Noir Games By Rita Kempley Washington Post Staff Writer Friday, April 16, 1999

Patricia Arquette plays a femme fatale in the tres banal "Goodbye Lover." (Warner Bros.) Director: Roland Joffe Cast: Patricia Arquette; Don Johnson; Dermot Mulroney; Mary-Louise Parker; Ellen DeGeneres; Vincent Gallo Running Time: 1 hour, 44 minutes Sexuality, profanity and comic-book violence

Noir in spirit, if not in execution, this kicky look at '90s mores, or the lack thereof, gleams like a buff California blond. The shadows linger in the cleverly plotted screenplay by Arizona playwright Ron Peer and "Toy Story" writers Joel Cohen and Alec Sokolow.

The characters, all schemers with shifting loyalties, are driven by lust, greed and power. Admittedly, there's nothing new in that. Still none of them quite fit classic film noir stereotypes and none, alas, is especially likable. Products of the consumer-driven decades, they may lack for nothing, but they can't help wanting more and more.

Arquette, all legs and lips as the film's femme fatale Sandra Dunmore, is only distantly related to the enigmatic vamp who vanishes in the night, her smoldering lipstick-stained cigarette butt the only proof she ever existed in the first place. Sandra doesn't smoke, drink like a man or slink about swathed in mystery. For the most part, she isn't swathed in much of anything but packaged to show off her gams and her taut little body.

She believes in the teachings of God, Martha Stewart and sundry self-help gurus. Her chief role model, however, is the unspeakably spunky Maria von Trapp of "The Sound of Music." And Sandra, a super-successful real estate agent, wouldn't think of going on a call without the sappy soundtrack, its bright tunes an ironic counterpoint to the dastardly doings herein.

The story really gets rolling with a blast of Bach from the organ loft, where Sandra is playing the organist, Ben Dunmore (Don Johnson). Though accompanied by stifled moans, satisfied grunts and rocking motions, neither Ben nor Sandra breaks a sweat. It just wouldn't look nice and everybody is so preoccupied with appearances these days, a notion director Roland Joffe illustrates with an excess of mirrors and other reflective surfaces.

"Image is everything," says Ben, a public relations honcho who turns out to be the older brother of Sandra's broody husband, Jake (Mulroney). Recently returned from Camp Betty Ford, Jake goes back to work at Ben's high-profile firm. Only now that he's sober, he just can't seem to psych himself up over the firm's newest client (Barry Newman): yet another unzipped politician with presidential ambitions.

This subplot surely struck the filmmakers as positively audacious when the film was completed prior to Zippergate a couple of years back. The same goes for the picture's amoral protagonists and withering tone, exemplified by the quivering, doelike Peggy Blaine (Mary-Louise Parker), an insecure young publicist with a crush on Ben.

When Peggy finally manages to catch Ben's eye, it's at a gala benefit for breast cancer research. Among the most prominent patrons is the wayward politician, loyal wife in tow. It seems he's long been interested in women's health issues. Is it any wonder people are so cynical?

Not if you ask the LAPD's Rita Pompano (Ellen DeGeneres), a savvy, seen-it-all detective charged with sorting out who did what to whom while saddled with her new partner (Ray McKinnon), an idealistic Mormon who makes a terrific foil for the jaded Pompano. DeGeneres, her comic delivery every bit as deadpan as "Dragnet's" Joe Friday, is as welcome as McKinnon's endearingly oblivious bumpkin.

Unfortunately, neither lawperson does for "Goodbye Lover" what Sheriff Marge Gunderson did for the Coen brothers' "Fargo," a darker, more malicious comic whodunit by far. Gunderson may have seen her share of evil, yet she never gave up on all of humankind. Like the filmmakers, Pompano was beyond caring anymore.

Joffe, who directed "The Killing Fields," "The Mission" and "City of Hope," brings style and an unusual perspective to the project, though he is clearly not comfortable with its comic indifference and callous characters. His best work, even his disastrous adaptation of "The Scarlet Letter," focuses on heroic characters of enormous integrity and courage. It's hard to believe he'd find anything funny about "Goodbye Lover," which would have benefited from a lighter hand and a more timely release. The time for poisonous pulp and political miscreants is past. The polls are in: "Patch Adams" for president.