By William Claiborne
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, April 6, 1998; Page A04

PALM SPRINGS, Calif. – The rap against Mary Bono in her searingly personal campaign to replace the late Sonny Bono in Congress is that her last job independent of the popular singer-turned-politician was as a waitress. But with the widow's sympathy vote she enjoys, the critics say, who needs anything more to win a House seat in this star-studded desert enclave?

In the three months since Sonny Bono died in a skiing accident at Lake Tahoe, his 36-year-old widow has made a very public transformation from a grieving partner with no elective political experience and little work experience to front-runner among six candidates from both parties in Tuesday's special election for the sprawling 44th House District.

Even her opponents acknowledge that Bono, running as a bedrock Republican in what traditionally has been a safe GOP district, is likely to win more than half the votes and avoid a runoff, giving her the advantage of incumbency when she runs for a full term in November.

But Bono's meteoric political ascendancy has not been without a price – sometimes a painful one. She has endured public criticism for what is portrayed as a lack of qualifications and also for seeking office while raising two young and fatherless children.

Letters published in the local newspaper, the Desert Sun, have suggested that Bono's restaurant experience qualifies her to run the House of Representatives' cafeteria and that perhaps widows of Air Force pilots should now be put in the cockpit when their husbands die. Even Bono's only serious challenger in Tuesday's election, 69-year-old actor Ralph Waite, a Democrat, took off the gloves during an interview Wednesday after weeks of diplomatically avoiding making personal attacks on Bono.

"To be very blunt, if she weren't Sonny's widow, I don't think there's any way she'd be taken very seriously as a candidate," said Waite, who is best known for his role as Pa in the long-running television series "The Waltons."

"I think it trivializes the political process. It belittles the process to put someone in office because she's a widow. In herself, she doesn't seem to have much experience or even much knowledge of the issues," added Waite, who also has never held elective office but who in 1990 came within 5 percentage points of defeating Rep. Al McCandless (R) in the newly reapportioned district.

But Mary Bono has shown signs of exceeding the expectations of her critics. In that way, she is like her late husband, whose onstage persona was that of a naive, bumbling foil to the sophisticated wit of his then-wife, Cher, but who became an immensely popular congressman.

During campaign appearances and a candidates forum last week, Mary Bono displayed poise, political savvy and a comfortable familiarity with issues that seemed to belie her lack of experience, frequently out- debating Waite and the other contenders to their evident surprise.

A martial arts and fitness devotee who says she has been made inwardly stronger by her personal tragedy, Bono also displayed a toughness that she says has helped her endure the sometimes hurtful personal attacks.

"Since we've never been one-on-one on the issues, I suppose you could say it's sexist for him [Waite] to assume that because I'm a 36-year-old woman raising two children alone I don't know anything," Bono said in an interview over breakfast in this wealthy resort community, where streets all seem to be named after Hollywood celebrities. "But he's run for Congress before, and it's surprising to me that I understand the legislative process and government far better than he does."

Bono's hard-edged rebuttal dissolved momentarily when unexpectedly she heard the Sonny and Cher hit, "The Beat Goes On," filling the restaurant from its background music system. "I'm sorry, it's the first time I've heard it in public since he died," she said before quickly returning to the subject of her sympathy vote.

"There may be a sympathy factor, but sympathy comes from liking someone. Is he [Waite] disadvantaged because people like me, or liked Sonny?" she asked. "I feel blessed that people feel sympathy for me, and I'll never, ever regret people's cares and concerns for me and my family."

If she is elected Tuesday, Bono will be the second widow to win her husband's House seat in California this year. Democrat Lois Capps won a special election in Santa Barbara on March 10 to succeed her husband, Walter, who died last fall. And – as in the case of Capps, a former nurse who worked behind the scenes for her husband – a closer scrutiny of Bono's background shows that she has more to offer than appears on the surface, according to friends.

Bono said she was reluctant to talk about her role in her husband's political and business affairs when he was alive, fearing that to do so would somehow diminish him. But she says now that when she met Sonny Bono 14 years ago while out celebrating her college graduation, he had abandoned a foundering entertainment career and was running a financially troubled restaurant in West Hollywood. She said she reorganized the restaurant and it became successful.

"It's hard for me to talk about this at my husband's expense, but everything Sonny did was a creative thing, and my role was to be the nuts-and-bolts business person," Bono said. "We worked as a team, but I deliberately chose to stay out of view, and now they say I've never done anything."

After the couple moved here, Bono helped her husband open a new restaurant, managed his other business interests as vice president of Bono Enterprises, helped organize his winning campaign for Palm Springs mayor in 1988 and worked behind the scenes in his successful bid for a House seat in 1994.

Bono said that immediately after her husband's death, her only thoughts were "about getting my life in order" and caring for daughters Chesare, 9, and Chiana, 7. But when friends and family members suggested that she run for the vacant seat, she began to think of it as a way of continuing the excitement of political life she shared with her husband, for her own and her children's sake.

As a conservative Republican who shares her husband's positions on most issues – particularly the need for smaller and less intrusive government – Bono seemed tailor-made for a Republican Party intent on keeping the district and retaining its House majority in November. She has received help, both financially and by campaign appearances, from big-name Republicans, including House Speaker Newt Gingrich (Ga.), former presidential contenders Dan Quayle and Jack Kemp and former president Gerald R. Ford.

"Their purpose all along has been to create an atmosphere, based on public sympathy for Mary Bono, that there is no race here," Waite said. "Not only is she a widow, she's Sonny Bono's widow, a sweet unpretentious guy who everyone loved."

In Profile:

Mary Bono

Age: 36

Education: Bachelor's degree in art history, University of Southern California, 1984.

Family: Widowed, two daughters, 9 and 7.

Work history: Largely a stay-at-home mother. As vice president of Sonny Bono Enterprises, managed books for her husband's business interests. Worked with him on his restaurants and mayoral and House campaigns. Also was a waitress and grocery store employee.

Civic work: DARE anti-drug group, Palm Springs Film Festival, Girl Scouts.

Hobbies: Reading, martial arts and fitness.

On the issues: A Republican who favors smaller government. Active in Salton Sea reclamation project; favors abortion rights but opposes government funding of abortion; supports more local control over education; owns a gun but supports assault weapons ban.