Wednesday, July 26, 2000, 1 pm EDT

Vic Sussman By Reginald Pearman, Jr/ washingtonpost.com

What works?

What doesn't?

What stinks?

What zings?

Welcome to Love It, Hate It, Rate It! An hour or more of reader-generated rooting, ranting and raving about things, events and people--good, bad and indifferent. Whether you're a cynic or Little Mary Sunshine incarnate, this is your chance to ask questions, make rash statements, believe three impossible things before breakfast and tickle your keyboard as you pick at the social fabric.

Tell the world, such as it is, who's great or merely grating. Pin a label on it: Heaven or Hype? What's in, what's out, what's phat or just goes splat?

Your host is Live Online's Executive Producer, Vic Sussman, who emits an unearthly blue light from his forehead when annoyed.

Sussman has a long background in broadcasting and print journalism. The author of three nonfiction books, he was previously the Personal Tech columnist for The Washington Post Magazine, Book World's audio book reviewer, and a senior editor specializing in cyberspace at U.S.News & World Report. Sussman's interests veer wildly from the vagaries of computer-mediated communication to the skeptical subculture, weight lifting, and magic as a performance art. He is not a minion of Satan, but negotiations continue.

You may read past sessions of LIHIRI in Vic's archives.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. Some of the guests don't even understand the questions, need to bathe more often and are one brick shy of a load, but we love them anyway. Additionally, Vic Sussman, hereafter referred to as Da Host, takes no responsibility for anything he says on LIHIRI or for anything he does in his spare time that involves roadkill, taxidermy and fava beans or for believing that we are all billard balls on the random Table of Life or for postings by LIHIRI's strange audience, obviously composed of people who wear collanders on their heads, have tiny radios implanted in their molars and are directed by clandestine messages from Executive Editors based on the Planet Zog.

Vic Sussman:

Woo-woo!

It's that time again, Web denizens, for another edition of LIHIRI, your psychocybernetic drug of choice. We are the only Web show that uses the pick-up line, "So, honey, how about we go back to my place, get naked, and solve Fermat's Theorem?"

Normally (what's normal here is currently under analysis by the American Psychological Association) I would stop here to go into my own rant or rave of the day. But today, dear friends, I have an announcement I'm not happy to make: Today marks the next-to-last edition of LIHIRI. (Maybe the last, if somebody pulls the plug.) I am leaving washingtonpost.com for another position with another Web company.

So is that my LI or my HI of the day? Hmmmm. You'll have to work on that one. But leaving this show is a definite and very big

HATE IT

Ahhrrggh!

I'd better stop now before I start weeping into my keyboard. The tears might mix with the moldy food residues (all of us hard-working folks at washingtonpost.com eat at our keyboards) and accidentally produce those notorious explosives made from common household chemicals.

Besides, our time today is better spent getting to your loves, hates, rants and raves. Should you wish to write to me, to say nasty things or to find out where I'm going and what I'll be doing, send e-mail to IronVic@musclemail.com. I'll try to answer as many missives as possible.

Soooooo, as I will say only one more time on LIHIRI:

Let the games begin!

Bethesda, MD: Vic -

When are we going to see a chat with Lisa de Moraes?? She is fabulous!

Vic Sussman: You'll have to take that up with the next head of Live Online, whoever that happens to be.

DC: hiya vic,
Are you being dissed? Live Online links pushed to the bottom of the page?

Vic Sussman: We are apparently victims of the new home page design. That's the way the Web crumbles. The home page can't fit everything, so something had to get squeezed. Us, in this case. 'Nuff said.

Philly, PA: Serious question tho; Vic:

Some weeks your schedule is full of cool stuff; other weeks its kind of light... wondering: do the producers have a 'quota' they have to fill or does your schedule ebb-and-flow with everything else?

Vic Sussman: We ebb and flow according to the news, the energy level of producers, the working environment, the alignment of the stars, the amount of fiber the staff has eaten...

Capitol Hill: Where's today's hat quote from? It sounds like something you'd read in a fortune cookie. That said....Confucius?

Speaking of fortune cookies, have you ever added "in bed" to the end of the fortune? It makes them much more entertaining.

Vic Sussman: Today's Hat Quote: "Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet." It's apparently an old African proverb. Kewl, no?

WDC: I'm submitting this early because I can't stop laughing. For starters you (I'm assuming it was your choice, since you "-do] a great show, and run a tight ship...") put Bob Levey's quote about you on the front page of Live Online. And what really made me fall out of my chair (much to the amusement of the rest of the office) was Bob's photo caption reading "This is not Sonny Barger." And, before you repeat yourself, yes we all now know that Mr. Levey is a conglomerate of people fronted by a guy from central casting, and so putting that caption on the photo can hardly be insulting to a non-existent person. Kudos to you and your crack staff for making my day just a little brighter.
Thanks.

Vic Sussman: I am always thrilled to hear that we actually made somebody laugh out at their computer. I may make this my mission in life. As for the Bob Levey quote about me, that was the work of my wonderful producers Jen Kwan and Eleanor Hong, who make my work life worth living.

The tag on Bob's picture ("This is not Sonny Barger") was my doing, I'll admit. It's the kind of gag Bob loves. Now that I'm down to the wire on this show, I am willing to reveal that my insistence that Bob Levey isn't a real person has been (gasp!) a hoax. Some people actually believed me, much to my and Bob's delight.

Bob Levey is indeed real. He is, in fact, one of the most real people you'll ever meet. One of the great joys of working at washingtonpost.com for the past two years has been the chance to get to know Bob. We have a mutual teasing society, as you may have guessed. I'll miss dissing him.

Washington, DC: This is James Hill, former Style Live producer and almost inductee to the Live Online team. I just wanted to drop a note of congrats on your wonderful section and seeing a lot of the plans you had come to fruition. The site is blazin'!

Vic Sussman: Folks, James Hill (now at bet.com) is one of the coolest people I know. And yes, I tried to get him to join Live Online but he went for the big bucks instead. So hi, James. (I have your e-mail and will drop you a digital line or two.) And yes, LOL was blazin' for the past year, thanks to a great staff. But now, well, onward and upward.

Somewhere out there in cyberspace: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You can't leave your devoted (and demented) LIHIRI audience behind! Boo-hoo!

washingtonpost.com: Vic, they love you!!!!

Vic Sussman: And I love them. Really. It's so weird, feeling close to people I've never met in person. No faces, no body language, no voices. Just text. Computer-mediated communication is endlessly amazing.

Raleigh, NC: You're leaving?! -thud- <gulp> You're the best.

Vic Sussman: Thank you.

Boston, MA: I just read your opening, you totally not
leaving, say it ain't true Vic!
sob....sob...sob....sob....

Vic Sussman: Yes, next week will mark the last LIHIRI. If you have questions for management (not me), write to webnews@washpost.com. I'm announcing my leaving today because I know so many of you don't make it to every show. I didn't want to disappoint anybody a week from now. Man, I am getting just too mellow...

Alex: Amoeba Barf Man, meet your cousin, Psychedelic Yawn Dude:

:-P====-----------

LI: Anxiously awaiting Rowling's #2 Potter paperback, coming out soon!

HI: Can't really think of anything at the moment.

RI: 200/10: amateur radio. What a cool hobby!

Vic Sussman: Amateur radio is cool, but I think the next wave is Internet radio. Low-cost, simple, available to anyone with a computer, modem, ISP, microphone. Where is MacLuhan when we really need him?

Cupertino, CA: As the first recipient of the ABM last week (for the sin of using the word chat...oops, I did it again), I must admit to being a bit bewildered by it all. Of all the places I expected to find an oasis free of political correctness, it was this chat...oops, I mean electronic discussion forum. The irreverence is a lot of what I love about this...whatever it is. If you're gonna have terminology police monitoring the discussion, it probably won't be as much fun.

LI: This, um, forum
RI: The ABM graphic -> 10; The idea that there are editors making value judgments about submissions -> -1000

washingtonpost.com: You're on probation.

Vic Sussman: Aha. We've bewildered you. The plan is working. Hey, chill out. The Barf Man thing is a big joke, just like almost everything else we do here (unless we are being serious, which happens sometimes when we get rational). As for enforcing the no-chat rule, I am sort of serious about that. I hate the word "chat" applied to Live Online. We don't chat. We discuss. We converse (intelligently, we hope). You wanna chat, gather 'round the cracker barrel with some good ol' boys and talk about them 'Skins. But we are hardly language cops. We're just bustin' your chops. And can you believe that we get paid to do this?

Laurel MD: Vic,

If you're actually leaving, why does the front page lead with "Jet Crash Clues Sought" and "Microsoft Files Court Appeal"?!?!?!?

Vic Sussman: Ha. You think my passage will be noted? By the LIHIRI crowd, perhaps, and by my beloved staff. Otherwise, I am leaving the way I walked in two years ago: Anonymous and iconoclastic. No sheet cake parties for me, please. (I wouldn't eat the cake anyway.)

sleepyhead: HI:Robert Downey Jr.'s interview from the prison. He looked pathetic trying to look happy and satisfied with a prison life. He had so many chances to not go to a prison.
Also, why did they do the interview in the first place?

LI:Washington Post's article on therapy dogs.
Courageous people who took a chance and started training dogs as assistants to the physically challenged. Great!

RI:Metro's plan to shorten the time a train stops at each station:0/10. Dangerous and stupid.

Vic Sussman: Why did they do the Robert Downey interview? Hmm. Because the fall of an actor who apparently had it all (including, as you point out, many chances to stay out of prison) is an interesting and sad story.

On Metro's plan to shorten the stops: Great idea. In fact, they shouldn't stop the trains at all. This would solve the problem of overcrowding, make the system far more efficient and open up a lot more spaces at the Metro parking lots. The problem with Metro, after all, is that those trains are filled with PEOPLE! Hasn't anybody noticed this? Just keep the trains running 24/7.

North Arlington: Vic, I just wanted to pass a big LOVE IT out to the person who recommended the Shirlington Texaco. It is open for emissions inspections until 8 p.m., M-Sat. I LOVE Live Online.

by the way, I'm a gal, not a dude

Vic Sussman: We have been happy to help you with your emission problem. Not every Web show can make that statement.

capitol hill honey: LI: That my vacation starts on Friday and I'll be going to ocean city.
HI: That my husband can't go cause he has jury duty.............

Vic Sussman: Write back and tell us who has the most fun.

Arlington, VA: Vic, Well, in a word, this sucks. You're leaving? Who else will treat as harshly and kindly as you do? I take it back; this doesn't just suck, it REALLY sucks.

Vic Sussman: Yes, but the odds are that I will start a similar show elsewhere on the Web. Cyberlalaland is a big place. As I said, writing me at IronVic@musclemail.com might give you a clue about my next move. Assuming I know what that is...

Kefir Girl: Vic-

Say it ain't so is so, well, overused. But say it ain't so!!!! What will we do on Wednesdays? What will become of all us Muggles and Mudbloods? (Who knows where the Eloi will be without you around to tell us). Thanks for sharing your time, wit, and good humour with us. It has been a great trip.

Have you thought of having a LIHIRI farewell party somewhere? That would be entertaining and you know we'd all come out to fete you.
Besides, don't you want to know what kefir girl, eraserhead guy, etc. look like?

Vic Sussman: Hmm. You're reading my mind. I was thinking about asking the assembled (in the Washington area) to meet me one evening for a drink or two (or more, knowing this crowd). There's a danger in this, of course. I may not be who or what you think I am. Not tall enough. Not enough hair. So it goes. And you may not meet my expectations.

But so what? Is this a dating service or a gathering of kindred spirits?

So where should we all meet? And when?

Bethesda, MD: I'll be sorry to see you go, but please don't compound the bad news by telling us that your buddies -- e.g., Marty Gallagher -- will leave LOL now that you're going.

Vic Sussman: Marty will hang around as far as I know. LOL would be crazy to lose him.

District of Chaos: So Vic,

What happened with this "jumper" in SW? I heard about it, all covered on the evening news, then nothing. So what is the deal?

Vic Sussman: The rumor is that the would-be bridge jumper is going to be the new head of Live Online. I could be wrong about this, however.

Baltimore, MD: Could you possibly be the webperson at Muscle &Fitness? Marty must be proud.........

Vic Sussman: No. I visit that site, as you might guess, but I have no connection other than a love for the iron.

DC: Admit it - you're leaving for stock options!

Vic Sussman: Naw. I was seduced that way once before, but managed to wisely escape before I became a millionaire. It takes more than stock options to corrupt me. (But I'm open to any offer that doesn't involve selling bodily organs, mine or those of close personal friends.)

tysons, va: LI-my boyfriend, marty "kick your ass" gallagher, trips to europe, working out, and my big fat raise!
HI- all this rain, the fact that you are leaving, traffic
RI- 100/10 living in the dc area!

Vic Sussman: Well, I like rainy days myself. They make me feel like a character out of an Ingmar Bergman film and I save money on sunblock.

Curious: Are you staying in the Washington Metropolitan area, or is this a total move?

Vic Sussman: You can't get rid of me that easily.

Buzzards Point, DC: How about a chance for you fans to give you a send off next week after the ch.., er, discussion?

Vic Sussman: Wait. You're from "Buzzards Point" and you want to "send me off"? What, in concrete bedroom slippers and a dip in the Potomac?

Los Angeles: So, does Live Online continue? If so, why can't you stay? Can you explain?

Vic Sussman: Interesting existential question: Is LOL going to be the LOL you've come to enjoy without me? At the risk of outrageous egotism, fat chance.

McLean, VA: So you're not going to say online where you're going? Why not?

Vic Sussman: I'm not prepared to announce this just yet. No big secret, just a courtesy to my current employers and to my future ones. Let's just say that I'm not going to another newspaper or news site and I'm not going to AOL or Burger King.

Rockville, MD: Really sorry to see you go, Vic. A thousand wishes of good luck to you and yours.

LI: Finally deciding to get rid of my TV and forego the daily/nightly ritual of using the tube and couch to "recreate." I feel better already.

LI2: The cool rainy weather means no drought warnings. I expect to eat lotsa great local produce.

HI: The generation gap has got me. I saw the trailer for "Coyote Ugly" and it looks like perhaps the stupidest movie premise ever. I guess I'll be pricing Geritol soon (sigh).

HI2: Best friends are leaving my place of employment too. The modern economy doesn't allow for the opportunity to work for many years together with great colleagues. My dad used to talk about working with the same guys for 15 years and he loved it. What a shame.

RI: all 10s -- Books written by Haruki Murakami; my GF Jessie; grooving an 8-iron from 138 to within 6 ft of the cup; Rosanna Arquette's lips; a cold Sam Adams with my pals; any visual image of Isabella Rossalini.

Again, best to you Vic. Godspeed.

Vic Sussman: See, it's posts like this that distinguish LIHIRI. We are no better than our audience, and you're one of the best. Diversity uber alles.

The Many Phases of Vic: There have been a number of requests from LIHIRI participants, as well of participants in other ch...errr... discussions, for pictures of our Illustrious Moderator, Iron Vic.

So anyway, I had some downtime a few days ago and decided to use The Power of the Net to see if I could find some pictures of Vic.

Lo and behold.......

I couldn't find any pictures from the current, Iron Vic phase, but I was able to find some pictures from a couple of previous phases. For your enjoyment, I present you with the appropriate URLs.

To see a picture of Vic in his Early Ho Chi Minh phase, go to http://www.recumbents.com/whirl">http://www.recumbents.com/whirl
and look at the first picture under the title The History of Whirl. Yep, that's Vic, playing the role of Ho Chi Minh. Better red than dead, eh Vic?

To see a picture of Vic as that famous Superhero, The Flash, go to
http://www.recumbents.com/whirl/VIC-is-a-blur.gif

One look at this picture, and you just -know- that Vic is running Flowmasters on his exhaust system. Just stay out of Vic's slipstream, folks.

For a picture of Vic psoing proudly next to his rig, go to
http://www.recumbents.com/whirl/VIC1.gif

Notice that even in this phase, Vic is a firm believer in color coordination. Clothes make the man, eh Vic? Just try saying that in a nudist colony.

Anyway, I thought The Producer and the LIHIRI participants would enjoy these links.

washingtonpost.com: He looks even better in person. But check this out:

http://www.vicsussman.com/vic.gif

Vic Sussman: I'm blushing.

Central Virginia: Vic - I am so sad you'll be leaving. I've been a LIHIRI stalker over these last few months - peeking in, getting my thrills, not submitting too much - and it's been great. I did send a couple of requests to the Live OnLine email for a guest to talk about pets (specifically animal shelter adoptions) and was thrilled to see a discussion with a veterinarian scheduled for this Friday. That happiness is much diminished by news of your departure. Thanks, and best wishes. (But does this make you a muggle like the rest of us?)

Vic Sussman: I am not now and never have been a Muggle. Call Al's Magic Shop in DC and ask how long I've been a customer for conjuring supplies. True, it ain't Diagon Alley, but it's close enough for me.

Baltimore-Washington: Vic, Brian Morton here, friend in magic and pal of Regan ...

You can't quit! This has become my Wed. lunch guilty pleasure! (And I think I'm secretly developing an e-crush on Clara Frenk).

Don't drop off the face of the earth on us and make it up to B-more sometime. We'll save some faceless food for you...

Vic Sussman: Hi Brian!

Had I know you were sneaking in here I might have changed my employment plans. (And hi to Regan, wherever she is.)

See, folks: Brian will tell you I'm no Muggle.

DC: You are one of several WP web people to leave recently. . . is these something going on over there (management-wise) that we should know about? Are they not being nice anymore? I did notice they put you at the bottom of the web page.

BTW, I hate it when people keep changing their web page design.

Vic Sussman: Gee, maybe you should ask The Post's media expert, Howard Kurtz.

Didjabringabeeralong, Australia: HI: my patronizing, micromanaging, control freak of a boss. What a pinhead.

LI: buying two new Terry Pratchett novels at work so I can get back in a good mood when I go home.

RI: Sussman baling on washingpost.com, 0 of 10, 'cause they're not gonna find anyone else as good at upsetting people as you are.

Vic Sussman: Gee, do you Aussies actually have patronizing, micromanaging, control freaks as bosses down there? I thought, given that your country was founded by hardened convicts, that you'd know what to do when you get kicked around. Don't tell me you folks are softening up...

Waldorf: What makes LOL so much fun to participate in is the variety of ch... oops .. discussions regularly available each week. I especially like the LOL discussion with Post columnists because these folks are exceptional in taking both compliments and criticisms in stride. It is also greatly interesting to read how the discussions cross one another.

Vic, you've built the best discussion site on the web and I hope Washingtonpost.com realizes it and doesn't mess with such a great thing!

Vic Sussman: Thanks for the compliment. Alas, my crystal ball is cloudy at the moment.

Aspen Hill: Yay! Your leaving!!!
Thank God.

Vic Sussman: Yes. I'm so happy for you. Now you won't have to actually log on to a Web program that you dislike. You'll have lots more free time to indulge in other things you don't like doing. Like thinking rationally, treating others with some respect and actually living as though your zombie-like existence had some meaning or purpose.

McLean, VA: HI: The lack of fashion savvy among my male tech-type co-workers. Here's a typical ensemble: faded navy polo shirt with vendor logo, black pants, unpolished black shoes, brown belt, bad haircut. It's like they're TRYING to not get dates...no wonder they snivel about being alone.

Vic Sussman: Interesting. And I got hell from a reader here last week because I mentioned that I had a custom-made suit and enjoyed dressing well when the occasion required it. Some people think that if you enjoy life you should be punished for your conceit. Strange, no?

Kensington Md: Dear Vic,
I have truly enjoyed the opportunity you have given us mere mortals to joust, lament, extol and vivisect the wonderful landmine that is your gray matter. We, in our seemingly pathetic way, are richer for it. Wednesdays have been a bright spot for the variety of homo sapiens whose fingers find their way through this cyber-ether and are lucky (or suitably demented enough) to have found one of Satan's minions to jump start their afternoon.
Please accept my thanks for the ways you have made me laugh out loud and your absolute OPEN MINDEDNESS of all things bizarre and wonderful.
LOVE IT - the feel of my lover's touch and the quiet of this morning's rain making me want to sleep and whisper all day long
HATE IT - that some gorgeous moments come to and end too soon (see above)
RATE IT - The air today feels like cashmere and brings me woozily back to our playfulness

Vic Sussman: I am not often speechless....

Blaguard: Will you be holding discussions in your new stead? I'll skip over to there if I need to!

Dang, and just when I came up with a catchy nickname!

Vic Sussman: Write to IronVic@musclemail.com for more information (when I have it).

Someone who should be working, DC: YOU STINK FOR LEAVING! STINK!

Now who will we abuse?

Vic Sussman: Write to webnews@washpost.com and ask for a list.

SOB!!: Oh, Vic. We hardly knew ye...

So what happens to LIHIRI? Is it departing with you? Not that it would be the same without you, but I can't possibly say goodbye to BOTH!!!

Vic Sussman: LIHIRI is mine (although the name belongs to washingtonpost.com) as a concept. So we sneak into the cybernetic darkness together.

Baltimore-Washington: Nah, folks -- Vic's no Muggle ... but his spells do involve playing cards...

HI -- Vic cutting out. Doncha know good e-places to work are harder and harder to find? (Regan's in San Antonio, btw)

LI -- the sig others' into Harry Potter, and when' she's done reading 'em, I get to read 'em ...

RI -- Being the guy who first started giving Vic grief about "who's yer daddy" near the start of LIHIRI 11/10!

Good luck, man ... keep in touch

Vic Sussman: So it was the Nefarious Brian who started the "who's your daddy" riff.

I will spend the rest of my life tracking you down...

Washington: Is the reason you are giving us your email address to get more info about your future exploits because WP.com won't let you advertise here? We promise we won't tell anyone!

Vic Sussman: Not at all. I think it's unseemly to use this space, owned by my employer, to promote my new endeavors. I have too much respect for them to do that. This is one thing I'm not kidding about (I know it's hard to tell).

Suitland: This is a day long overdue. This feature is unfocused and pointless and needs gimmicks like ABM to keep afloat. The public contributes 80% of the content and it rambles on TWO WHOLE HOURS most weeks.

Vic Sussman: And you actually stay through the whole TWO HOURS, reading the text of a show you DON'T LIKE?

How will you ever indulge your masochism when I'm gone? Maybe you could go play in downtown traffic? Wearing a blindfold?

Ral NC: No need to post this, but Vic's first 3 URLs don't work (or are overloaded by hits!).

Vic Sussman: I take no responsibility for third-party postings. I take full responsibility if the sites are overloaded by the curious and the morbid.