'Star Trek: Insurrection': Phasers Set on Young By Rita Kempley Washington Post Staff Writer Friday, December 11, 1998

Patrick Stewart is Capt. Picard in the latest "Star Trek" feature. (Paramount) Director: Jonathan Frakes Cast: Patrick Stewart; Jonathan Frakes; Brent Spiner; LeVar Burton; Michael Dorn; Gates McFadden; Marina Sirtis; F. Murray Abraham; Donna Murphy; Anthony Zerbe Running Time: 1 hour, 43 minutes Sci-fi violence, mild language and chaste love scenes

Though most of them are more than 300 years old, the planet's 600 residents, the Ba'ku, remain blissful as surfers, fresh-faced and primarily blond. A Zenlike state prevails among these peaceful people, who live in harmony with nature, growing free-range cabbages and beating the dirty laundry on rocks.

"Insurrection," the funniest, most character-driven of the Next Generation's three big-screen treks, chronicles the struggle between these youthful Luddites and the Son'a, a technologically savvy race of saggy oldsters intent upon ousting the Ba'ku from their utopia and making it their own.

When the Enterprise warps to the rescue, the crew discovers that the Federation elite is in on a scheme to kidnap the 600 Ba'ku and move them to another planet. Why not harness the Ba'ku magic for an interplanetary fat farm, reasons Starfleet Adm. Dougherty (Anthony Zerbe), who orders Picard (classy, confident Patrick Stewart) to return to base. But the captain and his officers answer to a higher authority – screenwriter Michael Piller – and thus, mutiny against Dougherty's corrupt administration to save the Ba'ku's world and way of life.

Picard and crew aren't quite old enough to trade in their phasers for Clappers. But they take advantage of the salutary effects of the local climate. Geordi (LeVar Burton) regains his sight, Dr. Crusher (Gates McFadden) and counselor Troi (Marina Sirtis) their girlish figures and Riker (Jonathan Frakes, who also directs) his libido.

As he undergoes puberty again, Worf (Michael Dorn) grows a flaming red zit the size of a Tribble on the tip of his nose. ("Boy, you Klingons never do anything small, do you?" cracks Riker.) Picard feels his sap rising, but he remains as bald as an android's fanny. Given the premise, he ought to have grown a thatch to match Fabio's.

Not that science ever really counts for much in the "Star Trek" franchise, which has emphasized metaphor and message from its outset. The stories provide us with a mythology for our times and offer what amounts to a religious experience for the franchise's most devout followers.

No self-respecting "Star Trek" saga would dare sally into hyper-space without a moral payload, but "Insurrection" is not traveling in deep philosophical space. Though Picard likens the plight of the Ba'ku to such historical evils as slavery and the Holocaust, the movie really springs from the fears and fantasies of the baby boomers.

But the Son'a, in fact, are spiritual kin of boomers, a crabby people who never go into orbit without their plastic surgeons. Ru'afo (wry F. Murray Abraham), the leader of these grumpy old men, is so obsessed with maintaining taut skin that he has daily touch-ups. Though he wants what the Ba'ku have, he seems more like a geezer waving his cane than a dangerously evil warlord. He doesn't want youth and beauty. He just wants those kids to get out of his yard.

As with most Trek sagas, this movie reunites us with characters who are old friends and gives us an imaginative – if campy – story in which all possibilities are invariably realized. And as you walk from the theater to your car, you find yourself thinking, if only for a few seconds, that if Klingons can tolerate Cardasians and Ferengies, perhaps there's hope for Serbs and Croats.