Style
Navigation Bar
Navigation Bar

    Navigator
        Archive
  The Navigator: Getting Cereals
By Linton Weeks
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, July 9, 1998




   
(From Kellogg's Web site)

Nighttime consumption of cereal has risen 30 percent over the past decade, reports a recent WomanTrends newsletter. It's the perfect food—quick, tasty and sort of healthy—for an ever-busier America. To take advantage of our flaky fascination, lots of cereal companies have official sites on the Internet.

Standing on the Kellogg's opening page, of course, is Tony the Tiger. Oh grrrreat. He invites you into his home in Cereal City, USA. (And you thought he lived in Battle Creek.) As an online community, Cereal City won't exactly bowl you over. It's as silly and soulless as, well, as Frosted Flakes. This conflicted site doesn't know if it's for professionals or preschoolers. For the grown-ups, there's a "newspaper" trumpeting Kellogg's intentions "to challenge the notion of the 'ideal' woman so that women everywhere can accept the bodies they have." However, if you click onto the souvenir clothing—the ladies golf shirt and Snap! Crackle! Pop! pullover—sold in the Kellogg's store, you'll discover the usual slim and attractive humannequins.

There's also a cookbook. But try as he might to be nutritionally correct, Tony just can't change his stripes. This is drive-thru cuisine. Here's a meal concocted from the site's offerings: Sweet potato stick appetizers wrapped in Rice Krispies, corn flake enchiladas, zucchini carrot bars made with Raisin Bran and for dessert, cherry almond cookies made from low-fat granola.

For kids, there's a Clubhouse where they can play games and send e-cards to friends. In a section called Nutrition Camp, they can ask the Kellogg rooster, Cornelius, about proteins and carbohydrates. Asked if pre-sweetened breakfast cereals contain too much sugar, the wise bird essentially crows, Heavens no! He doesn't say a word about teeth falling out.

The Quaker Oats site is a little easier to digest. The company toots its own horn in Live Well, Be Well, an online monthly magazine. The July issue shoots down nine myths about women's health, including this one: "Women should be more concerned about breast cancer than heart disease." According to the site, "a woman is eight times more likely to die of cardiovascular disease than of breast cancer.

"Other cereal companies such as General Mills (Cheerios) and Kraft Foods, which makes Nabisco Shredded Wheat and Post Grape-Nuts, have uninspired sites. But true cereal worshippers have created homages to their favorite brands. The Lucky Charms Test, for instance, draws risque parallels between your love life and your preference of marshmallow shapes—pink hearts, orange stars, etc.

Then there are the cereal killers. They have feelings, too. They hate the cold stuff.

At one site You Can Peek Into the Mind of a Cereal Killer. That would be Jay Russell who works in a pet store in Springfield, Mo. "I find cereal to be a waste of time," Russell wrote in an e-mail. He's also concerned about "all the negative things our children can learn from cereal commercials—like Fruity Pebbles," which teaches "if you want something the only way you can get it is to lie, cheat or steal. Now does our society really need people like that?" And Russell's morning choice? Little Debbie Nutty Bars.

Linton Weeks can be reached at weeksl@washpost.com

mouse CLICK: Leif Home Page Whoever decreed that "you can't take it with you" hasn't heard of View.logy, a contraption that turns the common tombstone into a multimedia home movie for only $4,995. With the capacity to assault any passerby with 250 digitized screens of home slides, deep thoughts and bad poetry, it virtually guarantees that your life experience will be passed on to future generations (of squirrels). – Dan Pacheco

Have a Mooooving Experience...
Ever wind up collecting something because you were given one and then another, and suddenly everyone assumed you really wanted to collect those things and started supplying you with them? This happened to Marie Javins when she first started working at Marvel Comics. Because she was from a cow-country school in Ohio (Antioch), a comic book artist gave her a cartoon of a cow. She politely posted it on her office wall, and before she knew it, other artists were penning cows for her and presenting them as gifts. Not one to waste the gift of art, Marie posted them on the Web. The site soon earned recognition on comic-related Web sites. If you are a fan of cows or comics, check out the 30 pictures (AOL members only) and the amusing guest book. – Linda Javins

You Could Get Hooked on This One
When Leif Ryd of Goteborg University in Sweden calls his site "All Things Fish," he is not engaging in idle hyperbole. It includes a surprising number of links to bands with "Fish" in their name, or musicians whose nicknames are "Fish" or fish-related, a lot of general fish stuff, and many, many pictures of, yes, fish. "So what's this fish complex then?" Leif asks himself, as he well knows the question is on the minds of anyone who finds his site. "Well that's what I've been called for several years now and it really gets to your brain in the end. So on this page I'm going to push this fish thing to the edge, over it and find out what's beyond." – Dave Nuttycombe


Found something intriguing, improbable, insane or especially useful on the Net? Write it up and send it to Joel Garreau or Robert Thomason.
   
© Copyright 1998 The Washington Post Company

Back to the top
Navigation Bar
Navigation Bar