Hyde's Panel, Getting Its Just Awards
Saturday, December 12, 1998; Page B03
They were derided from the start the most partisan committee on the Hill, a collection of lightweights (well, not Jerry Nadler, but still . . . )
Yet in the marathon sessions of the past weeks, we grew fond of the House Judiciary Committee. They reminded us of the relations we see each holiday season, and of why we flee them. As the impeachment process moves to a far more serious level in the full House, we bid farewell to our TV friends and leave them this gaggle of awards.
Smarmiest: Bob Inglis . . . who is leaving the House after this month and will have a worthy successor in his understudy in smarminess, Asa Hutchinson.
Best Scowl: Maxine Waters
Most Likely to Have His Taxes Audited: Princeton historian Sean Wilentz . . . who called committee Republicans "zealots and fanatics."
Jesse Ventura Envy: Howard Coble . . . who challenged a Princeton history professor to meet him in the parking lot.
American Institute of Architects Award for Hair: Sheila Jackson Lee
Best Accessorizing: Charles Schumer . . . for his half-specs.
Worst Suit: Elizabeth Holtzman . . . who testified in her day-glo '70s best.
Most Hair Gel: Robert Wexler
Veterans of Foreign Affairs: Henry Hyde and Barney Frank
The "X-Files" Wackiest Conspiracy Theory: Lindsey Graham . . . for his contention that the president was secretly siccing his attack dogs on Monica.
Best Trained Attack Dogs: Barney Frank and Bill McCollum
Best Untrainable Attack Dogs: Bob Barr and Maxine Waters
Most Want to Be Stranded on a Desert Island With: Lis Wiehl . . . the blond Democratic committee staffer, and . . . Mel Watt . . . the Giancarlo Esposito of Capitol Hill.
Most Annoying: 37-way tie
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