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The sum of its parts is low indeed. Saltwater taffy, for example, does not taste good. Seagulls are not pleasant birds. Most people look better in clothes -- a lot of clothes. But it works. The beach is the ultimate triumph of setting. Despite the smells, sounds and textures of the shore, the most pervasive characteristic of the beach is its pleasantly diminished expectations. You need not do much of anything at all -- except, perhaps, wander occasionally into the surf, bob for a few minutes and lumber back to your towel to apply more SPF 45. (And it's not just the rules of industry that are suspended, so are the rules of good taste. Why else would so many otherwise normal people buy boardwalk T-shirts that say things like "I'm lifting weights, 12 oz. at a time"?) There is a Zen-like balance and tranquillity to it all. Beach reading is light; beach food is heavy. For every glimpse of a stranger's scorched paunch, there's another of blue skies streaked with an occasional cirrus cloud. There are no decisions, except whether to lie on your stomach or your back. There are no worries, except getting saltwater on your Cosmopolitan magazine or sand in your onion dip. If only real life were like this. It is, of course. But only at the beach. Heading to the beach this summer? Here are the major routes to the shore:
Lewes -- From the Capital Beltway, take U.S. 50 east across the Bay Bridge. At the Route 404 intersection, turn left and continue on 404 to Georgetown, where you switch to Route 9. That road leads straight into Lewes. Distance: 120 miles.
Rehoboth Beach/Dewey Beach -- From the Capital Beltway, take U.S. 50 east across the Bay Bridge. At the Route 404 intersection, turn left and continue on 404 to Georgetown, where you switch to Route 9. Follow Route 9 east to Route 1, turn right (south) and drive to the Route 1A turnoff to downtown Rehoboth Beach. For Dewey Beach, continue south on Route 1 to the resort. Distance: 125 miles.
Bethany Beach -- From the Capital Beltway, take U.S. 50 east across the Bay Bridge. At the Route 404 intersection, turn left and continue on 404 to Georgetown, where you switch to Route 9. Continue east on Route 9 to Route 1, turn south and drive 16 miles to Bethany Beach. If you want to avoid traffic (and the outlet shops), take U.S. 50 east to Route 404, and 404 to Georgetown, where you then take U.S. 113 south to Route 20. Turn left there and left again on Route 26, which leads you directly to the resort. Distance: 135 miles.
Fenwick Island -- Take U.S. 50 east to Route 404, and 404 to Georgetown, where you then take U.S. 113 south to the turnoff for Route 54. Turn left and head straight to the beach resort. Distance: 142 miles.
Ocean City -- Two options: For streets higher than 30th Street, take U.S. 50 east to the Route 90 Bypass (about 20 miles east of Salisbury). For streets numbered lower than 30th and downtown Ocean City, continue on U.S. 50 directly into the resort. Distance: 150 miles.
Assateague -- Take U.S. 50 almost to Ocean City. Two miles before the beach resort, turn south on Route 611, which leads straight into the national and state park areas. Distance: 165 miles.
Chincoteague -- Take U.S. 50 east from the Beltway to Salisbury, turn right on U.S. 13. Eight miles south of Pocomoke City, turn left on Route 175, which heads into Chincoteague. The Chincoteague National Wildlife Refuge on Assateague Island can be reached by turning left on Main Street and right on Maddox Boulevard, which leads to the refuge and the island. Distance: 175 miles. More than 300 ships are known to have sunk in the Chesapeake Bay or Atlantic Ocean between Cape May and Ocean City (at least one of them carrying the ponies that now run wild on Assateague), and after centuries of slow decay, they have begun returning their purloined goods to the shore. Visitors to the Discover-Sea Shipwreck Museum in Fenwick Island, the Life-Saving Station Museum at the top of the Ocean City boardwalk or the "H.M.S. DeBraak" exhibit at the Zwaanendael Museum in Lewes may well start to wonder whether they might not stumble upon a treasure of their own; and marine archaeologist Bill Winkler's classes on shipwreck artifacts may be the place to start. Winkler begins his three-hour course at the TreasureQuest Shoppe, a couple of miles west of Route 1 on Route 26 (Garfield Parkway in Bethany). He begins with a lecture on how to spot ships' beams and nails, pottery and bottle fragments, rigging, coins or personal accessories and then leads his class to one of the state beach parks nearby for a little field research. But Winkler's classes are not for souvenir-hunters: No metal detectors or shovels allowed. The class works only on the sand from the waterline to the dunes' edge; and participants must sign a pledge to turn over any found items to Winkler to be identified and recorded. Winkler, who once worked for famed treasure-seeker Mel Fisher and helped found the Delaware Marine Archaeological Society, is teaching visitors to conserve these objects and to contribute them to the growing archaeological record of the region. Classes are $20 for adults and $5 for ages 15 and under; for information call 302/537-5334. Washingtonians who get hooked on shipwrecks may also want to stop on the way to or from the beach at the campus of Delaware Technical & Community College on Route 18 in Georgetown, where the "Treasures of the Sea" exhibit focuses on the shipwreck of Nuestra Senora de Atocha, which was carrying millions of dollars in silver ingots, gold coins and chains back to King Philip IV of Spain when it foundered in 1622. For more information call 302/856-5700. (Stop by a Delaware visitors center and you may find half-price coupons.)
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