We greet the new dawn the only way we know how -- by making a List. Because we've always believed that we're the change we've been waiting for, and because there's nothing like the morning after Election Day for bold proclamations. The culture wars? (Still in.) Hope? (Very in.) The Bible Belt? (A little too tight.)

Here's what's in: Unreal Americans in the unreal America, which turns out to be anyplace and anyone, dreaming our crazy little dreams, making three-pointers from the outside. It's the return of eloquence, of high grades, of cool under pressure. But before we go into that beckoning light, can we have just a little more fancy pageant walkin' from Miss Congeniality? Please?