By Tony Kornheiser
Washington Post Columnist
Sunday, November 20, 1994

In Gay Talese's renowned Esquire magazine story about Joe DiMaggio, there is a scene in which DiMaggio's bride, Marilyn Monroe, is freshly back from entertaining our troops in South Korea. Exuberantly, she tells her new husband about the ovations she received: Everywhere she went there were thousands and thousands of soldiers watching her perform, and they cheered every little thing she did. "You should have been there, Joe," she says breathlessly, "you've never heard such cheering."

DiMaggio responds knowingly, "Yes, I have."

You should have heard it Saturday night for Chris Webber and Juwan Howard.

Even before they were introduced the sellout crowd of 18,756 rose, cheering. Howard was called first, and the roar that greeted him sounded like the starting of lawn mowers. But when Webber was brought on it gained in strength and power, like a choir of jackhammers. It set off all the bells and whistles on those applause meters, and for a second, as the people stood and cheered, it looked as if lights would explode, and sparks would shower down, like in "The Natural." There hadn't been a sound like that in this building since the championship year in 1978.

Having gone through a day of practice with the Bullets, Howard was prepared to play, and made his entrance with 4:21 to play in the first period -- unfortunately he got his first NBA shot blocked, by Dino Radja. Whether Webber would play was iffy. He'd flown all night from California, arriving in Washington at 8 a.m. By his own admission: "It hasn't been the best of days. I tried to get some sleep, but my brothers called, waking me up, and my mother called -- woke me up." So the decision whether to play was left up to Webber. "I'll play," he declared two hours before the game. And when somebody asked if he'd had time to learn the plays, Webber smiled and said, "Basketball players are basketball players. They haven't invented that many new plays."

Within two minutes after Howard went in, Webber went in -- and received another standing ovation. He was quickly puffing. But early in the second period he assisted on Howard's first NBA hoop, a 10-foot hook in the lane. A couple of minutes later Webber had his first basket as a Bullet on a silky reverse move underneath the basket, then ignited the crowd by swatting away Dominique Wilkins's shot, leading to a Don MacLean fast break jam. The spectators leaped up and screamed like they had all sat on needles. Barbra Streisand didn't elicit that sharp a sound, and her tickets cost $350.

Howard would finish with 10 points and 11 rebounds in 22 minutes, and Webber would finish with nine points and nine rebounds in 23 minutes. Though the Bullets lost in the final seconds, it's as plain as the nose on Gheorghe Muresan's face that Howard and Webber could make this a Fab Team. Howard wore jersey No. 5, as he did in college. But Webber's familiar No. 4 belongs to Scott Skiles here, and Webber was in No. 2. "Scott's a veteran, he deserves it," Webber explained, adding with a grin. "Of course if he wants to talk about selling it, we can talk."

Webber, who this week lost the battle for public relations in Golden State decisively to Don Nelson, said all the right things in his first appearance here. He promised to play whatever position the team needed him to play, and made a point of praising Tom Gugliotta as "a great player; my biggest job is just filling his shoes." He applauded the Bullets' effort so far this season, and committed himself "to be part of rebuilding the organization." When asked what assurance he could give Washington fans that he would stick around, Webber said: "When I came here I said the next team I play for is the team I want to play my entire career for. ... I want to be here, and that's enough for me to stay."

There are so many positive things the trade accomplishes. It clearly stamps Les Boulez as a playoff team; by the end of the season folks could mention the young Bullets in the same breath with the Denver Nuggets as an "on-the-runway" team. It makes The Incandescent Rex Chapman a bigger threat in "go-to" situations, for defenses will have to double-team Webber; similarly, the opposite-side presence of Webber -- regularly Webber and Howard at the same time -- should give MacLean a free shot almost every time up the court. It may influence the catalytic Skiles to stick around for more than this one lame-duck season. It gives a turbo-boost to plans to build a new downtown arena in D.C.

More than anything else, though, what this trade has done is put Washington back on the American sports map. We've been without baseball for 20 years. Our hockey team was written off because it perennially gasses in the playoffs. Our basketball team hasn't made the playoffs since the Reagan administration. And our football team, our last link to the big time, has fallen off a cliff. Washington may be first in war, and first in peace -- but it was lost on "SportsCenter." Now, thanks to the amazing grace of this trade, it's found.

Every move the Bullets made seems to have broken in their favor: They got Skiles for nothing. Essentially, they got Webber for Gugliotta; those three No. 1 draft choices shouldn't be that valuable if the Bullets become a consistent playoff team. (A word about Gugliotta: He's been regularly downgraded by a few writers in this city. He was the most valuable, most self-sacrificing Bullet from the day he signed, and he will play in some all-star games before he's done. That said, the opportunity to get a dominating player doesn't often come along, and Les Boulez had to seize it.) They signed Howard on their terms; his windy agent, David Falk, now appears like an obstructionist, as this money had been on the table for weeks. It's sad that after all the rancor of the negotiations, when Howard finally signed, he ended up having to share what should have been his triumphant moment. Howard was the Bullets' highest draft choice in 17 years, and his debut was obscured by Webber's presence.

The one aspect we might fret over is whether by coming here Webber will find the coach who'll please him. His coach at Michigan was overrun by the Fab Five. His coach at Golden State was autocratic, and Webber chafed and wanted out. Jimmy Lynam carries Charles Barkley's endorsement. Let's hope Lynam and Webber find fruitful common ground. "I'm willing to compete, and I'll listen to instruction," Webber said. "I can't stress it enough how happy I am to be here."

It's impossible to overstate the exhilaration the arrival of Webber and Howard bring to Les Boulez. Overnight Bullets clothing has become a hot item, and there has been an avalanche of ticket sales. For the first time in many years Bullets tickets are being scalped -- which makes me happy, since I have two seats in Section 107, and maybe I can turn enough of a profit to pay for the parking. You'll have to excuse me now, I think I see Jalen Rose in the Stars and Stripes lot looking for his friends.