Wrestling with questions of science and religion broadened Howard W. Roberts's views. (By Dayna Smith – The Washington Post)

By Howard W. Roberts
Saturday, September 12, 1998; Page B09

Although religious labels were not in vogue in the mid-'60s, my rigid, absolute attitude about religious matters made me a fundamentalist.

My unspoken motto was the cliche, "The Bible says it, I believe it, and that settles it." No further thought was necessary. When faced with some issue that the Bible didn't say anything about, I just ignored that topic and hoped I could forever avoid it. For me, belief and questioning were bitter enemies. The person who believed never raised questions. The one who raised questions obviously did not have enough faith.

In this context, my pastor told about a college student from our congregation. The student was taking biology and had said that if the professor asked an exam question about evolution, he would refuse to answer it. This, the pastor said in a sermon, was an example of stalwart faith.

The rhetoric frightened me, which was the intent. And the way I was being encouraged to deal with fear was to hide, to avoid anything that suggested a rethinking of faith issues. I was confused. Why go to college if what you study is to have no effect on what you think? I was further confused by those who encouraged me to go to college in one breath and in the next breath warned me, "Don't let those professors destroy your faith."

So, I was off to college to learn in every area except in the area of spirituality. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, especially in matters of faith, but I did not know that yet.

I enrolled in a survey course of Hebrew Scriptures. The professor presented things from the Bible I had never read. He pointed out the two creation stories in Genesis. I had never heard of the Gilgamesh Epic, a story from a culture different from the Hebrew culture that describes a flood similar to the flood story of Noah in the Bible.

I was being presented new information, and I had to decide how to process that information. Was I going to incorporate these ideas into my thinking or close my mind to them? I decided to consider them.

Thus began my wilderness wandering, leaving the home of religious certainty and venturing out into the unknown. Through that experience I began to know God. Slowly, the hard, rigid shell of secondhand religion fell away, and a metamorphic journey into consciously being a child of God began.

I wrestled with the ancient issue of science and religion. Eventually, I discovered that science and religion are complementary rather than contradictory. Each seeks answers to questions, but different questions. Science searches for answers to when and how. Religion seeks answers to who and why. As a result of this clarification, science has informed my faith perspective, and this has given me a greater appreciation for science.

Slowly, very slowly, I began to sense that life is a journey. Then, I began to see the Promised Land. In my literal, confined, rigid thinking of adolescence, the Promised Land was geographical. It never occurred to me to think metaphorically.

I began to discover that all those biblical stories were about relationship with God. The story of the Israelites wandering in the wilderness for 40 years was a tale about every person and every generation seeking and discovering the value of relating to God.

Out of this relationship, I discovered that God wants me to be the best human being I can be. As a result, I have spent a great deal of time exploring the life of Jesus and have discovered him to be a model of what it means to be an authentic human being created in the image of God. I began to see that what is really vital is relationship with God and with fellow human beings.

I began experiencing God's love as a compass, pointing me in the direction to live. My relationship with God liberated me from the rigidity of religious rule-keeping and the mean-spiritedness of fundamentalism, which rejects anyone else's opinion but its own. The hard shell of fear began to crack, and a liberating life of faith opened for me.

Although I consider myself to be liberal, liberal in my love and care for others, I'm not nearly liberal enough. There are times when my attitudes lead to actions of exclusion, such as shutting out those who continually abuse alcohol or turning away when an unkempt person approaches me on the street. When that happens, I'm not being liberal in love toward others as God has been liberal in love toward me.

Faith is about relating. It is not about believing. Carlyle Marney, a Southern Baptist preacher and mentor to a generation of pastors, was fond of saying, "Faith is a verb." Faith is not something to possess. Faith is an activity, a never-ending movement in response to an ever-seeking God.

I resonate with Marcus Borg, author of "Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time," who wrote, "My own journey has led beyond belief (and beyond doubt and disbelief) to an understanding of the Christian life as a relationship to the Spirit of God -- a relationship that involves one in a journey of transformation."

My journey has taken me from believing to relating, from legalism to grace, from closedness to openness. I have not arrived, but I'm on the way. I look forward to joining fellow travelers along the way.

A Kentucky native, Howard W. Roberts, 51, has lived in Georgia, Maryland, Alabama and Virginia and worked as a disc jockey, store clerk, mill worker and minister. He is married, the father of three grown children, and currently is pastor of Ravensworth Baptist Church in Annandale.