Steve Carpenter felt compelled to reconcile his faith and his career in the military. (By Sarah L. Voisin for The Washington Post)

By Steve Carpenter
Saturday, October 24, 1998; Page C09

As a cadet at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, I read with rapt interest a pamphlet, "May a Christian Serve in the Military?," by Gen. William Harrison. I had applied to just two colleges, Gordon College, a small Christian school north of Boston, and the Coast Guard Academy. If I had gone to Gordon, I probably would have become a pastor, but I chose the Coast Guard Academy.

I knew the Coast Guard was one of the United States' five military services and that Coastguardsmen were fighting in Vietnam. However, I was attracted to the Coast Guard's humanitarian missions. Late in my sophomore year, I was contemplating remaining at the academy, and thereby committing to five years of military service, or resigning and transferring to another college.

Harrison's essay, and the counsel of senior officers, convinced me that military service was consistent with my Christian faith. I stayed at the academy and, in 1977, embarked on a career as a Coast Guard officer. I became an expert with a rifle and pistol, learned self-defense, studied naval strategy and anti-submarine warfare and wrote military readiness plans.

Now, more than 20 years later, I have reconsidered my choice and its implications.

In 1980, I was attending a Bible study made up of Navy and Coast Guard officers and their families. After an evening of study and fellowship, a naval officer jokingly remarked, "It's hard to believe we're all trained killers." The truth and irony of his humor struck me.

If God's plan is for those who call Jesus "Lord" to be like him, can Christians continue to submit their intellect and energy to an institution whose primary purpose is to kill the soldiers and sailors of nations opposed to U.S. political interests?

Can a Christian, in good conscience, operate the missile silos that could release nuclear weapons on unsuspecting millions? My dramatic change of position was caused by a fresh reading of Scripture, a closer examination of Jesus's example, a better understanding of church history and a personal tragedy.

May a Christian serve in the military? Harrison's essay said yes, but the early Church didn't think so. There is no evidence of a single Christian soldier after New Testament times until about 170 AD.

As I studied the life and teaching of Jesus, it became clear to me that he taught pacifism. In the Sermon on the Mount, he declared, "Blessed are the peacemakers." He taught us to "turn the other cheek" and "love our enemies." Jesus not only taught nonresistance, he practiced it, even to the point of his own death.

My shift in thinking was also caused, in part, by a very personal loss. My 11-year-old daughter was killed in September 1995 by a driver operating a car under the influence of alcohol. I suffered the heart-rending pain of losing a child. I realized that my pain was multiplied millions of times during the ravages of war. This is senseless and preventable.

Today, I see Jesus's example of nonresistance as a spiritual discipline that I need to cultivate in my life, similar to other spiritual disciplines, like prayer and fasting.

I have come to understand that God no longer works exclusively through the nation of Israel, the theocratic nation of the Old Testament, but globally, transnationally and transculturally. The Christian Church includes people from every tribe and nation, even those nations the U.S. government may be fighting against, and as a Christian, my primary allegiance is not to the United States as a citizen, but to Jesus and his kingdom.

My pacifist understanding has been nurtured, and at times challenged, in my local inner-city church, Washington Community Fellowship. In a city like ours, fraught with crime and violence, it is difficult turning the other cheek.

There is an interesting story, told among the Quakers, about William Penn, founder of what is now the State of Pennsylvania. After William Penn joined the Society of Friends, commonly referred to as Quakers, he is said to have asked Quaker leader George Fox, "How long can I continue to wear my sword?" Fox replied, "Wear it as long as thee can, William."

I have chosen to follow the example of Fox, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesus, and I have put away my sword, rejecting the use of violence.

Steve Carpenter, 43, is a Mennonite and the administrator of a multi- denominational church on Capitol Hill. He retired last year from active duty in the Coast Guard.