Paul Farhi: Greetings, all. I'm jacking in from Los Angeles today, where I'm doing some reporting (or so I told my editors) so I guess that makes this a Very Special Episode of Station Break. L.A. TV news is a gas--crazy, sensational, populated by young star wannabes. Every cliche about L.A. is true when it comes to the local news; it's superficial, beautiful and most entertaining, in a completely bankrupt way. You have to love that in a newscast. Radio's far better--more variety, bigger playlists, more local personality(ies). Surprisingly, the local talk stuff on the public stations is every bit as good as Washington. All that and maybe a trip to Disneyland. Now let's go to the phones...

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Adams Morgan, Washington, D.C.: Paul,

An early question for you: In these chats and elsewhere I always hear people ridicule the local Fox affiliate's evening news program. It's low-brow, heavy on the commercial hype, and sensationalistic... yet, I scanned a list of local Emmy winners, and it looked like Fox 5 nearly swept all the news awards. What gives? Who votes on these things, and why do they have such a different perspective on what constitutes a "good" news program from what everyone I know believes?

Paul Farhi: The people who vote on these things are usually news pros from other markets, which means they don't see the totality of the local newscasts, just the discreet (or is it "discrete"?) entries from the stations. In other words, a segment on X might win a prize, but the judges have rarely seen the entire context in which X aired. I sorta discount the whole thing. I mean, every anchorperson who lasts more than two years here eventually wins an award, and often several.

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Capitol Hill: What is your opinion of Ron and Fez on WJFK? I love their show. They are funny without to much below-the-belt or scatological humor? How are the ratings? Why does JFK have them do one hour during the day?

Paul Farhi: R&F have really grown on me (and, yes, I know: penicillin will clear that right up). Their chemistry is superb, and I think they've really improved over time. Their show is one of the few that I know will make me laugh every 48 seconds or so (okay, them and O'Reilly, but O'R in a bad way).

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WJFK: I work the overnight shift at a hotel. I actually enjoyed the Don and Mike and Ron and Fez late night replays.

Why does the station play the syndicated Sporting News radio network instead? This area is already served by Fox Sports Radio network/ESPN on WTEM. I could understand if they produced a LOCAL radio sports show but all syndicated sports radio is largely the same!!

Why not try something else?

Paul Farhi: I'm with you. Why not try something "experimental"? There's very little revenue potential at those hours, anyway, so taking a flyer on some unknown could turn into a home run. Anybody out there want to do a radio show?

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12th Floor Metro Center, Washington, D.C.: I've always looked at the local Emmys as sort of a joke. I mean, so many times there are multiple winners in one category or only one nominee. I'd be sort of embarrassed if I were up for "Best Weathercast."

Paul Farhi: Yep. And does one weathercaster or anchorperson actually have a "good" year worthy of an award, as compared to all his/her previous years? How can the judges tell Bob Ryan or Rene Knott or Gordon Peterson is really hitting 'em out of the park this year, as compared to, say, 1998?

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Arlington, Va.: Hi Paul,

Of the younger local TV anchors/reporters, who do you think has "breakout" talent.

Paul Farhi: Dare I say this? Will Thomas has the sort of weird androgynous look that makes him jump off the screen. And that's a good thing in TV news. He will go far on the national level. As for others, let's see...Anyone?

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Bethesda, Md.: Is the sport junkie's doing that bad in the ratings to
try and pick a fight with Elliot in the Morning?

Paul Farhi: It makes sense, though, doesn't it? Elliot's No. 1, I believe, in the young audience (18-34) the Junks want. So why not take on Mr. No. 1. Once they get people talking about themselves in the same sentence with Elliot, they've accomplished something. And let's note that DC 101 seems to be taking the Junks seriously; hence the local TV ad campaign for the Laughing One.

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Chantilly, Va.: Hi Paul: any thoughts on Don and Mike's whining about their lack of remuneration from their syndication deal?

My wife said they got so annoying she had to change the station -- and we are both big, long-time fans.

Paul Farhi: Yes, they need to give it a rest. But, generically speaking, I have always liked the way Don and Mike make the nuts and bolts of the radio biz into schtick (ratings, management issues, competition, advertising, whatever). It is, as the kidz like to say, very post-modern. In this case, though, enough already.

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Arlington, Va.: I heard June 15 was the "drop-dead" date for Dennis Haysbert's contract with "24." Either he re-ups for next year or his character has, uh, "dropped dead." Do you think they should keep him or let him go?

Paul Farhi: See, we can do "24" stuff even AFTER the season ends! Haysbert ain't gonna leave; this is all posturing. Both sides need each other, and both sides know it (see: James Gandolfini negotiations with HBO). And, of course, they should keep him. Jack Bauer wouldn't be the same without him, nor would the show. Who they gonna get to play the president, anyway? Martin Sheen?

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Washington, DC: Great article on the bald truth show!

Seems like WJFK is trying to become more of a real station on the weekends, but wouldn't you agree that a few new fresh shows to the weekend would be an order. Anything is better than replays and such.

washingtonpost.com: An Advocate for the Balding Plugs Into Ungrowing Radio Market (Post, June 16)

Paul Farhi: Thanks. And, yes, I do agree that WJFK should freshen up the place with some new programming (see earlier screed).

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Rockville, Md.: Paul, where do the people who leave MAD TV and SNL go? For instance, I adored Alex Boorstein and Will Sasso from MAD TV and especially liked their crazy on the street interviews with celebrities, and the Miss Swan skits. They leave the show, no mention is made, and we haven't seen them since. Similarly talented folks from SNL (Molly Shannon and Cheri O'Terri) also seem to fade away. Where can I find them?

Paul Farhi: I never quite understood why stars and semi-stars leave these shows. For every Chevy Chase, Eddie Murphy, Mike Myers and/or Will Ferrell, there are six Joe Piscopos. Granted, sometimes the separation is forced (contract not renewed), but often it's because the "star" has been pumped full of nonsense by managers, agents and PR people. I've seen Shannon and Oteri--two supremely talented performers--on TV and in bit movie parts lately, but more likely than not, they're headed down the Piscopo Highway.

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Chevy Chase, Md.: Paul,

What do you think of one of the other personalities eventually breaking from the Jack Diamond morning show. I am not a regular listener, but find that Jack is the worst part of the show. Personally, I find Chili Amar to be the most enjoyable. Thanks.

Paul Farhi: Can't stand that show. But then, I am a guy and I'm not supposed to.

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Prime Time Sports?: Hey Paul,

What's your take on the future of sports in Primetime after these awful numbers for ABC? Is it going to move to cable? Or do the networks just have to put up with the bad match-ups so they get the good?

(P.S. The folks at NBC who let the NBA go must be smiling today!!)

Paul Farhi: Fascinating question. Hockey and basketball seem to be all but dead as primetime network (i.e., broadcast network) shows. And baseball is slipping, slipping, slipping, too. (To give you an idea how bad hockey is doing, ESPN drew almost as many viewers to a women's softball game than ABC did with the Stanley Cup finals). Maybe the answer is not so much yanking these sports from broadcast TV altogether, but re-negotiating the deals so that they are more viable propositions for the networks.

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Potomac, Md.: How come Don and Mike don't pick on you?

Paul Farhi: Because I'm a prince of a fellow, a literary genius, and the winner of several perfect attendance awards.

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McLean, Va.: What, Piscopo in "Johnny Dangerously" wasn't a big enough role for you?

Paul Farhi: I did love Piscopo's Frank Sinatra imitation. Better than Phil Hartman's, which was plenty fine.

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Jack Diamond: Hey, I'm NOT a guy and I can't stand that show either. Don't insult womankind by assuming that show appeals to most of us... especially when he goes on about his young wife and baby.

Paul Farhi: Uh oh. Here come the Diamond Hatas...

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RE: Jack Diamond: Since 9/11 I have pretty much only listened to WTOP, but I checked back in to Mix 107.3 the other day, and Jack was AWFUL.

His pompous attitude has increased. His moral snobbery is dripping. He loves to dish on Hollywood stars, but only by putting them down. Like he is so high and mighty.

My wife was floored when I told her I thought he was a lifelong Democrat and friend of Al Gore. She thinks he's worse than the guys on Fox Cable!

Paul Farhi: Hey, hey, don't drag Fox News into this...

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Washington, D.C.: I'm a balding man (gonna be 30 in two weeks). I can't believe people are THAT obsessed and worried over the thinning locks.

Paul Farhi: I was surprised (and actually quite amused) about that, too. You wanna say it's no big deal, but that's kind of presumptuous, ain't it? People obsess about, and feel anxiety over, every damn thing you can name. This is just another of 'em.

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Re: Prime-Time Sports: I'll bet you Fox is still kicking itself in the pants for being stuck with playoffs and the world series for the next three years. It's put a major damper on their bringing out their fall lineups for the past couple of seasons. Baseball just ain't what it used to be.

Paul Farhi: The ratings do go up and down, depending on who's playing (the networks are ALWAYS rooting for New York, L.A. and Chicago teams to make it), but, yes, it does slow up the fall launch. Fox's spin, by the way, is that the World Series broadcasts enable them to promote their new shows to people who wouldn't otherwise be watching Fox. I guess that makes sense, if Fox wants a lot of 50-something men to watch "American Idol."

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Re: Local Emmys: They were properly portrayed on the Mary Tyler Moore Show, remember?

Paul Farhi: No. Please refresh the home viewing audience's collective memory...

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Burke, Va.: Are there any Jack Diamond fans out there who can enlighten the masses about why you think that show is so great?

Paul Farhi: Fair question...

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Washington, D.C.: Will the DC area ever get Jimmy Kimmel? I hear it is a funny show!

Paul Farhi: Probably when/if Disney buys out Allbritton Comm., which owns WJLA. Kimmel's show is hostage to a real dust-up between Disney/ABC and Allbritton. Long story short: both sides are seeking leverage over the other, and Allbritton has refused to "clear" Kimmel's show. It's a standoff at the moment, and I don't see a resolution in sight.

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I hate 107.3: Thank God I moved and no longer pull in the Jack Diamond morning show. They (and how many of them are there, eight?) are the single worst morning program I have ever heard. Drivel, blather, babble, and what they think passes as high-minded discourse.

(I know, for someone who hates them, I did listen to it, back when it was the only thing that came in clearly on my clock radio)

Paul Farhi: More on Jack...

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Mix 107: Jack Diamond is supposed to be attractive to women listeners! Ugh! On what planet? I can't stand the constant chatting about "nothing" At least Seinfeld was funny about "nothing."

Paul Farhi: And still more...

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Ick! Will Thomas!: Will Thomas inspires me with fear, not with confidence! He did a segment last night on the assaults on teens near an abandoned Public Housing complex, and began his piece walking behind a set of swings while two girls were swinging. He looked like a stalker.

However, I DO remember his name, which is more that I can for the other drones on the news.

Paul Farhi: Well, at least he's no Jack Diamond...

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Minneapolis, Minn.: Bald Truth - oh man, that is just soooooo sad.

I've always equated the balding of males with being a small breasted female. There are many pros that come with having a small chest. There are many pros to being bald. My mother finds bald guys
more attractive.

It is all in how you carry yourself.

It makes for great radio, though.

Paul Farhi: Yikes: balding men=small-breasted women. That one goes under Ridiculous Analogies and you fail your SATs, Minneapolis. Interesting factoid: pattern baldness is caused by an excess of a form of testosterone! So us guys who are losing it are actually MORE male than those hairy fellas.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Paul, how long before local news here is piped in from some mega-media central location? All the cut-always to network reporters from other cities seems to say we're headed that way.

Paul Farhi: We're there, in a way, already, as you point out. Channel 4 has used a variation of this; they will have a reporter (used to be Steve Handelsman, may be still) stationed in some national or international hot spot. He feeds a live report that is shared by several NBC-owned stations. The tipoff is his signoff. When he says "back to you" and doesn't mention the anchor by name, you know he's throwing it back to multiple stations. That said, the News Central model may work for small stations around the country, but I doubt a similar format would fly in a big city like Washington.

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MTM: Mary Tyler Moore Show had a recurring awards called the "Teddies" and how Ted Baxter would never win one -- one year he decides to pray on the air, reunite a kid with his lost dog (of course, he was going to steal it). In previous years, he tripped the winner of the anchorman of the award year, did something with a shish kabob stick and it was all part of an on-going routine through the years of MTM Show. They even had the same announcer for each "Teddie" themed show. (Yes, I need a life)

Paul Farhi: Yes! Buried memory recovered! Thanks for sharing. Amazing, ain't it, how little has changed in TV news since the days of Ted, Lou and Mary.

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Washington, D.C.: You can keep Kimmel -- ugh. I have rarely seen someone so gross and vile, except Martin Lawrence. This is one show we don't need. Bleagh!

Paul Farhi: Kimmel IS one of those guys who make you realize you've become too old to "appreciate" what the Young Whippersnappers are throwin' down. "The Man Show" was a one-note joke. The little I've seen of his new show seems underwhelming. But he was pretty witty on "Win Ben Stein's Money."

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Who's kicking who?: You think Fox is upset about the long-term baseball contract? Just think how ABC feels being stuck with Drew Carey for two more years!

Paul Farhi: Hahaha! Why they made that deal is a headscratcher!

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RE: Will Thomas: Will Thomas is the WALKING REPORTER! Notice how whenever he is out in the field he also figures out a way to walk while he is reporting. He can't keep still!

This could be a Fox thing, not just a Will Thomas thing, but for some reason I always notice it with him.

Paul Farhi: I think that's a Fox thing, because I've seen Laura Evans(?) and other reporters do it. Another Fox5 trope: the holding up of papers to the camera, as if to say "We've got the documents to prove it RIGHT HERE!"

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40 Year old female: I am a faithful metro rider. To show you how much I REALLY dislike the Jack Diamond show, I had satellite radio installed in my car -- just in case.

Paul Farhi: Wow. Isn't that going a bit far? I mean, couldn't you just change the presets on your car radio?

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New York, N.Y.: So what made LA's public radio stations so good?

Paul Farhi: Probably my own low expectations, mostly. Given the general tenor of the news media here, I thought they'd probably get sucked down into the sleaze whirlpool. But they keep it pretty high-minded, and nicely local. KCRW, in Santa Monica, does some excellent chat stuff. KPFW, the Pacifica station, is not nearly so off-the-charts lefty as you'd expect. Put it this way: You can actually learn something about Southern California by listening to these stations.

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Washington, D.C.: Paul,

You write "Radio's far better--more variety, bigger playlists, more local personality(ies)." So radio is different market to market? So radio has playlists that don't overlap? So radio is interesting?

How come all we hear out of maintream press is how much radio sucks?

Paul Farhi: Good question. I might start by arguing about contrasts; once you've listened to your local market for a long time, it tends to seem familiar and repetitive. Going elsewhere gives you a fresher set of programs and stations that certainly SEEM different. But I'm often struck, when I travel, by how much sharper other radio markets SEEM to be than Washington. Maybe if I settled down, I'd think L.A., San Francisco, Chicago or whatever were just as repetitive and as frequently dull as Washington.

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Tenleytown, Washington, D.C.: Paul: The Post business section again reports today that CD sales are down. I attribute that in large part to the dearth of music played on our tightly formatted radio stations. I was in the Pittsburgh area last week. There is a tremendous listener supported modern alternative rock station. I recognized very little of the music, and heard a lot of good sounding music (particularly Fountains of Wayne, Liz Wright - a stunning singer, Les Nubians, and recent Paul Weller). Even their oldies were non-mainstream: Dire Straits "Romeo & Juliet", for example. It was exciting and made me consider some new buys, especially the jazzy Ms. Wright. It leads me to believe that the lack of radio alternatives kills exposure to so many artists that CD sales are bound to suffer because no one knows anything about the music.

Paul Farhi: All good points, Tenleytown. But CD sales are declining because of file sharing, too, I'm sure, which argues in the opposite direction: More people are discovering more and different kinds of music. They're just getting it from the Internet, not radio.

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Washington, D.C. for work: I miss Gina Crash's morning show on WHFS. Why did it go away? There is now NO morning show that I can stand (besides the oldies station, and I only like oldies intermittently). I'm an almost-30 female. I can't STAND Elliot in the morning (total troglodyte) and the Sports Junkies aren't much better.

Just my two cents!

Paul Farhi: Gina, I believe, went up the interstate to Philly. And you certainly don't seem to fit the typical mold--I mean, you're almost 30 and you listen to both alt rock AND oldies? A renaissance woman!

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Minneapolis, Minn.: So you are saying that small breasted women are less female? Hmmmmm...... interesting.

Actually -- they are very similar in the way people obsess about it.

Will the opposite sex fine me attractive? What ridiculous things can I do to make up for what is just plain old genetics (stuffing my bra -- getting a toupee, bad plugs -- bad implants...)?

Both have huge money comming in on snake oil remedies offered in the backs of magazines...

Failed my SATs indeed.

Paul Farhi: No, that's NOT what I'm saying at all. And may I point out, in the politest way possible, that this isn't Female Body Image Chat? That's on Thursdays, with another host.

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Washington, D.C.: How do they (the ubiquitous they) measure how many people listen to given radio station? Arbitron ratings, they're called?

Do they survey people or what?

Paul Farhi: Yes. A "balanced" sample of the population in each city is selected, and given diaries in which they record what they listened to and when. The sample is selected using the same techniques as opinion-survey research. It all sounds very scientific, or at least academic, but it's not. There are many problems with Arbitron's data--oversampling, undersampling, incomplete data, etc. What it mainly has going for it is that no one has yet been able to come up with a competing system, or perhaps a better one (Arbitron is trying, though; it's testing passive electronic meters that automatically record what someone is listening to).

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Washington, D.C.: As an aside to the Junkies question earlier, why would or could there be a discrepancy between the "book" and the "trends?" I thought in the last book, the Junks were showing strong growth. Yet, in the monthly trends, if you listen to them, the sky is falling. Are the book and the trend measurements of the same thing? What gives?

Paul Farhi: I haven't seen the "trends" (monthly snapshots, as opposed to the "book," which is the quarterly average) so I'll have to take your word for it that there's a discrepancy of some sort. It could be that the trends are accurate--Junks listenership is falling, and that the last book is old news. But again, I don't know. Maybe we should wait until the next book, which will be out in mid-July or so...

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BREAKING NEWS: Kimmel to Host American Music Awards
Mon, Jun 16, 2003 01:06 PM PDT

LOS ANGELES - Jimmy Kimmel has been a late-night host for just a few months, but he's managed to land a gig that confers some extra status: hosting a prime-time awards show.

Kimmel has been named to host the American Music Awards, which will air in November on ABC. It's his first shot at hosting a prime-time show.

"I am thrilled to be hosting the American Music Awards," Kimmel says. "As it stood, I didn't have any plans for that night."

Paul Farhi: Um, well, not exactly evidence of his arrival in the bigtime, is it? The American Music Awards (produced by Dick Clark) will be on ABC, which--total guess here--probably had a hand in selecting the host. Ergo, Kimmel, whom ABC is very eager to promote...

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Minneapolis, Minn.: Hey, wow, relax man. Wow. Lot of coffee today?

I thought I was talking about male hair image... so is that chat on Wednesdays?

Paul Farhi: It's L.A. The freeways make me JUMPY. And you are the first to request we start a chat on Male Hair Image, but I'm sure there's a vast chatting public out there for it...

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Falls Church, Va.: Why is it so hard to listen to just a little Don and Mike. They are my favorite show but they make it almost impossible for normal working people to listen to them. First they, for some idiotic reason, start their show at 2:30 and end it at 7. Then, during the little bit of rush hour that they are on, they play so many freakin' commercials that they only talk for like 5 minutes at a time then break for 15 minutes. It's really frustrating because after I tune to another station I sometimes get drawn into that show and forget to check back in to JFK see if the commercials are over, and they are already back to the show talking again. THEN, they stopped playing them at night and put on some stupid irrelevant sports show.

When is there going to be a TiVO for radio?

Paul Farhi: Agreed. Their commercial breaks are maddeningly long. As soon as the commercial bumper plays, I'm hitting the presets as fast as I can. I know they'll have 7, 8, 12 minutes of spots that I'd rather not listen to.

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Washington, D.C.: Here's a question: why morning radio talk shows at all? If I want talk in the AM, there's NPR. If I want music, there's nothing, cause the usual channels are all INANE chatter.

I can't be the only one who feels this way!

Paul Farhi: You might not be alone, but I'm not with you. Radio and TV are in part about simple companionship. People like to feel that they are part of a community, if only an electronic one. Chat shows fill this need. People want to start their day, especially, with some kind of familiar connection--Katie and Matt, Howard Stern, and, yes, even good ol' Jack Diamond. Some news, some banter, a little something funny. Makes it easier to prepare for the day ahead.

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Repositioning Shows?: Hey Paul,

What are your predictions on the shows that are going to be changing creative directions next year? Specifically, West Wing and Practice?

I mean, Law&Order has been the only successful franchise that I know of that has changed its cast regularly and thrived.

Other shows, like ER, have ebbed and flowed when they lost cast and/or creative leaders.

Do you think we are looking at the end of West Wing and Practice?

Paul Farhi: I think "The Practice," which is replacing everyone due to rather complicated and somewhat boring economic reasons, is pretty much dead. "The West Wing" is still wait and see, but without Aaron Sorkin around, I think it's on life support, too. Wish I could say otherwise because both were outstanding shows, at various points...

...And on that cheerful note, I'm going back to Malibu. Catch your particular acts in two weeks, when I'll be once again taking a humidity bath in D.C. Regards to all...Paul.

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