News Release from Webbforsenate.com
This news release was sent out Thursday, July 27, 2006.
Reproduced by Washingtonpost.com Friday, August 4, 2006
Date: Friday, July 28, 2006
Contact: Jeff Pyatt: 703-778-4080
jeffpyatt@webbforsenate.com
www.webbforsenate.com
Yee Ha!
Galloping George Has "No Time" to Sponsor The "Jim Webb GI Bill",
But Thank God He Found Time to Sponsor "American Cowboy Day!"
(Probably Somewhere Near the OK Corral) - Well listen up there missy! Galloping George Allen, has went and made a bill in that there Amerrycan Congriss! And we'll be darned tootin, if it ain't a legislatin aimed square at us cowpokes! Ya see, that crazy Counterfeit California Cowboy has saved the day for his fellow cowpunch drifters by Co-Sponsoring the National Day of the American Cowboy! YEE HA Pardner! We're bustin with so much pride our chaps are chaffing!
Seems this Counterfeit California Cowboy went and named Ju-lie 22nd as the big day so load your ivory handled six guns, strap on your Sunday spurs, and head to town for the most rootinin tootinin sell-ee-bray-shun we've seen in these parts since Wild Bill rode to town with Potato Creek Johnny and begun the gamblin' trade in these parts.
Course, there were a downside to Galloping George's cowpoke conversion.
Snap our chaps if Ole Cowpoke George didn't go and sponsor that there Cowpoke legislatin for the same day ole six gun George told that gunslinger white hatted Jim Webb at a dee-bate that he did not have no time to introduce a new GI Bill for American soldiers on the battlefield. Cause according to Deputy Sheriff Felix "Festis" Allen, that there Amerrycan Congress, "moves at the pace of a wounded sea slug" and there ain't no way in tarnation that a GI Bill could get on through that mesquite patch.
Well, we don't know what in tarnation a wounded sea slug is anyways, but we sure as shootin don't want to lose sight that wranglin George was able to lasso National Day of the American Cowboy through that there Senate quicker than a palomino pony posse can corral a black hatted bandit!
Now, we may has been born at night, but is sure as shootin wasn't born last night so even though Galloping George ain't no real cowboy, he plays one on the dusty campaign trail and that is good enough for us!
So to Gallopin George Felix Allen, a rowdy cowpoke six gun salute to you and next time you belly up to the bar for a shot of ole Red Eye, you tell Miss Kitty that one is on us! YEE HA!
(Too bad about them there soldiers and their GI Bill though…)
Paid for by James Webb for U.S. Senate