movements to ban things: While we're talking above movements to ban things, can we ban the ubiquitous hand-on-hip pose of female celebs? Enough already!

Jen Chaney: No, we can't. It's part of the methodology involved in making one's self look as thin as possible for the camera. We need that hand-on-hip pose, whether we are celebs or not!

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Is Bravo the Problem?: Interesting column in the Metro section today slamming Bravo for perpetuating a culture of low-expectation celebrity through the Real Housewives show.I agree with the thinking behind it but, come on, Michaele what's her name's face is plastered all over the Post all the time. If we turn them off, they'll go away. But nobody seems to want them to.

Jen Chaney: Well said.The Salahis may earn Bravo some ratings (maybe). But they also score page views for this here Web site and other sites, too.

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Miss Jackson: Clearly Janet would be the best choice for a Glee episode. I don't know what's wrong with the people who answered the poll.

Jen Chaney: I like the idea of Beyonce, too. And a Prince episode would be amazing.Only one that kinda bores me of the options I presented is the J. Lo episode. Which means it will probably happen.

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Nosy Parker: I'd love to see a Dolly Parton "Glee" episode. She's sung and written tons of music in a variety of genres, from authentic Appalachian folk songs as a trio (with Linda and EmmyLou) to soulful ("I Will Always Love You") to pop ("9 to 5"), and everything in between. Imagine a number from "Best Little Wh0reh0use in Texas" with the football team. Her appearance (in more than one sense of the word) would suffice to wreak havoc at McKinley High. It might depend on whether her plastic surgeon and wig stylist can get her ready in time, I suppose...

Jen Chaney: Oooh. I like that idea, too.

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Banning: Perfect Storm: This metaphor is played out, people. I don't want to hear it anymore.

Paul Williams: It's the mother of all cliches.

Jen Chaney: Okay, we won't say that then.

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What does that make me, a distant second cousin?: There, there, Jen. One of my second cousins would still be my BFF even if we weren't related!

Jen Chaney: Hey, thanks.I think?

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San Diego, CA: Random curiosity. Jen, have you ever met Renee Zellweger? If so, was she pleasant?

Jen Chaney: I haven't met Zellweger. She seems like she would be pleasant enough. She's got that whole down-to-Earth Southern girl thing going on.

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Glee: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo! No more celebrity-focused/themed episodes. These just KILL the creativity of the plot lines. Augh! :-(

Jen Chaney: I hear you. That's one of the reasons that I wasn't super-high on the Madonna episode. The degree to which the characters praised her awesomeness was a little much.At the same time, it is very fun to speculate about who the guests will be. I think Burnett will be great. And I've enjoyed other people who popped on the show, like Neil Patrick Harris and Kristen Chenoweth, who I really wish was a regular member of the cast.

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She's got that whole down-to-Earth Southern girl thing going on.: I've never seen a permanent scowl described so nicely.

Jen Chaney: As I've said before, Renee does sometimes look like she's sucking on a lemon in photographs. But in interviews, she has that soft Southern drawl. That's what I am using as the foundation of my assessment.

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"rewarding" real housewives: Yknow, I think there's a problem with the premise of the McCartney column on the Real Hosuewives - that gaining fame and fortune through a reality show is a "reward" for them. Is there anyone in this chat who wants the fame and fortune you get from being seen catfighting on national television? I mean, I'd rather stay poor, thanks.

Paul Williams: *raises hand* I would gladly appear at your shopping mall opening.

Jen Chaney: Same here. But the people who go on reality shows probably don't share our world view, my friend.

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Undoctored Angelina photos in public: "Finding Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie at the French Brocante" last summer in Provence, with some of their kids: http://willows95988.typepad.com/tongue_cheek/2009/08/finding-.html The blogger responsibly blocked out the children's faces.

Paul Williams: Ann Hornaday told Tony Kornheiser that Angelina was lovely sans makeup when she sat down with her for this piece: Action figure: Angelina Jolie is out to prove she's an actress worth her 'Salt'

Jen Chaney: I saw Angelina on the same day that Ann did, and as I said before: I agree.

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Gleek: I love Glee, but wish they would stop dedicating entire episodes to individual artists. It's limiting, and honestly, very few pop artists have enough decent songs to fill an entire episode.(also re: banning phrases, back in my debater days the phrase "fire storm of controversy " was used so much it became a joke. Most teams forbid their students to use it. ever.)

Jen Chaney: I hear what you're saying.This isn't a banned phrase necessarily, just a word I really don't like: Webinar. Gives me the shivers.

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Glee: An entire episode of classic Queen. They can have Adam Lambert guest star as well.

Jen Chaney: They've already done one Queen song, but their library certainly lends itself to "Glee"-dom. Another good idea.

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Team Celebritology: Will we be seeing more of the guest posts from Sarah and Paul in the coming weeks? It's great fun to have a mix of folks writing in the blog.

Jen Chaney: I am sure we will have more guest posts, yes. Sarah and Paul have done a great job and I certainly can use the help.So, just to recap: You really miss Liz and you want more guest posts. I'm hurt, people. I'm hurt!

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A phrase I'd like to ban: Pillowy lips.

Jen Chaney: It's almost a requirement when writing about Angelina Jolie. Agreed. We need to be more creative when describing that woman's mouth.

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Glee celebs: I think it depends on the celeb in question. NPH didn't seem to get in the way of the plot, to my mind. But I can't stand Kristin Chenoweth (sorry, Jen). I thought the Madonna episode was too self-aware, or something. Can we have a Glee chat? Like the Lost chat, only with Glee.

Jen Chaney: Well, there certainly is lots of interest in "Glee." Not sure if we'll have a chat on the same level as "Lost," but I am sure we'll cover it in the blog. if a lot of you readers demanded a "Glee" chat or recaps or something, we would at least consider it.

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We love you Jen: really we do. We just like the additional folks because we know that then you won't burn yourself out. Feel better?

Jen Chaney: Oh, I know. I'm just joking. Wanted to add a little more drama to the chat.I'll take a few more questions beyond our time limit today since you all are so chatty.

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You really miss Liz and you want more guest posts. I'm hurt, people. I'm hurt!: Jen, we only tell you these things because you have become an accepted celebritology leader.

Jen Chaney: Aw, thanks.Truly, if we don't revel in the celebrity and pop culture news together, we're going to die alone.(Requisite "Lost" reference there, for those who didn't follow...)

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A phrase I'd like to ban: Bewteen a rock and a hard place, damned if you do, damned if you don't...

Jen Chaney: I've got another: "The thing is is that."No one writes this. But everyone says it. Why? Why the two "ises"?

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Mrs Clinton: Any comments on her dress at the wedding?

Jen Chaney: I only saw the one picture where you couldn't see the entire dress. But what I saw looked nice. And I loved the color.

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New Chats: If you do one for Glee, you'd better throw one on for Mad Men!

Jen Chaney: Well, the season's already underway, so it's kind of too late for "Mad Men" this season.I will continue to blog about major talking points on the show, though, as I did with my posts on Betty and Freddy.

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Lost references will never get old: Or will they? I hope not, freckles!

Jen Chaney: They will never get old to me, perhaps to the chagrin of our non-"Lost" loving readers.

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Jen, light of our monitors, queen of our keyboards: What's your fantasy interview "get"?

Jen Chaney: Wow, good question. I have many.I know people will bust on me for this, but one person I would really, really love to meet before I die is Bono. I wrote a whole piece on that a few years ago. So far, I've only touched his elbow in a crowd.I'd also love to sit down with Clooney for an extended period of time. I've only done a short interview with him and chatting with him at parties/red carpet. Which, believe me, is a blessing. But he strikes me as someone who would be fun to hang out with for an evening. Preferably at his Italian villa. With a lot of wine.I am sure there are others...

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Mad Men Boy: How freaky is Glenn? I'm seriously scared for Sally.

Paul Williams: I believe you mean "Stanley." Because this is private.

Jen Chaney: I totally forgot to mention the Glenn issue in my Freddy post. But holy crap that kid is freaky. Even freakier since he happens to be the son of "Mad Men" creator Matthew Weiner."Son, I have a part for you on our show. I'd like you to play an adolescent who is borderline insane. Don't worry about your acting experience. Just, you know, be you."

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banned phrase: I teach writing and one of lessons is why you should avoid cliches. We have an entire lesson around Nickleback's "If today was your last day."

Jen Chaney: Finally! Nickelback serves a worthwhile purpose.And with that, I really do have to sign off. It's been a pleasure, as always.See you here next Thursday at 2. Thanks, all.


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