Thursday, August 3, 2000, 1 pm EDT

Vic Sussman By Reginald Pearman, Jr/ washingtonpost.com

What works?

What doesn't?

What stinks?

What zings?

Welcome to Love It, Hate It, Rate It! An hour or more of reader-generated rooting, ranting and raving about things, events and people--good, bad and indifferent. Whether you're a cynic or Little Mary Sunshine incarnate, this is your chance to ask questions, make rash statements, believe three impossible things before breakfast and tickle your keyboard as you pick at the social fabric.

Tell the world, such as it is, who's great or merely grating. Pin a label on it: Heaven or Hype? What's in, what's out, what's phat or just goes splat?

Your host is Live Online's Executive Producer, Vic Sussman, who emits an unearthly blue light from his forehead when annoyed.

Sussman has a long background in broadcasting and print journalism. The author of three nonfiction books, he was previously the Personal Tech columnist for The Washington Post Magazine, Book World's audio book reviewer, and a senior editor specializing in cyberspace at U.S.News & World Report. Sussman's interests veer wildly from the vagaries of computer-mediated communication to the skeptical subculture, weight lifting, and magic as a performance art. He is not a minion of Satan, but negotiations continue.

You may read past sessions of LIHIRI in Vic's archives.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. Some of the guests don't even understand the questions, need to bathe more often and are one brick shy of a load, but we love them anyway. Additionally, Vic Sussman, hereafter referred to as Da Host, takes no responsibility for anything he says on LIHIRI or for anything he does in his spare time that involves roadkill, taxidermy and fava beans or for believing that we are all billard balls on the random Table of Life or for postings by LIHIRI's strange audience, obviously composed of people who wear collanders on their heads, have tiny radios implanted in their molars and are directed by clandestine messages from Executive Editors based on the Planet Zog.

Below is today's transcript.

Vic Sussman:

AHHHrrrrggghhhh!

Yes, it's true: We have come at last to the end of the LIHIRI road. Today is my last show and tomorrow is my last day working for washingtonpost.com. Thanks to all of you loyal fans and freaks for writing to me at

IronVic@musclemail.com

Please continue dropping me a line at the above e-mail address. I'm compiling a LIHIRI mailing list so I can alert you all when I start a similar Web show elsewhere. Besides, I love hearing from you. I knew you were out there reading, but I had no idea so many of you were so totally cool. Here's an excerpt from one especially thoughtful e-mail. I've excised the writer's name only because I didn't have a chance to ask his permission to post this. (But you know who you are, Andy, so many thanks.)

"What a wonderful job you've done with LOL. It is one of the few
instances I've found of the Internet actually living up to its hype and
potential; and one of the few places on the web where the level of
discussion, from both hosts and participants, is almost always playful,
interesting, and just plain fun. It is the only site I read on a daily
basis. If your replacement is only half as good as you, it will still be
an excellent site: the bar is already high.


LIHIRI is, of course, irreplaceable. I hope they don't try.


Good luck, and I hope I can find your work wherever you land."

Well, shucks, he said, kicking the dust with his boot tip. As for finding my work, I'll soon have a new personal Web site up (my first one went up in 1994, equivalent now to a cave painting) with various stuff and junk posted.

Which reminds me (note the smooth transition between thoughts, the mark of a professional writer), several people have asked about the article I mentioned a while back, the one I wrote about wearing pantyhose for a day. That sounds weird (perish the thought), so note that I wore pantyhose on assignment for The Washington Post. A couple of women editors challenged me to wear the stuff and write about what it felt like. The ol' "Walk a mile in my pantyhose" line.

You can read "Pantyhoseman" when you have a chance. Enjoy. I had a ball writing it. Please don't reprint it or otherwise use it without my permission. Or else I will have to spend an inordinate amount of time tracking you down and making your life miserable.

As for where I'm going after tomorrow, occupationally speaking, I'm joining Cahners Business Information (www.cahners.com) to become their Director of Interactive Web Programming. In time, LIHIRI will appear on that site under a new name. I hope to see you all there.

Alas, one place I won't see you is at any sort of LIHIRI gathering in the so-called Real World. Yes, yes, I know that last week we talked about assembling the troops at a D.C. area bar or restaurant. That's not going to be possible for a variety of reasons. So we'll have to continue enjoying the fact that we know and even like one another based on our words alone.

And now, for the last time at this site (unless some fool thinks he or she can do this gig without me)

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

herndon, va: Oh Great Departing Wise One: I tip the collander on my head and bid you a fond farewell, leaving a final HI for the TOTAL IDIOTS DRIVING THIS DAY AND EVERY DAY ON OUR ROADS AND HIGHWAYS!! MAY THEY ALL ROT IN HELL, WHERE THEY'LL BE CONFINED TO THE UNDER 25MPH LANE BEHIND A BUS WITH A DIESEL EXHAUST WHICH SMELLS LIKE BUFFALO FARTS!!

Have a nice day, Vic, we'll miss you!! (If you don't want to have a nice day, that's ok)

Vic Sussman: Thanks for sharing. It's always great to start the hour off on an intellectual plane.

Upstate NY: Hate it: that you're leaving us.
On the bright side, though, my work productivity will increase dramatically on Wednesday afternoons. Best of luck to you in your new job. You'll be missed.

Vic Sussman: Just for that, I'll consider starting a new show on Wednesday afternoons. You have been warned.

Manassas, VA: Vic,

Just a note from a short-time lurker who has nevertheless immensely enjoyed your Wednesday afternoon free-for-alls. Aside from all the interesting topics and frequent participants, I most appreciated the fact that you were always pleasant, never acerbic or sharp-tongued even when someone was bashing you (unlike some other Post columnists I could name). May success go with you to your new venture.

Vic Sussman:

BwaHAhaHAhahaha!

Govtland,DC: Hate it: How folks waiting for an elevator have to stand practically up against it, as though expecting nobody to come out of it, and then get mad when someone bumps into them.
Love it: The unexpected kindness of strangers when you need help.
Rate it: Living together before getting married: 9-plus!! The dynamics are SOOOOO different than living apart! I often wonder how my boyfriend got groceries before I moved in and started buying them!! I have to remind him about his car maintenance, too...what a gender-role switch!

Vic Sussman: Hmm. Carolyn Hax might disagree with you. Seems that people who live together before marriage have a somewhat higher risk of divorce than those who wait to put their things together. (Um. That didn't sound right, but it's my last show...)

Arlington, VA: Vic, on behalf of myself and a co-worker who can't type to you today, let me say we're going to miss you horribly. Where else can we get abused, praised, and barfed on during these chat sessions? We love this chat time, and often discuss what we will try to send you so we can contribution to the chat. We also have a running tally of the times we've been dissed, and unfortunately, those outweight the hits. Anyway, good luck with your new venture, and know that we'll be checking out your pictures on the recumbent web-site from time to time, and hopefully will catch up with you at the new place so we can all chat again. Sincerely, two fans.

Vic Sussman: Wow. You guys are so nice. What's gotten into you? I'm getting so many posts like this today that I'm thinking of doing nothing but a string of Farewell Shows. Don't divas and rock stars do this sort of thing all the time?

Tee shirts for sale in the cybernetic lobby...

Ho Chi Minh: Erupit? Erupit? IN the immortal words of Mark Trail: "WHAT TH'??!!??"

Geeze, Vic, why not go all the way? Pustularit!!!

Vic Sussman: Yo, Ho. Thanks for reminding me that (for the benefit of Mac users and the mouse-challenged among you) today's Hat Quote is:

Abiit, excessit, evasit, erupit.
He has left, absconded, escaped and disappeared.
(Cicero, In Catilinam)

I thought this was appropriate for the last LIHIRI. But what do I know?

Kefir Girl: Ah Vic,

As this is the final day of LIHIRI I'm feeling the pressure to post something spectacular. Something that will make you laugh, cry, run screaming. . . Hmmm, while I'm pondering what to do I think I'll just go with the traditional:
LI - That we're heading off to upstate NY for vacation tomorrow- one week of moose tracking, hiking, swimming, lounging, and consuming frozen treats from the various ice cream parlors in the area. That my best friend will be moving back to the States in 67 days after one year abroad.

HI - That this is the last day of LIHIRI.

You're a real mensch Vic. Cheers.

Vic Sussman: Hey, KefirGirl, thanks for making the last gig.

Moose tracking? They are pretty easy to track, no? They have hooves the size of dinner plates, leave droppings the size of marbles, and don't exactly tip-toe through the woods. Watch out, KefirGirl: Them mooses don't see very well, often have brain-worms that make them nutso and think nothing of flattening hikers in their path. Take it from a guy who once lived in moose country.

McLean, VA: So why no in-person farewell party? Was that a personal decision, or did the post.com people talk you out of it?

Vic Sussman: Ha. The "post people" (an apt description for some of my colleagues) never had much luck in talking me out of anything. Nah. The logistics just got in the way. Organizing a party when you have no idea who's coming and how it will all turn out is a daunting task. Too much going on right now to even contemplate such a thing. So lift a glass of your favorite beverage to LIHIRI when you have a chance. We'll all feel the vibes.

DC: When I was a mere lad a generation or two ago, that is, the 60s, the women burned their bras, manned the barricades with the men, had sex with whomever, whenever, even wherever they wanted- young women had spunk. Now, from the looks of the younger women around the office, it seems like we have a new generaltion of prim Victorians. They seem to panic at a simple hello exchanged in a hallway or elevator, and in most ways, act like the maiden daughters of the Victorian era. Anyone else see it that way?

Vic Sussman: You trying to start a fight on my last day? Go to it.

Boston, Mass: Promise me Vic, that you will buy the Complete Stax/Volt Singles 1959-68 Box Set.

Soul is very important for the soul, don't you know.

Vic Sussman: I'm with ya. It's on my list. My income is going up, so this is a buy, I promise.

Manassas, VA: Okay, how 'bout this: you were never mean or insulting to your readers other than in obvious jest. Whatever words you may have chosen, it was clear that your intent was never mean-spirited. Like I said, that's more than I can say for some of your colleagues.

Vic Sussman: True. LIHIRI has always been the place for folks who enjoy sarcasm. The only people who complained were those sensitive souls who didn't get it. It's like The Post says, "If you don't get it, you ain't got it." Or something like that...

Michigan: Just thinking that with your car and skull ring you would fit right in at the concert I'll be attending tonight Vic....AC/DC. I shall raise a toast in memory of some fine hours spent reading and typing to this random forum.

The best to you and yours Vic!

Vic Sussman: Thanks. I would attend, but I can't afford a seat for my car.

Annandale, VA: LI: We love you Vi-i-ic, oh yes we do.
We love you Vi-i-ic and we'll be true.
When you're not wi-ith us, we're blue,
Oh Vi-i-ic, we love you!

HI: That with a week's notice, that's the best I could come up with!

RI: That I just discovered this discussion about a month ago and it's ending, negative 99 out of 10!

Vic Sussman: Where is BarfMan when we really need him. (But thanks for the sentiments. A little off-key, but it could be my browser.)

Rockville, MD: Submitting early because of a work conflict (egads)....

LI: The way my GF Jessie giggles; a sweet cantalope just out of the frig after a long run; ditching the TV habit (you really don't miss it); waking up and getting into the office late and no one knows; unexpected $20 in the pants pocket of my suit; kicking butt at a meeting; counting down the days until the next vacation.

HI: Women who complain about not being able to find "Mr. Right" when they define him in narrow terms ($, height, weight, looks, race, car, etc); the near-term chances for success for the Wizards; the way college kids -- wearing wrinkled Old Navy clothes bought at some upscale suburban mall -- think that they're bohemian for hanging at a coffee house (upscale Starbucks).

RI: 10 of 10. My experiences on this board; being more particular about who I let into my life; fantasies about Isabella Rosallini; completing home improvement projects; dim sum on Sunday morning.

Vic, it's been real. Here's hoping that your future is always brighter than your past.

Change is inevitable, growth is optional.

Godspeed, pal.

Vic Sussman: Whoa. Dim sum and Isabella. I'm getting so excited I'm going to have to breathe into a paper bag.

Boston: Aww, Vic, we hardly knew ya,

Will miss you terribly. Will miss this chat more.

So anyway, what's up with all the tv coverage of this big corporation convention in Philadelphia? Heard most people can't even get near most of the parties. Sounds yucky.

You been following the prezzy race at all? Any clue if there's a Democrat running for the job? Has Big Al disappeared because he decided only an idiot would want the job (and most idiots wouldn't) & he certainly doesn't want it & dropped out? No word from the guy.

Then again, if he IS running, when's he going to start doing it? Somebody might have bought W a baseball team once, but it seems he's no better than slo-pitch. Will somebody stand up and spank one of the meatballs he keeps serving up? Do we have to let this nitwit into the White House? Ok, maybe on a tour, but as a PAID EMPLOYEE?

Where's the protozoa puker when you need him?

Vic Sussman: Right. BarfMan for President!

WDC 20009 again: So where is Barfman? Could we yank him out for ol' times sake?

washingtonpost.com:

Vic Sussman: Jen Kwan lives to serve mankind.

Bud and Otto, California: This is intense, Vic.

LIHIRI is always intense, Otto.

Vic Sussman: Yo, Otto. Watch out for those Ordinary People. They'll getcha every time.

Bethesda, MD: Hey, Vic, so long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, good bye!

Best wishes, buddy. I only wish you had managed to get Lisa de Moraes on here. It would have been so fun -- I love her columns because they provide just the right amount of sarcasm and humor and seriousness.

So what happens now to Live Online? Is it going away, or will it continue under new management?

Speaking of "under new management," do you know what happens to people who sleep their way to the top when a company is bought?

Vic Sussman: I tried several times to entice Lisa to enter cyberspace, but we had trouble setting it all up. I agree. She has a great "voice" for this medium. As for the future of LOL, that's up to washingtonpost.com. Note, however, that the LOL listing has fallen (slid?) way, way down the home page, settling near the bottom left side. Is this an omen? Write to webnews@washingtonpost.com and ask 'em.

Mt. Rainier: I guess some of the young women of the 60's passed on their learning to their daughters: The guy might be willing to man barricades and still be an unreconstructed jerk who expects you to wash his underwear and coo at him.

Vic Sussman: And the toughest women of the 60s burned their bras while wearing them.

McPherson Square: LI: I recently discovered LIHIRI.

HI: You're leaving LIHIRI.

RI: -google/10

Thanks for brightening up this cubicle dweller's Wednesdays (except when its Thursday.)

Good luck in your next venture! You'll be sorely missed.

Fondly,
McPherson Square

Vic Sussman: Thanks, Mac. But I'll be baaaaaaaack in a new incarnation before you know it. I have plans for a new show with a new name. In fact, I can't wait to launch. More news when I have to readers who write to me at IronVic@musclemail.com

McLean, VA: OK Vic, e-ttiquette question. I got rejected via email by a potential employer. I wrote a three-page writing sample at their request, and after the interview I sent a hand-written thank you note. I feel that their kiss-off email was cowardly--a phone call or real letter would have been nice, just to acknowledge my efforts.

Do you agree, or should I dry my tears and get used to the new e-conomy? BTW, it wasn't a .com-type company.

Vic Sussman: I agree and suggest you dry your tears. Since when do we really expect courtesy from would-be employers? And would you really have felt any better had your rejection letter been written on white paper, in blue ink, ala Miss Manners? Maybe. But e-mail rules, so get used to it. At least they gave you an answer. I've been in situations where I had to call an employer to find out what the hell was going on.

District of Chaos: So Vic, are you taking any vacation time off before your new job? Any exciting ventures - like the rolling hills of North Maryland that you can cruise your noisy as all get-out Trans Am around?

Vic, I'm sure I'm not the only one to say this, but the small sliver of light that makes Thursdays bearable (well that and "Who's Line..." but I digress) is about to be doused. Is there a pinch hitter for you on LIHIRI or is this it? If so that'll be a huge mammoth HATE IT!!!!!

Vic Sussman: Vacation. Vacation? That word has a familiar ring, but I just can't place the meaning. Oh. Wait. Like, time off? I don't think so. Looks like I'm going to segue right into the new gig. I'm looking forward to the weekend, however.

As for a replacement for me on LIHIRI, great idea. I think you should write to the Executive Editor and ask him to fill the slot.

WDC: Vic -

Big HI---

I agree...I was child of the 70s, everybody loved one and loved them back. The young women of today definitley got their prude dresses on all the time.

Will miss you made madly. Good luck!

Vic Sussman: I don't get it. If a woman chooses not to have sex with just anyone she's a prude? I thought she was just particular. And cautious.

Justlanded: What is a vic sussman?

Vic Sussman: I don't know. But if you hum a few bars I may be able to pick it up.

Virginia Beach: LI: Big western driving vacation in 16 days; my kids' faces when I come home; my wife's smile; fresh fruit in the summer.

HI: Cat barf on my carpet; DC-area drivers.

RI: Amoeba Barf Man 10/10; Hokies football 20/10; DC area sports wasteland 0/10.

Vic Sussman: So you're equating DC area drivers with cat barf? Interesting juxtaposition. Alert Dr. Gridlock.

15th & L (across from washpost hq): Vic, I've never submitted anything for your discussions, but since you are leaving I must tell you how often I have read LIHIRI. Other than Hax, this is the only discussion I frequent... and am glad I happened upon LIHIRI when I did so I could catch the greatest Live Online Producer!

Thanks for all the laughs!

Vic Sussman: It's been my pleasure, believe me. I couldn't have done any of this without the world's greatest audience. Please follow me when I leave...

Ho Chi Minh: Given that you will re-materialize in a different plane of Cyberspace, good-bye does not seem appropriate. Instead, I defer to the immortal words of Dale Evans:

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.

Vic Sussman: Ho, baby, was it Dale who said that or Roy? You want me to lose sleep over this?

suburban hell: First, I have to express my sadness that you will no longer be a part of
live online. I'm hoping that, in your absence, the whole thing doesn't go
to hell in a handbasket. You've created some wonderful forums here, not
the least of which is LIHIRI. But I know you'll be wildly successful in
your new venture, and I look forward to following your success.

Now, my big HI for the week: homeowners associations and the nosy, uptight people who love them. I had a run-in the other day with some old biddy who actually yelled over her shoulder at my retreating back because she (mistakenly) thought that I had neglected to clean up my dog's poo. I had already rounded the corner when I heard her reproachful, "It's THEIR mess!" I can only surmise that she was addressing her dog, as there was no one else around. I was so angry that I quickly turned back around the corner to confront her, but then had a reality check - who's crazier, the nasty, dried-up sow who yells at strangers about dog poo, or the person who chases the dried-up sow down the street? But that's the mentality in these neighborhoods - dog poo is the Great Evil. We love to make brochures featuring happy families galloping around with their picture-perfect pets so that we can sell and build MORE houses, but God forbid we ever see the natural evidence of said pets, or let some poor shmuck build a child's swingset in his own damn yard without the approval of some commitee. It's ridiculous. I will never live in a community like this again.

Vic Sussman: See? This is the kind of posting that has distinguished LIHIRI and made us the envy of other Web sites. Dog poo and moral outrage. You read it here first.

Somewhere in Virginia???: Vic, It has been a pleasure lurking during your discussions and enjoying your inventive and interesting (raised eyebrow aka Mr. Spock!) responses. I would like to know something which I do not believe you have been asked or answered - do you have a political affiliation and if so what is it? If not, do you have a preference as to Presidential canidate?
I am positive you will be missed and even if they keep this forum open, it will not be the same without you!

Vic Sussman: My political affiliation: Card-carrying member of the Apathy Party. My choice for President wavers between Dilbert and Zippy the Pinhead. Yes, I realize they are comic strip characters, but so are the leading candidates. Let's just say I am scanning the skies for The Mother Ship. Now is the time for them to bring me home...

The Blaguard: So what now happens to Amoeba Barf Man? Does he move on with you, or does he stay with washingtonpost.com to avoid an intellectual property lawsuit? Maybe some of the other discussions could use him (though I would avoid allowing Carolyn Hax or Tony/Mike to get their hands on him).

Vic Sussman: Interesting legal question. I think Amoeba BarfMan is the intellectual property of wp.com. I hope they will be very happy together.

Cap Hill: Love it -

That Ken Burns is going to give his amazing cinematic treatment to the history of jazz in a series scheduled to be released in January. I'm sure it will be pretty fab.

Hate it -

That you're going. C'est la vie, I guess, but we sure enjoyed having you around.

Calm waters and smooth sailing, Vic.

Vic Sussman: I have this funny feeling that Ken Burns doing a thing on jazz is going to be a snooze. He was great with baseball, but jazz, well. We'll see.

Georgetown: Glad you're going to be on one last time. When I didn't see your discussion posted yesterday, I thought possible the POTB axed you ahead of schedule.

I'll miss you and all the crazies out there!

Vic Sussman: Don't go 'way. The Powers That Be might axe me at any given moment. Fortunately, some of them don't know how to navigate the Web all that well, so maybe they won't find me until it's too late.

dc: I will miss these online CHATS (I know you hate it when they are called that -- just needling you). Good luck.

washingtonpost.com:

Vic Sussman: You're just a big barf fan, admit it.

Silver Spring, Maryland: -sniffle-

-sob-

Farewell, Vic....this is my first time posting, but I was a faithful reader of this discussion every week. I'll miss you.

Vic Sussman: "Tears in my Keyboard." Ain't that a country song?

indian head/mango woman: Vic, I wanted to make an appearance today, for your last show. But I'm too busy crying to say anything poetic and insightful. I'm in a major state of denial, and I've decided to show up in this space next Wednesday cuz I'm CONVINCED YOUR KIDDING!

My final LI: All the friggin' idiots who write in to kvetch and end up being LIHIRI fodder! Take THAT, you pestulant cankers (courtesy of the Shakespearean insult list)

We love you, Vic. Thank you, thanks to your producers, and thanks to all you other misbegotten toads out there. I love you madly.

Vic Sussman: Thanks, Mango Woman. But no, I really won't be in this space next week. I'm outta here tomorrow. But thanks for thinking I was scamming you. Now I know you really love me.

Burke, VA: Vic--to Suburban Hell who thinks dog poo is no big deal. Ever run through a few fresh steaming piles of it with your lawn mower? You'd understand. There--I elevated the quality of the discussion yet again.

Vic Sussman: Buffalo farts and dog poo. And they say Web journalism will never attract an audience.

Lex, KY: Napster: How does mp3s differ from taping music off the radio or using a 2-tape deck to dub copies? When is the music industry going to stop pricing CDs like they're an emerging technology?

Robert Downey: Yes he had several chances to stay out of jail, but I think part of the problem with the drug war is our failing to realize the power of addiction with smack or crack. Government sponsored treatment centers instead of jails?

Take care Vic!

Vic Sussman: Ah, but when you dub copies with tape, each generation degrades in quality. Digital means that every copy is pristine. And tech like Napster means that everyone becomes a producer and distributor.

Is this bad? Whatever. It's the future, and the big bad recording companies (who have been overcharging us for years) better get used to it.

Memphis, TN: Thanks Vic for this discussion and all the others you have helped develop. Hope the Post realizes the value of the community that has developed here and supports it as you have. Best of luck with the new job and will keep my monitor on for you.

Vic Sussman: Thanks so much. It's been an interesting and productive two years at washingtonpost.com. My thanks go especially to the two executives (who have moved on) who initially gave me the creative freedom to build Live Online from just an idea. All thanks, however, go to my staff. They made LOL fun, insanely great and made me happy to come to work every day.

And yes, it's true that three of the four LOL producers have also resigned to move on to other projects and opportunities.

To the 70's Child --: Hmm, let's see, women my age (29) grew up with the threat of HIV/AIDS, newer and more virulent STDs, increased rates of sexual abuse including date rape, proliferation of drugs like rufees, and so on. Is it any wonder women in my generation are more sexually conservative??

Here's 25 cents for Clue Bus fare, Flower Child. Things aren't the way they used to be.

Vic Sussman: Right on. (Or was it "right arm"?) I don't think sexual conservatism and caution makes a person a prude. Two different animals, no?

Kensington MD: Dear Vic,
Live Online has been our own vintage Crackerjack box and LIHIRI is the little toy we couldn't wait to open. Remember in the Fifties - the toy was usually substancial and colorful and fun! Nowadays the box looks the same but the little prize is a flat, cheap sticker. NO decoder rings, cowboys or whistles. You gave us the real treat - your voice - pushed down there at the bottom of the box amidst the popped corn, caramel and NUTS.

A little quote for you today -

" Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish.

Ovid (1st Century B.C.)

LOVE IT - That my husband of 12 years - citizen of Mars and the Ether - is quietly finding a way back to my heart.

HATE IT - the postponement of joy.

RATE IT - divided marriages - Minus 1,000. - Tango lessons, nakedness, summer peaches and hopefulness - Plus 1,000

Cheers to you for a splendid run! - we will meet again in the next incarnation.

Vic Sussman: Well, maybe it's the prospect of those naked tango lessons that intrigues your husband. But what do I know? I'm just your basic Crackerjacks toy in the bottom of the spiritual box.

Alex: OOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY VVVEEEYYYYYYYYYY

You are leaving us, Vic, and we shall be sad on those Wednesdays that shall now be hollow, hollow without your bizarrity.

I can't imagine LOL would disappear, though. It seems awfully popular.

LI: Sex, Books, newpapers, NPR (everyone must tune into both This American Life Sundays at 6 on WAMU. It truly fits this group. Also Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, Sunday at noon on WAMU. Also fits this audience), cooking, and the USA.

HI: rude people, people who don't understand that they are not #1, people who miss the beauty of love, sex, food, and life because they are too busy equating happiness with owning the biggest SUV.

RI: Vic, the Muscle Man, Sussman: 1000000000000000000 out of 10. Enjoy your new higher income!!!!! (but save some, too, you might want to buy some blues CDs when you are 90)

Vic Sussman: Bizzarity. I love it. Thanks.

Lincoln NE: LI: Some friends just got new recumbent bikes-I got to try one out, and am HOOKED! Vic, I'll be emailing you to get info on your make-n-model, and if you have any suggestions for purchase. I'm not sure how I've been biking without a 'bent for so long.

HI: Agreed on nosy neighborhood associations. I live in an area like that, too. Got some hate mail because some bricks were delivered to my driveway so I could put in a patio. You'd think they don't want anyone to do anything that would-gasp!-improve the value of their property!

Even Bigger HI: LOL losing Vic. How else will I manage to fake work on wednesday?

Vic Sussman: Yeah, get bent. The only way to ride. My bike is a Gold Rush Replica. But in the interests of journalistic truth and honor, I have to admit that I haven't ridden in many months. I spend much more time at the gym and in the woods (doing hill-climbing cardio) and my bike-riding has slipped. I still love the bike, though, and will eventually get back on the road. For more info on recumbent bikes, check out recumbents.com (note that this is plural).

WDC: As a cautious young woman... cut us some slack, huh? We have been hit over the head with warnings on STDs, rape, muggers, and everything else bad that will happen to us soon as we step out of the house. I try to shake it off and open myself to more risk in an effort to live a little, but sometimes, I just gotta be less polite and more in tune with my safety. Besides, I'm betting the guy complaining about this is overly aggressive, and women are shying away from that.

Will miss ya, Vic, just had to get that out...

Vic Sussman: You're right and I agree. Be cool.

Arlington, VA: On the Napster thing, while I do agree that the record companies need to get on board (they could make a lot of dough by charging a small amount to download one song, etc.), it doesn't give the rest of the country the right to break copyright laws. Dubbing tapes/CDs is one thing--people make mixes of music they already own, etc. This is outright theft. Anyone who writes anything for a living, whether it's music or newspaper articles understands this concept.

Vic Sussman: Hey, I have all kinds of stuff protected by copyright, but I also recognize that we're in a new age. We're going to have to re-write the rules in a digital age. How this will all shake out is unclear, to say the least, but nothing is ever going to be the same again as tech advances. One thing we know for certain, however, is that the courts and legislators are going to get it all wrong in the beginning. Which is what they are doing now. Read the history of communication technology and you'll see what I mean. We've been through this sort of tech-angst before with the telephone, movies, the VCR, etc.

Olney, MD (Max): Hey, McLean, be glad that company turned you down. You might have been stuck working with a bunch of passive-aggressive, rumor-mongering gossips, and I believe that's Dante's 4th level of hell.

LI: That there are people out there who, love it or hate it, are willing to follow a discussion for over an hour on eclectic movies, music, and people.

HI: That my boss may wonder why I'm suddenly so productive next Wed. afternoon.

RI: A week's cruise to Alaska (yes, and back, smarta$$), 10/10

Till we meet again...

Vic Sussman: As Sartre said, "Hell is other people."

Fairfax, VA: Ahem. Speaking as one of those young women of "Generation Prude," I'd like to tell all those 60's throwbacks to get over themselves. They are all convinced that everything was better in the 60's and that the sun shone out of their asses. No, women as well as men of the younger generation do not pork everything in sight just to prove that they are anti-establishment. And maybe feminism isn't on the front pages anymore because it's a matter of course, not news, that women deserve to be treated equally. Things aren't perfect, and they probably never will be, but I think that this generation "gets it." We don't see things in black and white, and we attempt to fix the things that are wrong rather than whining about them and putting the blame on someone else.

God! I hate boomers!

Vic Sussman: Hmm. We seem to have sparked a bit of conversation in the waning hours of LIHIRI. It's getting warm in here...

Annandale, VA: OK I am going to drown you in LIHIRIs today, got to get it all in!

LI: my boss two layers up (a male) saying "you go girl!" and supporting me and my program to one of his colleagues. Wow that feels great, even a month later!

HI: having to explain what the heck my job is because my title is so non-descriptive.

RI:Knowing your boss respects you, supports you and thinks you're doing a great job: invaluable (that priceless thing is so overdone!)

Vic, it just won't be the same without you here! By the way, I remember reading the Pantyhoseman article when it was published, it was memorable enough that I didn't need much reminder of it!

Vic Sussman: Huh. You think it's hard to explain what you do because your job title is off-beat? Try explaining "Director of Interactive Web Programming." Especially try explaining this to a non-Webby person. There are such beings, yes.

I'm just wild about Harry, NC (in Cleveland today): LI: vacation in my hometown; it's 1:45pm and I'm still in my PJs; hanging out at my parents' home for a week, seeing friends and family.

HI: yesterday my dad and I went for our yearly trip to our favorite mini golf course, which we've been going to for 23 years (since I was THREE) only to find that it was closed and the greens had gone to pot. Apparently it was sold in the name of progress! I felt like the last bit of my childhood was yanked away from me.

RI: LIHIRI and its readers: 10+. I can't wait until we all meet again in your new chat. Love ya, Vic!

washingtonpost.com: Be careful....

Vic Sussman: Barf Man is always on the alert.

Rosslyn VA: LI: Vic. Wherever you go we will follow.
HI: Your leaving LIHIRI. No one can compare.
RI: Vic 10+

Vic Sussman: Stop it. I'm blushing in cyberspace.

tysons, va: young women of today have no spunk? sure i didn't grow up in the 70s, but i am a young lady now. we got spunk! maybe these people are just too out of touch with the younger generation to see that side of them...what can you tell by behavior at work, anyway? you want us to burn our bras at work? vic, will miss you tons- good luck to you!

Vic Sussman: I have a 24-year-old daughter. She defines the word "spunk," as in tough-minded, energetic, opinionated and sharp-tongued (where she gets that trait from I don't know). So it's nonsense to say women of today are somehow less than women of 30 years ago. How silly.

EraserheadGuy, DC: Vic, it’s been fun, sorry to see you go, hope your new job is one where you can still be your inimitablE self, don’t forget the little people who knew you way back when—hey, in the Internet age, six months ago is “way back when.” If you’re still going to be in the DC area, I hope you can attend the gala screening of “Eraserhead” that Queen Rita’s forum is planning at a bar on Capitol Hill. And when you are ensconced in your new position, if you need some flunkies to kick around, you know where to find me.

Vic Sussman: Wow. It's EGuy. What would I have done without you, man? You really define, in your inimitable way, the magic of computer-mediated communication. We don't know what you look like, how old you are, how you comb your hair...but we KNOW you when you're here.

It's been fun, EGuy. Meet me in the new place...

The dwarf: Love it: Vic riding the Metro! (in pantyhoseman) and not his hot rod.

Hate it: This sodden weather. I haven't hardly been able to bike to work in weeks (not in the rain, thank you).

Rate it: Friends in Maine that let me visit them at the ocean: 37

Oh yeah, good luck, Vic.

Vic Sussman: The coolest summer in the Washington area since 1918 and you hate it. Go figure.

Wash DC: I'm a 40's Boomer, and just to set the record straight, not everyone "porked" everything in sight. Some of us, and just about everyone I knew was NOT promiscuous. This old fart is just flattering himself. Or maybe having an acid flashback and imagining that he got a lot back then. He's probably waiting for his Viagra script to come from the mail order drug house.

Vic Sussman: Everybody is getting restless...

wdc: Vic: Love you madly...

Vic Sussman: The feeling is mutual.

born and raised in DC but now in Boston: Vic--I'll miss spending my Wednesday afternoons with you. I finally figured out the secret for reading LIHIRI without getting fired--wait until about 3:00 or so, print out the whole transcript when the discussion is over, and read it at your leisure--on the subway, before bed, at the beach--anytime except please not while you are driving. I can't spare the 2 hours on a Wednesday afternoon, but reading what everyone else had to say makes my week. Thanks for giving me a good excuse for keeping up with the world's greatest newspaper as I adjust to life in what the locals like call the Hub of the Universe. So why doesn't IT have the world's greatest newspaper? They don't even try to pretend that they do.
Can't let you go without one LIHIRI--
LI--Live Online--no other newspaper website comes close!
HI--The Washington Post is not available in the Boston Public Library or any other library in Boston
RI--LIHIRI is ending:-10

PS--Philosophical question, now that you are leaving--aren't LI and HI 2 ways of rating something? In other words, if you already love or hate something, haven't you by definition already rated it? I would rate Live Online a 10, and that the Post isn't in the Boston libraries a 0. Is this a circular argument? Just wondering.

Vic Sussman: Okay, you're being picky. The Rate It part was added to give readers a chance to add a numerical rating to whatever. Besides, calling the show Love It, Hate It seemed incomplete. I can't tell you the name of the soon-to-be-reincarnated LIHIRI, but it will be vastly different. And strange. (But you knew that, right?)

mangowoman: ACK! To rid myself of cantankerous loonies who swoon and faint when they see a dog (shhh, whisper here) POOP, I moved far, far away to a home in the middle of the woods. Having been a meticulous pooper picker upper, I can testify that most of these people are idiots. If you move into an apt./condo that accepts dogs, there will be dogs. Get over it. Most of us go out of our way to clean up after our pets. So spare us your righteous indignation about leash laws and unsanitary animals. Dogs gotta exercise, and they gotta poop. That's life. So do you, but you don't see us leashing you! (but that would be friggin' awesome.)

Vic Sussman: Notice, gentle readers, that LIHIRI today is swaying between bra burning, dog poop, 60s memories, sex and tango lessons. The place continues to amaze me.

Annandale, VA: OK, one more...have you ever read the book, The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov? FABULOUS! Very odd, full of black magic and the devil and satire and cuts at 1920's Soviet life. You'd love it!

Vic Sussman: No, but thanks for the suggestion. I'll bet somebody here has read it.

CLINTON MD.: Vic, I step into the elevator of a large office building in D.C. where I work and a lone woman is inside. The woman shrinks in the farthest corner, clutches her purse tightly and trembles. I am dressed in shirt and tie and I don't think I look threatning. I stare at the control panel and don't dare say good morning and breath a sigh of relief when I get off the elevator. This scene has happened to me several times and I understand their fear, still it is depressing.

Vic Sussman: It's the modern form of Elevator Yoga.

Annandale, VA: Hmmm, Vic, you got me caught, I can't argue with you about my title because if I tell you what it is my whole company (although nobody else!) will know that I'm goofing off! Suffice it to say that it includes an acronym for the program I run, but nobody understands what the acronym is/means so even my family ask me, "so what is your job? what does that mean?" At least -most- people have heard the terms in your title! And I don't even get "director"!

P.S. I have to admit that the first few times I read this so-called discussion, I couldn't help but think "hi" when I saw "HI" even though I -knew- it wasn't! And when are the rest of us going to get ITALICS here!

Vic Sussman: I'm taking the italics with me in my gym bag. They don't belong to The Post.

herndon, va: Vic: Ref pantyhose - I (a man)once wore a pair for a day, too. To keep a very long story semi-short - my wife and I were going camping, riding up to the site in the high Cascades, with a wrangler and pack horses, camping in semi-luxury (a big, heavy tent and steaks with champagne every night, with day hikes thrown in). The wrangler would return with the horses a few days later, and we'd pack up and ride out. A saleslady in the western gear shop in the little Oregon town where we started told me for a long ride by a tenderfoot (and tender thigh), I should wear pantyhose, as her husband used it for long trips to stop chafing. Well, it does stop the chafing, but GOD DO YOUR LEGS GET HOT!!!
I trust you found it the same. We also got to ride through a forest fire - but that's another story! Good by (again) steve

Vic Sussman: Riding through a forest fire while wearing pantyhose is not my idea of a fun vacation. But that's just me.

Arlington, VA: LI: When I first told my mom I was a 'webmaster' she said, without missing a beat, "Does that have something to do with spiders" She also once said, to a tech person on the phone who asked her how many gigs she had, "The only gig I know about has something to do with frogs".
HI: People who refuse to admit that they've done something wrong, no matter how small.
RI: You (and your producers) leaving and the probable decline of LiveONLine...-%

Thanks for breaking new ground - pioneers are always welcome.

Vic Sussman: Actually, your mom was right: Being a Webmaster does have something to do with spiders. And bots. But maybe that's too obscure for momma.

Bethesda, MD: Here's a hate it for you: political conventions. It's the same old, um, stuff, just change the name. It's like, our party's candidate is going to be the best President ever, better than George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, FDR and Thomas Jefferson combined. And he's the best man to walk the earth since Jesus Christ himself.

Oh, and our opponent? He is the embodiment of evil. Why, he's worse than Hitler, Stalin, and Castro put together. He may ever have a 666 tattooed on his forehead!

Why the hell put these pep rallies on the air? Who the hell cares? It's all a crock!

Give them a minus ten million. They blow.

Vic Sussman: I'm new on this planet myself.

Falls Church, VA: Vic,

I am sooooo going to miss these discussions. I have been following you on LOL since you would take over from Bob on his free for all show. This Discussion has been a highlight of many a midweek and i'm going to miss you.

LI- That my cast finally got sawed off today.

HI - That he put a small soft cast on it instead. I still have to shower witha garbage bag taped to my foot and still have to walk using crutches.

More HI - The airline industry's inconsistant service for people with disabilities. Luckily I founds that as a whole, we humans do look out for each other and other people really did help me out.

Man, I'm going to miss this show.

Vic Sussman: Showering with a Garbage Bag Taped to My Foot is a great name for a band.

EraserheadGuy, DC: BTW, Vic, did some bean counter get his/her nose out of joint with my question
last week about post.com's financial performance? You posted my query during
last week's show, but I noticed that it was deleted en route to the Archives.
My amusement rating: 10+.

Vic Sussman: Hmm. I have no idea. As I recall, I didn't even answer the question in detail. If it's truly gone, you should write to the Executive Editor at webnews@washingtonpost.com Ask him what's going on...

Stafford, VA: I read Master and Margarita as required reading in college. Everyone else hated it, but I loved its wild imagery and the plot that was on earth one second and in hell the very next.

Vic Sussman: I knew someone here had read that book. What a crowd!

McLean, VA: Re: men in pantyhose

My old USMC instructor was a Drill Instructor at Parris Island, and he shared some interesting tips the Marines use.

-Pantyhose on long hikes prevent blisters.
-The Marine Corps Silent Drill Team puts sanitary napkins under their uniform jackets at the armpit. That way they can snap their swords up without hurting themselves.

I never verified the second item with a Silent Drill Team member, but it's a good story regardless--who cares whether or not it's true.

Vic Sussman: At the rate we are going today, dear readers, this show might just give Hints from Heloise a run for her money. I don't know how many of you out there own swords, but this is some pretty cool info.

DuPont: Bye Vic! You'll be missed!

LI: This cool, rainy weather. Even though this doesn't feel like summer, it's more pleasant than suffocating in a wet blanket of heat and humidity.

LI2: Reading the Harry Potter books. They've certainly given my imagination a much needed boost!

HI: Today being the last day of the chat.

RI: Vic: 100 out of 10 for humor and wit!

washingtonpost.com:

Vic Sussman: Barf Man is going to miss you too.

Alexandria VA: Miss you already...
but one thing interests me... couple of comments about the meaning of dropping LOL way down on the left hand menu. Frankly I had never noticed it there anyway... I have always used the tab at the top of the home page where Live Online has pride of place... dead center. Only place I've ever gone to get to you.
Thanks for the email address and new URL...like you always say...we know where you are (and what car you drive, white!! who would have thought)

Vic Sussman: Gosh! I finally met someone who used the LOL tab at the top of the screen. Amazing.

Alex, VA: Vic -

While I was originally a little disappointed that a LIHIRI happy hour isn't going to happen, now that I've thought about it, I think it's best to leave my fellow travelers up to my imagination. I wish you the best of luck in your new job.

LI: My two new kitties, cool sunny summer days in DC, a dish of homemade macaroni and cheese, spending my lunch hours on LOL

HI: Cleaning the litter box, cool rainy summer days in DC, people who complain about how rude people are in DC

RI: 0/10: The nastiness of Dick Cheney's speech last night; 100/10: Iron Vic and Ameba Barf Man!

Vic Sussman: Well, at least we have graduated from dog poo to kitty litter boxes. The show's quality is climbing in its waning moments.

As for the non-meeting, I think you're right. The great thing about this form of communication is, to paraphrase Martin Luther King, we are judged by the content of our character and words, not our physical appearance.

Of course, a lot of you have made cracks about MY appearance. My age (whatever you think that is) seems to bother some of you, which I've never been able to figure out. I mean, what is it you think I can't do? And since everybody is going to be older or younger than somebody else, aging itself seems a strange thing to center on.

Oh well, it's another one of those LIHIRI mysteries I'll have to wrestle with.

Glover Park: WAIT A MINUTE!!!! I've been lurking around this, er, show for months, and I always thought it was pronounced High-Lie-REE. Sort of mystical/oriental/kung fu like. NOW someone says that "HI" isn't "high"?

Catch you at the next gig, Vic.

PS: Please leave Marty here.

Vic Sussman: It's pronounced "lee-hee-ree-hee," the bird call of the existentially bereft.

Bethesda Md: ALRIGHT!! - enough of the touchy, feely stuff. Give Vic a break from the grief for a moment. His keyboard is obviously awash in teardrops and he's that kind of sensative New Age Guy that he needs a little space to pull himself together.

SO - it seems like just the right time to bring up an important new RAGE -

AUTOMATIC TOILET BOWL FLUSHING RAGE -

Have any of you been to a public restroom, quietly responding to the needs of nature - when......BEFORE you have even stood up - the toilet starts flushing all by itself?!.....All I keep picturing in my head when this happens is the wonderful late Gilda Radnor in her Rosanna Rosanna Danna mode and the colorful, inspiring treatise she would have to say about this modern "convenience"........"What's in that water? Who was here before me? How'd it know how to do that? ......Didja ever wonder what toilet water felt like being sprayed all over your lower half ?"

Ok, that's it. It really is quite awful, or does anyone know what I'm talking about.? Help me out here.

Vic Sussman: Even worse is when you walk up to one of those auto-on faucets in a restroom and you put your mitts under the tap and nothing happens. It's because you're wearing black, which I wear a lot, and so the infra-red eye or whatever the hell it is can't "see" you.

You're invisible and you can't wash your hands. Is that a metaphor for our times or what?

D.C.: Vic, there is one thing I have to ask you before you disappear for a while: Are you cat people or dog people?

Vic Sussman: Neither, at the moment. I've had cats and dogs and all the requisite poo and litter, and I'm happy to say that I'm now pet-free at last. I like not having veterinary bills, stuff to clean up, or animals in my care. I like walking out of the house knowing that only the houseplants may die in my wake.

Arlington, VA: Wait a minute. lee-hee-ree-hee? What's the last hee?

Vic Sussman: It's silent. Like the H in swimming.

Alex: YOUR AGE? what dorks made comments about that? I'm madly in love with my 25 years older than me sig other who is teaching ME how to run for a marathon!!!!!!!

Vic Sussman: A lot of dorks made a lot of comments. I think they are just threatened. I have that effect on some people.

Princeton, NJ: Someday I'm going to write a book about 101 uses for pantyhose, tampons and sanitary napkins. It's just fair to share this with the rest of the world.

Vic Sussman: Heloise, I told you to stop meeting me here like this.

supergirl: Just submitted something but wanted to chime in, again...I just got my copy of the Propeller Heads CD and popped into the CD changer this morning. Only had a chance to listen to the first few tracks but loved it...freaky and energetic!

Oh, I also have read "The Master and Margarita," but sadly, have forgotten a lot of it. Now I'll have to find my copy and re-read it!

LIHIRI - Washington's online cultural center.

Vic Sussman: If you liked the 'heads, try something by Soul Slinger DJ. Another of my favorites...

Angry Young Librarian: First, re "prudish" young women-- I think we found out that, bra-burning and barricades notwithstanding, we were not accepted as equals by men once the shouting was all over. Women have to behave far more seriously than men do in order to be taken seriously at work. Leaping around in flaming bras doesn't cut it!

That said, if they're fleeing down the hall at a greeting, either they're weird or this guy's exaggerating.

LI- That I got appreciated for work I did in the past couple days. It's so rare, when it happens I just want to cry.

Also LI- My four-day weekend coming up.

Also also LI- Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

HI- A lack of interesting things to eat around the office. If I see another sandwich I'll scream.

RI- Vic's leaving: 5/10 (hey, he's promised to come back!)

Vic, at your departure I feel the way I did when Comedy Central canceled MST3k-- angry at the boneheads who obviously didn't appreciate it, but comforted by knowing it would reappear soon. (and it did, for three years, then was axed again. don't ask how I felt then.)

Good luck, Vic!

Vic Sussman: What can I say? So many boneheads, so little time.

EraserheadGuy, DC: Vic, it’s been fun, sorry to see you go, wish you luck in you new position, hope it’s a place where you can be still be your inimitablE self. Don’t forget the little people who knew you way back when—hey, in the Internet age, six months ago is “way back when.” When you are ensconced at your new position, if you need some flunkies to kick around, you know where to find me. Are you staying in the area? If so, please try to attend the gala screening of “Eraserhead” at a Capitol Hill bar that is being planned by Queen Rita’s forum.

Vic Sussman: I will try to make the screening. It's the only way I'm every going to see this movie. Hey, EGuy, what if we, like you, don't think this flick is the greatest ever made. Do we get to throw popcorn at you on our way up the aisle?

Rockville: I can't believe this is the end....

good luck to ya Vic!!!

Vic Sussman: It's not the end. It's the beginning of the end of something new.

Hmmmmmmm: "Sun shining out of their asses"! What a mental picture. Also, a way to save on electricity...

Vic Sussman: At least there's no nuclear waste to tidy up.

Arlington, VA: Vic, to the suburban hell-dweller -- find a neighborhodd without a homeowners' association -- they're a crock and they're an impingement on freedom. They're stifling, out-of-control, and perfect for people who have no imagination and can't think for themselves. If I'm going to spend $200K + for a house, I should be responsible enough to take care of it and not have some committee telling what I can and can't do with my house. I see HOAs as a way out for people who don't want to take responsibility or who are too wimpy to talk to their neighbors about problems. In my neighborhood, we KNOW our neighbors and if there's a problem with a tree or a fence, we handle it amongst ourselves without bringing in a bunch of over-bearing idiots who have nothing better to do than go around and check out the condition of your siding. Pant, pant. As maybe you can tell, I've had run-ins with these groups before. But, never again. Thanks for the chance to rant.

Vic Sussman: That's why we are here.

CLINTON MD.: Happy Trails was the song Dale and Roy sang at the end of the show. It was produced on a bright yellow 45-record and is worth thousands today if you can find one.

Vic Sussman: eBay, where is thy sting?

Reston, VA: HI: With your leaving, the person I feel sorry for most is Queen Rita, who will no longer be able to swoon over Iron Vic as he passes through the office. Poor Rita. Poor poor Rita.

Vic Sussman: Queen Rita was pulling your chain. Our respective offices are actually five miles apart. Of course, she may have been referring to the time I was fooling around with astral projection and managed to materialize in The Post newsroom. But that incident has been wildly over-reported.

Rockville: I have to ad to Bethesda's Auto Toilet Bowl Flushing Rage -- I was at an airport in Milwaukee and after I placed the cute little protective covering on the toilet seat and turned around to sit down, the toilet flushed and down went the seat cover! This happened THREE TIMES! It would've made a funny sitcom scene.

Vic Sussman: Yes, but it's a bit too subtle for TV. And there's no blood or death involved. Now, if the toilet had sucked YOU down, we'd have a high concept show.

Orlando: Vic, how long are the LIHIRI archives going to remain on washingtonpost.com? I think I'd like to print some of them out to show my friends who missed out on LIHRIR's glory days.

washingtonpost.com: The archives will remain indefinitely. They should be relatively up-to-date:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/liveonline/rateit.htm

Vic Sussman: I am not as convinced as my lovely producer that my LIHIRI archives will remain forever or even close. Wanna bet I become a non-person within 24 hours of my leaving? That's the way it is in the corporate world. My suggestion, should the LIHIRI archives mysteriously disappear, is to send your questions and comments to the Executive Editor, care of webnews@washingtonpost.com

WDC: "Leaping around in flaming bras..."

I'm SO glad I have a visual mind. I almost fell out of my chair laughing.

Vic Sussman: LIHIRI has always been a public service.

Buzzards Point, DC: For those of you about to rock your new job, we salute you Vic!

We'll miss you!

LI: Your new opportunity

HI: That neither public radio station carries Harry Sherer's Le Show. It's a hoot. Thank goodness for the internet.

Fair winds and following seas, Vic!

Vic Sussman: Thank you. I have always wanted to live in a place called "Buzzards Point." Too cool.

Arlington, VA: HI: It's the last show and I suddenly can't think of anything witty or insightful to say. The shock of impending separation has rendered me speechless, I fear. Going to be a long, boring Wednesday next week.

And, Kefirgirl, watch out for those moose. I used to live in moose and grizzley bear country and the moose killed way more people than the bears ever did. Enjoy your moose from a safe distance (or, yum, on pizza) and watch out for the calves.

Vic Sussman: Right. Mess with the calves and momma moose will happily squash you. I remember driving up a Vermont backroad one afternoon and seeing, way in the distance, a big horse. As I got closer I realized it was a small moose. And ambling out of the trees was a huge moose, the mom. I was driving a VW Rabbit then and could have driven the car right under her torso, she was seemingly that tall. Instead, I stopped the car and waited for the moose family to wander off. Majestic animals, but deadly in the wrong situation.

Something Profound and Meaningful: At least, that's what I'd planned to post. But I'm at a loss for words at the moment...curse of the muse, I suppose.

Vic, thanks for blessing all of us with your wit and wonderful self lo these many Wednesdays. I eagerly await your return to such a forum as this.

Until then, my glass is tipped and I salute you. So long, my cyber lunch friend.

Vic Sussman: May I toast you in the same way, dear friend. You, like many others here, have honored me with your presence, your wit, your crazy humor, and yes, your friendship, every Wednesday. I started this show for fun, never thinking that it would become part of people's lives, much less my own.

As always, the hour is running into two, so I'll keep going until three and then, alas, bail out for the last time on this site.

I know I'm going to have post-partum blues...

Rockville: It's me, the three-time toilet flusher again...here I was all excited that you posted my rant, and then when I read it, I realized that I misspelled a word! How embarrassing...I wanted to "add" to Bethesda's rant (not "ad").

Thanks!

Vic Sussman: We ain't that picky. Especially when people are posting toilet humor.

Fetal Position in the Corner: I wasn't always like this. I use to run, jump, walk, sing....but someone just told me that the tequilla supply is running low. I don't know where it comes from, or how it's made, but, I know it's a vital ingredient to my sweet, sweet margarita....HELP!

Vic Sussman: I'm sure someone here will calm your nerves with more information.

Arlington, VA: To Annandale, VA...The Master and Margarita is easily the greatest novel of the 20th century. Vic, you gotta read it...if only for the theater scene in which the Evil One deomnstrates in a variet yof comical and pathetic ways that people suck.

LI: Master & Margarita +100
HI: Vic's leaving us -100
RI: Vic's leaving us -100

We'll miss you!

Vic Sussman: We bring obscure books and films to light. At least I have a purpose in life.

Arlington: I sent an e-mail to the webnews address you posted last week...took them until today to reply, and lamely at that. Sigh.

Vic Sussman: Well, they get a lot of mail. Why don't you send them lots more mail complaining that they don't answer your mail promptly. I like the circularity of it all.

Somewhere, USA: ok, end this already. your time is up

Vic Sussman: I control the time and the italics around here. But you can take off whenever you like.

Ten more minutes and I'm history.

Annapolis, MD: --Sigh-- I shall miss you my dear Vic. I will definately come visit wherever you come to roost. You have made Wednesdays fun again, except when you made Thursdays fun. But darn it I haven't finished your sweater yet. (How's that for playing with stereotypes? A sharp-tongued spunky broad who is under 30 and KNITS!?!?)

Love you madly dear, until we meet again.

Vic Sussman: Hey, get some steel wool and knit me a stove. I'll be impressed.

Capitol Hill: Any word on what happens to Jen?
(We worry about ya Jen... out there in the big, wide wp world, Vic-less)

washingtonpost.com: Oh, don't worry about me. I'm looking forward to an exciting, lucrative career as a trapeeze artist. It's really for the best.

Vic Sussman: Jen will land on her feet. Or someone else's. She's clever that way.

Myrtle Beach, SC: Vic, I met you at a fundraising party for a Maryland state delegate (as I remember, a friend brought you.) We talked for a bit. I remember you being a really cool guy. I saw that you were leaving, and although this is my first time participating:

LI: William Faulkner, Burt Bacharach

HI: Bad movies, people who run their mouths when they have nothing important to say, the way Britney Spears and boy bands say "bay-bay"

RI: CBS's "Big Brother": -576

Vic Sussman: Are you sure it was me? I have no memory of attending such a party, but when it comes to politics I often go completely blank. If it was me, I hope I was cool. Otherwise, it was somebody else who thought they were me. I've heard that happens.

Glover Park: Would it be appropriate to ask Mr. Buzzard Point for the web address for Harry Sherer's show? I think it's only fair that we share good things amoungst ourselves, since we're losing you...

Vic Sussman: Yo, Buzz. We need you.

Fetal Position Unraveling: RI- Just 'hearing' Vic's sweet voice has made me recover from my alcoholism. Thanks for the memories, Vic. I'll 'see' ya in a new place, sober as a shark!

Vic Sussman: I've been known to heal the halt and the lame, but I only do this as a party joke.

Upstate NY: You probably won't get to this one, but I need to get it off my chest anyway:

LI: that the employee I couldn't stand but couldn't fire finally quit.

HI: that I have to spend my time taking down her stupid posters and comics that she taped to the walls, and throwing out all the crap she pack-ratted over 5 years

RI: that I get to hire someone who will actually do the job right: a big 10

Vic, thanks for giving us all the opportunity to vent week after week. Now we'll have to take out our frustrations on our fellow drivers, grocery line standers, dog poopers, librarians, etc.

Vic Sussman: I got to this one. I'm full of surprises today.

Left wanting: Please, Vic, please. Just one more BWAHAHAH!
How I will miss your wry humor.

OK, everybody, let's go. Show's over.

Vic Sussman:

BwaHAhaHAhahaha!

SPRINGFIELD: Please, Vic, it's your last show! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE post something I've submitted!

Vic Sussman: Will this do?
Minimalism at its best.

Barely There: I'll have to read the last the last ch... er discussion from the archives because I've got to go into a meeting at 2.

LI1: that you'll take up with us again at your new cyberlocale as soon as you can. LI2: my fellow LIHIRI-ers--pledge to meet at Vic's new place when it opens!

HI: that we're facing the empty time on Wednesdays (guess we could actually WORK) until then.

RI: 10 of 10 this Wednesday afternoon cybercoaster we've been on for the past few months. We wouldn't know what new forms of rage exist in this world if not for all these real life postings!

Vic Sussman: Thanks. I'll miss you too. But I'll return in a new guise before too long. I guess I'll have to reprise this show on a
Wednesday now that so many of you have opted to pass on work for a couple of hours.

Bethesda, Maryland: Going to med school in 1.5 weeks- any parting words of wisdom from Iron Vic?

Vic Sussman: Well, given the ongoing popularity of inline skating and the latest fad of mini-scooters, I think you might have a bright career in orthopedics. OTOH, as the Web grows and more and more middle managers move from newspapers to Web sites, you could also make a nice living as a shrink.

Myrtle Beach, SC: Oh, I'm sure it was you. You gave me your card. You were wearing black (surprise) and a skull ring, if I recall. It was at a huge house in Potomac.

Vic Sussman: When I find the guy posing as me, skull ring and all, he's going to be very, very sorry.

Wash DC: Vic - Before you go, just answer one teeny, tiny personal question for us. Do you believe in an afterlife?

Vic Sussman: Well, I certainly believe in near-death experiences. I worked here for two years, so that's proof enough for me.

dc: Everybody clap to bring Vic back!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everybody clap to bring Vic back!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everybody clap to bring Vic back!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everybody clap to bring Vic back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It worked for Tinkerbell

Vic Sussman: Now Vic has the clap and everybody is happy.

alexandria, va: LI - Hearing Marvin Gaye's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner on VH-1 last night. Okay so the "list" is a bit corny but I was on the verge of tears after hearing Marvin blues out the anthem

HI - no more LIHIRI in the near future

RI - the coolest summer in DC in my lifetime 10/10; our options for president 0/10

Vic, thanks for the laughs and for introducing us to the likes of EraserheadGuy, TraumaNurse, and PissedOffLibrarian. May the road rise up to greet you, may the wind be always at your back, may the rain fall softly on your fields and the sun shine warmly on your face. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Vic Sussman: Well, folks. The moment I've dreaded is at hand. It's 3 pm and the usual two hour one hour LIHIRI draws to a close, only for its final curtain. There's not much more I can say to all of you, the ones who come here live and those who read the transcript by candlelight, except thank you. It's been a blast every single week, made possible only by your presence. If it's chemistry, it's been a mix of all of us.

Thanks for this last post. I'm trying to take it all in, the imagery of me having the sun shine on my face, the rain on my back, or was it the wind up my nose and the road rising (what the hell, it's an EARTHQUAKE!!)and now God is holding me in his/her hand....

Yikes. Time to go.

Love you madly....