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The 1996 Maryland News Quiz
Wednesday, December 25, 1996; Page M01
A) She refused to sing "Happy Birthday" to customers.
B) She felt compelled to warn customers about the fat content of their flautas and enchiladas.
C) She insisted on using a phony Mexican accent.
A) The Ghermezians rejected his demand that it include all his favorite fast-food chains.
B) The Olympic-size wave pool rendered the entire mall a protected federal wetland.
C) The Ghermezians didn't come up with adequate financing.
D) The Ghermezians wanted a Blues Brothers-type nightclub in which they could perform their gritty, bluesy cover of "Oh, Canada!" while wearing dark business suits and fedoras.
A) Prominent state Democrats declared him a possible one-termer and met to discuss alternative candidates in 1998.
B) His administration mistakenly told more than 200 state employees they would be fired.
C) To help cut the volume of solid waste at landfills, he proposed a 95 percent tax on newspapers that fail to show him proper respect.
D) His teenage son, Raymond, was appointed to the Parole Commission, where he grilled parole candidates on their knowledge of Jerry Garcia trivia.
A) Jim Palmer slugged him after learning that Ripken would replace him as the Hanes underwear model.
B) Robin Ficker, trying to chant Ripken out of a midseason slump, knocked him cold with his Indian war club.
C) A player accidentally bumped into Ripken and broke Ripken's nose during an All-Star Game team photo.
D) He fell out of a hammock while filming a TV commercial for milk.
A) On a bender in Vegas with Charlie McCarthy.
B) Sitting unnoticed at the Baltimore Post Office.
C) Competently substituting for Vice President Gore.
A) The robber's pants fell down.
B) The robber heard the Macarena on the radio and stopped to do the moves.
C) Jack Kent Cooke happened to be driving by and insisted on giving the robber lessons on how to hold people up for money.
A) Require, under penalty of law, that everyone in the United States resume bowling together.
B) Give anyone who voted for him a coupon for a free video rental.
C) Pose naked in Playgirl magazine if radio shock jock Howard Stern would help him raise $1 million.
D) Never, while in office, pronounce the word nuclear as "nook-yu-ler."
A) Scenes for the golf comedy movie "Tin Cup" were filmed during the competition.
B) Players drank vodka that spouted from between the legs of an ice sculpture of a nude woman.
C) County Executive Duncan was hospitalized when he mistook a golf ball for a dumpling and swallowed it.
D) One of the players presumed Tiger Woods was a caddy and handed him his 9-iron.
A) Let him go because he was the brother of a high-ranking captain.
B) Lock him in the trunk of their cruiser and go for doughnuts.
C) Tie him to a utility pole in Silver Spring with a note saying "Montgomery County: I'm Wanted."
A) Running a car theft ring.
B) Breaking into an Annapolis woman's apartment.
C) Molesting an Annapolis toddler.
D) Using and selling LSD.
E) Sexually assaulting female classmates.
F) Killing a romantic rival back in Texas.
G) Cheating on an electrical engineering exam.
A) Insisted that the Washington Opera Board rename the hall "Betty's Place."
B) Was cited for 881 housing code violations at a low-rent Bethesda apartment complex she owns.
C) Told tenants at her low-rent Rockville apartment complex that she would evict them by New Year's Eve.
D) Got into a public shouting match with retired Gen. Colin L. Powell's wife, Alma, when both women showed up in the same Adolfo gown at an opera performance.
A) The wife of one of the officers involved would have had to testify in the trial.
B) In a report, one officer wrote that an awestruck masseuse "gasped" when he disrobed.
C) An officer wore a body wire in order to transmit the erotic sounds of his research to listening colleagues.
D) They learned that several enthusiastic officers had purchased an interest in the business.
A) Warning that some of their neighbors might be bigots.
B) Suggesting that vast tracts of the rural Montgomery community should be donated to the county so it could develop retail centers.
C) Contending that a leading challenger on the town commission was a puppet of the Rev. Sun Myung Moon.
D) Predicting that Poolesville could be the site of an Islamic terrorist attack.
A) He had a hankering for a decent bagel.
B) He wasn't told until minutes before the jetliner took off that the man was vying for state business.
C) His son, Raymond, was desperate to see the Broadway hit "Rent."
D) He needed the frequent-flier miles.
A) Building two bridges with six lanes each.
B) Building a tunnel from Springfield to Raljon.
C) Buying a dozen hovercraft to ferry traffic across the Potomac.
D) Moving the river.
A) Kindergarten celebrity storytime.
B) A high school filmmaking class about his favorite movies.
C) An eighth-grade awards ceremony.
D) A staff seminar on sexual harassment.
A) "I feel free and proud and grateful and delighted that the system still works."
B) "I'm going to Disneyland."
C) "We're already working on the sound effects to use in the next campaign whenever our opponent's name is mentioned. What do you think: a Bronx cheer? a snake's hiss?"
A) Donned kilts, grabbed sticks and showed up at practice.
B) Sued the Montgomery school system for $26. 9 million.
C) Persuaded Robin Williams and Nathan Lane, reprising their "Birdcage" roles, to appear with them in drag before the school board.
ANSWERS TO THE MARYLAND NEWS QUIZ
3. Both A and B. (Embarrassment was the leitmotif for the administration this year. The Parole Commission appointment went to the son of Sen. Thomas V. Mike Miller Jr., who, as far as we know, is not a Deadhead.) Go back to the question.
10. A trick question. All of the above happened last year, except G, which occurred in 1994. (Academy officials must be nostalgic for the days when cheating was midshipmen's worst offense.) Go back to the question.
12. A. (That was the reason given by the prosecutor, but we can't help thinking that B and C, which were alleged by the massage parlors' defense attorney, had something to do with it.) Go back to the question.
20. A. (As in Ralph and John, perfectly acceptable names that their father fused and then used as the name of a new town where his stadium is being built. Raljon was even entered into the U.S. Postal Service's national database of place names.) Go back to the question.
SCORING: 16-20 points, apply for the job of Washington Post Maryland editor. 8-15 points, apply for the job of Washington Post Maryland reporter. 0-7 points, you probably are a Washington Post reporter.
© Copyright 1996 The Washington Post Company