Go to The Best of Bob Levey

Go to Bob Levey's Washington

Go to Washington World Section

Go to Home Page

The Ever-So-Many Surefire Ways to Get Rid of the Hiccups

"So what do you think about the Simpson case, Emily?" I asked my daughter over breakfast the other day.

"Hic!"

"You got the hiccups, hon?"

"You're a -- hic! -- genius, Dad. Did anyone ever -- hic! -- tell you that?"

I let the jab pass. This clearly called for all the folk wisdom a non-genius father could summon. Only trouble was, I couldn't summon any hiccup-destroying methods I could be sure would work.

So I asked the sufferer if she knew any surefire ways to stop her suffering. As soon as I asked the question -- maybe because I asked the question -- Emily's hiccups ceased. She was as surprised as I was.

Then she said, hey, funny thing, the subject had come up at school just a few days earlier. She said a friend had sworn on a stack of Seventeen magazines that all you have to do is fill a glass with water, arrange your lips over the far edge, then drink the water as you lean forward. "Trust me, it works," Emily said.

Trust me, it doesn't.

I had an attack of hiccups a few hours later, by coincidence. Remembering Emily's advice, I grabbed a much-used and seldom-rinsed coffee cup (columnists have dozens of these in their offices) and headed for the water fountain. When I tried to do what Emily suggested, I poured water all over my shirt. Worse, the hic-cing continued. A loser all around.

Yet you would be surprised how many people believe in this opposite-edge-of-the-glass theory. Similar confidence accompanies every other time-honored method of beating the hiccups. While my shirt dries, I thought I would publish a list of the most popular anti-hiccup methods, as collected by my pals in The Washington Post's News Research Center. I vouch for none of these, and laugh at all.

Chew a cube of sugar. This one was written up in the New England Journal of Medicine, no less.

Suck on a sprig of dill.

Have someone pinch your shoulders. One of many methods that depend on surprise and fright.

Tell the victim, "I'll give you $5 if you hiccup again, right now." An Internet guru from Santa Monica, Calif., swears by it.

Lie on your back on a bed, mouth open. Dangle your head over the edge. Breathe deeply and slowly.

Hold your breath. The oldest remedy of all and, for that reason, probably one of the most successful.

Drink a glass of water while someone presses your ears with the palms of the hands.

Stand on your head (but don't call to ask how to heal broken bones caused by standing on your head).

Hop on one foot (how this affects the diaphragm I can't imagine, but somebody on the Internet named Nikolai says it's never-miss).

For those who like full-body experiences: Plug your right ear with your right thumb. Jam your right index finger into your right nostril. Do the same on the left side. Then drink a glass of water through a straw.

Place a spoon in a glass of water. Let the upper end of it brush against your temple as you drink the water.

Gargle with water that's as cold as possible (some reports say this dates to the days of Plato).

Have someone hug you from behind -- hard. Tell them to let go suddenly and unexpectedly.

Swallow a tablespoon of cider vinegar.

Lick up a dab of peanut butter from a spoon.

The so-called bartender's cure: Eat a wedge of lemon that has been soaked in bitters. I figure it's the bartender's cure because you have to order three vodkas right away to kill the lemon-and-bitters taste.

Fold a paper towel in half. Place it over a full glass of water. Drink the water through the towel (from David Lefevre, an Internet poster).

Rub your earlobes, to the point of pain (Mike Kock).

Place a toothpick in a glass of water and look at the toothpick the entire time you drink (Marilyn Fay).

Push the first three fingers of your left hand firmly into the V of your right palm for about 20 seconds.

Here's one with major side benefits, from Internetter Enrique Garcia: Ask your beloved to kiss you very gently and softly around the neck.

Ask dumb questions, one after the other. The dumber the better. The distraction will do the trick, says Arizona Brooks.

Take five or six swigs of a carbonated drink, one after the other, without stopping or breathing in between (Michelle Gouldsberry).

Finally (and probably most plausibly of all), just will them away. As Stacey Anderson phrases it: "When I get the hiccups, I just go inside my head and think to myself, calmly, 'I don't want to have the hiccups anymore.' . . . Usually I only have to do this once."

Anyone have another method learned at Grandma's knee? Send it to Bob Levey, The Washington Post, Washington, D.C. 20071. My fax number is 202-334-5150. My e-mail address is leveyb@washpost.com