Perhaps we should take out a second mortgage and build a wing. The Bob Levey Hall of Grammatical Shame is a roaring success.

Two weeks ago, I put out the call to you loyal, long-suffering readers: Find ads that butcher the English language and mail me the particulars. I would try to nudge the perpetrators onto the straight and narrow through the glare of publicity.

I figured I'd get a few dozen nominations in the first few days.

I got 585.

You readers, always an alert crew, are obviously a rubbed-raw crew. The advertising industry expects you to sit there and take it when tenses are fluffed, when subjects and verbs disagree, when punctuation is misplaced or unnecessary. But you aren't buying. And you want to do something about it.

So let's take a few prisoners and name a few names. Here are the best/worst among the first batch of submissions:

Beth Woodell, of Laurel, passes the two signs every day. They sit beside Route 1 at the entrance to Beltsville, one alongside the northbound lanes, one alongside the southbound lanes. The signs read: "The Lions of Beltsville Welcomes You."

Les Hale, of Severna Park, and Saul Rosen, of Bethesda, teamed up for a whack at "Masterpiece Theater," the classy mainstay of public television. The intro to that show goes like this: " . . . made possible by a grant from the Mobil Corporation, which invites you to join with them in supporting . . . ."

As Saul points out, either the corporation is singular (in which case the phrase should be, "invites you to join with it") or it's plural (in which case it should be, "invite you to join with them").

Hall of Famer Number Three comes courtesy of Hope Hutchins, of Silver Spring. She nominates those get-a-quickie-loan magazine ads that shout: "Borrow up to $10,000 or more!"

Which is it, kids? Ten thou or more than ten thou? Meanwhile, "up to" should be "as much as."

Rick Greene, of Northwest Washington, took a swing at ABC News for that outfit's motto: "Where more Americans get their news than from any other source." Rick's gentle description of that phrase is "garbled." Mine would be "tortured." The ABC phrase is a typical attempt to connect two thoughts with a hammer, a handful of tacks and a tin ear. Syntax doesn't work that way. Better: "Where more Americans get their news."

Jeffrey Helman, of Charlottesville, says the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation deserves to take the oath of office for this slogan: "You've got a friend in Pennsylvania." As Jeffrey notes, "You have a friend in Pennsylvania" is more dignified and more palatable.

Prince William County was trying to get out the vote. But all it did was raise the hackles of Rita Brown, who lives in Triangle. Her beef? The stickers given out by Prince William election officials on Election Day.

"I Voted -- Have You?" the stickers say. Rita thinks they should have said, "I Voted -- Did You?" or "I Have Voted -- Have You?" but not a scrambled combination of the two. I fully agree.

Ads in the subway can be particularly galling because they keep staring back at you. So it goes each morning for Lauren Boyd, of Falls Church, when she confronts a National Kidney Foundation ad during her Orange Line commute.

The ad's heading: "1 OUT OF 9 SUFFER FROM KIDNEY DISEASE." If an editor should ever blue-pencil it (and an editor should, fast), the heading would read: "1 OUT OF 9 SUFFERS FROM KIDNEY DISEASE."

Finally, a special place of dishonor in the Hall of Grammatical Shame to Christopher T. Cross, an assistant secretary of education. He was quoted as follows in a Nov. 13 Washington Post story:

"It's the students who expect to go into employment after {high} school who you are going to have to motivate."

David Kogon, of Silver Spring, observes that "whom" is a lot more correct in that sentence than the second "who." If an education pro fluffs this one, maybe our hall needs two second mortgages and two new wings.CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL

A penny doesn't buy anything by itself any more. But put a few together, then a few more, and you can run up quite a few dollars in quite a short time.

During this year's Children's Hospital fund-raising campaign, we're hoping to produce a bigger flood of pennies than ever. Bring your collection to our office, 1150 15th St. NW., during business hours. We'll do the counting and sorting. Every red cent helps sick kids whose families can't afford to pay for their medical care at Children's.


Make a check or money order payable to Children's Hospital and mail it to Bob Levey, The Washington Post, Washington, D.C. 20071.