You've struggled through all the IRS forms and booklets and schedules. You've read every last word of the preceding 24 pages. Seventh-grade math was a maze to you, and your favorite accountant is basking in the Florida sunshine, incommunicado. You can't do your taxes alone! Help!

Help--free help--is just a phone call away. Uncle Sam maintains for you some taxpayer assistance telephone lines, over which an IRS agent will answer your questions:

In the District and Maryland suburbs: 488-3100.

In Northern Virginia: 557-9230.

In addition, the IRS sponsors the Volunteer Income Tax Assistance program, which provides free help to lower income, elderly, non-English speaking and taxpayers with special needs. Volunteers at various community locations will prepare basic federal tax returns: 1040, 1040A, 1040EZ.

To find out about such assistance if you live in Virginia or Maryland, call the IRS at 1-800-424-1040 and ask for the location of the VITA office nearest you. If you live in the District, call the IRS at 488-3100 and ask for the taxpayer education coordinator, who will direct you to the nearest VITA office.

And finally, taxpayer assistance has gone electronic. You don't even need to talk to a person, you can listen to a tape recording that you reach by push-button telephone. This service, called Tele-Tax, provides information on about 140 federal tax-related topics, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

The numbers to call Tele-Tax are:

District: 628-2929.

Maryland suburbs: 628-2929.

Rest of Maryland (Baltimore): 301-244-7306.

Northern Virginia: 703-557-0034.

Norfolk: 804-441-3623.

Richmond: 804-771-2369.

When you dial one of these numbers, you will hear a recording giving you instructions on the use of Tele-Tax. Be sure you have pen and paper to take notes. You will be instructed to punch in a three-digit code to select the tape you want to hear. To get a directory of tapes available, punch in 323, or for a Spanish list, 422.

Below is a list of those available tapes and their numbers. You'll note that the first batch of numbers concerns taxpayer assistance. IRS Procedures and Services 111--IRS help available; volunteer tax assistance programs and toll-free telephone and walk-in assistance. 234--Telephone help available for the deaf/hearing impaired. 211--Small business workshops; tax help for the new business person. 212--Problem resolution program; special help for problem situations. 231--Public libraries; tax information tapes and reproducible tax forms. 213--Examination procedures and how to prepare for an audit. 135--The collection process. 232--Tax fraud; how to report. Filing Requirements, Filing Status, Exemptions 318--Who must file? 319--Which form? 320--When, where and how to file. 327--Filing requirements for a dependent. 315--Filing as single. 314--Filing joint or separate. 317--Filing as head of household. 316--Filing as qualifying widow/widower. 313--Filing status for separated individuals. 330--Exemptions for age and blindness. 325--Dependent; who can be claimed? 329--Dependent child; divorced or separated parents. 326--Dependent; items to include in determining support. 328--Estimated tax. 331--Amended returns. 332--Decedents. Types of Income 114--Wages and salaries. 103--Tips. 311--Interest received. 312--Dividends; 1099 DIV and dividend exclusion. 432--Refund of state and local taxes. 131--Alimony received. 115--Business income. 215--Sole proprietorship income. 132--Capital gains and losses. 134--Pensions and annuities. 216--Pensions; general rule. 133--Lump-sun distributions; profit-sharing. 113--Rental income and expenses. 415--Renting to a relative. 214--Renting vacation property. 433--Royalties. 431--Farming and fishing income. 430--Earnings for clergy members. 112--Unemployment compensation. 413--Gambling income and expenses. 230--Bartering income. 414--Scholarships, fellowships and grants. 333--Nontaxable income. Adjustments to income 136--Charitable contribution deduction 110--Deduction for married couples when both work. 411--Moving expenses; do I qualify? 235--Employe business expenses. 210--Business use of car. 335--Business travel expenses. 412--Business entertainment expenses. 310--Individual retirement accounts. 203--Alimony paid. 334--Disability income exclusion. 434--Bad debt deduction. Itemized Deductions 122--Should I itemize my deductions? 127--Medical and dental expenses. 130--Medical insurance. 126--Medicines and drugs. 117--Taxes. 120--Sales tax. 116--Interest expense. 128--Contributions. 129--Casualty losses. 121--Miscellaneous expenses. 118--Office-in-the-home expenses. 119--Educational expenses. Tax Computation 420--Tax table; who should use? 419--Tax rate schedules; who should use? 417--Tax figured by IRS. 418--Income averaging; who can use? 416--Self-employment tax. 425--10-year averaging for lump-sum distribution. 426--Minimum tax. 427--Alternative minimum tax. 429--Gift tax. 428--Estate tax. Tax Credits 220--Child care credit; do I qualify? 219--Earned income credit. 218--Residential energy credit. 225--Credit for the elderly. 217--Credit for contributions to candidates for public office. 226--Investment credit. 227--Qualified royalty owners exemption (windfall profit tax). General Information 337--Highlights of 1982 tax changes. 435--Refunds; how long they should take. 436--Copy of your tax return; how to get one. 229--Forms/publications; how to order. 228--Extensions for time to file your tax return. 309--Form W-2; what to do if not received. 437--Penalty and interest charges. 409--IRS notices and bills; how to pay. 237--Tax benefits for low-income Americans. 410--Penalty for underpayment of estimated tax; Form 2210. 209--Recordkeeping for business and personal use. 236--How to choose a tax preparer. 308--Audit appeal rights. 208--Failure to pay child/spousal support. 341--Highlights of tax changes that will begin in 1983. 301--Withholding on interest and dividends; how to file for exemption. Basis of Assets, Depreciation, Sale of Assets 109--Sale of personal residence; general. 108--Sale of personal residence; how to report gain. 336--Basis of assets; general. 408--Depreciation; general. 207--Depreciation; accelerated cost recovery system. 238--Installment sales. Employer Tax Information 106--Social Security withholding rates. 206--Form W-2; where, when, how to file. 239--Form W-4; employe's withholding allowance certificate. 307--Federal tax deposits; how to make without deposit cards. 407--Employer identification number; how to apply. 306--Paying taxes on your employes. 338--Form 942; employer's quarterly tax return for household employe. 138--Form 941; employer's quarterly federal tax return. 438--Form 940; deposit requirements. 439--Form 940; employer's annual federal unemployment tax return. 440--Targeted jobs credit. Tax Information for Aliens and U.S. Citizens Living Abroad 340--Resident and nonresident aliens. 441--Dual status alien. 339--Alien tax clearance. 137--Nonresident alien ownership of real property. 404--Foreign earned income exclusion; general. 406--Foreign earned income exclusion; what income qualifies? 303--Foreign tax credit.