When Madison Avenue talks, people listen. And the slogans of E. F. Hutton and other multimillion-dollar advertisers become part of the vernacular.

Sometimes the marketing results are spectacular. We drink "the real thing" on the job and enjoy "Miller time" afterward. And while it may not be true that "gentlemen prefer Hane's," hordes of women do.

Slogan recognition does not always equate with success, however. For example, we know that NBC is "proud as a peacock," but we can't see why.

It also strikes me that many of the best-known slogans could be more aptly applied to something or someone else. For instance . . .

"The good hands people."

A massage parlor.

"The Capitalist Tool."

Ronald Reagan.

"57 Varieties."

The Democratic Party.

"You Deserve a Break Today."

The IRS. (Don't I wish! With my luck I'll hear this from an orthopedic surgeon).

"Up, Up and Away."


"Own a piece of the Rock."

Certain real estate developers.

"We're Bullish on America."

The U.S. Information Agency.

"America's Favorite way to Fly."

Among legal products: Gallo Wines.

"99 44/100 percent Pure."

The CIA.

"We are Driven."

The members of the Teamsters Union.

"We Make it Simple."

Reagan's speechwriters.

"We Do it all for You."

Another massage parlor.

"Just slightly ahead of our Time."

The DAR (if you figure their time is the America Revolution).

"Reach out and touch Someone."

The phone companies--but mainly when applying for rate increases.

"I'd Rather Fight than Switch."

Caspar Weinberger.

"Don't Leave Home without It."

Pepto-Bismol or Kaopectate.

P.S. If you have some better ideas of your own on appropriate subjects or familiar slogans, step on it. Care enough to send me the very best (with permission to use them in another column). I know how important it is to listen--instead of doing the work myself.