Learning to navigate the waters of motherhood can be tricky, especially when so many moms view parenting as a competitive sport. We asked Rosalind Wiseman, "Family Circle" magazine columnist and author of "Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads: Dealing with the Difficult Parents in Your Child's Life," for a few helpful tips.

Know thyself. "Moms can convince themselves that they're reaching out because they'd like the children to be friends, when what's going on under the surface can be completely different. Before you reach out to another mom, study your true intentions. If you want to get to know another parent better, be honest about that."

Get your small talk on. "You don't have to be fake or superficial, but knowing how to chit-chat will help you. You're going to need social skills to get through parenting -- you're going to have to reach out to other parents at some point -- so make the effort."

Let the kids' activities be a bond. "If your kids have the same interests, like sports or the arts, do a bit of socializing at practices and events. Try rooting for another parent's kid at a game, for example. It builds team spirit and takes the pressure off your own kid, who's probably embarrassed that you're on the sidelines yelling for them."

Pull 'em into neutral territory. "Have the mom and the kid over to your house for a play date. This will either challenge or verify your assessment of them. You can end it there if you don't click."

It's all in the eyes. "Pay close attention to how a mom or a group of moms react to you. If you feel included, they'll literally make a place for you in their group. But if they look you up and down, go elsewhere. Do you really need another set of completely dysfunctional relationships to contend with just so that you know [the name of] the school's best second grade science teacher? And sadly, their kids will probably be just like them."

Teaming up. "If you have time, offer to volunteer at school with another mom. Co-leading something can be a good bonding experience. Make the offer face-to-face or on the phone. E-mail can be impersonal."

Taking it further. "If you get along with another mom, invite her to do something social that's not child-oriented, like coming to your book club meeting or playing cards. But don't extend the 'girls' night out' thing until you know you really like her. That's too much like a date."

Just say no! "Stay away carpool pickup lanes and auctions at private schools. Too much gossip in one and the other is a total popularity war."