Carolyn Hax: She gained, he strayed: Weighty issues, part 2

(Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post)
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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Adapted from a recent online discussion -- continued from yesterday: "Undisclosed location," infidelity, weight gain, and feeling attractive vs. attracted.

Dear Carolyn:

I do give my wife compliments. She is quite beautiful.

I actually get few in return, hence my not-feeling-appreciated comment [yesterday].

It ain't like I don't TRY. I just got sick of trying there for a minute. Lost my bearings.

Undisclosed location

That's your cue to try something different -- starting with the truth about how discouraged you feel.

To undisclosed location:

Being told I was too big was actually exactly what I needed hear in order to make changes I knew I needed. Most importantly, I knew I was still loved. I had begun to doubt we were in a relationship at all.

It was handled in the right way (I am worried about you, I love you, I am not attracted to you physically right now) and was a welcome relief because I didn't want my relationship to end.

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