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Catch Me If You Can

April 9, 1999

What's the best way to catch the beaver? You decide:

Send Al Gore out to the Tidal Basin in a pink sombrero, with instructions to "stand very still."
Use the Chinese approach. Give all tourists a beaver swatter and a quota.
Put the beaver in the Witness Protection Program. He’ll be found in no time.
Chop down the rest of the cherry trees so he has no place to hide. Oh, wait. . .
Get Wally to talk him in.
Get the FDA to issue a warning that beaver meat is a dangerously powerful aphrodisiac.
Wolves. Thousands of them.
Put the D.C. Department of Public Works in charge of keeping the beaver safe and free.
Tell Howard Milstein he can name his price if he catches the beaver. Then when he does, don’t pay him!
Ground troops.

-- By Gene Weingarten

      View results without voting

Illustration by Paul Compton. Animation by Giovanni Calabro.

© Copyright 1998 The Washington Post Company

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