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'Mr. Rhodes'

Tom Rhodes the long-haired comic plays Tom Rhodes the long-haired teacher in "Mr. Rhodes," a weak and wobbly new NBC sitcom premiering tonight at 8:30 on Channel 4.

Like virtually every teacher in sitcom land, Mr. Rhodes has Unorthodox Methods. And yes, that makes the prep school's stuffy old headmaster grumpy. But the kids love Rhodes because he says witty, liberating things like, of the novel "Silas Marner": "Silas -- no offense, man, but you suck."

Isn't that just what the kids of America need to hear?

The sitcom is morally irresponsible as well as stringently humorless. More teachers should be like Rhodes, it seems to say, and keep their classes in stitches, entertaining them with stand-up comedy routines. Knowledge should not be imparted unless it can be sneaked in between punch lines.

Teachers really ought to complain about a show as proudly cretinous as this one.

Rhodes did a mildly funny cable comedy special last year in which he toured Vietnam. That really doesn't seem like enough to earn him his own sitcom, and his delivery on the premiere is diffident and wan. He's out of his depth even in the dismally shallow waters of "Mr. Rhodes."