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'Love Stinks'

By Desson Howe
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, September 10, 1999

  Movie Critic


'Love Stinks'
Bridgette Wilson (left) manipulates French Stewart (right) into marrying her in "Love Stinks." (Independent Artists)

Director:
Jeff Franklin
Cast:
French Stewart;
Tyra Banks;
Bridgette Wilson;
Bill Bellamy;
Jason Bateman
Running Time:
1 hour, 33 minutes
R
Contains explicit obscenities and sexual scenes
They called it right: this movie reeks, stinks, smells and destroys life as we know it with one olfactory destructive blast. Now, in all fairness, this movie could have been funny if 1) the script was entirely different and 2) the lead performers and writer-director Jeff Franklin (creator of TV's "Full House") were replaced.

But nooooooo, we get a pathetic Woman-From-Venus-Men- From-Mars caper, in which a television scriptwriter, Seth (French Stewart, the wizened star of TV's "3rd Rock From the Sun"), gets trapped in a fast-moving relationship with Chelsea (Bridgette Wilson), a k a the bride from hell.

Despite the warnings of his colleagues, Seth stays involved with a woman who's so desperate to get married, she blackmails him into saying he loves her, then manipulates him into buying an engagment ring and then the ultimate rock of commitment. This embarrassment of a movie emits the giveaway odor of someone's you-had-to-be-there real-life experience. And the lead casting is bizarre. I kept waiting for a real twisteroo involving Seth's real sexual preference – given Stewart's obvious facial makeup, his fear of commitment to the female gender and his nasal, effeminate delivery. But no. Eventually, after reeling between limp punchline and tired misogyny, the movie finally slumps dead to the ground. But you might want to hold your nose until they ship that corpse to the Blockbuster morgue.

   
© Copyright 1999 The Washington Post Company

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