Week 879: Say Venn: Make a clever Venn diagram; and readers 'learn from my fail'
It's time for a little graphic humor. This week: Express some sentiment in the form of a Venn diagram, as in the ones here by graphic artist Frank Chimero, a.k.a. Frank Sparrow. It can have two or three circles; any more and we'd have trouble making it readable in print. You don't have to draw the diagram; just give us the text and we'll take care of the artwork (e.g., "First circle . . . Second, smaller circle . . . Very small intersecting area between the first and second . . ."). If you do want to create your own graphic, enclose it as an attachment and make sure we can reach you at your e-mail address. And spell correctly. Note: Your techno-purists will likely point out that the examples above are pointing out commonalities while not really overlapping; we might not be overly rigorous on logic this week either.
Winner gets the Inker, the Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a little bag of "Shark Poo" from Naples, Fla.; some "Seagull Poop" from nearby Fort Myers (both donated by Beverley Sharp); and a sack of "Bear Poop" from Estes Park, Colo., courtesy of Melissa Yorks. They are all evidently pieces of chocolate. We'll call this triple prize a scat trick -- or a pu-pu-pu platter.
Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Mon., Aug. 2. Put "Week 879" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results to be published Aug. 21. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results was sent by both Tom Witte and Kevin Dopart; Kevin also wrote this week's honorable-mentions subhead.
Report from Week 875
In which we asked for real or fictional "Learn From My Fail" life lessons in 30 words or fewer: Unless the Loser -- this week, we mean that in both the uppercase and lowercase senses -- insisted that the fail actually happened, we assume that nobody would be that dumb.
The winner of the Inker
If you and your best friend decide to get matching tattoos, don't go first. (Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)
2. the winner of "The Art of the Bonsai Potato": Even if the traffic reporter on the radio says "backup on the Beltway," it's best not to do it. (Russell Beland, Fairfax)
3. Ask questions -- don't answer them. -- H. Thomas, Washington (Kevin d'Eustachio, Beltsville)
4. A bank teller won't fall for "I come from the future where guns are invisible" when you try to rob her. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)
Passing fails : Honorable mentions
Slipping your finger in through the leg hole is not best way to check a diaper. (Andy Wolodkin, Frostburg, Md., a First Offender)
Don't hire plumbers to do wiring. -- R. Nixon (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)
Don't pack last year's summer clothes and expect that they haven't shrunk in the past 12 months. (Beverley Sharp, Washington)
Besides love, you might need a bodyguard. -- J. Lennon, No Heaven (Randy Lee, Burke)