The Tony and Mike Show
Can't get enough of Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon? Missed the opportunity to witness the carnage live? Have no fear the transcript of this week's edition of The Show follows.
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: Good afternoon everyone and Welcome to The Chat House....
Greetings from Minne-SO-ta where it is a balmy 32 degrees and where fortunately we have Gary Williams, Steve Lavin... but thankfully no Bob Knight. Mike
Kornheiser, who has been in the office, since a little after 1 pm, has apparently blown off The Chat House for a while. He can't be stuck in traffic... maybe stuck in the bathroom. Mike
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: I was in traffic. It was unbelievably BAD getting here, but now I'm here so ask away!! Tony
Is this the year Maryland makes it out of the Sweet 16?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: NO. They both said that.
They might not even make it into the Sweet 16. Tony
Just 2 days ago, I picked Maryland to beat UCLA. Mike
And I didn't as you remember... Tony
Well, I was an idiot, because I don't believe Md. will beat UCLA on Saturday. ULCA is EXTREMELY talented. Mike
I want some DAP from Wilbon!! Tony
See, you apparently will get some DAP on UCLA. But you will not get DAP on Oregon over Seton Hall. Mike
I didn't pick Oregon. Tony
But his coaching buddies did on the radio. Mike
Am I responsible for what they do? Tony
Yes, when, I'm losing you are. I was 15-1 yesterday how about some dap for that. The only game I lost and you can look it up on this web site. I picked St. Louis to beat Utah and that was the dumbest pick of the day b/c... Mike
It is impossible to do The Chat House because Wilbon is watching all of the games on TV and I'm not. Tony
Well, you should be watching. Nothing is better than the 1st week of the NCAA tourney. NOTHING. Mike
I agree with that. But I have loyalty to The Chat House. Tony
I have loyalty to the brackets. Mike
Shakespeare & Co., Paris:
What's the deal with the Oscar statues? Do you guys have them? If they don't find em, what will they hand out next week - replicas made of chopped liver?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: It's very typical in the year that Denzel is going to win an Oscar for Best Actor, the statues are stolen. It is another case of the man trying to keep the brothah down. Tony
Not that you guys would be interested because it has to do with hockey but John McMullen sells the New Jersey Devils yesterday to George Steinbrenner's group, and now wants to buy the Colorado Avalanche, Denver Nuggets, and the new Pepsi Center. Is this sports ownership's version of day trading? Old John must have had a killer day in the market yesterday.
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: I'm not interested because it's hockey. Tony
This is something that is potentially dangerous when people acquire these properties like its Monopoly. The leagues are going to have to be vigilant about who is buying their teams. Mike
There is nothing wrong with McMullen. Tony
No, you're right. It's about the practice of Day Trading. Mike
This is America. The stock market ran up 499 points yesterday and the commissioner of the stock market, and the head of Merrill Lynch didn't walk into offices, including the one of Donald Wilbon and say be careful who you are selling to. This is America. America is about making money. Tony
This from a guy when Leonsis and Ledecky bought the Caps completely disparaged their personal worth because he didn't trust... Mike
The Internet. Tony
Now he's like John Wayne calling .coms the foundations of America. Mike
Mike & Tony,
Any word from the brain trust on the performances of Arrington and Brown at their workout yesterday? Or what Robiskie is saying about Warrick? Which two of the big four -including Samuels- would you each like to see the Skins draft?
I'm going to the draft on April 15th. Will the Post send someone to cover it live, or just rely on wire reports and the television broadcast?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: This is incredible. They timed Peter Warrick indoors on a gym floor in 4.6 secs. They timed Arrington and Brown outdoors in 4.5. Their linebackers and they beat Warrick. And if Warrick doesn't get a better time than that, than he's Desmond Howard baby!!
Or Jerry Rice.
Get out of here Rice. Tony
You don't have any idea of his time. Mike
Rice timed at 4.58. Mike
I'm going to aks you one question: If Warick time was 4.6 and you were a GM would that concern you? Tony
Yes, it would but it would not prevent me from drafting him. I'm going to trust what I saw on the field for 4 years. Not my watch. -Mike
What did you see for 4 years from Howard? Tony
We saw Howard for a year and a half. He was great. Mike
This guy is better. Mike
Look, I really like Warrick, but this was what people were whispering: that he was not as fast as he looked in college and this is why people said he didn't want to be timed at all. Tony
Yep, that's right. Mike
Now, maybe he's one of those guys and there are these guys who are much better in the actual game than in the workout. Tony
Game speed not watch speed. Mike
The Olympic Games are coming up. What will be the events and athletes to watch? Are y'all both going?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: International women's tennis because it appears that Anna Kournakova is going to be taking off her top to play. Tony
Well, she better do that because she has a better chance of getting attention for that than for winning something. Mike
Are you knocking Anna? Tony
I never knock her. Mike
Oregon with the ball. Tied at 62. Less than 30 secs left. Mike
Is Juan Dixon that good, or am I just a hopeless homer? His sense of the game and how to score reminds me of Reggie Miller. What is the word on his defensive abilities? Any word on his going pro? I hope not, but he's got more polish than last year's top five picks...
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: He's not going anywhere and he's making himself a GREAT player. I would not compare him to Reggie Miller.. Mike
Miller is 6 ft. 7. Tony
I would compare him with someone like John Starks and Dixon is as tough a player as there is mentally and physcially in the ACC. Mike
Hi all, Tony I went to Glory Days recently and there is a steak called "The Tony Kornheiser" on the menu. What gives?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: Hi Germantown, yeah, they have this 16 oz. Porterhouse and they asked me they could name it after me and they would give a $1 to Children's Hospital for every steak that was ordered. I was flattered and I said sure. I understand they are naming a chocolate ice cream sundae after Wilbon. Tony
How about the Georgetown-U-Va. game the other night? I hope you two saw it. Does Georgetown have a good chance of rebuilding the program without John Thompson or are they doomed to being second-tier for the forseeable future?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: I did not see one second of the game. We were taping our show with George Michael. I feel bad because I heard it was a great game. Mike
I saw the first half and the highlights the next day. Look, Craig Esherick is the coach at Georgetown because he was incredibly loyal to Thompson and vice-versa. But Esherick will not get 10 years to bring the Hoyas back to a position of prominence that they did not enjoy until a week ago. The two games he won in the tourney and the victory over U-Va. indicate the possibly Georgetown could be ready to take a big leap back into the top 25 the way U-Va. did many years ago after winning the NIT in Ralph Sampson's freshman year and then making the Final Four in his sophomore year. I'm not predicting Georgetown will do that. In fact, I can't believe they would. But, they have very nice, very young players, particularly Braswell and Scruggs, and it looks like they are the way back, I think. Tony
I like those players, Scruggs, Braswell and Boumtje-Boumtje. Mike
The knock on Warrick that I heard was that he didn't have natural ball catching hands, that he relied too much on his speed.
I think that it was very telling that only T. Robiskie went to FSU, while the owner, VP, head coach and D Co-ord wen to PSU, and the same crowd is going to 'Bama, with Grimm replacing Rhodes.
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: Yeah, well the smart $$ was that Cleveland was going to take Warrick. I don't know where you heard that about the hands thing "natural pass catching hands." What you are like an anthropologist? Does that mean I have "natural column typing hands?" Tony
What, are we going to get into fast twitching movements next? Mike
Oregon.... dumbest !@##@!$@#$%^ team EVER. Score: Seton Hall up one. Seton Hall is going to win. They don't do dumb stuff even though Oregon is a better physical team. Mike
Oregon had a great year. GREAT YEAR. Tony
I don't know if they are stupid, but they are playing stupid. Dumb basketball in OT. Mike
Tony and Mike, you who in your opninion is cuter? Mary, Carolyn Hax or Shannon Henry?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: I don't know who Shannon Henry is. Tony
She is a tech columnist here at The Post. Mary
And I'm not going to rate people's looks for you, you FREAK. Tony
New Diggings, Wis.:
Squeak out to all the ferrets out there!
Tony - I see your radio show is on five different stations in the Wausau, Wisconsin, area. How does it feel to be the Howard Stern of North Central Wisconsin?
Who do you like in the ESPN.com Battle of the Mascots? Can the University of Wisconsin's Bucky Badger take the Syracuse Orange?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: You spend far too much time paying attention to mascots. As for the radio show being on in Wisconsin, I'm very happy to be on anywhere and to always bring Wilbon to the people he loves so. Tony
You're on in split time here in Minnesota. Mike
I'm on on a 5 watt station in Minneapolis. The sister station of KFAN. The ugly step sister. Tony
It's a very odd sked. Tony
Palos Verdes, Calif.:
Tony, I keep hearing stories that say the way that Tiger Woods swings, the torque placed on his back muscles will cut short his career--or at least his reign as the best golfer since Nicklaus. Is this another Urban Legend?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: Look, I play golf, but I'm old and I have NO flexibililty. The things Tiger does w/his body are incredible. Just looking at him and understanding the natural process of aging, you don't think he can do this for say, 20 more years. But, he's such a GREAT golfer. So much better than everyone else, that just like a veteran in any other sport, he'll be smart enough to make the adjustments that will keep him on top. Just like Jordan did the last three years in the NBA. Right Mike. Tony
Yeah, Jordan didn't dunk his last three years. He shot fadeaways. Mike
I hope Tiger's spine continues not to pay attention to his back and his body. I hope his spine just stays asleep. Mike
Oregon ball. 8 secs left. Mike
They've had their chances right. Tony
Do you both feel just a little giddy over the Wizzers' win last night? I had that game figured for yet another in a string of humiliations. You have to wonder exactly what the Basketball Diety told them in the pre-game? I loved Shaq's post-game comments -- "nobody stopped me, I was just missing my shots" -- Hello? You got beat down -- admit it. BTB? Has Shaq gotten better about showing Tex Winter some love? He owes Tex for teaching him the zen of shooting the foul shot.
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: I was there. I thought Shaq after the first quarter was unstoppable. Did we watch a different game than you?
The guy had 40-12. What is this guy talking about? Mike
I think you can explain this easily. The Lakers were 3,000 miles from home, starting a game a 4 pm PST time against a team they knew nothing about and didn't have to know anything about because they would NEVER play them in the playoffs. And the Wizards played great. If this game was to get into the playoffs for the Lakers, they would have won it. All streaks end, and usually against teams you don't expect them to end with. But again, the Wizards played GREAT. Tony
It's a HUGE upset. But not really a...Seton Hall layup w/1.9 sec left. They allowed Seton Hall a layup to take it into OT and to win the game. God, they played Dumb. But, it's not particularly shocking. The Wizards have won on the road against NY and on the road against San Ant. the 2 teams that were in the NBA finals. The primary reason the Wizards are SOOO disgustingly disappointing is once you've shown you can play with New York and San Antonio you shouldn't loose to the Bulls twice and the Clippers and Vancouver! This makes reading this team even more difficult b/c they are such DOGS against teams they should beat. Yet, they rise up and play these great games against teams you figure they have NO chance against. It's not like this happens once... they play teams really tough. Mike
They play Chicago tomorrow night. Tony
I wouldn't be surprised if they played like dogs tomorrow night. Mike
They'll beat the Bulls by 18 points.Tony
No, they won't. Mike
This is what happens when you're not self-motivated when you're motivated not to be embarassed by great teams. Their motivation is ALL Screwed up and it started in training camp. Mike
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: SHOUT OUT:
Bill Grant and Matt Lee at washingtonpost.com who make The Chat House possible every week. Mary
Tommy Jacomo at The Palm, to Gail and David and Zack in St. Paul. To Norman Chad in LA and to the Dalai Lama who has been to more Wizards Games than Michael Jordan. Tony
To: Anthony Cotton, his wife Theresa and their son Quinn who are also in the Twin Cities but have been snubbed by TK (can't a brotha' get a shout out?). Mike
I apologize to Cotton and I want him to know that after my golf vacation in 2 weeks, I will be consistently under 90, I hope and pray. Tony
Mike, you stated that you would not take a OT with either of the Skins picks. Do you think the the Desmond fiasco will play a part in not going after Warrick if he's available? Would you trade one of those picks for Keyshawn?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: Good question about Keyshawn. I would not take an offensive tackle with the second or third pick. I live in Washington. The linemen that I see who are in this town who are going to be discussed for the Hall of Fame in January are : Joe Jacoby, who was an undrafted free agent and Russ Grimm who was drafted in the third rounds. You can find great linemen without using 2nd and 3rd picks of the entire drafts. It happens to every team in the league. The dominant, franchise defensive players, like people have projected Arrington and Brown to be, are almost always taken high in the 1st round. I would trade for Keyshawn w/the 3rd pick if Brown or Arrington have already been taken by Cleveland. Mike
I would trade for Keyshawn and get rid of Westbrook. Johnson has PROVEN that he is an all-pro receiver and I could maybe get something useful for Westbrook. Tony
If you're going to have Keyshawn, why not offer Westbrook to New York for Keyshawn? Mike
I would do that in a hearbeat. Would you? Tony
Yeah, I think so. Mike
Michael, will you be covering opening day for DC United -March 25 vs. LA- in your column? There is a huge audience for coverage of United, MLS, and soccer in general.
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: Tony is laughing out loud right now folks...... Mary
Baltimore, have you ever heard of "March Madness?" Mike
Wilbon the king of soccer!! Please, your public awaits you. Tony
MIKE, TONY, I LOVE YOU GUYS, AND YOU BOTH WRITE OUTSTANDING ARTICLES! I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF THE FUTURE OF THE WIZARDS. DO YOU SEE THEM SIGNING A BIG TIME FREE AGENT, LIKE HILL OR DUNCAN, OR POSSIBLY MAKING A BLOCKBUSTER TRADE OF SOME SORT? IM GETTING VERY IRRITATED WITH SEEING THIS TEAM LOSE, WE HAVE A LOT OF TALENT, AND WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS. THANK YOU BOTH.
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: Why is your question in all capital letters? That's all I want to say. Tony
Have you heard of a salary cap? Have you been paying attention to the cap? Have you heard Duncan's name mentioned in conjunction w/the Wizards? It can get better in only two ways... Mike
1) Shoot themselves. Tony
1) They could come back in October and in real physical condition for athletes and be better with these players.
2) They can hope that some team which is unable to sign a big name free agent wants to make a deal that could involve Howard. The chance of that is SLIM. Mike
How many questions are typically submitted to your Chat House? I try to send one or two every week, questions that are funny and insightful and they NEVER get answered! Okay so I'm making up the insightful part but really! Some moron asks you who is the cutest babe among the chat house women and you deign to answer it! Who cares who is the cutest? One may as well ask who is the smartest sportswriter at your freaking paper!
Well, who is the smartest? We already know who is the cutest.
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: We never answer your questions because we have placed a hidden camera in your computer and we see how stupid you are. Tony
It's very simple. Mary
We just answered this stupid question/comment, so I guess your streak is over. Mike
New York, N.Y.:
Tony, Mike and Mary What's up with The Chat House being dissed by participants in other washingtonpost.com chats? Is it just a case of severe Internet envy or what? I've even seen you getting abused in the food chats. If there ever should be a bond in cyberspace, it should be between The Chat House and food. What gives?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: I am not going to dignify any low rent ferret who may have said bad things about us in other chat lines. Let's just add up the total number of page views (Mary had to tell me that, by the way) and see whose chats are getting the most action. Do the math. I mean, these people are like barnicles on the great sprawling backside of the Internet. Tony
A bunch of weasels try to belittle whatever happens that is produced by The Sports Deptartment. Not only here but at every major market in America. What they don't realize that while they might want to disparage sports, they could die in the office and no one would EVER have an idea they had gone away and I have a feeling I know about some of the weasels you are talking about. So, let them keep getting their 12 page views and their high brow attitudes, and they'll keep getting SMOKED by The Chat House!! Mike
Bradley Beach, N.J.:
OK, you're not Harvard Business School grads, but could someone explain how long professional sports can continue to pay their players more and more, charge their fans more and more and collect more and more for their TV rights? Sooner or later the bubble bursts - then what? What sport do you think is in the most precarious position should their be an economic downturn?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: Why don't you go and ask your question to someone who is a Harvard Biz School grad? Obviously, Wilbon and I aren't smart enough to answer it. And, while you're on the way to Harvard to find this knowledge, why don't you get run over by a bus. Snobby freak! Tony
Mike is gurgling with laughter in Minnesota. Mary
Right? Screw this guy Wilbon? Tony
I was going to answer but I'm intimidated now. Let me say this, people have been predicting that the sky was going to fall since free agency was introduced in the 70's. Every year people say the bubble is going to burst, this can't go on much longer, except it does. Mike
Quite frankly, I was taken aback by Bobby Knight's comments. None of my sheep would ever have extra marital affairs and if they did they would be discreet enought not to speak to an unnamed source. Honestly, is this man going over the edge? Do you think that he is unjustifiably attacked more than he should be?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: Knight walked into a press conference yesterday and said he was tired of stories with unnamed sources and he said, I just heard from an unnamed source that 65 percent of you were having an affair with a sheep. Tony
I'll be attacking him in a column tomorrow which you can read here on washingtonpost.com. The gloves will be off. Mike
[Read the column}
I think in so many ways Knight becomes a sort of self-fulfilling column. Every single column written about him regurgitates EVERY SINGLE Thing he has ever done. He brought this on himself. I have written this and I still believe it now. If I had to pick 1 coach for 1 game for my life, I'd pick Bobby Knight. And that is a sep. issue from what he does to his players and to the world in general to keep control of them. Tony
I take Coach K if I had to win one game for my life. But Knight is one of the greatest coaches in the history of team sports and he is also a bully and an evil bastard on many occassions. More than 1 thing can be true about a person. Mike
Pickle Bowl at Mel Krupin's:
When the Caps consistently fail to sell out at MCI Center, everyone says, well, DC isn't a hockey town.
They said the same thing about the Flyers in Philly back in the early 70's before that team marketed the Flyers image as tough working-class brawlers that like Kate Smith's God Bless America. They marketed the team around Philadelphia's image.
Can the Caps management do the same trick here?
Michael Wilbon & Tony Kornheiser: What image? What is DC's image? Whiney little wimpy place where we buy off all the bread off the shelves when it snows 1 inch? A place where all the streets are carved up by .com companies and can't be repaired? Too many lawyers and long lunches? What's our image? We don't have an image. That's why they came up w/the name Wizards. They couldn't come up with a real name. Mike
When Kate Smith started singing God Bless America, the Broad Street Bullies were about to win a NHL championship. You put a c'ship hockey team in here and maybe you'll sell out too. Tony
There was championship caliber team here 2 years ago and they couldn't sell out the 1st few games of the ensuing season. Mike
They have to win it. Tony
That shouldn't matter. YOu get to the finals. That should be enough. At least for the first three months of the season to pay attention. Mike
You've convinced me. Goodbye to you, goodbye to everyone in the Chat House. Have a nice weekend. Tony
And, also, any of these ferrets who want to criticize us in their lame-oids Chat lines, well have at us! BRING IT ON! There must be 10's of people paying attention to you. Tony
As my idol Ditka would say: You know where I work. Mike
Happy St. Patricks' Day. Tony
This is not exactly an Irish stronghold here in Minneapolis. I am going back to basketball now. Please feel free to test my bracket skills in the contest we have... the March Madnet contest we're having here on washingtonpost.com. I was 15-1 yesterday and so far 3-1 today. T-shirts for whoever beats me. Have a good weekend, but not too good when it come to your picks. Mike
Production note: I'm producing the video... Chapter One: The Chat House (there will be several parts) on Monday. Look for Chapter One next Friday... I swear! Happy St. Patrick's Day. Be safe. Mary
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