On Love

'I would rather be with her than with anybody'

When Neil Canfield and Elise Baran first met during a summer internship in 2005, neither expected their feelings towards each another to grow so quickly. Despite extended periods of doing the long distance relationship thing, nearly five years later, the couple became husband and wife.
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, April 25, 2010

In the summer of 2005, Elise Baran and Neil Canfield did what thousands of eager college students will do over the next few weeks: They came to Washington and sorted mail.

On his first morning as an intern with Sen. Richard G. Lugar, Canfield was at his desk when "this cute, dressed-up girl" approached, he recalls, "with her arm outstretched, very self confidently and says, 'Hello, I'm Elise Baran.' It was sort of like 'Who are you?' "

Canfield, a senior at Denison University, and Baran, a junior at Brown University, got assigned to mail duty that afternoon and were teamed up on a public relations project for the rest of the week. By the middle of the following week there was "a definite crush and the thought of a summer fling," says Canfield, who was trying to "figure out how to make a first date happen."

His plans for a group outing to a baseball game fell through, so after "a moment of panic," Canfield, then 21, regrouped and asked Baran out to dinner, just the two of them. A senior staffer caught them splitting a pitcher of sangria, but it didn't dampen the mood -- the evening ended with a kiss.

That summer was a rush of days and nights together, exploring Washington, cooking together and hanging out with other interns. And after seven weeks -- and no discussion of where things were headed -- Baran drove Canfield to the airport.

"We kind of both looked at it like the endless summer," Canfield recalls. "But then once she dropped me off and I came into the airport, I remember sort of looking back and feeling like this sort of magical moment was ending."

There was little expectation that their romance would continue; that wasn't the way these things usually worked. Besides, Baran, who was recently out of a long-term relationship, was heading to Poland for a semester abroad.

But their e-mails became a daily routine, and Canfield bought international phone cards at Wal-Mart to call Baran once a week. "We weren't dating at that point," he says. "It was just kind of keeping up."

Her return trip that December included a layover at O'Hare Airport in Chicago. Canfield, who grew up in Grand Rapids, Mich., told Baran that Chicago was directly on his route home from Denison, in central Ohio, and that he'd stop by to see her. Because of what Baran calls her "lack of knowledge of Midwestern geography," she didn't realize that instead of the normal five hours it would take him to get to Grand Rapids, Canfield would be driving eight to reach Chicago.

Baran didn't have a cellphone at the time, so Canfield wandered from terminal to termial looking for her. When he finally spotted her, they had less than an hour together before Baran had to catch her next flight, and Canfield would drive another 3 1/2 hours to get home.

"It was like, 'Oh, you're still real,' " Baran recalls of the visit. "He was still invested."

By the following spring, it was clear that Canfield would be moving to Washington after graduation to take a research position at a law firm. Baran, who grew up in Alexandria, was also coming back that summer for another internship. She flew to Ohio for his fraternity formal and that, Baran says, "was when we really started dating again."

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