Some days, when you're racing the clock and the clock is winning, you read the front page of This Here Journal the way a jewel thief cleans out a showroom window: snatch and grab.
When you read that way, you miss lots. Luckily, though, my army of Loyal Leveyites often protects me by calling with the Best and the Belly-laughingest. Kind of like having your very own clipping service. And so it went the other day when Verdell Davis of Northwest called to say that there was a wonderful name in that morning's story about the Philippines.
I had missed it, but she was right:
The spiritual leader of Catholics of that nation is named Cardinal Jaime Sin.
Verdell and I had a good laugh about that. Then she asked: "Are you ever going to write up some more of those PFLN'S? -- those Perfect Fit Last Names?"
Here's my answer, Verdell -- an assortment of the most amazingly appropriate surnames one file folder ever contained.
John Curran of Southwest says there's an undertaker in Houston named Groaner Digger. Through groaning? There's also an attorney in Philadelphia named Ronald Supena.
Mildred York of Greenbelt points out that one of the salesmen at Slumberland Bedding in Riverdale is named Zeb Sheets. Vern See works in the optical department of the Sears in Fairfax, notes Bob Brett of the same city. And who owns Vienna Glass Company? Phil Ellis of Vienna says it's none other than Charlie Glaze.
Doctors are always right up there in the PFLN sweepstakes. Martha Aldridge of Alexandria reports two medics from the ear clinic at Fort Belvoir whose names are Payne and Slaughter. Audrey Straus Koch of Rockville knows a Dr. Louis C. Skinner Jr. in Coral Gables, Fla. Yup, he's a dermatologist. And how about a cardiologist named Dr. Rich Hart (thanks, "Anonymous of Alexandria")?
If you'd rather sink your teeth into a few dentists, I offer these: Dr. Toothacher (from M. Miller of Annandale), Dr. Yanchus (pronounced YANK-us, says Sylvia Posten of Clinton), Dr. Ronald G. Toothman of Chambersburg, Pa. (Valerie Malmont, also of Chambersburg), Dr. Isadore Yell of Dayton, Ohio (his sign read "I. Yell, D.D.," says Barbara Zook of McLean), Dan and Clifford Pullen of Belle Mead, N.J. (thanks, Jean Porter) -- and a dental partnership from the north of England composed of Drs. Gass and Bashum (a teen-aged memory supplied by Jennifer Santley of Annandale).
Academics? Hard to top an ornithologist named Chandler Robbins (thanks, Win Barber of Oxon Hill), an Ohio State University geologist named Aurele La Rocque (courtesy of Michael Battles) or an Arizona State University astronomer named Sumner Starrfield (from Virginia Guidi of Alexandria).
And, finally, these:
New York radio talk show host Mark Chataway (Donna Mackie).
A Chinese laundry owner in Tasmania named Wah Shing (Richard L. Whitford of Southwest).
American Insurance Association attorney Penny Farthing (Carol Cassell of College Park and Monica Worth of Fairfax).
Smithsonian birding guide author Claudia Wilds (Richard C. Banks of Alexandria).
Pikeville, Ky., alcoholic beverage control administrator Michael DeBourbon (Mr. and Mrs. T.C. Aldridge of Alexandria).
And my all-time favorite, D.C. cab driver Soon B. Park (Bernie Williams of Northwest).