Fashion Fix: What to wear and where to find it

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Holly Thomas,Janet Bennett Kelly,Stephanie Dolgoff
Tuesday, October 12, 2010; 12:00 PM

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Janet Bennett Kelly: It's hard not to have a question on one of those subjects, so ask away. Goodies today are a "Best of Beauty" book and an Estee Lauder nail polish from the company's holiday line.

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Shoe Help: I desperately need a shoe makeover! I need help with what kind of shoe to wear with skirts. I typically wear skirts that come just above the knee, with a slight A-line to them, with tights. What kind of toe shape and heel should I be looking for? I think flats make my legs look stumpy, so I need some kind of heel. I get overwhelmed when I shop and don't know what to look for. Thank you!

Stephanie Dolgoff: I'm all about the wedge. Not only are they more comfortable and stable, you can get some height without crippling yourself like those poor women in China who bound their feet years ago. They're high in the front, too, so they feel like flats.

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no shampoo shampoo: hello ladies!i recently (in a bout of insomnia) was watching infomercials and one came up for Wen hair care, which is supposedly a shampoo that doesn't lather. supposedly using it is better for your hair and of course, all of the celebrity endorsers and models on the show had gorgeous, non frizzy hair. have you (or the readers) heard or used the products or something similar? is it ok if a shampoo doesn't get all foamy? i mean, is your hair still getting clean?

Holly Thomas: I've tried Wen, though it was a year or two back, and liked it well enough. My hair felt clean and conditioned, and once I got used to the non-lathering, I liked being able to use just one product. If you have especially fine or thin hair, you might not like the heavily-conditioned feeling, though ... and the price is on the high side.

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Seasonal wedding guest attire: I went to a wedding on Sunday and wore a light green dress with a dressy white short-sleeved shrug and metallic shoes. I felt "dressed up" enough; however, almost every other guest wore dark colors. For future reference, would it have been better to wear a darker dress or a darker shrug with the light-colored dress? (Although the calendar says fall, it was a warm day and felt like summer!)

Stephanie Dolgoff: YOu sound like you looked fantastic. I think those rules only apply to those who care about them...and you don't have to! One of the things I've learned in writing my book (which is partly about how to think about fashion now that you're no longer 21) is that there's nothing you can't wear, so long as you don't look like you're wearing a costume. I'd say as long as you feel good in it, that's what's important. You brought some much needed light into a dark crowd.

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Belt Repair?: Is there such a thing - I have a leather belt that has separated in one small area. Super glue no longer works because it is peeling. Or do I need to replace the leather entirely?

Janet Bennett Kelly: You could take the belt to a shoe repair place and see what the verdict is, but if the leather is peeling, I think it sounds iffy and you should think about getting a new belt.

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20001: I'm having issues with button down shirts and I was wondering if you have It seems no matter what size I buy, even if i feel like I am swimming in the shirt, the shirt gapes at the bust between the buttond, It's not pulling, just gaping.A clerk recommended adding a snap, but I can't figure out how to sew it on without it showing on the front. Any suggestions?Also, I am long in the torso, so I have a hard time keeping my shirts tucked in, does anyone make longer shirts? Thanks.

Stephanie Dolgoff: I ave the same exact problem. There's this double-sided tape that works great--I can't remember the name of it, but there are a few brands. It's what Jennifer Lopez used that time she wore that crazy dress that by all rights should have exposed everything. A small piece of that should keep the shirt together. I can't help you on the longer shirts, though.

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Bat Mitzvah dress: This is in response to a query about Bat Mitzvah dresses from last week. We just had my daughter's Bat Mitzvah and we had a terrible time finding her a proper dress for the service that was not too tight and too short. We went to many of the stores specializing in such outfits, but ultimately found a dress in Bloomingdale's in their young designer section (Nordstrom had some things on-line). The dress had sleeves and was not tight or short. The dress was reasonably priced too, compared with the dresses in the specialty stores that I did not find appropriate. We just kept looking, and buying, until we came up with a winner. I have to say I had more trouble finding that dress than my own for the service. I'm surprised there are not more stores in this area which specialize in dresses appropriate for religious services. I dislike the look of suits for young girls, but can certainly understand why people go that way if my experience was typical. My advice is to keep looking.

Janet Bennett Kelly: Words of advice for those searching for dresses appropo for religious services, like bat mitzvahs. Thanks for relating your experience.

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Gray with navy?: Dear ladies, I know you get this question a lot, but what kind of and color shoes should I wear with a nicely tailored, just-above-the-knee navy dress? I am a healthy weight but I have thick ankles, so, when I tried on the cute little booties that are in style right now, I looked stumpy and bad. Also, I can't justify buying another pair of black shoes and really want a different color. I was thinking either a gray or nude heel or wedge, maybe a snakeskin pattern or something. I'm a cheapskate, so I don't want to spend a lot of money, and comfort is really important to me. Thanks!

Stephanie Dolgoff: Yeah, those booties really cut one off at the ankle. I think snakeskin is a great option, and it's all over the place so you should be able to find it affordably. Sam Edelman is inexpensive and makes really nice, interesting flats so you don't have to opt for black. Grey is great--perhaps in a patent leather?

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beautiful success: posting early: This is more of a beauty question than a fashion dilemma. I used to think that women over a certain age shouldn't have longer hair, but mine is getting to about shoulder length and I confess I kind of like it. The only problem? I'd rather sleep for a few extra minutes each morning than wake up at dawn to wash and dry my fine straight hair, which tends to look greasy if not washed daily. Also I hear that shampooing too often is actually not great for your hair. Does anybody have tips for shampooing less often?

Holly Thomas: A few suggestions from a fellow late-sleeper: Try a dry shampoo spray or hair powder in between washes to soak up excess oil (or you can use a bit of baby powder in a pinch -- try sprinkling it on your brush or powdering your hands and running them through your hair). Swap out your current shampoo with one designed for oily hair -- Fekkai, HerCut, Phyto and Living Proof are good places to start. And finally, try to resist touching or playing with your hair during the day.

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Black pants, nude pumps..: ..no, not these 2 things together. First, I got a pair of black slim pants (like Audrey Hepburn would wear). Can't do a sweater like she did, as I have a bit of a tummy. Some suggestions on what sort of tops to wear? Can I wear heels with these pants? And what color tights will go with nude pumps in cold weather? Have been wearing them bare-legged since April. Thanks.

Holly Thomas: For the slim black pants, try them with a white button-down (crisp and tailored) or a simple tunic top that hits at mid-hip. You can definitely wear heels with them, but a ballet flat, penny loafer or driving moc are all classic options, too. As for nude pumps, they feel very spring/summer to me (because they look best with bare legs), so I'd retire them for the upcoming season.

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stylish boots: I have the budget for one pair of fabulous boots for this season. What style should I invest in? It seems like there are an array of options. Are over the knee boots worth the investment or do you think I'd be better off sticking with a more traditional riding boot style? I'm looking to spend no more than $150. thanks!

Janet Bennett Kelly: The choice depends on your wardrobe and what you think you'll wear the most.

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Stephanie Dolgoff: That is an AWESOME purse and I say don't care what anyone thinks--to a point. Your instinct is right in that it kind of takes over because it's so bright, and you do have to build the rest of your outfit around it. I love greys and olives and dark oranges with red, and I'd say it shouldn't be floral or a crazy print, but a subtle one is fine, like pinstripe or plaid. You just don't want another competing item on you that will take attention away. Jeans and a sweater--by all means.

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match colored jewelry to dress?: Hi, I just bought a gorgeous sapphire necklace that I'm excited to wear to an upcoming wedding. My question - if I wear a blue dress (medium blue with a little aqua in it) is that too matchy-matchy? Other option is a burgundy dress that's a little more autumnal....

Stephanie Dolgoff: I don't think that's too matchy matchy--it would be if you were wearing royal or a jewel-toned blue. It's hard to tell without seeing it, but you can pull off paletes of color. Burgundy and blue might be too much like school colors.

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Small-wristed gloves?: Hi, i can find gloves that fit in the fingers but tend to be baggy in the wrists and can end up leaving the glove feeling loose all over. Would you know where i can find/buy leather gloves for the skinny wristed or small handed gloves in general? Thanks.

Janet Bennett Kelly: And since it's still early, you may be able to find an even better selection. Any chatters have any suggestions?

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Dark Circles: Any recommendations on an under eye cream for dark circles?

Stephanie Dolgoff: Are you talking about a concealer or a cream to help eliminate them? I've been talking to my dermatologist about this quite a bit and she recommends products with caffeine in them, because they supposedly help boost circulation (the darkness is blood pooling, which happens more as you get older). I haven't seen one that has done a fantastic job, though. So I'd get yourself a great concealer. I love Laura Mercier's, and I've also had good luck with Boing, from Benefit. It's best if you dont' have lines, though, which of course I do! Laura Mercier.

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RE: WEN: I, too, have seen this infomercials late at night and the product seems horribly overpriced. I love how he insists you need something like 12 pumps - you'd go through that bottle so quickly! Anyway, in the winter when my already dry hair is even drier, I often skip the shampoo every other day. I just rinse really well, then condition. If you Google "co wash" (co = conditioner only), you'll find a ton of info. A lot of people recommend VO5 Kiwi Lime conditioner for this purpose. I've used it and it's great and a teensy fraction of the Wen stuff.

Holly Thomas: For what it's worth, I never used 12 pumps ... more like 4 or 5, and I had medium-length hair at the time. Skipping the shampoo every now and then isn't a bad idea; for those with dry hair, try shampoos that don't have sulfates (detergents that break up grease, stripping your hair of all its natural oils in the process). Kenra makes a couple good, sulfate-free options.

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RE: button down shirts: Try Rebecca & Drew. They have a bunch of shape and length options and they use double buttons so there's less area to gape. A bit expensive, but worth it if you wear button downs regularly. I have one white and one blue as basics, but otherwise I try to avoid button downs. There are so many work-appropriate non-button blouses and knits out there, that those of us with gaping issues can probably nix button downs altogether if we have a mind to.

Holly Thomas: Thanks for the suggestion!

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RE: No Shmpoo Shampoo: I tried the Wen hair products a while back, I did not like the way it made my hair feel. I have shoulder lenght wavy hair and it made it feel dirty as if I hadn't washed my hair in two days. I started using sulfate free shampoos and my hair feels a lot nicer. I like the Loreal brand.

Holly Thomas: A chatter weighs in about Wen ... thanks!

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New shoe excuse?: Hi Janet and Holly, I'm going to a nighttime wedding in a couple of weeks and I'm wearing a knee-length black lace dress with a goldy-nude underlay. I figure I'll wear black shoes but not sure what is in style. I'm in my early 40s. I have a pair of strappy heals that I got about 10 years ago. Should I look for the wider strap, thicker heal that I see everywhere?

Holly Thomas: Your dress sounds gorgeous! Strappy heels are ubiquitous at this point, and since yours are 10 years old, it's probably time to invest in something new. I'd keep the focus on your dress and opt for something classic and subtle (ie no straps), like an almond-toe pump in black patent. Something like this or this, maybe?

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Leesburg, VA: I am going back to grad school after several years at home. I need to seriously update my wardrobe but I have no idea where to start. I have a limited budget and I need pieces that are casual but smart and I am thinking that I should use a department store personal shopper. Do you (or anyone else) have any experience with any in NoVa?

Holly Thomas: chatters, can you help?

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Cozy sweater jacket: Where can i find a belted, cozy and chic sweater jacket? A funnel neck would be a plus as well! Thank you!

Janet Bennett Kelly: I just saw a cute sweater jacket in gray at Talbot's. No funnel neck, though.

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Shoes with Navy Dress: I think a nude patent shoe would look good with navy--either a heel or kitten heel if you want to be comfortable all day. My favorite shoe purchase recently though is a pair of pewter flats. They go with almost everything in my closet. I had no idea they would be so versatile when I bought them.

Stephanie Dolgoff: Pewter is a great choice--it's neutral but fresher than brown or black.

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Bat Mitzvah: Not sure what your other readers have suggested, as I missed the conversation last week.... but those looking for appropriate attire for religious services, proms, etc. might want to Google "modest wear" or "modest dresses." The results will range widely, but you can find some cute outfits that are reasonably modern but not revealing. Some of the early hits will be from very religious sites that carry clothes for Muslim and Orthodox Jewish women or clothes similar to Amish and Mennonite looks. But others cater simply to women and girls who want something pretty but less revealing that what is commonly sold. Also, many of them are individuals or cottage industries, so you can get well-made clothes instead of some of the cheap-quality that is in stores, and you can often specify fabrics or colors.

Janet Bennett Kelly: Thanks for the suggestion and for participating in the chat!

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Jewelry Suggestion: What kind of jewelry would you wear with this dress from Tadashi Shoji (http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod112820020&parentId=cat16350732&masterId=cat000116&index=1&cmCat=cat000000cat000001cat17740747cat3650732cat000116cat16350732) that would not take away from the dress itself (necklace for me is out of the question b/c of the neckline). I'm wearing this to an evening wedding. Thanks!

Stephanie Dolgoff: I'm not sure why a necklace is out of the question--because you don't want it calling attention to your cleavage? If that's the case, I'd wear a delicate pendant that hits you at the throat and draws the eye uptward, or a choker for the same reason. If you're not into that, that dress can support some brightly colored chandalier earrings--depending on your hair, of course. I do think whatever you wear should have a bit of color to it. If you do earrings, bangles that match would work.

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RE: Dark circles: I have found a great all-over concealer (Lancome) and it works well on my undereyes. I was looking for a cream to eliminate dark circles and am willing to try using it for longer than 4 weeks as my circles seem mostly hereditary (my insomniac probably doesn't help either) :(

Janet Bennett Kelly: But stick with what works for you!

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Pewter shoes, navy suit?: Wait, aren't we supposed to always wear shoes that are as dark or darker than our dresses or skirts?

Stephanie Dolgoff: What does "supposed to" mean? I don't believe in supposed tos when it comes to this. I think shoes are where you can go nuts and really express yourself, which (particularly when you're not 21 anymore) it's a little harder to do as you get older. I wouldn't wear white shoes because then you'd look like a nurse, but I say have fun with it.

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Men's Dress Shirt: I have a large neck of 17 inches but I have an athletic frame which makes all of the dress shirts in that size HUGE on me. Shirts that are "slim fit" fit my body but are too tight on my arms. Which do you think is a better solution, buying a normal dress shirt in the correct neck size and having it altered by a tailor or going the complete custom shirt route? How big of a price difference do you think there will be?Thanks.

Holly Thomas: It seems easiest, and probably most affordable in the long run, to go the custom route -- or at least the almost-custom route. I'd take a look at Indochino, which lets you customize dress shirts, suits and more for pretty reasonable prices. And for a local brand, try Hugh & Crye.

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Tops for Work: I'm realizing almost all of my tops for work are solid. Mostly sweaters, cap sleeve or 3/4 sleeve for fall, since I dislike ironing. I know I need to dress them up. Should jewelry do the trick? I always get overwhelmed looking at accessories because I think some of the rhinestone stuff looks too fussy for daytime wear. I have a few very simple necklaces, lie chains with small pendants, but they just don't seem to work right. Do you have any suggestions?

Stephanie Dolgoff: Jewelry or a great long scarf, wrapped around twice, serves the same purpose. It also sounds like you could get a little more interesting with your jewelry, like a choker or something a bit more colorful than simple pendants. You didn't say what you did for a living, but I find that the jewerly at the Museum Shop (random, I know) tends to fit in in a conservative environment and is a bit funky, too.

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Winter wedding in London: Hello - I'm going to a wedding in London on Nov. 27. I normally wear a black, strapless dress to winter weddings, with bright jewelry and heels. The problem with this wedding - I'm backpacking for 3 weeks before the wedding, so everything I pack needs to be functional. Any suggestions for wrinkle-resistant dresses that could work with boots or pointy-toe flats? Thanks!

Janet Bennett Kelly: If you could find a dressy knit dress, that would solve your packing problems right away. I can't point you in the exact direction, but since you have some time, check out stores like Talbot's, Loehmann's, J. Crew, Nordstrom, etc.

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Sweater RX: Ack! I guess I didn't store my sweaters properly over the summer and now a bunch of them (especially the cashmere ones, of course) have little moth holes in them. Do I have to trash them and go sweater shopping or is there a way to fix them? A couple of them are favorites and I'd be so sad to have to toss them. If there is a way to repair, do you have a place you'd recommend? I may have the little bags with extra thread that are sometimes included with sweaters in a drawer somewhere. I always wondered why they gave you those, now I know why.

Stephanie Dolgoff: Ugh! That stinks. I've done the same thing. It's a bit pricey but you can often bring them to a tailor who can reweave the holes together, depending on how big they are. I'd weed out just your favorites, though, because it can get pricey.

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personal shopper in NOVA: I've had lots of friends who had great success with personal shoppers at Nordstrom in Pentagon City.

Holly Thomas: For the chatter looking for a personal shopper ....

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big belts: Hello there. I've recently bought a really pretty 3 inch wide belt (http://www.garnethill.com/garnet-hill-leather-cutout-belt/sale-clearance/-50-under/16797) with the intention of wearing it at my natural waist over turtlenecks, t-shirt-type material shirts and maybe cardigans or a dress, if I can find one. I'm wearing it today, but I'm not sure if I should tuck in my shirt or let it come below the belt? And I'm wearing it a bit saggy instead of fitting tightly on my waist, but it is pain as it rides up, my shirt comes up above, it, etc.Any tips to this style?Thanks.

Janet Bennett Kelly: Okay if you leave the shirt untucked.

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what color tights to wear: I just got a great rust-colored, short wool skirt on sale at J.Crew. I'd love to wear it with my dark brown boots (riding with a bit of a cowboy boot look), but I'm unsure of what color tights to wear. Would it look weird to try to match the boots and tights? I'm worried I wouldn't be able to find an exact match and it would look off. But I'm worried about looking too multi-colored if I wear another color. Thoughts? Thanks!

Stephanie Dolgoff: I know exactly the issue. I'd say if you got dark brown tights, they wouldn't have to match exactly and because they're tights, you wouldn't look as if you were trying. Does that make sense? If you were wearing black boots and black tights, no one would think that was odd because one is leather and the other is wool or nylon. I also think it would help if they were textured, which would further differentiate them, even as it made your legs look like one long line of color.

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Backpacker to Wedding: Go shopping when you arrive in London! I'd much rather plan on that than deal with a wrinkled frock and the shoe conundrum.

Janet Bennett Kelly: This chatter says buy a dress in London. A fun thing to do, but can be risky if you don't find the one you want.

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Re: dressing knit dress for a wedding: The chatter who's London-bound and needs a wrinkle-resistant dress should check out DVF. Her silk knits travel beautifully -- just hang the dress in the bathroom while you shower, and the wrinkles will steam right out. Not cheap, no, but something you'll be able to wear for years.

Janet Bennett Kelly: Thanks. Good suggestion. Are you listening, London-bound traveler who needs wrinkle-resistant dress?

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RE: Moth holes: Parway Custom Drycleaning in Chevy Chase does a good job on little holes like that. I've had them fix 3-4 sweaters and I think they were only about $10 each. Definitely worth looking into!

Janet Bennett Kelly: For the moth hole problem, try Parkway Custom Drycleaning. It could save you having to replace your sweater wardrobe.

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Engagement Party: I have an engagement party to attend this weekend at the groom's parents' house. I'm struggling to find something to wear. Do you know of any stores still selling maxi-dresses? I hate my legs, so I was hoping to find one that I could wear a light cardigan with and dress up with jewelry.

Stephanie Dolgoff: I'm not in the DC area, so I can't speak to specific stores, but maxi dresses do seem to be a summer thing. I'll bet you could find a really cool maxi skirt, however.

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Sequins!: On a whim, I bought a matte gold sequin mini skirt from Faith 21 -- more texture than shine -- to wear for a New Year's Eve party or my 33rd birthday or something fun. But what to wear with it? It's surprisingly flattering. (Note to curvy girls: Don't be afraid to try things on that fall outside your "comfort zone"...You never know!)

Holly Thomas: I love this idea -- both that you're wearing something fun (yay sequins!) and that you're experimenting with your style. And kudos on the matte sequins -- much better than a bottom half that looks like a disco ball. Since it's mini, I'd balance your silhouette with something long-sleeved (like a tissue-weight black cashmere sweater in a turtleneck or crewneck) or something drapey and fluid (like a black jersey t-shirt). Finish up with black pumps and you'll be set!

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tall boots for skinny legs: I apparently have very skinny calves, because when I try on most tall boots (riding boots or boots with a high heel), they fit like galoshes. I tried on a pair of Jimmy Choo boots at Nordstroms, and they fit perfectly, but I can't justify $900 on shoes. I'd like a pair of office-appropriate boots to wear this winter with a skirt. Any suggestions for brands that run slim in the calves?

Janet Bennett Kelly: Also, try some in a suede or suede-like material, which also can be more form-fitting. Anyone have other ideas for finding boots for thin-calved women.

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Sweater Dress: I'd like to get a sweater dress - I love the look! - but I don't wear dresses very often. Any suggestions for how to pick one? Length? (I am petite with a large bust and hips) Shoes? (Do they have to be boots?) Any designers you'd recommend? Thanks!

Stephanie Dolgoff: I find sweater dresses to be tough, period, but particularly on shorter, shapely women. If I were you I'd go for an A-line cut (rather than one with a band across the bottom that you'd blouse out) and one in a thinner knit, since they tend to get bulky. Shoes would depend on length, but if it's on the short side, high boots.

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Avoiding the "mom" jean: Question for Stephanie - any advice on what jeans look right for a woman over 45? Don't want a mom jean, of course, but I also don't feel comfortable in the cuts that the 20-somethings are wearing. thanks for your help!

Stephanie Dolgoff: I am so glad you asked that--huge issue. I don't know your body type, but I've found that Joe's Jeans makes cuts that are great. The "Muse" cut is slightly higher waisted, but not like those retro jeans that Jessica Simpson got mocked for wearing. They hold in your belly (which, if it's like mine, is a bit on the looser side these days) but still look current. There are other cuts depending on your body type, and his jeans are still cool, so you don't feel like a frump. I also like James Jeans--don't be put off by all the skinny styles because he also makes ones for folks who can't or don't want to pull that off. I just did this post http://www.formerlyhot.com/2010/10/my-daughters-jeans/about Not Your Daughter's Jeans. I've never tried them but commenters dug them.

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winter dress: Years ago, I had a knit dress (from Land's End, I think)-- sort of a heavy-weight Tshirt knit fabric. Had a nice drape/feel. Elastic-gathered waist, long sleeves, long skirt. Wore it with boots in the winter or low heels and loved it. Hugely easy get-dressed-and-go piece. Would love to find it again but can't seem to. All I see are at- or above-knee lengths and/or short sleeves. I want long/long. Any ideas? Also, I am a little larger than I was then... sigh... so until I succeed at my current drive to drop, something more flattering for ahem... "generous curves"... woudl be great. Thanks!

Holly Thomas: I found a few options, though none with an elastic waist -- but you're better off with a wide belt anyway! Here's a boatneck dress from J. Jill, and a sleek option from Newport News (with built-in shapewear). Chadwicks has a couple options too, but their website is moving incredibly slow at the moment...

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RE: Sweater dress: I am short and petite as well and love wearing sweater dresses that are knee lenght and form-fitting but pair a long cardigan over it and put a belt on @ the waist. Comfortable and chic! I wear flats (if it's not too cold outside) or knee high boots and tights.

Stephanie Dolgoff: The long cardigan is a great idea--lengthens everything. Just make sure it's a bit longer than the sweater dress.

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Women's blazers: I'm a middle aged woman who's shopping for an updated blazer. What's the current style - wide or narrow lapels? What about no lapels? Short (just below the waist) or long length?

Janet Bennett Kelly: How about this one from Talbot's?

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Holly Thomas: Thanks for joining us today, and we hope you enjoyed bouncing some questions off our guest, Stephanie Dolgoff! For the chatter who suggested a DVF silk knit dress for the backpacking wedding-goer, we have the new "Best in Beauty" book; for the one who suggested Rebecca & Drew for dress shirts that don't gape, we have the Estee Lauder nail polish. Email your info to fashion@washpost.com and we'll get those out to you. We'll be on hiatus next week, but we'll be back to chat with you again on Oct. 26!


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