Style Invitational Week 890: A contest to combine two sports team names
Atlanta Falcons + Cincinnati Bengals = Fal Gals, a women's team with such potty mouths that the networks can't use mikes on the sidelines.
Here's a suggestion from erstwhile Loser Jon Reiser: Combine the names of any two pro sports teams -- even from different sports -- and describe the result.
Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place wins a collectible (or would be if it didn't have a little crack in the horn) cow standing in a gondola and wearing a gondolier costume, except in the daringly naked udder area. Gondi, let's call her, weighs several pounds and balances on a gondola well over a foot long. Donated by Cheryl Davis.
Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Oct. 25. Put "Week 890" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results to be published Nov. 13. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results is by Dave Prevar; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Kevin Dopart.
Report from Week 886
in which we asked you to coin and define a word or term that was a palindrome. Among those too frequently submitted were STINKKNITS (smelly sweaters), BUTTUB (bidet), NERDREN (dorks' offspring) and LAPPAL (friend with benefits).
The winner of the Inker
AHA HAHA: When you finally get the joke. (Tom Flaherty, Culpeper, Va., a First Offender)
2. winner of the weird pink fluffy elephant marionette:
EGADAGE: "Heck," "darn," etc. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn)
3. NAMETAG-GATEMAN: The conference organizer who won't let you enter until you've ruined your jacket with adhesive paper. (Dion Black, Washington)
4. AMENEMA: Blessed relief. (Anne Morgan, Fairfax, a First Offender)
FUN ENUF: HONORABLE MENTIONS
DROWSYSWORD: Impotence. (Roy Ashley, Washington)
G.I. GAGA GIG: A flamboyant concert to support the overturning of "don't ask, don't tell." (Nan Reiner, Alexandria)