You're starting to believe those people who claim the White House is planning for the Rapture. You tell us to ease up on the elitist, big-media snark. Maybe play it safe, watch our language, cancel that gay wedding, crosscheck our wardrobe functions.
Ai'ight, we feel ya. But still we must insist on The List-even in End Times, it's a thing of intelligent design. Here's what's out: People who use their cell phones as walkie-talkies. Demagogues. Soldiers who get their jollies from torture. Gucci. Celebregnancy. Cutesy restaurant desserts. (Gourmet cotton candy? Homemade marshmallows? We're full, thanks.)
And what's in, pray tell? Funny you should mention prayer. Conspicuous piety is hot, and not just as a foreign policy-hence our bonus List below. Notice the new piety in those yellow Lance Armstrong cancer bracelets. See it in action on "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," the show where the holy carpenter-we mean Ty Pennington, not Christ-and his disciples descend from blueish America to perform tract-house miracles in needy, reddish America. The stars of that show talk and talk about how good they feel when they do good. If you want to be trendy in 2005, keep letting the world know what a great, great person you are. Let everyone know it a lot. The Man's coming, so look busy.