Wednesday, June 7, 2000, 1 p.m. EDT

Vic Sussman By Reginald Pearman, Jr/ washingtonpost.com

What works?

What doesn't?

What stinks?

What zings?

Welcome to Love It, Hate It, Rate It! An hour or more of reader-generated rooting, ranting and raving about things, events and people--good, bad and indifferent. Whether you're a cynic or Little Mary Sunshine incarnate, this is your chance to ask questions, make rash statements, believe three impossible things before breakfast and tickle your keyboard as you pick at the social fabric.

Tell the world, such as it is, who's great or merely grating. Pin a label on it: Heaven or Hype? What's in, what's out, what's phat or just goes splat?

Your host is Live Online's Executive Producer, Vic Sussman, who emits an unearthly blue light from his forehead when annoyed.

Sussman has a long background in broadcasting and print journalism. The author of three nonfiction books, he was previously the Personal Tech columnist for The Washington Post Magazine, Book World's audio book reviewer, and a senior editor specializing in cyberspace at U.S.News & World Report. Sussman's interests veer wildly from the vagaries of computer-mediated communication to the skeptical subculture, weight lifting, and magic as a performance art. He is not a minion of Satan, but negotiations continue.

Below is today's transcript. You may read past sessions of LIHIRI in Vic's archives.

Vic Sussman: And a good EDT afternoon to all you assembled Muggles, Mudbloods, Morlocks (the Eloi are out sunning themselves) and misbegotten souls with nothing better to do than log on to LIHIRI. Beats working for a living, doesn't it?

Before we begin plowing through your queued up questions, comments, rants, roots and raves, I have to apologize. Sort of. Last week I managed to outrage and otherwise piss off (don't try this at home, kids, I'm a professional) numerous right-thinking people by casually mentioning that I had hit a triple digit number while roaring down the New York Thruway.

Of course, I might have been referring to a speed of 65.2 or even 67.8, but nooooooo. Everybody and their saintly mothers assumed I was going something like 110 miles an hour. And I got all kinds of stern admonitions about speeding and being a menace to society. The jury is still out on the latter charge. I had also, last week, inveighed against drunk drivers, which had quite a few LIHIRI readers slamming me as being in the same category for being a reckless driver.

Okay, okay. Let me clear this up. Yes, I did hit 100 mph, but it was only for maybe 5 seconds. I had passed a car at 75 and then hit the TransAm's accelerator a bit too lustily (easy to do in that car) and leaped to 100. Yes, it was a rush. Yes, I wanted to keep mashing that ol' exhillerator, as they say in Balmer. And yes, the road was dry and empty for miles ahead.

And yes, I slowed back down to 65. Okay, so it was 75. End of story.

Thanks for all your good driver warnings and your charges that I am a hypocrite. A hypocrite in a fast car. And thanks to the trauma nurse who REALLY scolded me. You're right. I've been baaaaad.

I'll do better starting tomorrow. Right. Sure.

And now, let the games begin!

Washington, DC: Hey Vic,
Just checking in to check out. If some folks enjoy your chat, more power to them, but I have found it a complete waste of time. I think that if any of your other hosts spent their time bragging about their mufflers, you would take them to the woodshed straight away. You have crossed the Kornheiser line, my friend, and really ought to evaluate the product. Remember, feeling that you are a unique individual is the most common sentiment of all, whether or not you wear a skull ring. Don't feel bad, but I am quite sure that you can do much better. Consider yourself challenged.

Vic Sussman: So I can put you down as "undecided"?

Herndon, VA: Saw on another "chat" you've had a producer's car stolen. No violence involved, I hope. Nothing like life in the big city . . .

Vic Sussman: Man, word really gets around fast, doesn't it?

Now go find the damned car...

Rockville, MD: Submitting this early b/c of a meeting...

LI: The weather today; Deion's suit; that hot chick in Mission: Impossible 2 (grrr); roasted duck at my favorite Chinese restaurant; 20 days until my vacation; drinks at Jaleo.

HI: The plethora of hit-and-run accidents lately; the absence of major league baseball in DC (I know, you're not a sports fan, but still...); greedy realtors; the "fisherman's" lawsuit; pressure at work making me feel like a manhole cover in Georgetown.

RI: (all 10s) My new-ish GF "J"; sleeping in on weekends until the crack of noon; getting a massage after a long workout; the website www.fredthepug.com

Vic Sussman: This could be the LIHIRI List O' the Day. Quite a compilation. Thanks...

Lexington Park, MD: Vic: Just one more thing on the smoking argument last week.

In the words of the great George Carlin: "Suppose you were eating in a restaurant, and every two minutes the guy at the next table threw some anthrax germs in the air. Wouldn't you want to sit in a different section?"

Vic Sussman: I would immediately ask the waiter to seat me in the
No Anthrax Section. And hope the restaurant had a really good ventilation system.

Salsa Lover: HI: It has been a sad week dealing with the death of Tito Puente. It is a shame more people of other ethnic backgrounds didn't get a chance to know his music. It crosses all sorts of lines.

HI2: That I can't go to the Puerto Rican Day parade this Sunday in NYC.

LI: My job! I gotta say working for the Air Force as a contractor is fantastic!!!!

RI: 10 for 10 - Live Online!

Vic Sussman: I was a Tito Puente fan and also mourn his loss. He made something well over 100 recordings and seemed to be part of the music scene since forever. His influence was immense, even to having one of his classics covered on the latest Santana album. The cool thing about Puente, in my view, was that he always seemed to be having a total blast as a performer.

Laurel, MD: OK, Vic. Where did you get the hat message and what does it mean?

Vic Sussman: The Hat Message today, for the benefit of Mac users and others who may not be able to find it, is "Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend."

The quote is from Woody Allen, famous theologian.

What does the quote mean? Are you kidding?

Arlington, Va.: Vic, I am a low-tech person who wants to find the transcripts for two programs held on May 11:

Mind Matters: Nancy Valentine re depression in the workplace

A special one-time discussion with Dr. Beck Weathers, author of Left for Dead." No host was listed in the paper that day.

When I tried to e-mail the Post for help and hit the send button, it said "connecting to pop 3." After a long wait, the message said, "connection to server has failed. Acct. 'pop3; server: unknown."
My Computer Services Office says they do not support this (something about security reasons).
You're my last chance in telling me how to find these two transcripts. Thanks!

Vic Sussman: Even as I type this, I'm sure that one of my crack producers is right now digging up that information. We will post it at the end of the hour, if not before. (BIG FAT, HULKING HINT TO MY PRODUCING STAFF...)

California, MD: Vic: Okay, I know you're not a sports fan, so let's make this a legal question. What do you think about the Baltimore Raven's linebacker Ray Lewis getting off on the murder charges?

Also, I was reading your archived discussions and was wondering, who is the mysterious "worst guest ever"? You say he was a politician type, and even threatened one of your staffers. I would really like to read his transcript.

Vic Sussman: On the Ray Lewis story: It's not about sports, it's about murder. From what I hear, the prosecutors couldn't make the charges stick and no witnesses actually saw Lewis stabbing anybody. So he testifies against the others and gets 12 months of probation. Interesting, no? What if he was just an ordinary joe and not a sports figure? Would the outcome be any different?

No comment on The Worst Guest Ever. I like living dangerously, but I'm not stupid.

PA: "All things in moderation"
-Benjamin Franklin

Obviously, you guys are crowding the noon-2pm slot with TOO MANY DISCUSSIONS!

Not a rant, nor a rave. Just an even-tempered observation from a harried mouse-clicker!

Vic Sussman: So hit Control N (or Command N on a Mac) and open up more windows. You can watch a bunch of Live Online sessions simultaneously. Try THAT on your TV set!

What can I say? Today we have an embarrassment of discussion riches.

washingtonpost.com: OK, frantic producer here. You can find Nancy Valentine's discussion at
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/liveonline/00/health/valentine0511.htm

and Beck Weathers at ...uh, I'll get back to you on that.

cubeland, USA: Long time reader, first time poster...

Anyway here's my rant: Tourist Rage!

I don't care what kind of one-horse town you're from, sometime in your life you have ridden on an escalator. And you don't STOP at the bottom and STAND THERE!

Thank you, that is all.

-Joan Arkham

Vic Sussman: Tourists in this town are the most fun when they are standing in front of a Metro card machine, trying to figure out where to put the money, which slot the card pops out of and what their existence really means.

washingtonpost.com: The Beck Weathers discussion can be found at http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/liveonline/00/authors/weathers0511.htm.

McLean, VA: Two questions:

1. What is the "fisherman's lawsuit"? I assume we're talking about the Janitor-who-went-fishing-on-Thanksgiving-with-his-cousin-who's-actually-the-fisherman.

2. Whatever happened with the monkey on the loose in Howard County?

Thanks.

Vic Sussman: Yes, the so-called Fisherman (really the Janitor-Fisherman), Mr. Dalrymple, has lodged a suit against Janet Reno, et al, for having a cop point a gun at him when he was hiding in a closet in a house not his own, holding a child not his, and violating a court order. Or something like that.

As for the monkey on the loose in Howard County, there is apparently no connection with Mr. Dalrymple, but we are still checking.

Mt. Rainier: Submitting this with relief: Just when it looked like Castro was going to look altogether too good in the Elian case, and everybody would forget that he is a dictator, he reminds us by trying to ship a couple Cuban doctors home by armed force. Thank you, Castro. America wins the PR battle on a TKO.

Vic Sussman: Let's see. I have to get this straight: Castro is a dictator. Duh. He's a very bad man. But China, a slightly repressive country that often bumps off its own people, is our friend and gets preferred trade status.

You'll explain all this to me when you have a moment, right?

Charlottesville, VA: LI: My beautiful son turned 2 yesterday. Being a Mommy is far and away the biggest blessing ever bestowed upon me.

LI2: 4 days of "alone-time" in Florida celebrating my best friends' wedding (on the beach at sunset...simply sublime)

HI: That life can't always be as perfect as it feels right now.

RI: Washington Post online. 10 of 10 LOVE IT!!!

Have a FABULOUS day!

Vic Sussman: Nobody can add anything to this except enjoy the day and all it brings.

(I'm getting mushy today...)

Burke, VA: Does this sound good to you? Leeks, Savoy cabbage, lima beans and goat cheese (yes, all together). From one of Kim's "foodies" yesterday. Gack!

Vic Sussman: Eat that salad if you will, but please don't get caught in an elevator with me. Yikes. The damage to the ozone layer alone frightens me.

Planet 9: Why does Live On-line sponsor a regular forum on astrology? It's bad enough that the print
version carries a daily horoscope column (for which even astrologers have little regard) without a disclaimer, but why would washingtonpost.com promote a long-discredited parlor trick?

Many of those poor people who write in need professional help with their lives; by giving astrology respectability you're steering them in the wrong direction.

Vic Sussman: I am not an astrology fan. Personally, I think it's all crap, to use a scientific term. But if I only presented material on Live Online that I approved of, we'd have a very strange (but interesting!) line-up. So I do what the newspaper does: I encourage my producers to come up with a variety of topics of general interest. Astrology, alas, fits that category. The paper presents it as entertainment, as do we.

That said, I do find that Charlene "Madam" Lichtenstein is a very reasonable person and is quite level headed. Some may find that a contradiction in terms, given that she "practices" astrology, but there it is.

EraserheadGuy, DC: I don't know about worst guests, but one of the best political guests you've had was yesterday's forum with former Indianapolis Mayor Bill Hudnut talking about public service. He was engaging, witty, and dryly humorous--my kind of Republican. He even answered my question--no, it WASN'T about "Eraserhead."

Vic Sussman: Wow!

Alert the media! (Never mind. We are the media. Sometimes I forget.)

Here's EraserheadGuy praising a Republican who isn't talking about The World's Greatest Movie. Amazing.

All credit goes to the mythic Bob Levey, who booked Mr. Hudnut for his Tuesday Levey Live.

Chandler, Arizona: Better call those Howard County monkey-handlers, because according to last night's television previews, everyone's favorite turtleneck/sport coat-wearing Fishitor-Janiman will be appearing on Bill Maher's "Politically Incorrect" show tonight. Can't wait, and let's hope those Maher Henckels are SHARP!!

Vic Sussman: Somebody should tell Bill Maher that Mr. Janitor-Fisherman stiffed Live Online for an appearance he guaranteed. If Dalrymple thought he was going to get a rough deal appearing with us, he ain't seen nothing yet if he tangles with Maher. If he actually shows up, it will be worth watching. I love blood sports.

Arlington, VA: The worst on-line guest should have been easy to pick - the "fisherman" Dalrymple for NOT SHOWING!

Vic Sussman: The worst non-guest, right.

Small town, Md: Hi Vic,

LI--Urban cowboys, especially the genetically enhanced.
HI--The local land of drones.
RI--Are you REALLY an atheist? Say it ain't so!!!!

Vic Sussman: I'm not going to comment on my theological bent. Suffice to say that the Hat Message is from Woody Allen. You can figure out the rest. Maybe with God's help.

Arlington, VA: One of my all time favorite t-shirt slogans: "If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?" ESPECIALLY when they're standing at the bottom of an escalator like a deer caught in the headlights. What, you people think it stops moving when you get off? Or is this some kind of snide hint that I should spend more time on a stairmaster?

(Disclaimer: I am unfailingly polite and helpful to visitors to our fair city. If I see them looking around in confusion, I usually go up to them, smile and politely offer to help. Bob Levey would be proud of me. Just cause I want to kill them doesn't mean I'm not polite to them. And, if I ever visit your city and you see me standing at the bottom of an escalator looking around like an idiot, please feel free to put me out of my misery.)

Vic Sussman: A wonderful line: "Just because I want to kill them doesn't mean I'm not polite to them."

This is really an all-purpose philosophy of life.

California, MD: Vic, on the same archive note, do you still insist that Bob Levey is just a bunch of people working together? I'm not sure about this, I think I saw him on the Metro a couple of times. The enormous amount of graying hair clued me in.

Vic Sussman: It could have been Herbert Haft. I sometimes get them mixed up.

But yes, it's true: Bob Levey is actually a committee of writers hired by The Post. The paper sometimes sends out an actor claiming to be the Real Bob Levey, but this is a ploy to increase circulation. Matt Drudge knows the full story but even he is afraid to tell the truth.

You read it here first.

Rockville, MD: HI: When I call people at their work number an ask for so-and-so, and they say "This is." I usually mistake it for "Who's this?" Is it so much harder for them to say "This is s/he"? Just a little mid-week rant from someone in customer service.

Vic Sussman: At least you don't get "Who wants to know?" Or "What's it to you?"

Mt. Rainier: Actually it's much easier to get God on the weekend than a plumber (or electrician or appliance repairman).

Vic Sussman: You sat around for hours thinking this up, didn't you?

WDC: LI: This beautiful weather! Spring in June!

HI: Smokers who throw their cigarette butts on the ground. This is LITTERING, and is no different than throwing any other form of trash on the ground.

RI: Would throw my full support (so 10 out of 10) behind fining people for this gross behavior!

Vic Sussman: Great. Now we'll have D.C. cops writing tickets for smokers tossing their butts around. More fun for the bureaucrats and another unenforceable law.

Barely Here at Work: LI: My new Ford Focus station wagon and Warren Brown's on-line car discussion that helped me pick it out! If figured if a Focus is good enough for Warren, it's good enough for me!

LI: Camping at Lake Anna this weekend! HOORAY!!!

HI: None--life's looking good and is too short to waste!

RI: Life in this area: 7 of 10 because we live so close to mountains, rivers, the bay and the ocean, making weekend adventures easy to plan and do for relatively little money (if you can sleep on the ground in a tent, that is).

Vic Sussman: Yes, the Washington area is great because there are so many places to go to get away from it all.

Bethesda, MD: LI: Exploding manhole covers in Georgetown - and now FIREBALLS! And according to PEPCO (although they could possibly have an interest in putting a spin on this), this is all due to Georgetown residents being waaay too cool to allow Metro into their neighborhood. Apparently, most of the rest of DC had their electrical systems upgraded when Metro was built.
HI: "more preferable" Are there no editors at the Post? This appeared in an article on the front page this morning, above the fold. I am not one of these people who combs the paper looking for obscure grammatical errors (those letters tend to show up in the Free For All section on Saturdays, along with people bitterly complaining about comic strips they find offensive - my advice to those people - if you find a comic strip offensive - STOP READING IT!) Duh.

Vic Sussman: And if a manhole cover blows up while you are walking down the street, DON'T LOOK AT IT!

Where is Bishop Berkeley when we really need him?

Fairfax, VA: Please hear my grumbling despite its all too repetitive theme -- the commute.

There are too many HOV violators on 66.
Despite the Police's regular traps, I see way too many people breaking the law and making 66 slower than it should be for those who carpool.

An additional HOV complain. The hours aren't long enough. The lanes should be closed for non HOV from DC to the beltway until 7:30.

As seen by the everyday commuter, the state hasn't provided an adequate incentive to carpool (violators/hours) or take public transportation (much more expensive).

Vic Sussman: Any further comments from commuters similarly outraged? I don't have to drive this route, thank goodness, so I can only imagine the frustration.

Burke, VA: Remember the first time you were faced with a Metro farecard machine? I did not grow up as a Suave Urbanite and distinctly remember standing there looking like a monkey doing calculus. (Oh, that monkey again.) So now I take pity and help out the confused tourists.

Vic Sussman: It is a little known fact that Metro fare card machines dance around at night when the stations are empty. You could look it up.

Bethesda, Md (gv): LI: This incredible weather and the outdoors in general
HI: How the gas stations play with gas prices. When the oil price goes up, you see the gas prices go immediately up, but when the oil price goes down, it takes for ever to see it reflected on the gas prices.

Vic Sussman: Now, now. You don't think that the oil companies are trying to make money by manipulating us, do you? You cynic, you.

Rockville, MD again: Forgot my LI: reading Harry Potter aloud. No, not to my kids (because there aren't any yet) --- to my boyfriend. We take turns reading the books to each other. It's a lot of fun and puts the books in a whole new (funnier) perspective --- especially if you can do voices. (Also can be very romantic if you're reading . . . something else.)

RI: J.K. Rowlings: 10+!

Vic Sussman: I love the Harry Potter books, so you've got my vote. I love the idea of adult lovers reading the book aloud. Very sexy, very smart, very different.

Washington DC: In defense of tourists: Do you people think that 'stand to the right' is some kind of inborn natural law? Most Metro stations have no signage informing passengers to stand to the right, so they don't have any way of knowing it's any different than the escalator at the mall, where most people just stand. Sheesh.

It sure looks like the weather is making everyone slap-happy today--with good reason. Just wish I could play hookey and enjoy it more!

Vic Sussman: Oh please. You are standing on a mechanical staircase. There are probably a bunch of people behind you. Some of them don't want to stand and will walk down or up the escalator. It doesn't take a huge cranial capacity to realize that standing to the right and letting people go by is a wise choice. I guess I should have more patience, but I don't have time.

Alexandria, VA: Hey Vic. I realize some journalistic credo may discourage you from proudly proclaiming "Yes, I am FREE from the oppression of religious belief of any kind. My mind is my own and my morality is not dictated to me by antiquated hypocritical institutions, but is determined by the principals of humanistic decency." But it's a shame more atheists won't "come out." There reluctance to do so gives fuel to the religionists who want to demonize free-thinkers as amoral.

Vic Sussman: Journalistic credos are hell and then you die alone.

L.A.: Last year I was fortunate enough to attend the Grammy's and the official after-party's featured musical guest was Tito Puente. He rocked the house until 3 a.m. and I've never salsa'd so hard in my life. He was a ball of energy and had more life in him than most of us can acquire in a lifetime.

I'll never forget that night. Many people of all backgrounds appreciated Tito.

Vic Sussman: Well said. Farewell to a great artist.

Springfield, VA: LI: the story about the United flight that diverted to Denver to save the dog in cargo.

HI: Everyone acted like this was completely unprecedented. However, last year I was on a USAirways flight to Amsterdam that diverted to Boston on behalf of a cat in cargo, and that story got no press.

Also LI: The folks who complain that "we save a dog but don't address the problems of our fellow humans." Grr--It's not a zero-sum game, people! Many if not most animal lovers are just as likely to want to help humans in need. And I submit that animal haters are often indifferent to people, too.

RI: The weather today=10. Would that all summer could be so nice. Never mind, I'm going to Norway in August to escape the DC heat!

Vic Sussman: The big story of the day: Cats don't get no respect.

Bottom line: If it was your dog, you'd kiss the pilots.

Rockville, MD: Thank you for getting Marty Gallagher as an online host. He's terrific; clear, strong writing style and he has a sincere desire to help us. I believe he is the only host who answers every question posed to him, even using his free time to prepare answers.

I have taken his advice on squats and it has worked wonders on my progress.

Vic Sussman: I am hopelessly biased when it comes to Marty. As many of you know, Marty is my friend, mentor, training partner and Indian Guide to the Spirit World. Marty's guidance is no-nonsense. You either do the hard work in the gym and quit your whining, or take up shuffleboard.

Once in San Fran...: Re: Escalator Rage, Metro Rage, etc... Several years ago, when I had the good fortune to vist SF, CA, tried to figure out the ticket machine for the trolleys. VERY helpful "gentlemen" in jumpsuits keeping everyone straight on the buttons to push, and in what order. Maybe they weren't homeless, but they were certainly enterprising, and kept the line moving - definitely worth a buck! I've thought ever since, someone should do that with the farecard machines here, but I never see it. Maybe Metro shoos them away? I would hope not...
(Never mind that I should have just jumped on the damn trolley and skipped the ticket business, but whatever)

Vic Sussman: "Gentlemen in Jump Suits."

Great name for a swing band.

Reston (not by choice) VA: Vic,

Am I correct in thinking that I occasionally used to hear your voice on the Marketplace radio program? I seem to recall you doing reports on books on tape, education software and the like. Am I recalling semi-correctly, or do I need to start taking Ginko extract?

As for the usual rants.....

LI: Cool misty weather like we've had lately.

HI: SunTrust taking over Crestar bank operations. My dealings with SunTrust reps lead me to believe that the full name of the bank is Sun-of-a-BitchTrust.

Another HI: Asthma and grass pollen allergy. Jeeze, how's a cyclist supposed to get his time in the saddle if he can't breathe? I guess I'm going to have to stay in the weight room until early July.

Vic Sussman: Yes, I was (or have been) a regular commentator for Marketplace for many years. I've been on hiatus for a while because Live Online keeps me so busy. And yes, you've also heard my voice on The Diane Rehm Show and other venues. I miss doing radio, but the Web is all-consuming.

Alexandria, VA: What really works well is the Virginia DMV! I recently had to switch a car's title from North Carolina to Virginia. Not only did I receive a quick and accurate response on the telephone but had a fast and easy 10 minute experience actually getting it done at a VA DMV office. What a change from years ago when I spent multiple hours and repeated visits getting my vanity license plate moved from one car to another. Kudos to whoever is behind the dramatic improvement. Keep up the good work!

Vic Sussman: Rare indeed to see nice words here for a state bureaucracy. Sometimes the system works.

wdc: HI: the exploding manhole covers. We've been lucky so far. One of these days, a manhole cover or a fireball is bound to hit somebody.

And it's all fun and games till someone loses an eye. (Or other parts.)

Vic Sussman: Thanks. One more thing to worry about. I never used to even think about manhole covers and now I'm obsessed with them. I dream about manhole covers. I see them in my mind's eye. I'm afraid my sister is going to marry an exploding manhole cover.

Help me before I kill again.

Arlington, VA: LI: United Airlines compassion.
HI: People who claim that we should address human suffering first. I think a prior poster said it best - it's not a zero-sum game people!!
RI: On line Washington Post - 10+

Vic Sussman: Right. So every time we do something good for a dog, we have to do something nice for a human. Does that work both ways? And how about monkeys on the loose in Howard County? Really, if you were a monkey, would you choose Howard County as a place to run around? Maybe. No reports of exploding manhole covers in Howard County.

Dale City: LI - I saw two motorcycle cops who had pulled over a HOV violator on 95 last week. Strapped to the back of one cop's bike was a dummy complete with sunglasses and wig.

Vic Sussman: Cops get lonely too.

McLean, VA: I too had a great experience at the DMV in Alexandria two years ago. I was there to get a license and register a car from out of state. They called me up before I finished filling out the paperwork, they were so fast.

Tonight I'm off to the DC DMV for the same drill. Something tells me it won't be as painless...

Vic Sussman: We are starting a new LIHIRI Chapter: Great Moments at the DMV.

I think I need a nap.

Arlington, VA: Fairfax says public transportation is too expensive compared to driving.

Hmm. I spend 50 minutes a day curled up in my seat on the train (or, yeah, standing on the platform) reading a good book. You spend how many hours stuck in traffic getting steamed at all the other idiot drivers?

I'm paying $2.20 a day to get, how much, one hour, two hours of my life back every day. I can tell you who I think is getting the bad deal here...

Vic Sussman: Some of us are so unlucky that we don't live on a Metro line. Life sucks and then you get stuck in traffic. And manhole covers are exploding all around you. Didn't I see this movie?

Arlington, VA: Love it: The weather, again! Vic you make the sun shine on Wednesdays.
Hate it: Mmmmm. All the troubles in the world, I suppose, but I'm trying not to think about it.
Rate it: 9/10 That an old promise will result in my babysitting this Saturday night, so a friend can go to a beautiful evening wedding in Alexandria. After all, it's just one Saturday night.

Re: cigarette butts on the sidewalk, bad driving, etc. As I've ranted on Levey's chat: the answer is NOT, NEVER WAS, NEVER WILL BE, more enforcement. These little things chip away at our civility, but the cops are the wrong solution. No, it's just one person at a time behaving in a civil manner. Yes: you can nicely ask someone to pick up their butt. But No: you should not seek justice on the roads.

Oh yes, quit whining and vote for someone other than the two major parties this fall!

Vic Sussman: I'm voting for the monkey in Howard County.

DC: Vic, I realize that you are a very busy man…but could you please answer my question: Why won't my questions submit to Bob Levey's discussions when they will submit to all the other discussions?

Vic Sussman: Interesting question for which I have no answer. We have not sabotaged Bob's software (I have doubts about The Grey Haired Wonder's wetware, however) and haven't heard about this problem before. We'll look into it.

Curious: What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Vic Sussman: Nothing. I spend too much time in the gym to squander it on something so calorific. But I'm easily seduced on Sunday, my one day to eat whatever the hell I want.

rockville: LI: Repo Man. Saw it again last night.

HI: Not much to hate today.

RI: Rockville's new Mixed Paper Recycling: 10 of 10. I am down to 2 grocery bags a week. This city lets you recycle egg cartons and concrete!

Vic Sussman: Repo Man is one of my all-time favorite movies. I've seen it half a dozen times. My favorite line is when Harry Dean Stanton, as the Repo Man, is looking out of his car window at people along the street. And he says, "Ordinary [expletive] people, I hate them."

You had to be there.

Atlanta, GA: LI: I love the astrology chats. Charlene is actually very down to earth and provides very helpful advice and guidance. Actually I work as a scientist (I'm pretty good at it too) and I find astrology to be very helpful in both my personal and professional life in understanding trends and personalities. I don't think planets directly influence our behavior (although they might) but I do find that what happens in the sky is often symbolic of what is happening on earth. It is simply one tool that can be used to increase understanding of our existence. Certainly there are other tools out there that may work better for other people. If you studied anything long enough (from the lines on your palm to the pattern your toenails make on the floor when you cut them off) you could probably a pattern that would increase understanding of your past, future, and place in the universe. Why does everything have to be proven scientifically to have merit. Why are Americans so determined to nail everything down and prove it. Doesn't mythology, symbolism, or mysticism have any role in today's society? No matter how hard we try we will never be able to prove what lies on the other side of the universe or what happens after death. I say embrace the unknown and mysterious in life. I don't know why astrology works for me - it just does for the moment.

Vic Sussman: Very, very interesting post. I like your comment about embracing the mysterious. As a lover of magic, I agree that it's all too easy to kill mysteries by over-analysis. But your approach to astrology is far more rational (another contradiction in terms?) than most. It sounds like you're using the information to increase your insight, not as a magical and flawless guide.

As I said, interesting view.

Somewhere in Md: Regarding your lead foot and the Trans Am--so your human...and honest...and nobody else was on the road...right! Too many people with not enough to do, I guess. Its fun to hear real stories from our heroes!

Vic Sussman: Now I'm a hero?

You need to get out more. But thanks.

WDC: Vic, you just missed Carolyn Hax's discussion. Maybe she could help with the potential manhole cover/brother in law problem.
LI - Today's weather
HI - Critical people
RI - your chat +100!

Vic Sussman: Dear Carolyn,

My manhole covers keep exploding. Is this because I'm too young to date or because my parents hate me?

Confused and explosive in Rosslyn

Another Tito Tribute: Vic,

I had the honor of seeing Tito Puente play at a free concert/clinic for GW students when I was a freshman, about 5 years ago. It was absolutely amazing. The room was packed, everyone was dancing, and Tito played his arms off! I'll never forget the joy he brought to the 500 or so people packed into that room.

Vic Sussman: The guy was one of a kind.

Va Native: Here's an idea for potentially cutting back on road rage, and increasing use of public transportation: make driver's licenses MUCH more difficult to get. They should be renewed every year, with full testing, and cost $100 -- or more, if necessary, to ensure the DMVs are staffed to handle the load; to reduce the number of people applying for them; and to fund improvements in roads and mass transpo. Whaddya think?

Vic Sussman: Okay, at the risk of sounding like a liberal, what about poor folks who have to drive to get to their low-paying jobs. Why should we punish them? Or do you want to see state-subsidized drivers licenses for the disadvantaged? Yikes. One more layer of bureaucracy.

But I agree that it's too easy for too many people to drive cars. Some of these folks should be forced to buy a license to walk.

Falls Church, VA: I-66 HOV violators - not all of them get away. The Fairfax County cops often set up check points in the afternoons on the exits for I-66 heading West. Saw many HOV violators pulled over as I exited one evening last week on my motorcycle (hee hee). This system is great in that it catches violators without disrupting traffic on 66 - kudos Fairfax!

Vic Sussman: A policeman's lot is never a happy one, so it's nice to hear a compliment or two for the troopers.

Chevy Chase, MD: AAAAAACK!! I have that "what would you do for a Klondike bar" song in my head! It's appalling to think I'm actually taking up memory space in my brain by knowing EVERY WORD.

Vic Sussman: I have two words for you: "Louie, Louie."

Luckily in Md, not Georgetown: How is it that in la-d-da Georgetown, the manhole covers keep exploding? Don't they have some CLOUT?

Vic Sussman: The story I hear is that Georgetown clout has kept Pepco from doing certain things to electrical lines in that part of town. And not doing those things apparently makes manhole covers go flying in all directions. And produces fireballs from time to time. This is known as genteel living. I'm moving to Howard County as soon as the monkey phones in.

Alexandria: Hate it: That giant fan at the Farragut West Metro station, 18th Street exit. It's placed exactly at eye-drying-out and hairdo-messing-up level. It assaults passengers as they come from Virginia and exit the station. I hate the thought of closing my eyes and ducking that thing for the whole summer ahead. It's ridiculous!

Vic Sussman: The anti-fan rant. First of the day.

Portland, Oregon: How come when I try to give to the Send a Kid to Camp campaign online, a page comes up saying "we can't take contributions online right now, please donate by phone"?

I thought Bob said in his column today that online contributions were rolling in fast and furious. What am I doing wrong?

Vic Sussman: Write Bob at leveyb@washpost.com. He'll have an answer for you.

DC: Just wondering, Vic, if you have the scoop on the ACTUAL fisherman - Dalrymple's cousin. Haven't seen or heard much from him, unless the camera-hogging, sue-happy Dalrymple. Any ideas on where he's been during this mess?

Vic Sussman: He wasn't a fisherman either but a business man who happened to be out fishing that day. He's kept out of the limelight and is, from what my producer Clara Frenk tells, me mortally ashamed of his cousin's antics.

Mt. Rainier: Many actual poor people do not own cars, because it's too expensive - not the car itself, cause you can buy a junker, but the insurance and state taxes and gas and repairs (which a junker will need lots of). So actual poor people actually share rides or take the bus.

Vic Sussman: And eat cake.

Alexandria, VA: Stuck in South Carolina on business and love being able to connect with my fellow D.C.area folks..
HI - there is a good ole' boy band by the pool trying to sing reggae. There is nothing worse than a deep southern accent trying to affect a carribean sound. Stick to C&W;. like Clint Eastwood used to say, "A man's got to know his limitations..."
LI - the beach out here is wonderful.
RI - the weather is sunny and 80ish with no humidity. Still can't wait to come home though.
Love your stuff.. used to only read Carolyn Hax online, now I can't wait for Wednesdays!

Vic Sussman: I'm trying to imagine a Bubba singing reggae but I keep getting queasy at the thought.

Sartre was right: Hell is other people.

Curious still...: Hmm. What would you do for a carrot stick?

Vic Sussman: Not much. What did you have in mind?

Washington, D.C.: LI: People are actually saying nice things about D.C. now that we have a capable mayor.

HI: People who buy gas guzzling SUVs then cry like babies when the price of gas rises.

Vic Sussman: Gas guzzling TransAm owners never weep at the pump. We snivel a bit, however.

Out there: Maybe its too late to get this in, but Re: the more civility poster -- Bushwah! What we need is a death penalty for minor infractions (like cigarette butt littering). A few people in a city would have this power (they would be anonymous). Only a few people would have to die and EVERYBODY would start to toe the line. You could probably even get terminally ill patients to volunteer to be offed for a small stipend. No more road rage, no more litter bugs -- basically everybody would THINK before doing. Life would be wonderful -- until you got caught with 16 items in the express line.

Vic Sussman: A beautiful thought to end our inflated hour with (along with ending a sentence with a preposition).

As the celebrated tee shirt says, "Kill 'em all and let God sort them out."

Or as the LIHIRI poster said earlier, just because you want to kill everybody doesn't mean you can't be polite.

I hope no children are reading this.

And with that, kind (murderous) souls, we end another edition of Dada on the Web, aka LIHIRI, the Web show that asks the question, if there is no sound in cyberspace, then why is everybody screaming?

Please come back next week for more abuse and wisdom.

Love you madly...