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So much pizza is consumed at the ocean resorts that you could repave the boardwalks in cardboard. Or bad crust, perhaps. The smell -- pardon us, the aroma -- of melting cheese is so pervasive that sooner or later almost everybody succumbs, and all too often settles for something not much more flavorful than the aforementioned boxes. So, in the interest of making your one big splurge -- or your nightly ritual -- more enjoyable, we have, at great personal sacrifice, test-eaten an absolutely painful number of pizzas from Ocean City to Rehoboth and selected a few of particular merit. We are limiting the search here to lowest-common denominator, plain cheese or maybe mushroom, stuff that nearly everybody will accept, but with a minimum of separated-cheese grease and absolutely no semi-raw dough. These plain-recipe restrictions unfortunately eliminate the honey-wheat crust pies at Pizza by Elizabeths (23 Baltimore Ave.; 302/226-2444) and the wood-smoked pizza at Dogfish Head brewpub (320 Rehoboth Ave.; 302/226-2739), which steals a little of its own pre-fermented ale for the dough, both of which would otherwise rank high. In Rehoboth, in a close contest, the award goes to Louie's Pizza (11 Rehoboth Ave.; 302/227-6002), which uses a gracious plenty of fresh mushrooms and keeps late hours; although we can't help but imagine that if the body of the pizza at Louie's could be merged with the crust at Nicola Pizza around the corner (8 N. First St.; 302/227-6211), it might be perfect. The brick-oven pizza at Mancini's in Fenwick Island (907 Coastal Highway; 302/537-4224) would be first-rate, and impressively fast -- four minutes from order to carryout -- except that the cumulative salt content is like taking a header over the stern. Just down the road at Ocean Side Sub Shop (Coastal Highway at Virginia Avenue; 302/539-5388 or 410/250-2695), however, the quite delicate thin-crust pizza is very good, although it should be eaten hot; it's one of those toasty things that seems to wilt and turn a little bitter later. But the overall winner for dependable, middle-of-the-road classic pizza is a Rockville-to-Ocean City transplant: Three Brothers, in the Gold Coast Mall at 114th Street and Coastal Highway (410/723-5188). Now if they'd just give up those bottled mushrooms ... If the phrase "steak at the beach" brings to mind something like rubber tread, rejoice: There is real beef to be had, dry-aged, crusted in salt, pepper, garlic and parsley and cooked precisely to order, at 1776 Steakhouse in the Midway Shopping Center at the north end of Rehoboth (Route 1; 302/644-4776). It's the sort of steakhouse your parents loved: The wine list is surprisingly clever, the service polished and the dress code as relaxed as the usual beach eatery. But bring your credit card: What puts the old "New York" back into the New York strip is the price, something along the lines of $2 an ounce. We all know about salt air enhancing the appetite, and how the scent of woodsmoke and dripping fat tends to make the mouth water whether you mean it to or not -- which is one reason barbecued ribs are so popular at the resorts. (The other is that along the escape route you pass all those nice pits smoking away, and if you weren't in such a hurry to get to the shore you'd stop and stock up, and that craving settles in for the weekend.) Well, you don't have to settle for mass-produced meat at the beach any longer. Smoker's BBQ Pit, on Route 611 a half-mile east of Route 50 in West Ocean City, is the best barbecue this side of Memphis: dry-rubbed, long and slow-smoked out back of the trailer until the beef brisket and pulled pork turn to butter; and the ribs -- both St. Louis-style and baby backs, with that tint of pink in the meat that proves the long smoking -- brush aside the question of sauce as irrelevant (although the side sauce provided is pretty good). The North Carolina-style pork is absolutely first-rate, and there's even pit turkey for semi-carnivores. The macaroni salad, garlic green beans, potato salad and so on are all homemade, and there are sandwiches based on the smoked chicken, such as the "cordon bleu" with ham, Swiss and dijon sauce or a smoked breast plus BLT, that could start a carryout revolution. What else is great about it? Well, half-racks or ribs are nominally $7.95 and whole racks are $13.95, but if a short rack looks to be a bit short, the price is adjusted to fit. And if you're throwing a house party, they'll bring the mobile cooker to you (open daily 11-8; 410/213-0040).
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