ComPost: Congress

Posted at 04:38 PM ET, 01/06/2011

Why the Constitution Congress read was just fine

Today the Congress reached a new three-fifths compromise: they only read three-fifths of the Constitution! Well, sort of. If you consider the Constitution to be the whole body of governing text that has accumulated and been discarded by the American...

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:38 PM ET, 01/06/2011 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 01:18 PM ET, 12/16/2010

Harry Reid: The Grinch Who Stole the War on Christmas?

The Who's Whos down in Congress Liked Christmas a lot But Senator Reid (D-Nevada) Did not. Sen. Reid hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason It could be his...

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:18 PM ET, 12/16/2010 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 08:10 PM ET, 11/02/2010

Live! Congratulations and condolence cards for tonight's winners and losers

Update 1:13 AM: But wait, there's more! Lots more! Words aren't enough for tonight's election results? Say "I'm sorry for your loss" or "Well done!" with an image drawn in MS Paint with minimal skill! Congratulations! For Rand Paul (R),...

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:10 PM ET, 11/02/2010 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 05:29 PM ET, 10/12/2010

Judge orders stay on enforcing don't ask, don't tell

You know what this don't ask don't tell ruling means! It's asking time! This has got to be one of the most awkward windows of permissiveness ever created. Unlike marrying (it's easy to un-marry; look at 50 percent of...

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:29 PM ET, 10/12/2010 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 02:59 PM ET, 09/24/2010

Stephen Colbert testimony: a mockery, but of whom?

This brings us to today's word. The word describes everyone who says that Stephen Colbert crossed a line by testifying before Congress, everyone who refused to snicker during his testimony, and everyone who is now running around insisting that...

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:59 PM ET, 09/24/2010 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)