Wednesday, May 3, 2000, 1 pm EDT

Vic Sussman By Reginald Pearman, Jr/ washingtonpost.com

What works?

What doesn't?

What stinks?

What zings?

Welcome to Love It, Hate It, Rate It! An hour or more of reader-generated rooting, ranting and raving about things, events and people--good, bad and indifferent. Whether you're a cynic or Little Mary Sunshine incarnate, this is your chance to ask questions, make rash statements, believe three impossible things before breakfast and tickle your keyboard as you pick at the social fabric.

Tell the world, such as it is, who's great or merely grating. Pin a label on it: Heaven or Hype? What's in, what's out, what's phat or just goes splat?

Your host is Live Online's executive snagglepuss, Vic Sussman, who emits an unearthly blue light from his forehead when annoyed.

Sussman has a long background in broadcasting and print journalism. The author of three nonfiction books, he was previously the Personal Tech columnist for The Washington Post Magazine, Book World's audio book reviewer, and a senior editor specializing in cyberspace at U.S.News & World Report. Sussman's interests veer wildly from the vagaries of computer-mediated communication to the skeptical subculture, weight lifting, and magic as a performance art. He is not a minion of Satan, but negotiations continue.

Below is today's transcript.

Vic Sussman: And a good EDT afternoon to everyone who is supposed to be working and is instead wisely using the next hour or so to access LIHIRI, the Web program with Secret Hat Messages (sorry, Macophiles), a definitely strange audience (takes one to know one) and rants and raves on just about everything.

My own rant today concerns not little Cuban kids, surprise, but the state of some of the big chain bookstores. Not a major issue for many of you, I know, but here goes: How come every damned time I enter a Barnes & Noble store these days, I find almost every table in the cafe and nearly every big fat easy chair occupied by a student? I assume they are students of something, because they have laid out textbooks, note pads and laptop computers on the tables and are apparently hard at work studying, writing papers or preparing for exams. Or, looking very much like neo-realistic soft sculptures, they are sprawled in the easy chairs, their books and notes in their laps. And they stay there all day and all night, rotating shifts of these semi-permanent residents.


They are squatters, whatever their lofty educational goals. They don't buy anything, it appears, except an occasional cup of coffee. What they do is take up the space that might and should be used by legit browsers, people like me who want to sit for a limited time, flipping through the pages of a book. A book they might actually buy.

As it stands now, these Table Hogs are using a commercial establishment as a study hall or public library. Message from Vic: Get the hell out! Get a life, get a library card, study in your car, go to the park, stay home and drive your parents crazy, get a job, get a life. Get out of the bookstore and smell the coffee, especially since you're too cheap to buy any.

Woo. Am I overreacting? Of course. But I'm angry about not being able to find a place to sit in a bookstore--and what good is a bookstore without a place to sit and browse--because a bunch of selfish "kids" are camped out for most of the store hours. Round 'em, move 'em out!

I have nothing against students. I was one. In many ways I still am. I was a college professor, so I've been up to my ankles in students. But folks, the Barnes & Noble management (and I can say the same about Borders) has to develop a corporate backbone and perhaps a policy that limits the time one can hog a table. Somebody at B&N has to have the guts to walk up to these folks and say, "Excuse me, but you've been sitting at this table for four hours and now it's time to gather your stuff and hit the road." Or words to that effect.

And I didn't even tell you about the time I saw a so-called homeless guy using one of those big fat easy chairs as a crash pad. Nobody asked him to leave either, further evidence that political correctness, if that's what this is, has made weenies of much of the population.

Note to bookstore managers: There are times when you have to stand up, be tough, and throw the miscreants out. Hit them over the head with the Oxford Dictionary, if you must, but get them out.

Yes, LIHIRI fans, you heard it here first: BOOKSTORE RAGE!

Okay. I'm done. I've wiped the spittle off my screen and the sweat off my brow.

Now it's your turn.

And I think to myself...:
Hey Vic:

How about a positive message for today's hat quote? Here is an inspirational message from one of the century's great boddhisatvas, Mr. Louis Armstrong:

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful
world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world...

Lighten up everybody-- no one here gets out alive.

Vic Sussman:
Well, I think today's message is indeed inspirational and positive. Not like the Jack Kerouac quote from last week ("I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference"). Has anybody guessed the source of today's quote? I'll post the exact quote later for Mac users.

And btw, are you sure these words are really Armstrong's? Did he write the lyrics for this song or just perform it? And have you swept me into a copyright violation? Don't I have enough trouble already? Are you trying to bump the hat off? Yikes.

Virginia: Hey...

Writing in early today since I can't join you live.

Here are my rants and raves for the week.

LOVE IT: El Gran Combo. A salsa group from PR that has been around for 38 years. Some of the best music ever!

HATE IT: That I couldn't enjoy El Gran Combo due to smokers at the VA civic Center. Being I am allergic to smoke, I can't be around it for more than 15 mins or so before I get sick. There was no NON-SMOKING area provided (like it matters...smokers could care less it seems). So, I was miserable and left about 1-2 hours early.

RATE IT: Smokers would have no respect for those of us who get very sick anywhere near smoke 0 out of 10

Pardon the "hate smoke" post but I would just like, for once, to be able to enjoy a night out without dreading "how much smoke will there be".

Vic Sussman:
You're right about the smoke and the attitude of many smokers. I've passed on many a night in a jazz club because I couldn't sit for hours in a blue haze, polluting my lungs as I tried to enjoy the music. And just the other day I watched a moron flick a lit cigarette out of his car window. Smokey the Bear should be mauling or eating these people instead of just warning them. We could scream "Death to Smokers!" but they've already taken care of that themselves...

State College, PA:
LI: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and especially Angel, the show after it on the WB. They're teen-oriented, but oh so well written.

LI: Today's weather here. Beautiful and sunny and WARM!

HI: That at 25 I am too old to be considered cute or fun in a college town... Where oh where are the mature guys?!?

RI: Drunken undergrads partying because finals are this week: 0/10.

Vic Sussman: I am a Buffy fan too. Which proves that I am a case of arrested development. The show is fast and funny, awash in self-parody, and original. That's more than you can say of most stuff on the tube.

And whoa! At 25 you're not considered cute or fun? In a college town? Carolyn Hax I'm not, but your problem might just be that the town is too full of callow youth. Let's face it: Most guys are jerks and sleepwalkers when it comes to appreciating women of almost any age.

Get out of town.

va: HI: That the post is essentially giving "free advertising" to congressman Diaz-Balart, who is currently finishing up a discussion where he is blatantly ignoring the questions of anyone who disagrees with him. Why is the post doing this? Does the congressman even SEE the questions of dissenters, or are only the fluffy, happy questions forwarded to him?

Vic Sussman: The Congressman gets to choose the questions. There is nothing deceptive about this. In fact, you've proved the point that it's obvious when a guest only answers softball questions.

So you learned something today about a public official.

Say thank you to Live Online.

Automatic for the People: LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT:

The guy who mooned John Rocker!!!

Vic Sussman: Yes, but the metaphorical ramifications went right over Rocker's head. Too subtle.

Arlington, VA: LI: Carolyn Hax at 3pm on Mondays. Good move!

LI2: That Carolyn has the freedom to use the s-word in her discussion.

LI3: That in spite of the freedom she (and I assume, the other hosts) has, she usually chooses NOT to use that kind of language.

HI: The badgering she went through to get to that point. She took a lot of guff for an answer in her Friday column last week.

I feel so privileged to be here....

Vic Sussman: Yes, Carolyn and I agreed to move her to 3 pm on Mondays so we could appeal to West Coasters with a noon time discussion. But let's face it: Hax is great and compelling at any time of the day.

mt vernon: "Live the Life You've Imagined."
---Henry David Thoreau

Do I win? Do I? Do I?

Vic Sussman: You win!
Very good.

I have no idea what you've won (immense satisfaction at beating the corporate machine, maybe) but you can pick it up at the side door.

Somewhere, USA: love the quote....who is the author??

Vic Sussman: See above.

Laurel, MD: Re: smokers, you're right, many just don't care about other people or smoking rules. Why, just last week, I saw a person smoking a cigarette on the Metro platform. Where do you think he deposited the butt? He threw it ON THE TRACK! And this was just 2 days after that big Metro fire! Aren't the Metro tracks high voltage?

Vic Sussman: Yes, but I don't think a lit cigarette would interact with high voltage. This would be a first. Still, you're right about the idiot tossing away his butt, so to speak.

Ohhh, let's face it on this beautiful spring day in our Nation's Capital: We are increasingly surrounded by fools, not all of whom hold elective office.

I'm either cranky today or more truthful than usual. Choose one.

Annapolis, MD: Hey Vic,

I have noticed in past discussions that you have a strong dislike for dance-type aerobics and circuit training (combining weights and cardio in the same workout). I was wondering what your dislike stems from. Did you try it and it didn't work for you, or do you have some medical-fitness knowledge that says this type of workout is dangerous?

Incidently, I have been doing the circuit training and dance type aerobics at my local Jazzercise facility for about six weeks now. I am please with the changed in my body (clothes are fitting better, more defined muscles, increased cardiovascular capacity) and I have thoroughly enjoyed myself at these workouts even though every time I leave exhausted, sweaty, and slightly sore.

I just want to make sure I have the information to make an intelligent decision about the kind of workout I use to maintain my health. So, what say you, o wise Iron Vic?

Vic Sussman: I don't have a strong dislike for it. I'm in favor of anything that works for you. I applaud and respect your tenacity in actually sticking to an exercise regimen. Most people bail out after three months at the most.

That said, I think the overall best combination for weight loss, muscle building, bone health, flexibility and well being is a combination of intense resistance training, preferably free-weights, and cardio. That and a good diet that eschews (no pun intended) junk food and fat globules.

It's worked for decades for body builders and weight lifters and it will work for anyone willing to make the effort.

The other factor is the human body's incredible ability to adapt to stress. Whatever you do for exercise has to be tweaked at least monthly, either by upping the intensity or changing the routine, or your body will adapt and you'll stop making progress.

VicFanLand: Hiya Vic,

Early submission, since I'll be out during the discussion (not chat!).

HI: People discussing personal matters on the phone at work for everyone to hear. I really don't need to hear every detail of your dog's current gastrointestinal distress as described to your vet. Yes, these things have to be taken care of, but can you possibly take it to a private conference room or a cell phone? Please? It just contributes to a new category of anger: cubicle rage!

LI, LI, LI: The scrumptious weather. Makes me want to dress like a girl. (Which I am. Just to clarify.)

RI: Progress in the Alexandria boy's stabbing investigation: 4 of 10. Not that I don't think police are trying, of course -- they're doing the best anyone can. But what gives with the cab driver? A guy gets into his cab covered with blood, hands him a (literally) bloody 20, and he spends the evidence? Didn't he think MAYBE that might be worth mentioning to police?

Did I read correctly that the latest reward offered for info in this case is half what was being offered in the death of Leo the dog? I'm a huge animal lover, but I think a child's death ought to merit at least as much as a dog's. You think?

Love the show, sorry I'm missing it live!

Vic Sussman: Interesting take on things, from dorks on the office phones to murder. Do I love this audience or what?

What stopped me was your line about "dressing like a girl."

What a sweet and unaffected image. And so un-PC, thank goodness.

Perfect for a spring day.

arlington: So Vic,
I work on a mac and have yet to see your
alt tag. Today I went in to view source and
read it. I guess you would call that a work
around.

Vic Sussman: Thank you for your diligence. The entire quote is above, however, for all to see. And it wasn't cranky, even though Henry Thoreau was a world-class crank.

A friend once said of him, "You can love Henry but it's hard to like him."

Wheaton MD: Vic,
I couldn't remember your email, so I'm submitting on your discussion.
Did you read the transcript of yesterday's discussion with Sharon "I dunno" Waxman? This has the potential to be a really good hour, but Sharon Waxman is TERRIBLE!! At least half a dozen answers yesterday were "don't know, I'm clueless, couldn't tell ya" or just plain "I don't do that". This woman has an attitude and a half, and actually posted a response a few weeks ago with " I have to explain everything to you people". She had the gall to YOU PEOPLE us! Yesterday she wrote "I can't believe they are paying me to do this" - Vic, I can't believe it either - she sucks, and miserably.
This discussion has great possibilities for me to continue to goof off at my boring job, but Sharon Waxman just isn't up to the standards of Kim O'Donnel, Phyllis Richman, Bob Levey, Marty Gallagher, Rita Kempley and of course, you. And she certainly doesn't deserve to be associated with Washington Post.com!!
I'm asking you to keep the discussion, lose "I dunno" Waxman. She doesn't seem to be able to impart her vast knowledge of Hollywood, let alone without a condescending attitude. Maybe you could hire Leonardo Di Caprio instead.
Just thought I'd send along a regular clickster's opinion.
Thanks,
Kathy Laudwein

Vic Sussman: You know, Kathy, if you would just come out of your shell and express your true feelings, we'd get some idea of what was on your mind.

Btw, Sharon knows where you park your car.

Arlington, Virginia: LI: The Asian guy who gets on a Metro car, politely greets those in the car, sings hymns until the next stop, politely thanks everyone for listening, and then goes to the next car. Of course, he's singing Christian hymns, and there are those who might find that irritating and at odds with their beliefs, but he has a nice voice, he is unerringly polite, and he's dressed neatly and cleanly. I just hope he's not being put up to this by some pseudo-religious cult. But it's nice to hear well-performed music on the Metro, and it's worth it to see the bemused looks on the faces of the fellow riders.

HI: That I have to work inside on this absolutely gorgeous day. This is why I want to work for myself (and will make it happen!). If I were working at home, I would take my laptop out to the deck and take the cordless phone with me. At work, I'm sitting here breathing recycled air while I type on my laptop at my desk. Blech.

RI: 8 of 10: Bill Clinton's video. I'd give it a 10 of 10 for sheer hilarity, but something about it makes me nervous or weirded out or disturbed. I mean, it's awfully un-presidential, and hasn't unpresidentialness been something the Rabid Right has dogged him on in the past?

Vic Sussman: BWAahahaha!

The Singing Korean strikes again!

Yes, I've been exposed to this doofus. And other LIHIRI operatives have reported on his evangelical behavior.

I have to disagree strongly about one of your points, however. The guy is NOT polite. Polite means NOT SINGING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS in a public place! Polite is respecting other people's spaces. Polite is not shoving your religious fervor down people's throats.

Next time I am going to escort the Singing Korean right off the train. I will be polite, however, and wait until the car comes to a complete stop.

herndon, va: LI - Elian and his 500 relatives, the "fisherman," and every idiot with an ideological axe to grind are off the front page - for the time being.

HI - Coke and AOL together? We may soon have Coke traveling over fiberoptic cable and dripping out of our computers.

LI - REAL SPRING IS HERE!!!

Vic Sussman: I knew we had to get Elian in here somewhere. Can't we give him movie money and get him out of our lives once and for all?

Coke and AOL. I love it. Which means you'll be drinking a Coke and the flow will stop midway in your throat. Or the can will only be half full.

VA: HI: That new "Six Chix" comic. Does ANYONE think it's funny? Every time I look at it, I'm so floored by how totally un-funny it is that I just can't believe it. I'm sure there are lots of people who would like to have a comic strip in the post, SOME of whom must be better than that. Have you ever read this comic? I would love to know what you think of it.

Vic Sussman: The only comics I read reliably are Dilbert (consistently funny), Zippy (always twisted), Ernie (ditto twisted)and Boondocks (delightfully outrageous). Most of the other funnies ain't funny.

Hell is having to read Mark Trail.

Springfield, Va.: HI: Those idiotic urban legend emails that get forwarded all of the time. Are people really this gullible? Everyone says that they don't believe them but then forward the messages to 2000 more people anyway. Hmmm. There's this really neat icon on your screen in the shape of an X -- USE IT!

LI: Seeing smokers standing out in a monsoon so that others can breathe.

RI: Butt flickers: 0/10 (pun intended)

Vic Sussman: Urban legends and Internet virus warnings are memes--viruses of the mind. Remember the so-called "Good Times Virus," one supposedly spread by e-mail (not really possible)? This one is still around, still being forwarded. I have fun when I get one of these by pointing out to the sender that the virus warning is the virus. And the sender is the vector.

Isn't life rich?

DC: Sigh... Vic, I am disappointed. With your general support of intellectual freedom, I am very disappointed that you would shop at a chain bookstore. Through the economics of book publishing, which I won't detail because they are rather complex, the big chain bookstores are pushing small, independent publishers out of business. They simply can't afford to put their books on chain store shelves. Since chains are where most Americans buy their books, independent publishers are slowly dying away. And might I remind you these tiny little publishers are where truly crazy, interesting things are published? Big publishers aren't willing to take the risk on something that isn't a guaranteed New York Times best seller.

Shop small, people. You aren't saving more than a buck or two at the big places any way. And the clerks never know what they are talking about, while they know their stuff in the small places. Go check out Chapters if you don't believe me.

And no, I don't work for a bookstore. I used to work for a tiny little publisher that is now defunct.

Vic Sussman: You're exactly right.

I've written three books and no big chain has ever been a friend to me. The little indy bookstores were the ones who carried my books and helped sell them by word of mouth.

That said, I do enjoy going into the big stores for the social climate (except for the damned squatters), the visual diversity of thousands of books and periodicals and an occasional cup of coffee. And a seat if I can find one. And yes, I do buy books at the chains because once I'm inside I'm easily seduced by books.

Alexandria, VA: Vic - I hope I'm there to see it when you give the singing on the Metro dude the boot! If you hold him captive on the platform I'll scream Black Sabbath lyrics in his ear. T'would serve him right!

Vic Sussman: Rumor has it, probably spread by Marty Gallagher, that I have on occasion, um, escorted an unruly gentlemen from a restaurant and removed a line-jumper from a cab. Not that I admit to actually doing such things, but if I did, why should the pious Singing Korean deserve any less?

Arlington, VA: A comment on VicFanLand's comment on the reward for finding the little boy's murderer being less than that for the dog's...

Keep in mind that the little boy's story didn't even make the national news, whereas the dog story got huge national coverage. So the reward $$ is from local sources, whereas people from all over the country sent in cash for the dog.

The obvious EXTREMELY sad point is that the boy's story didn't make the national news, because things like this happen to little kids every day.

Vic Sussman: I think you're right. And I'm one of the people who mocked the idea of a huge reward for the fluffy mutt. But the fact is that the reward grew geometrically because people from all over contributed, not because there was an official reward campaign.

The little boy's stabbing death is beyond horror, every parent's nightmare. Killed by a stranger in his own front yard.

My neurons shut down at this point.

VA: RE; the big bookstore question.

I live in Reston, and would love to shop in a small bookstore. They don't exist anymore outside the city, at least not anywhere near me. I can't take the metro for 40 minutes each way to go into the city every time I look at books, so what is my option? This is very frustrating for me.

Vic Sussman: Your comment proves the previous poster's point. Sad but true.

The worst thing about the chains is, as the poster said, is that clerks often don't know zip about books. It's all DuhsVille when you ask for something, especially something obscure.

Albany, NY: Vic,

I love the Ernie comic, too. Unfortunately we don't get it here. So I look forward to reading it in the amazing Washington Post comics section. But the last time I was in your fair city (recently) it wasn't there! I was very disappointed. Is it gone for good?

Vic Sussman: Ernie was there the last time I looked.

Dupont: Hi Vic,

LI: The cartoon "Rhymes with Orange." I'm not the cartoonist (Hilary Price), have never met the cartoonist, and am in no way associated with her or her strip. I just really enjoy her slant on the world. For anyone interested you can see her strips at www.rhymeswithorange.com Check out her "favorites" section for the best sample.

HI: That The Washington Post doesn't run her strip. Vic, do you have any influence over the comics featured on this web site?

RI: -3 out of 10 for the man I saw light up outside of Xando with a woman holding an obviously new baby sitting not two feet away at a nearby table. Incidentally, she was the one who got up and moved.

Vic Sussman: I have no influence over the comics posted on washingtonpost.com. I can't even find a parking space most days. Go figure.

Arlington, Va: Vic,

I'm writing in at the behest of the lovely Kim O'Donnel who hates all food products white and gloppy. My big "Love It" for today is kefir. "Hate It" has to be all the stores in the DC/Metro area that either don't sell it- or don't sell the flavor I happen to be craving. Kim told me to ask you what kefir actually is. I'm stumped, but am guessing it's just liquid yogurt? Why the name kefir then?

Thanks.

Vic Sussman: This sounds suspiciously like a posting from INSIDE THIS BUILDING! (We will find you and root you out.)

But I'll answer, only because you correctly identified Kim:

Kefir, like yogurt, is a fermented milk product. But they are distinctly different entities. Kefir is produced by culturing "kefir grains," gravel-like particles used as a starter. Kefir is also liquid rather than semi-solid like yogurt. Best of all, kefir is lightly carbonated, a natural consequence of its fermentation.

Kefir was originally made with sheep's milk (which it still is by people living along the Steppes), but any milk will do. You can find a source for the kefir grains by searching the Web, or just buy kefir at a natural foods store. I've even bought non-fat kefir, a guilty pleasure because I can down a quart at a sitting.

How do I know so much? In my previous life as a homesteader (i.e. hippie farmer) I made my own yogurt and kefir.

And no, I don't miss that life.

Kefir girl: LI: Kefir in all flavors

HI: That every time I go to Fresh Fields they are either out of kefir, or don't have the particular flavor I'm craving at the moment

RI: Kim O'Donnell is a TEN. (btw, she told me to write you and rant about kefir since she doesn't do gloppy white stuff). Nobody (even Kim) can tell me what kefir actually is, but I love it anyway.

Amen on the bookstore squatters. I almost lobbed a weighty tome at a clique of chicks "studying" at B&N over the weekend.

Vic Sussman: I don't know if this is a duplicate post or we're being overrun by kefir fanatics.

And Kim O'Donnel fans.

Did you really throw the book at the squatters? Meet me after work and we'll go after the Singing Korean.

Arlington, VA: Can I make a bid for Reprint Bookstore in L'Enfant Plaza (no, I don't work there, but I used to work across the street from it and I miss it horribly). If they don't have it, they order it, and it's usually to you within a week. Not only that, but they've read just about everything in the store.

Vic Sussman: A vote for a local bookstore.

Do they have big fat easy chairs?

Laurel MD:
Vic, chats you should get:

TV
Local Travel (free up the Flight Crew for travel to other places)
Local Concerts and Museums
Things to do with Kids
Transportation and Commuting

Vic Sussman: Good ideas. We are working on some of them.

dc/alex. va: LI: The food at 1800 Cafe on Conn Ave., when ya just gotta have it!

HI: Messengers who don't bathe-- getting in the elevator with you, now the weather's getting warmer-- AHEM, a little SOAP folks!

RI: My french fries from 1800 (that I haven't had in 12 weeks, cuz I've been dieting, and lost 31 lbs...) FAB-o. oh, and Vic-- I'm with ya on the cafe/study hall thing....

Vic Sussman: Give the messengers a break. Ride a bike all day and see how nice you smell.

But I could clobber the messengers who ride top speed on the sidewalk, ride up one-way streets and otherwise constitute a death threat to pedestrians.

Many bike messengers need more than just a bath. A brain would be a good start.

Washington DC: Hey Vic! Lovin' this sunshine!

HI: The location of "The Kids Post". My crossword belongs there!!

HI: That I'm 45, gay, and not in a relationship. 45 for a gay man is OLD. Even old queens need lovin' !!

Annoyed at: Rosie O'Donnel on the Millionaire Show. What a camera hog.

LI: Malcolm in the Middle. HILARIOUS!

Whew. Glad I got that all off my chest. I need to go and lie down now.......

Vic Sussman: Enjoy your nap. We are a public service.

DC: Good afternoon. Just ate lunch outdoors. Wonderful.

LI: Marty Gallagher: I love how patient he is with the newbies, and how mean he is to the impatient meatheads.

LI: Going for a run in these California-esqe evenings we've been having.

LI: When I'm going for a run and someone pulls over to ask directions, and I know the way. Then they thank me, and I feel like I've done a good deed.

HI: I can't watch all these 1 p.m. discussions at once.

HI: These three guys we have running for president. Does anyone else want to run? Anyone?

RI: ABC bringing back Sports Night next week (10/10), but just to burn off the ones they've already bought (0/10).

Vic Sussman: You can watch as many concurrent Live Online shows as your computer power will support. If you're on a PC, hit Control N to open a new browser. You can toggle back and forth between discussions. Same thing on a Mac, only hit Command (Apple) key and N.

Falls Church, VA: Hey Vic,
Well, I missed my chance last week so I am going to try to sum it up this week.
LI: Elian off Saturday Morning Cartoons but on South Park. Rocker Gets Mooned. Gary Coleman running for office in California. And Still, the movie Lake Placid.
HI: This week is relatively boring in news. Weather-people predicting rain (kill the messenger). Rocker not understanding why he was mooned. The show "Webster."
RI: The Gator from Lake Placid meeting John Rocker: 10-1.

Vic Sussman: John Rocker is just tired, old, yesterday's news. He's a ballplayer who shot off his mouth in a magazine interview.

Why on earth does anybody care what he has to say about anything? I don't get it. John, hit the ball, catch the ball, go home.

End of story.

Boston, but DC native: I can't get my mac to stop constantly refreshing the page! I am getting a headache! I am trying to read the discussion thus far and it keeps disappearing and starting from the top! How can I freeze the page until I'm finished reading what is on the screen?

Vic Sussman: Click Get New Responses. That should shut off the auto-reload.

If not, we make house calls.

Rockville, MD: Vic, You are wrong about Mark Trail. How can you like Zippy and not Mark Trail? If it wasn't for Mark Trail, Zippy wouldn't exist. The secret to reading Mark Trail, BTW, is to start with the right-most panel.

Vic Sussman: Mark Trail is now in Hebrew?

The things I learn on this program.

Charlottesville, VA: Vic, "Ernie" changed its name to "The Piranha Club" a few months ago. (Not that I read it.)

Vic Sussman: Aha!

You're right.

I never read the titles, just the strip. Thanks for clearing this up. I like the strip because it's not cute and often in bad taste.

But that's just me.

DC: Hey, Vic, last week you mentioned competing successfully in some weight lifting contests. When are you gonna post a pic of you from the neck down? Inquiring eyes want to see.

Vic Sussman: This is getting too personal. I'm blushing.

Arlington: Harris Teeter in Ballston sells Kefir, and it's always in stock. The Swedes eat in their cereal, but there it's called "feel."

Vic Sussman: The only "bad" thing about kefir is milk's high sugar content, not a good choice when (like me) you're trying to build muscle and lose bodyfat. Also, unless you buy plain kefir, you're going to get a load of added sugar in the flavored ones. Kefir has become a very guilty pleasure, up there with Cozy Shack Pudding, my junk food cocaine.

orlando, fl: Vic, can you clear something up for me? Your quote today is from "Walden", yes? But I thought the actual quote was more along the lines of "Advance confidently in the direction of your dreams, and you will meet with successes unexpected in the common hours. Live the life you've imagined." Or some such. If I'm wrong, I'll dutifully hide my head in shame.

Vic Sussman: No, I think you're exactly right. I didn't pull it from Walden directly, but from a quote site on the Web.

See? You can't believe everything you see on the Web. Except this program.

Maybe.

DC: LI: Sex and the City and The Sopranos
HI: Sports Night - they've been trying to get rid of it for so long... Let it go, already!
RI: Having to pay for Starpower because DC cable sucks 0 out of 10
(But a 10 out of 10 for actually having the option to choose Starpower)

Sorry, I'm stuck at work and need to be entertained.....

Vic Sussman: If the best you can do for entertainment is to log onto LIHIRI, then you have our sympathies. This is, after all, live typing. No sound, no pictures, no touchy-feely. And while I realize we are infinitely entertaining, assuming you've had a lobotomy, we are no substitute for so-called Real Life.

Sigh.

Keep watching the clock...

Washington, DC: Has you hat ever been to the greeting card section at Fresh Fields? I think they would get along.

Vic Sussman: The Hat never goes out alone. It tend to mingle with very bad company.

DC: Vic, I agree with you about the good points of chain bookstores and would add one more: They have good remainder sections.

Vic Sussman: Another vote for small bookstores. I particularly love used book stores. They can be my financial undoing if I'm not careful.

Arlington, VA: Re: Reprint Books. No, they don't have big, fat easy chairs, but they do have an impressively knowledgeable staff. Even if you're not sure of the book title, you can give them descriptions, and they can find it.

Since it's at L'Enfant Plaza, you can go outside and read, if you want. And there's a coffee place across the hall from it (there used to be, anyway).

Vic Sussman: More bookstore suggestions. Thanks.

Washington, DC: LI: SPRING!

HI: POLLEN!

RI: The feeling you have when you have to sneeze badly and you almost get there.....and then it goes away. I can think of a painful male analogy to this feeling.

Vic Sussman: Akin to "Blue Nose?"

We'll leave it at that.

Baltimore, MD: Re State College, PA:

It works both ways. Despite all their talk about wanting to meet a nice man, the women I've met (at least around the age of 25) more often settle for the hunky jerk who treats them like dirt. What they really mean to say, I think, is that they want the a-hole their with at the present time to treat them better.

P.S. This is not sour grapes either. I'm perfectly content to wait for the woman who really is looking for a nice guy to come along.

Vic Sussman: Well, I hope they still adore their hunky jerks when they are 40 or 50 and hunky jerk has transmogrified into Fat Hunky Jerk, with no more wit or grace than he had in his twenties. Call it devolution and be done with it.

WDC: Comics:

LI: The Boondocks, Dilbert, Ernie, Mutts, Close to Home.

HI: Six Chix, Liberty Meadows, That's Life, all the serial comics.

HI: That the Post is running Peanuts re-runs at the top of the column instead of a new artist.

RI: Non-Sequitur has just gotten cynical and bitter. 3/10.

RI: Mark Trail. There's something delightfully "Lassie"-era about it. 7/10.

Vic Sussman: Here's what I hate about Mark Trail:
It plods.
It's totally unoriginal.
Everybody looks alike.
Everybody is white.
I would rather hike the woods with Zippy than Mark.

Suitland, MD: Re: smoky music clubs. Went to the State Theater in Falls Church the other night to listen to a blues band. The entire downstairs area (with tables and service) is smoke free. Evidently, the upstairs balcony allowed smoking, but I couldn't even tell!

Pass it on.

Vic Sussman: Let's hear it for smoke-free zones.

It's so simple and it's been said a million times: Your right to smoke ends at my nose. How trite. How true. How sad that we have to discuss this.

DC: Questions: Who wrote the book of love??

Vic Sussman: I don't know, but if you hum a few bars I can pick it up...

MD: Here's a question, out of curiosity:

Do you guys actually have to come into the office to do the online chats, or do they let you telecommute?

Vic Sussman: We do discussions with people all over the world. We're Web-based, so anyone with Internet access can participate either as a host/guest or as a viewer.

And yes, I've done Live Online work from hotel rooms around the world. No, no, really.

Philly, PA: If you love used bookstores, you should take a day trip to Strand Bookstore in NY.. HUGE bookstore. I think they have something like 8 million books in one location. My wife and I went in the middle of the summer and found out the following:

LI: Huge selection. you can find the Joy of Sex in Mandarin Chinese

HI: No A/C in the summer. The whole place would cook a pot roast in 10 minutes flat.

RI: 8 out of 10.

Vic Sussman: I've been to The Strand. I get sensory overload and forget what the hell I'm looking for. I actually walked in one day, circled the floor in a daze, and got out, gasping for breath.

Am I the only guy who suffers from existential dread in a used bookstore?

Dupont: Hi Vic,

Me again. I love the idea of a TV "discussion." Then I could ask why last night on Buffy, Spike was able to walk into Giles house without being invited... Sadly, none of my friends like Buffy, and I can't even mention the show to them without being mocked and ridiculed.

Also, a quick question: I've noticed that lately many of your congressional on-line guests have been Republicans. Is this a fluke? Are Democrats more technophobic? Or are they busier than the Republicans? I know you try to be evenhanded on all fronts, so I was wondering about the discrepancy.

Vic Sussman: I don't think it's a fluke, although some of our guests are certainly that. I think it's just one of those imbalances that eventually evens out. We are certainly aware of this issue and try to keep it in mind. Our goal isn't to dutifully balance the scales every day, but to present a wide variety of interesting discussions. I hope we do that.

Tell ya what: If I can book Sarah Michelle Gellar, you'll have a Buffy chat to kill for. Hmm. We'll think about this.

Or maybe we'll book the head of a Buffy fan club.

Obviously, I dig that show. But then, one of my all-time fav movies is John Carpenter's "Vampires."

Alexandria: Dear Mr. Sussman,

When do you update the photo and have the authentic Panama speak to us?

When is the next Harry P. book due out?

About Kevin Shiflett (the boy who was killed). He was actually in his grandparents' front yard. He lived in Hybla Valley. (irony there since HV is more statistically dangerous than Alex)The Alexandria police conducted over -500- interviews (within a few days) of cabbies until they got to this one. He didn't talk because he is an illegal immigrant and was afraid of deportation. They granted him INS immunity for his interview. The police are doing a remarkable job--10/10.

Vic Sussman: I don't know when I'll update the photo, but thanks for asking.

I think the next Harry Potter is due out in late June. I'm reading Book Two to my son now. We're still talking about the part where Ron's wand backfires and causes him to upchuck slugs. (You had to be there.)

The Harry Potter books continue to amaze and delight me. They are a once-in-a-lifetime literary experience, right up there with all the Oz books.

wdc: Yes! Existential dread in used book stores and libraries!

I especially feel guilt in libraries - centuries of books for free - and I can't fit enough reading into my day.

For poor folks on a budget, libraries rock!
Even the DC public libaries!

Vic Sussman: You think you feel guilty in a bookstore or library, haunted by all the books you didn't read and will never get to?

Try hanging out with Michael Dirda or even just reading his weekly transcript. He has read books you've never even heard of. Mike is my hero and I regard him with total awe.

DC: The Birchmere in Alexandria gets great acts and it's completely smoke-free.

Vic Sussman: Thanks for the breath of fresh air.

Kefir Girl: Vic:

Sorry about the double posting. I wrote one yesterday because I thought I wouldn't be able to slack today. Yes, yes, yes- I'm ready to take on singing Koreans and bookstore squatters! Where do you want to meet? Thanks for all your info on kefir- you are an absolute font.

PS- I assure you I'm not writing from inside Post headquarters.

PPS- In news related to folks singing at the Metro- saw a guy at the Ballston Metro today who walked up and down the platform chanting, "I am Lucifer." This guy is a fixture in the Ballston metro area, and not to be missed if you are ever around. Cheers.

Vic Sussman: Thank you. I have always aspired to be a "font." Beats being a hunky jerk.

I'd like to see the Lucifer guy in action. Hey, he could be the real thing. Strange things happen in Virginia.

Herndon, Va: The original Powell's Books in Portand is almost as bad as Strand's in New York. Forget about going to get something. Go with an open mind and wallet!

Vic Sussman: I was there too. I don't recall buying anything. I think I got overwhelmed again.

I may have had existential dread in more cities and more countries than most people ever dream of.

Washington, DC: FYI about clerks in large bookstores not knowing their product: I worked for B&N for a while, and you would be surprised what my co-workers had to look up on the computer. One example: Who wrote the Scarlet Letter? Also, a friend who worked at Borders said they used to give prospective employees a quiz on well-known books and authors, but had to stop because not enough were passing.

Sigh...

Vic Sussman: You raise a good point. In defense of book store clerks, people ask the most ridiculous questions in bookstores. Like, "I heard about this book about a boy or it might have been a girl and I don't know the author or the title but it was something about Alaska or maybe Hawaii, I'm not sure. Can you help me find it?"

Run screaming into the night...

Du Pont: LI: People throwing bananas at Miami's City Hall. The weather. Tofu and Soy Milk, but not at the same time.

HI: Sunburn!

RI: Canoe trips: 10/10
Polluted Rivers: 0/10, especially when you're canoeing on one.

Vic Sussman: Wear sunblock, you idgit.

I went on a ten day sea kaying trip in the Virgin Islands and managed to come back without a tan. I wore a sunblock shirt, a big Tilley hat, enough sunblock to grease battleship skids and only ventured into the sea after 4 p.m.

Okay, so it's not as nice as being open to sun and sky, but those days are over.

wdc: Harry Potter rocks. I still can't read the slug upchuck section without laughing out loud. I can't wait for #4.

Maybe you can answer a question for me - I was under the (perhaps mistaken) assumption that all the books save one had already been released in the UK. Is this true?? If so, why can't we get them here?

Vic Sussman: I don't think so. I heard J.K. Rowling say that she had written the ending to Book Seven (now locked in a safe) but had not actually written the book. Perhaps some of our overseas readers can clear this up.

Dark Side of the Moon: Duke? Duke? Duke of Earl.

Vic Sussman: That's what the song is about, doofus, not who wrote it.

Was it Lieber & Stoller? Didn't they write just about everything in that era?

State College, PA (not the same as before): Try working in a record store! "I'm looking for a song, I don't know who did it or what it's called, but it has the word 'love' in it. Can you help me?"

AAARGH!!!

Vic Sussman: Right. Hum a few bars and I'll see if I can...

Washington DC, Part 2: For your vague book descriptions, you forgot "It had a blue cover with a woman on it" (I kid you not!)

Vic Sussman: Wait. That was "Devil in a Blue Dress," an Easy Rawlins mystery. I loved it.

Rockville, MD: help in understanding Mark Trail:

http://www.geocities.com/BourbonStreet/3853/mt.html

Just you try and be completely unoriginal for a whole day and see how hard it is!

Vic Sussman: If this turns out to be a porn site we are coming to rough you up. We have cookies in your machine and know where you park your car.

And I think "understanding Mark Trail" is oxymoronic.

Bethesda, MD: Hey, Vic, totally agree with you about your rant. So true!

I mean, geez, people. What's up with that?

When I was in college, we all went to one library. Now, there was a lot of studying going on, but it didn't necessarily involve books, if you know what I mean. However, it did involve figures and communications.

So to my geeky friends who said I wasn't studying when I went to the library in college, I certainly was. It just wasn't the kind of studying you do with your nose buried in a book.

Besides, I graduated, and that's all that counts. And on top of that, I had to put the stuff I learned in my major, psych, to the test to make sure it was true.

Vic Sussman: You prove my point. Barnes & (Ig)Noble, please throw the squatters out.

wdc: existential dread here again...

I love Dirda's discussions and Book World. It makes me feel like I can vicariously live the readerly life I'd want to lead.

Perhaps I should take advice from Thoreau...

As for global existential dread, it can be delicious to feel the weight of lives come and gone when you walk through a particularly old/historic section of a great country or city... London, Paris, Spain, or even our own DC.

Perhaps this could be a new spin for the Post travel talks?

Vic Sussman: Yes, Michael Dirda is the Cliff Books of Live Online. Read him and you feel like you actually know something.

I don't think this is what Mike had in mind.

Existential dread in Paris, I agree, is far better than suffering the same in, say, Falls Church or Rosslyn. Standing on a bridge, any bridge, in Paris left me limp with awe. I felt the same way about London and Hong Kong.

Life is too damned short to sit in front of a computer.

Transplanted DC to Lincoln NE : RE John Carpenter's vampires...
What is it about vampires wanting to be active during daylight hours? What is there they can't do after sundown in our 24-7 society? Be Golf Pros?

RI: Vampire flix, especially campy ones 10/10!!!!

Vic Sussman: No, no: Vampires for public office. Equality for blood-suckers.

Arlington, VA: LI - any bookstore.

LI even more - www.addall.com, a site which will comparison shop for books for you online and will give you all coupon codes, etc.

RI - the nice (and knowledgeable) clerks at the Barnes and Noble in the Potomac Yard shopping center - 10+

Vic Sussman: The bookies are with us today.

Bethesda, MD: This is for the poor 25 year old State College Boy. I was just up there last weekend visiting my extremely immature brother and I can honestly say I did not run into one mature person there. I had a ball though and oh how I wish I could explain to college kids to ENJOY college while they still can. I can't even begin to explain how much I miss it. And I've only been out one year.

LI: That Vic puts up with the other State College Boy that periodically likes to write in and harass him. I'm so impressed!! I can tell you right now his family doesn't do such a good job. Hahaha...

Vic Sussman: An entire town with no mature people. Didn't I see this movie already?

Du Pont: I did wear sunscreen!!! SPF48 in fact. I just thinking about it because of the beautiful weather, and I'm not wearing any right now, preventing me from going outside.

Vic Sussman: Aha. Sunscreen guilt.

We root you out.

Arlington, VA: For Dupont: I had the same reaction for a second. But Spike's been invited into Giles's place before and, thinking about it, it's been established in the past (when Angel became evil, maybe?) that once a vampire is invited in once, the invitation remains good unless specifically rescinded.

Buffy chat: I'd rather talk to Allison Hannigan than Sarah Michelle Geller (yeah, I'm the same Arlington who wrote the earlier, so far unpublished Buffy message...). Actually, come to think of it, I'd really rather talk to series creator/writer Joss Weedin (who's name I'm sure I just mangled) than either of them. Talking to stars never did much for me, but the writer can often offer useful insight into his or her work.

Vic Sussman: Booking Weedin would be a hoot.

Staff? Staff? Are you listening?

dc/alex, va: NO VIC you mis-understood!!!! this messenger was WALKING-- carrying a basket of wine and crackers-- not the biker-types...

Vic Sussman: Well, he shouldn't be walking on the sidewalk anyway.

Man, a foul-smelling WALKING messenger.

This city is going to hell.

Dupont: OK, this may be exceeding my allowance of posts, but for the person wondering, the next Harry Potter book is available June 8 on Amazon.com. I'm counting the days...

Vic Sussman: It's okay to exceed your allowance when we like what you say.

Springfield, Va.: RE: bookstores. Seinfeld hit it on the head when he said that bookstores are a laxative.

Vic Sussman: Oh that Jerry. He's a caution.

Rockville, MD: Hi Vic-

As far as the previous posting:

I'm a 25 girly and I am not looking for a hulky jerk-please don't stereo-type all in my category because of bitter experience! I'm sorry-but dating around this age is just difficult for men and women-(Boys and girls?)

I'd be happy for the nice guy-really! But finding one over 20 and under 40 is kind of hard these days.

Thanks for the sound off Vic!

Vic Sussman: You're a "25 girly"?

I'm just going to let that sit there...

MD: Can I answer the Buffy question? This has been an issue on the show before. Apparently, once a vampire has been invited in, that invitation is permanent, unless a lot of ritualistic stuff is done to keep them out.

Vic Sussman: I think I'll be able to sleep tonight. Thank you for clearing this up.

Washington, DC: During Harry Potter hiatuses, visit the library and check out E. Nesbit's "Five Children & It," "The Phoenix and the Carpet" and "The Amulet" (not as good as the other two).

Vic Sussman: Cool. I remember reading the first one. Nesbit continues to be a largely undiscovered treasure. Thanks for the reminder.

Charlottesville, Virginia: I used to work at B. Dalton in Center City Philadelphia, and it was amazing how many people came in looking for a book by a "pacific arthur" (specific author) . . . .

Vic Sussman: They were looking for a West Coast writer. They knew the ocean but not the name. Give them a break.

Not a State (DC):: Since miss Manners isn't available to me today, I want you to arbitrate a dispute I'm having with my sister in law: In addressing wedding invitations, she wants to use Ms. for divorced women and Miss for single women. I say use Ms. for any woman of voting age regardless of marital status and use Miss only for children.

Vic Sussman: I think the term "Ms." is now commonly accepted (except by Phyllis Schlafly)as the universal for women of any age or status.

And with apologies to La Hax, I think your friend is a jerk for attempting to classify guests by their marital status.

Alexandria, VA: And, John Rocker should have kicked the mooner in his big, fat butt!

Vic Sussman: Oh please. Take your medication and get back to work.

Silver Spring, MD: LI -- Super independent book stores: Politics & Prose, Kramer Books, Mystery Bookstore -- the latter sadly the last of its kind. Super used book store -- Wheaton Regional Library's.

HI -- Chain stores/supermarket racks where you see the same titles again and again.

RI -- Reading 10 of 10

Vic Sussman: More bookies speak.

Albany NY: Thanks for the info on the comic formerly known as Ernie. Check out www.piranhaclub.com.

Vic Sussman: Thanks for the link.

Arlington, VA: To State College: I began my career at Penn State transferring in as a 24-year-old Sophomore. There are plenty of good mid-20s folk at Penn State, you just have to be patient in finding them.

GO LIONS!

LI: LaVar's a Redskin. The next Lawrence Taylor!

Vic Sussman: Spectator sports leave me cold, but I'm posting this anyway out of respect for you. Right. I'm mellowing.

va: Okay, just ONE more Mark Trail complaint? In the week of Easter, the comic talked about how the Easter bunny originated in Europe during the 19th century. ARGH!! Why do people need to lie to themselves like this? Ever wonder why it's called "Easter"? Easter was the Saxon goddess of spring, whose patron animal was the bunny. Her festival was celebrated around the time of the spring equinox, during which time it was believed that her animal (the bunny) would lay eggs in the fields, and children would go hunting for them. It's a pagan festival, face it. I swear I am not making this up. Look it up if you want. But why does "Mark Trail" have the right to re-write history?

Vic Sussman: Let's get a pagan to kick Mark's white bread butt.

Here: The big bookstore chains are so big they are starting to squeeze the smaller ones ... A few months ago The Post did a story on the (lamentable) closing of Blackberry in Pentagon City, but did anyone notice that BOTH bookstores in the mall (Brentano's and Scribners) closed too? I guess the big Borders across the street did them in.

Re: Waxman -- I like that she has an attitude that gives you some insight into her personality (same goes for our host of the moment). I was disappointed recently when she mentioned something about her husband. Some of the questions yesterday were kind of dumb anyway, and the general topic area is kind of trivial in the grand scheme of things. Her discussion is usually an entertaining skim, yesterday's notwithstanding.

Vic Sussman: Thanks for the Waxman vote. I love her attitude. That's why she's on Live Online. Bland doesn't do it for me. Go Sharon!

Herndon, VA: Reston - There are several small used bookstores near you. One in Lake Anne Plaza, one (ReReads) down Elden St. in Herndon (that's Baron Cameron to you) in the plaza with the Tortilla Factory.
Just FYI.

Vic Sussman: Are you listening Reston?

Happytown, USA: LI: My new Honda Civic, a low emissions vehicle! I feel so freakin' responsible.

Also LI: People posting "What a Wonderful World" lyrics. That's one of my favorite songs ever, guaranteed to put me in a good mood.

Also also LI: Yellow houses.

HI: My reward for driving a small car with high gas mileage and low emissions will most likely be being crushed to death by an SUV.

Vic Sussman: My TransAm is in the body shop. I am driving a Rent-a-Wreck Chevy. I am not happy. Driving a conventional car reminds me why I drive a muscle car, a dying breed. The car, not me.

K Street: RI: Invertebrate retailers - 0

I agree, Vic, that corporate America needs to develop a backbone. I was at the Safeway deli counter recently and the guy ahead of me ordered a pound of salami. The lone deli clerk took the salami out of the case for automatic machine slicing. After five or six minutes of the three of us watching the slicer, the clerk weighed the pile of salami. It was only one-fourth of a pound. Anticipating another 15 minutes of slicing time, I politely asked if the clerk could take my order while the machine continued its work. She answered, "I don't like to wait on more than one customer at a time." I insisted. So she turned to the other customer and actually asked him if he minded that she wait on me in the interim!! She left it up to him! She clearly did not want to "offend" him by waiting on me even though the alternative was three people watching a slicer.

Safeway also pits customers against each other in the express checkouts, where clerks never scold violators. Instead, they wait for other customers to say something to the person with excess items (Bob Levey has written about this).

You know, you can't please all of the people all of the time, so you should at least please the ones who follow the rules.

Vic Sussman: I hate the fact that you have to join the Safeway club to get lower prices. You're trading your personal information (what you buy and when, powerful data) for lower prices.

Is it a public supermarket or a private club?

Alex: existential thought: just WHERE are websites, actually? where are we GOING when we go there?

Vic Sussman: Look, get this straight: Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle cyberspace.

Web sites are in cyberspace. You are no place when you're there. It's the illusion of navigation and control that pleases the human psyche. That's the Web's power.

And I get paid for this.

Bethesda, MD: If you get a Buffy chat going, I'll volunteer to drive the limo to get Sarah Michelle Gellar from the airport.

I mean, supposedly, I'm too old for the show -- it's targeted at people 15-24. But so what? I like it. It's cool.

And those moves that Gellar's got -- wow. No stunt doubles, either, because it's too low budget.

That's impressive.

Vic Sussman: Stop with the "too old" crap. Why live your life by an arbitrary number? Biology rules until chronology takes over. Until then, dig it if you can.

And forget about driving the Buffy car. I'm the boss, so it's all mine.

McLean, VA: HI: the fact that the Birchmere doesn't allow dancing, and even discourages standing, yet they book acts that inspire one to do just that!
LI: State Theater. Booking some great acts in a cool venue for a good price.
RI: 10 of 10 that Mark Trail, Mary Worth, Judge Parker, Apartment 3-G and Rex Morgan all still here. I read them as a tribute to my grandmother, who read them to me every day! Yes, it hurts a little, but well worth it!

Vic Sussman: You read certain comics in tribute to your grandmother?

Beats organized religion all to hell, doesn't it?

Downtown: LI: My lower taxes and car insurance now that I've moved to Arlington from DC.

HI: The other women in my office are all intent on ruining each other's career. It's getting to be really irritating and the Office Manager won't do anything about it. Time to find a new place to work.

Vic Sussman: Well, look at the bright side: In Virginia you can easily get a permit to carry a concealed weapon.

That should make your day.

Clifton, NJ: Read an interesting tidbit on the site today. There is a bill which would force movies, video games, etc. to adopt a uniform rating system. AND if the industries did not conform they would face being banned from the market. I hope I'm not the only one, but proposals like this truly frighten me.

I understand parents' point-of-view in wanting to protect children. But why do these concerns have to be made law and enacts over us all, not just those under 18? Parents should take seriously their responsibility as gatekeepers and not rely on lawmakers to do so.

Which leads to another concern of mine, that so many zero-tolerance public and school policies, designed to protect children, are actually making them weaker, less able to handle the real world around them. But that's another topic ...

Vic Sussman: Note to parents and would-be censors: Please control what your children do and see and leave the rest of us adults alone.

I feel better now.

Alex: BWAAAAA HAAA HAA HAA. I RULE cyberspace (illusion, or reality?)

Vic Sussman: Alex., you are just a collection of errant pixels.

Be gone, spirit!

Laurel, MD: Wow, Iron Vic's going for 2 full hours today!

Vic Sussman: Time flies when you're having fun.

I suspect I have a very irritable producer. Or a hungry one.

So many LIHIRI folks, so little time.

WDC: re: Safeway Club. Just give a fake name and address. They don't check.

Vic Sussman: Thanks.

Join us next week when we'll tell you how to make explosives from common household chemicals.

Bethesda, MD: Vic,

I applaud the students' right to freeload study space at Barnes and Noble. Said evil chain bookstore that puts small independent bookstores out of business, making a joke out of the concept of "free enterprise," should repay its debt to society.

Vic Sussman: Oh please. The Evil Bookstores are not putting people out of business. That people go out of business is a consequence of capitalism. I'm not cheering this on, just stating the obvious.

As for the free-loading students, that's a logical disconnect. They are not taking up space and oxygen in B&N to prove a point or to support the Little Guys.

Throw the bums out!

Louis Armstrong Rules: Okay, so George David Weiss and Bob Theile -wrote- it... but Satchmo made the world remember it.

Vic Sussman: Thank you.

As a journalist, I am sworn to uphold truth and accuracy.

I once saw Satchmo live. I sat through two shows. In the front row for house. Satch saw me the second show and waved his hanky at me.

Moments like that make life worth living.

Yes, I'm in the building: LI: Cozy Shack Rice Pudding Rocks! 10:10!

Vic Sussman: Get back to work, you carbo-freak!

Arlington, VA: Does the Singing Korean take requests?

Vic Sussman: Well, I have a request:

Would you please get off the train?

WDC: Hey Vic....

LI - Coaching Little League and spending time with my kids.
RI - Just got the new Steely Dan album. I still say it that way. 9 of out 10. Can picture myself back in college still enjoying them.
HI - Have to buy a car soon. Hate the whole stinking process...

Vic Sussman: Buy your car off the Web. It works. It's less hassle. You'll get a better price.

va: My pet peeve (not really big enough to hate...)

Quote is a verb. Quotation is a noun. Therefore, "I loved that quote" is incorrect. It should be "I loved that quotation." This is really common, but still wrong.

Vic Sussman: I hope you feel better for embarrassing me.

Check your car out tonight...

Boston: Hi Vic,

LI: Sun. Finally.
(HI: 3 weeks of rain & high's in the 40s)

Got a question that Sharon Waxman couldn't answer yesterday:

In the big mob scene in Jaws when everyone's running out of the water, there's this really emoting Screaming Woman right in the center of the frame, and every time I see it I say hey, that looks like Anne Archer. I'm trying to figure out if it actually is her with no luck so far. For what it's worth, she's been popping up in TV commercials about the 25th anniversary thing (still screaming, of course, but now you can catch practically her whole performance during breaks from Regis). I've been on Jaws trivia websites, etc and have found nothing.

Vic Sussman: Jeez. You're going to make me rent the movie again. Anne Archer in a bit part? I just saw her the other night in "Rules of Engagement." Not a bad movie, btw. I can watch anything with Samuel L. Jackson and Tommy Lee Jones.

Somewhere, USA: How do you buy a car off the web? How can you test-drive it?

Vic Sussman: Shameless self-promotion: Check out cars.com on this site.

(Note to boss: Slide my bonus under the door.)

va: Vic,

I don't think YOU made the "quote" mistake. I think it was someone else. I was just pointing it out because I hear it all the time.

Vic Sussman: Your apology is accepted.

Your car is safe.

For now.

Arlington, VA: Re: spineless retailers... The staff at Harris Teeter in Ballston seem to have plenty of spine! This weekend I accidentally (no, really!) got in the express line, and one of the other cashiers said politely "that's express - I can take you over here," and did. It was great! I was actually happy to be scolded! (Don't read anything special into that last sentence.)

Vic Sussman: Was the clerk wearing black leather boots?

This could boost the store's customer base...

Myersville, MD: LI--The weather, come on heat!
HI--That I am stuck inside all day today. HUGE conference coming up on Friday and trying to get stuff together.
HI--The Doomsayers are predicting that we will be all wiped out by a tidal wave sometime in the relatively near future. Why do they always panic like this when there is not a lot anyone can do about it??
RI--This chat is 20 out of 10! It seems to get better every week!

Vic Sussman: A tidal wave hitting D.C.?

At least this would solve the pothole problem.

Rockville, MD: Your cookies aren't working. I ride a bike to work.

Vic Sussman: Okay, I just checked.

We know where you keep the bike.

washingtonpost.com: Hey, smarty pants in Va., in Webster's New World dictionary, "quote" is also listed as a noun, to be used informally to denote a "quotation."

Vic Sussman: Well, I have managed to annoy one very patient producer (Thank you, Jen!) and to be late for an important meeting.

I couldn't help myself. You're all so much fun, so witty and edgy, that I couldn't break away.

Two hours at the keyboard. And people say I have no life.

See you all next week.

As the Duke used to say, "Love you madly."