Carolyn Hax: She gained, he strayed: Weighty issues, part 2
Adapted from a recent online discussion -- continued from yesterday: "Undisclosed location," infidelity, weight gain, and feeling attractive vs. attracted.
I do give my wife compliments. She is quite beautiful.
I actually get few in return, hence my not-feeling-appreciated comment [yesterday].
It ain't like I don't TRY. I just got sick of trying there for a minute. Lost my bearings.
That's your cue to try something different -- starting with the truth about how discouraged you feel.
To undisclosed location:
Being told I was too big was actually exactly what I needed hear in order to make changes I knew I needed. Most importantly, I knew I was still loved. I had begun to doubt we were in a relationship at all.
It was handled in the right way (I am worried about you, I love you, I am not attracted to you physically right now) and was a welcome relief because I didn't want my relationship to end.