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Carolyn Hax: Marriage skeptic overlooks evidence

(Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post)
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Thursday, September 16, 2010

Adapted from a recent online discussion:

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Dear Carolyn:

Why do women keep believing in marriage when all evidence points to the contrary?

Va.

"All" evidence? That seems a bit skewed. There are definitely some significant, generalized benefits to marriage that women -- and men -- enjoy, and there are some individually awesome marriages.

That said, I think it's a mistake to believe in marriage. You have to believe in the person you're marrying; then, and only then, does marriage make sense.

Dear Carolyn:

My girlfriend of two years wants us to go to counseling together. I think that would be appropriate if we were planning a future together, which we aren't at this point, and a waste of time and money otherwise. I guess I believe that if she isn't satisfied with our relationship at this point, it will only get worse from here. She has not issued any ultimatums, but I still feel like if I refuse to go, it'll be the same as saying I've checked out of our relationship. Do you think there's any way I can refuse to go without having to break up with her?


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