Cheating on your expense account.
Undressing someone with your eyes.
Marrying for money.
Relieving a wedgie.
First runner-up gets the tacky but estimable Style Invitational Loser Pen. Other runners-up receive the coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable Mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper sticker. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week 280, c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071; fax them to 202-334-4312; or submit them via Internet to this address: firstname.lastname@example.org. Internet users: Please indicate the week number in the "subject" field. Also, please do not append "attachments," which tend not to be read. Entries must be received on or before Monday, Aug. 3. Important: Please include your postal address and phone number. Winners will be announced three weeks from today. Editors reserve the right to alter entries for taste, humor or appropriateness. No purchase necessary. Today's Cry No One Hears was written by Brian Broadus of Charlottesville. Employees of The Washington Post and members of their immediate families are not eligible for prizes.
Report from Week 277,
And the winner of the rug depicting the moon landing:
A young woman trying to excel in a traditionally male leadership position is persecuted, then fired. -- "Saint Joan"
William Shakespeare's 17th-century interpretation of Leonardo DiCaprio's work of the same name. -- "Romeo and Juliet"
A group of men struggle to help each other overcome an erectile problem. -- "The Bridge on the River Kwai"
Size does matter! -- "Moby Dick," "Gulliver's Travels," "Cyrano De Bergerac," "Little Women," "Lysistrata"
With a lot of money on the line, a crook persuades a famous fighter to take a dive. -- "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"
A time traveler rescues an impoverished family. -- "A Christmas Carol"
A dozen men, trapped together, with murder on their minds. Who will survive? -- "Twelve Angry Men"
Black-robed serial killer plays with his victims first. -- "The Seventh Seal"
Food! Booze! Sex! -- "The Rubaiyat"
A woman is swept off her feet by a tall, dark stranger. -- "King Kong"
Powerful political leader ignores his Psychic Friend's advice at his own peril. -- "Julius Caesar"
An innocent young man spends his life on the run from a one-armed man. -- "Peter Pan"
While their husbands are off fighting World War II, sexy, athletic young women perform for men who keep them in diamonds. -- "A League of Their Own"
Crowds gather to watch rival gangs of bat-wielding women. -- "A League of Their Own"
A city is consumed in a huge fire. A woman vomits. -- "Gone With the Wind"
An aristocratic beauty spends most of this story on her back on a multitude of mattresses before she is completely satisfied. -- "The Princess and the Pea"
A show about nothing. -- "Waiting for Godot"
A mystery involving a lost high school senior. -- "Where's Waldo?"
A young immigrant's tale of success with the aid of his extended family. -- "The Godfather: Part II"
Trojans. Women. Need we say more? -- "The Trojan Women"
O.J. Simpson gets thrown down stairs, folded in two, and tortured in several other ways. -- "Naked Gun"
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