'Jon & Kate Plus 8' Adds a New Twist: Division
The entire celebrity suck-up industry waited breathlessly last night to hear Jon and Kate Gosselin announce that they are separating on the TLC reality series "Jon & Kate Plus 8." "We have decided to separate," Jon told the camera after endless teasing.
"I was too passive -- I let her rule the roost. . . . I went along with everything and finally stood up on my two feet and I'm proud of myself," henpecked Jon added.
"I will remain here . . . during my portion of having [the kids]. Jon will . . . come here when it is his days and we will flip-flop," Kate said. "So while I know it is going to be hard for them and it's not what I wanted, and it is very difficult, it is going to be the best and the most peaceful for them.
"We've always done the show for the kids -- to provide for them," she said. "I don't want to do this alone, but it's required and I've got to do it."
Yesterday, "Legal proceedings were initiated in Pennsylvania to dissolve the 10-year marriage of Jon and Kate Gosselin," the show stated, pretentiously, on-screen, dashing Web site Defamer's hopes for a trial separation followed by endless rounds of counseling, reconciliation, spats, etc. Because, of course, that would provide riveting TV material for weeks and weeks. Thirty-six weeks, to be exact, which is the number of episodes left in the fifth season of this TV train wreck, which set out to document the difficulty in raising eight little kids. Now, of course, it's documenting the hazard of a guy who looks like Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle dragged through a hedge backward -- the kind of guy who while running from a mugger would stop to stare at a window on which the words "Stare at This Window" had been scrawled -- marrying and having children with a tough modern thug with flashing eyes and an odd habit of wearing a dead bleached animal on her head, who has a tendency to address her husband in such a way as to cause his toes to curl up inside his shoes like the tendrils of some sensitive plant.
Various celebrity suck-up venues were reporting over the weekend that Jon was scouting for apartments in N.Y.C., and People magazine reported the Gosselins filed documents to initiate a legal split at the Bucks County Courthouse in Reading, Pa., yesterday afternoon.
Meanwhile, Life & Style reported breathlessly that Jon's longtime pal Brian Sep confirmed Jon will live "and work" in New York City during the week and stay at home with the kids in Pennsylvania on Friday, Saturday and Sunday while Kate goes elsewhere.
"He doesn't know where Kate is when he's gone [but] I think that's okay with him," Sep told Life & Style. This seems strange, given Sep had just said Kate had responsibility for the kids at home when Jon is gone -- wouldn't Jon want to know that for sure?
No celebrity suck-up vehicle was more deeply invested in last night's announcement than Us magazine, which put Jon & Kate and some of the 8 on its cover on: